


An Ache In My Heart

by Eskayrobot, Poaxath



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Angst, Controlling Behavior, Cunnilingus, Desk Sex, Doggy Style, Dom/sub, Domestic Fluff, Engagement, F/M, Feel trips, Finn needs a time out, Finn's got issues, Fluff, Forbidden Love, Hux always sucks, Miscarriage, Multi, Mutual Pining, Out of character Finn, Phone Sex, Poe is an asshole sometimes, Poe is right sometimes, Polyamory, Possessive Finn, Pregnancy, Professor Ben Solo, Rey has some growing up to do, Slow Burn, Smut, Spanking, Teacher-Student Relationship, The Reylo will happen, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, fear not, student rey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-05-08 06:19:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 142,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14688255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eskayrobot/pseuds/Eskayrobot, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poaxath/pseuds/Poaxath
Summary: Rey's a student with an already-complicated life. Kylo's a professor at her college just trying to get by. They have no idea they're about to collide and upend everything about their lives.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to our new fic! If you've come here from reading The Sacred Texts, we love that you've come to try this new one out. 
> 
> If you're a new reader, welcome! We hope you all enjoy the story, and as always, feel free to leave us some comments! We love you!

“Oh, come _on,_ you have to tell me _something._ ”

“I’m sorry, Rey, I just can’t.”

“ _Jessika! Please!_ ”

The dark-haired girl shook her head, hiding a self-satisfied smirk behind the green straw of her coffee drink. “No way, Rey. I swore I would give zero details if I wanted to do it.”

Rey scowled back at her, her own expression decidedly dissatisfied. “That’s bullshit, Jess. I’m your best friend. If you have to keep this from even me, is it even worth it?”

Jessika bit her straw, smirking like a cat with her cream. “Oh, Rey, it was _definitely_ worth it.” 

“Don’t say stuff like that if that’s all you’re going to say! I’m just going to close my ears and tune you out,” Rey snapped, making a show of plugging her ears.

Jessika let out a musical laugh. “Okay, okay, I’ll tell you what I _can._ But only because you’re my best friend and I love you.”

Rey dropped her hands and moved her chair in closer to Jessika’s, eyes wide with excitement and expectation.

“For one, he’s _older,_ ” Jessika began, whispering the final word like a sinful prayer.

Rey moved back a bit, shocked. “How much?”

Jessika glared. “That’s extra details, Rey. Just know that he’s older than we are.”

“Like, a senior?” Rey prompted.

“Graduated. From both undergrad and grad, for a while,” Jessika supplied with a tone of finality.

Rey leaned forward again, intrigued. She knew that Jessika had a preference for men who were older, she’d been that way since they were in high school. While Rey was still trying to get Finn, only one year their senior, to notice her, Jessika was already being courted by men in college. It even caused quite the stir when Jessika wanted to bring a twenty-five-year-old date to prom, as the school’s cutoff was twenty (but if they thought this was preventing the students from getting drunk, it was fruitless). But since entering college, Jessika had seemed to hold her interest on the grad school students and maybe the occasional mid-twenty-something townie when the bar scene proved interesting enough. But to hear that Jessika was seeing a guy who was in his late twenties, at the latest? Rey was intrigued, indeed.

“Let me just tell you that men that age _know_ how to treat a girl. He went down on me for, god, I don’t even know how long. I’m pretty sure I blacked out at one point, it was phenomenal.” Jessika sighed dreamily. For a moment her eyes were far away, but a shiver raced down her spine and she focused on Rey again. “And his cock is truly a sight to behold. It was massive, like, _massive_ massive, but he knew what to do with it. Like, you know how sometimes a guy has a huge dick and thinks it’s all he needs and he doesn’t have to actually know what to do?”

Rey just shrugged. She’d only ever been with Finn. They lost their virginities to each other in her junior year of high school, after a year and a half of dating. It was in the bed of Finn’s truck, although he had done it up like a bed with copious amounts of pillows and blankets and they had done it underneath the stars in the middle of a field. Rey had thought it was terribly romantic.

“Right, sorry. Anyway, just know that he _knows_ what he’s doing and it was,” Jessika shivered again, “it was hot as hell. I’m definitely fucking him again as soon as possible.”

“You _were_ safe, weren’t you?” Rey asked, needing to make sure. Jess was usually pretty good, but there were a small handful of times when she had let her libido get the best of her and they’d needed to make a “just-in-case” trip.

“Yeah, yeah, no worries. I told you I wasn’t going to fuck that up again this year,” Jessika insisted.

“Well, that’s good, at least.” Rey smiled and grabbed her coffee again, satisfied that it was finally less than scalding. “I’m glad that you found someone to keep you entertained. Finn was starting to get worried.”

Jessika rolled her eyes. “Only your boyfriend would be concerned with whether or not I’m getting laid on the regular.”

“He’s more concerned because it interferes with _our_ regular,” Rey replied.

“What are you talking about? You two haven’t fucked the last few times I’ve been out all night.” Jessika frowned and reached out to grab Rey’s hand. “Are things--are they going alright with you guys?”

Rey turned bright red, pulling her hand back. “What? Yeah. He’s just tired. It’s his senior year and he--he has a lot to do. And Professor Dameron is such a popular advisor so it’s hard for Finn to get time to see him. His senior project is all that stands between him graduating or not so Professor Dameron is trying as hard as he can to help. It just--it just leaves Finn…tired.”

Jessika didn’t look convinced. “Maybe you guys should do something together, like go away for the weekend or something. It’s not healthy to go this long without fucking.”

“Jessika! There’s nothing wrong with a bit of a dry spell! School is just a lot and he needs to focus!” Rey looked away, annoyed. She bit down a cruel comment about how Jessika wouldn’t know because she always threw men away before they got to the point of a relationship. “Just, don’t worry about it.”

“Fine. But Rey, I’m here if you need me.” Jessika smiled softly, affection in her deep brown eyes. “You’re my best friend. I’d do anything for you.”

Rey’s heart softened right back up and she returned Jessika’s look. “You’re mine, too. And hey, I’m happy for you for getting some good dick.”

Jessika let out another loud laugh. “Some _amazing_ dick. And a _magical_ tongue. I swear, girl. I swear!”

Jessika’s laugh was infectious and Rey found herself joining in. Soon, she forgot about her relationship problems weighing heavily on her heart and she allowed herself to enjoy the mindless chatter of homework avoidance.

 

__________________

 

At this point in his career, Professor Kylo Ren had thought he'd seen it all when it came to assignments. Locked away in his office, he sat in the high-backed leather chair, dozens of short stories strewn across the large, mahogany desk for grading. The desk itself was old, but it was sturdy. Kylo had been teaching at the University for three years now, even though he'd gotten his degree from graduate school at twenty-four. While he'd been taking classes, he was teaching English at a local high school, and upon completion of the degree, he'd moved up to the college level.

Picking up one student’s paper, he scanned it, his trusty red marker between his lips as he read. It was bland, boring, and definitely not intriguing. The assignment had been fairly simple, or so he'd thought. Submit a short story between five and six pages long about a topic intended to make the reader feel something. Most of the papers were filled with the same old drabble about cancer, or losing a pet. The assignment had been designed to help an aspiring writer learn how to use words in such a manner that it could draw the reader in with so little to go on.

Even the paper submitted by one Miss Jessika Pava was uninteresting. It talked about love, and how precious it was when it was new and budding. He fought the urge to roll his eyes as he took his marker to it, editing words here, making suggestions there. Jessika, while pretty and smart, was completely and utterly boring in her writing. She droned on in her paper, using word vomit to fill the length requirement. It frustrated him because he’d heard her speak, and he knew she could make words flow like music.

All of that aside, it didn't stop him from fucking her. She hadn’t been the first student to approach him, trying to be sly about her intentions and what she wanted, but she had been the only student that he'd taken into his office after class and fucked against his desk. A lot of college-aged girls seemed to have a kink for professors, he'd come to notice. Something about a man as an authority figure, and the knowledge to get a college degree.

His eyes slid over to where his cell phone was resting on a leather-bound notebook, its notification light silent. He wondered what she was doing right now, if maybe she had a little time. God knew he needed a break from these papers before he failed every single one of them simply because he was in a bad mood.

Grabbing the phone, he brought the screen to life and tapped out a quick message:

 

_ <Are you free?>_

The reply came not but a minute later.

_ <Just hanging with my girlfriend, no big.> _

_ <Yours or mine?>_

_ <Mine.> _

_ <No panties.> _

_ <Yes, sir ;) > _

_ <See you in five?> _

_ <Yes.> _

 

Satisfied, he set the phone back in its spot and drummed his fingers against the arm of the chair, staring at the papers. He should probably pick those up before they get scattered everywhere. Lifting himself to his feet, he gathered them all into a neat pile and tucked them in the drawer of the desk, waiting for him to get back to them after he was done with her.

He knew somewhere, that it was wrong, that he shouldn't be fucking one of his students, but what he was truly worried about was his moral compass. While fucking her was wrong, was it even more wrong for it to be only sex, where she left immediately afterwards? Or would it be worse to try and romance her on top of it?

Moving to the window, he looked out across the campus, taking in the sprawling buildings and the freshly cut lawns. There were students bustling everywhere, trying to make it to their next class. Some were lounging under the shade of the trees, working on homework on one of the last warmish days before the cold of upcoming winter truly set in.

 

__________________

 

“Oh, hey, sweetie, I gotta get going. It’s dick o’clock,” Jessika sing-songed, springing up from her seat.

Rey frowned. “Just like that, you’re going to leave your bestie?”

 _"Magic,_ ” Jessika sang in reminder as she came over to give Rey a kiss on the head, waving excitedly as she ran off.

Rey sighed and gathered up her books, not feeling the need to be in the student union if she wasn’t with Jessika anymore. She could head back to their dorm, or she could...maybe Finn was free? She looked down at her phone, sighing when she saw that he hadn’t called or texted her at all today. She knew that he had a meeting with Professor Dameron this afternoon, but she could have sworn it was supposed to be over by now. It was all just preliminary stuff anyway, as he wasn’t graduating until the spring semester as it was. But he’d stressed to both Rey and Jessika how important it was to get your preparation work done as soon as possible, and how great Professor Dameron was for helping him out.

Rey liked Professor Dameron. She’d taken a class of his her freshman year, what should have been a boring Mechanical History 100 that he turned into an absolute riot. So Rey was happy that her boyfriend also liked the professor, glad to know that he was in good hands with him. But still…she couldn’t shake what Jessika had said. Maybe their dry spell _was_ a bit excessive. They hadn’t had sex since the night of the Halloween party, when they’d gotten absolutely smashed and barely made it back to his apartment. He’d almost put it in wrong quite a _few_ times before she finally flipped him over and rode him, both of them passing out before either came to completion. That was almost two weeks ago now, and they hadn’t really been able to spend much time together. But Thanksgiving break was coming, and neither had any parents, so it was only natural that they spend it together, right?

 

< _Hey, sweetie. What were you doing for dinner tonight? Jess just bailed on me :( > _

_ <Hey peanut, im actually going to be busy tonight> _

_ <Working on graduation stuff> _

 

Rey sighed. But it was important, she knew how important it all was, so she tried not to let her disappointment show in her text.

 

< _Don’t work too hard, sweetie. Did you want me to wait at your house tonight? > _

_ <Dont know when ill be back> _

_ <No point in u waiting> _

_ <Have you given any thought to what we’re going to do for Thanksgiving?> _

_ <Figured we could just do what we did last year> _

_ <Order a pizza and binge netflix> _

 

That was at least a comfort to Rey. He wasn’t blowing her off completely. He was just busy right now, but he would make time for her. Their relationship was just _fine_ and it would be even better when he finally graduated next semester and he could let all of that stress just go. Then they would get married like they’d always talked about in high school, maybe start a family in the next ten years after they got established in their chosen professions and felt secure enough. Rey smiled, thinking of the fantasy life they’d built together over the last few years. It would be their reality soon, she just knew it.

 

< _Sounds perfect. I’ll see you tomorrow? > _

_ <Yeah, see u tmrrw. Love u> _

_ <I love you, too.> _


	2. Chapter 2

Two days after he'd last hooked up with Jess, Kylo was back in his office again, cursing under his breath as he gathered up his things to head off to his first class of the day. He was already late as it was, and it was campus policy that if the instructor was more than fifteen minutes late, you could leave without penalty. Grabbing his over the shoulder bag, the strap slung across his chest, he reached for his coffee mug and headed out of his office, just barely remembering to lock it in time. Luckily, this floor of the building was away from the student population, so he was able to walk at a brisk pace as he rushed to his class.

He loved his job, he really did, but it was times like this when he hated it. Finals were coming up and he had tests to finish writing, and even more papers to grade. If he could just walk around with an IV drip of coffee, he would be all right. As it was, he wasn't getting much sleep, and he just knew he had dark circles under his eyes.

So when he made it outside to where most of the student body was milling about, he let his irritation show. Maybe they'd get out of the way or move faster if they saw he was pissed off. Usually, it worked. Hearing his phone ping loudly, he dug it out of his pocket and glanced down at it, sighing when he saw it was his mother, confirming Thanksgiving plans.

Leia Organa-Solo was the department head for political science majors at the university, and she _knew_ he had a class he was supposed to be in. He supposed a text was better than a phone call right now, though.

“Oof!” Rey gasped, suddenly flat on her arse. “Hey! Watch where you’re going!” she snapped immediately, turning to pick up her things. She’d been rushing across the quad to get to her next class, having been made woefully late by taking an accidentally too long of a nap between her classes. She’d had a feeling that she may have snoozed one-too-many times, but without Jessika there to throw something at her, it was easy to lose track of time. Now she was going to be _super_ late, thanks to some inconsiderate jerk.

As she looked up at who exactly that jerk was, she had the sudden thought that it was a hazard to let him walk the sidewalks anyway. This man was...he was... _big._ She’d never seen shoulders that broad, and even beneath a sports coat she could see that his chest was packed with muscles. He had beautifully thick hair, too, long in a way that almost fell into his eyes. She wondered if that was why he didn’t see her, if it was because his gorgeous locks fell into those haunting amber eyes. Amber eyes that were glaring at _her_ she suddenly realized, his full red mouth turned down in a scowl.

Belatedly, she realized that there was something _wet_ on her chest, something hot was now splashed over her cream t-shirt, soaking from her right collarbone to her...fuck, why had she picked today of all days to wear a hot pink bra? Why hadn't she zipped up her coat? Why was her luck always the worst?

The creature on the ground was glaring back up at him, acting like he'd offended her honor, like he’d run into her on purpose. His coffee was spilled all over the sidewalk, the cup lying uselessly on the ground, though thankfully none of it landed on his shirt. It stained the bottom of his pants leg though, and he hissed at the burn. Turning to look back at her, his scowl deepened. He'd had one thing he was looking forward to today, and it was that coffee. Staring down at her for a long minute, meeting hazel eyes, currently narrowed at him in anger, he glared right back. They were pretty eyes, he noted absently. Green flecked with gold around the iris.

“Sorry, sorry,” he muttered under his breath. He was half-sorry, anyway. He hadn't meant to run into her, but at the same time...he wasn't exactly hard to miss. Crouching down, he quickly scooped up the papers she'd dropped, not having time to really rearrange them back into a neat pile. Some of them were drenched in his coffee, and he took another moment to mourn internally. He clenched the papers in one hand and offered his other to her as he stood. “I'm sorry, I didn't see you,” he said, his tone curt.

“Tell that to my professor when I get docked participation points for being late,” she huffed. She glanced at his hand, debating whether or not to accept it. Fuck, the coffee had gotten on her papers, too. Although, that may be the excuse she needed? Professor Holdo would believe her when she said she’d been bulldozed over in the quad if she showed up with her things covered in coffee...right?

Seeing his hand twitch, clearly annoyed at being left waiting for too long, she hastily put hers in his and allowed him to hoist her up. And somehow, in a move right out of a horrible romantic-comedy (or possibly because she was so small and his arms were just so _big)_ , she ended up pressed against his chest. She stared up at him, eyes wide and mouth failing to find words, as she tried not to think about his warm body pressed against hers. She shivered to feel his body heat through the wet spot on her shirt, making her all the more aware that her breasts were pressed against his chest. Maybe she was as sex-starved as Jessika had been saying.

Stiffening in surprise as she fell against him, he stared back down at her, his eyebrows high. She was so fucking _tiny_ , or maybe he just didn't know his own strength. And there was something wet against his chest. Oh god. He stepped away from her quickly, nearly dumping her back onto the sidewalk with how abrupt it was. Instantly, his hand shot out to grasp her elbow to steady her, and as soon as she was firm on her feet, he dropped his hand. Her chest was soaked on one side, and he could definitely see her bra. “What's your professor’s name?” he asked, swallowing hard as he looked at some point over her head. She'd smelled really good up close, and he was trying his best to think through the fog, ignoring the damp spot on his shirt and the memory of hot pink.

“It’s--she’s Professor Holdo? It’s Poli-Sci,” Rey replied. She hadn’t wanted to take the class in the first place, but it was a prereq for her graduation next year. She really hated her prereq classes and had unwisely put them off until her later years, wanting to just focusing on getting her mechanical engineering degree as soon as possible.

“I know her,” he nodded. He realized he was still holding her papers and glanced down at them, catching her name. “Rey?” He repeated, brow furrowing again. Rey was a guy’s name. “Anyway, Rey, don't worry about being docked points. I'll talk to her.” Handing the papers back to her, he glowered down at his pants leg again before picking up the cup and moving around her, stalking off to his class without another word.

“Thanks,” she muttered quietly to no one. She stood there for only a moment, thinking about the intensity of his gaze, of his solid warmth pressed against her, before shaking her head and breaking off in a sprint. Whoever that guy was, there was no way he was going to convince Professor Holdo to go any easier on her. She just had to hope that she would be shown some mercy today.

He barely made it to class with about a minute to spare. Hearing a few groans as the students missed the get out of jail free card by about a minute, he heard one call out to him.

“You look like shit, Professor. Rough morning?”

Taking his bag off, he set it on the desk in the middle of the room, looking up at the students seated, ready and waiting. “You could say that,” he said breathlessly. “I spilled my coffee all over some poor girl, so class will be shorter today. You all know how I like my caffeine.”

There were a few chuckles as he turned his back to them and began writing a couple notes on the board. “Today, I'm passing back your short story assignments. Take a look at the notes I've left on each and if you have any questions or concerns, see me after class.” From there, he dove into the lesson, giving a rather enthusiastic speech on the vast amounts of words in the English language, and how they ought to be utilized more, instead of repeating the same ones repeatedly.

________________

Professor Holdo had _not_ gone easy on her, Rey was lamenting as she met up with Jess for food.

“Holdo was impossible today, and all because I was a _little_ late to her class,” Rey sighed.

“I warned you not to take naps between classes, girl. _Especially_ when Finn or I aren't there to wake your lazy ass back up,” Jessika insisted.

“I may have made it on time if this broad as a billboard monster of a man didn't knock me down and spill his coffee on me,” Rey argued.

Jessika blinked at her in surprise. “Someone spilled coffee on you? What a coincidence! My Creative Writing professor spilled his coffee on some poor girl before class today, too.”

“Jess, this school isn't _that_ small. What does this professor of yours look like?” Rey prompted.

“Oh! UM. Yeah, I guess broad describes him pretty well,” Jessika replied. She hoped Rey didn't see the pink staining the tops of her cheeks. “Tall, dark hair, expressive eyes…” she trailed off, hoping she wasn't giving too much away.

“Same one,” Rey chimed in. She sighed. “He was kind of cute, though. In a nontraditional way, I mean. Not that I'm into professors or anything.”

Jessika wisely kept her mouth shut. Rey seemed too busy trying to hide what Jess thought was a very obvious sounding professor kink, although this revelation surprised her. Rey and Finn seemed to have the most vanilla sex ever. She wasn't even sure Finn _had_ gone down on the poor girl. So to hear that Rey harbored some sort of fantasy or the other was comforting.

“But what a small world, eh?” Rey finished.

“Truly crazy,” Jessika agreed with a secret smile on her lips.

She wondered if it would be appropriate to bring this interesting tidbit up to Kylo when they fucked next. Was that the sort of thing you told a hookup? “ _Oh, hey, you spilled coffee on my bestie!”_ She shook her head, biting back a giggle. That was ridiculous.

____________

Kylo had made good on his promise to speak to Professor Holdo, after both of their classes were over. He'd caught her as she was leaving the room, leaving it open for the next instructor to use.

“Her name was Rey,” he said, walking with her along the campus. He'd found a fresh cup of coffee in the cafeteria, and his mood was marginally better.

The purple-haired woman turned to look at him, shaking her head. “Late is late, you know that.”

“I do,” he agreed with a dip of his head. “But this was all my fault. I was running late and nearly ran her over.” Why was he going out of his way to convince the woman not to dock points for this one girl? He'd upheld his end of the promise--he’d spoken to her like he said he would. His part was done. But why did it frustrate him and egg him on even more to have the respectable professor have mercy on this...Rey.

She stopped suddenly and turned to him, a frown on her pretty face. She was older than him, but she didn't really look it. She aged incredibly well. “Well, Ren,” she sighed. “I'll give her this one chance, but if she's late again, no amount of begging me is going to change my mind.”

“Thank you,” he smiled, turning to head back to his own office, where he had an appointment with Jess.

Jessika was sitting in his chair, waiting for him patiently. Their tryst was fun and she enjoyed doing it, doing him. And it helped that she had an easy semester. She was going to pass this one with flying colors, and not just because she was fucking a professor. Besides, he seemed to be the hardest one on her...in more ways than one.

“So, I hear it really _is_ a small world after all,” Jess said as he closed the door.  

Frowning as he walked toward her, already loosening his tie, he paused by the desk. “What are you talking about?”

Jessika hopped up onto his desk, having already cleared a space away. She’d worn a skirt today and already divested herself of her underwear. The tryst was fun, but usually in a hurry. Not that she minded. This man could do _wonders_ in five minutes.

“Your little coffee-spilling girl? That’s Rey. We're roommates.” She reached out to help with his belt as she prattled on. “Actually, we’ve been best friends since middle school. Inseparable, some would say.”

“If this is your way of suggesting a threesome, the answer is no.” He unbuttoned his shirt one at a time, but left it on. It got too constricting at times.

Jess made a face up at him before returning to her work. “Ew, no. She’s my _best friend._ I don’t...no. I was just saying that it's crazy that she would run into you of all people.” She pulled his belt free and tossed it aside. “But...she’s pretty, isn't she?”

Okay, she loved Rey but being inseparable came with the unfortunate baggage of always being compared to one another. She couldn't help her sudden stab of jealousy to think that Kylo could somehow already be preferring Rey over her. She’d been grateful when Finn took her off that market, effectively putting an end to any guy whose head she turned. She didn't want Rey’s cast asides, of course, she never wanted to be seen as option B, but it was comforting to know that Rey wouldn't also take someone _she_ wanted.

Kylo shrugged. What was he supposed to say? “Yeah, she's pretty. So? Lots of people at this school are pretty. But since you're roommates with her, would you tell her I talked with Holdo? She's not going to dock any points for today.” He nudged her legs apart with his own and stepped between them, looking down at her. “You're jealous, aren't you?” he suddenly realized. He'd seen that look on plenty of women’s faces, the faux innocence as they asked probing questions.

Jessika shrugged. “Yeah. She’s pretty and she thought you were cute. Not that I _care_ if you did want to fuck her, by all means do what you want. You know you’re not the only guy I’m fucking, after all.” She helped slide on a condom. “But you should know that she has a boyfriend. High school sweethearts, all that.”

“Why are we talking about Rey?” he asked, dragging her closer. “I'm not in here fucking Rey right now.”

Jessika didn’t know why the “right now" sounded like a plan. A promise. But maybe it was her fault for planting the idea in his head in the first place? Maybe he would have never thought of Rey again if she hadn't let her mouth run off. Or perhaps she was letting old insecurities get the best of her. After all, she was the one with Professor Ren and Rey had Finn.

“Well then shut me up, _sir_.”

“I think I like it when you're loud,” he smirked, pulling her onto him. “Say it again.”

____________

Rey cuddled into Finn’s side, so happy to finally be in his arms after what was almost a whole week without. He had finally found some time for her after class on Thursday, and they’d met at his apartment. While Rey had hoped he would rip her clothes off of her, he instead kissed her sweetly and suggested they watch a movie. It was nice, though. She would fuck him later. For now, she was just happy to be touching him in any way.

“How’s prep on your senior project coming along?” She asked.

Finn shrugged around her, his face buried against the back of her head, dark eyes trained on the TV over the curve of her skull. “It's going well. Poe is teaching me everything, and it's actually sticking in my head.”

“That’s amazing!” Rey enthused, looking up at him. “I'm so proud of you for putting so much work into this. You’re really doing an amazing job making sure you graduate with honors so you can get a fantastic job and start preparing for our future.” She looked away for a moment, trying to garner the courage to admit her feelings. “I’ll admit that I've been feeling a bit...well...neglected lately, but I just think about how everything you're doing is for us and I just know it will be worth it.” She looked back up at him and smiled. “I love you so much, Finn.”

“I'm sorry, Peanut,” he murmured, ducking his face down further against her so that she couldn't see it. “I've just been...really busy. You know I love you too. Poe’s just been putting me through the wringer. It’s a pain in the ass, but worth it.”

She nuzzled into him, sighing contentedly. “Well, you won't have to even think about him for a while. School’s out Tuesday for break and then we will have five long days of just us, Netflix, and whatever food we don’t accidentally burn.”  

Suddenly serious, he lifted his head back up, his cheeks flaming. “Rey...why are you even with me?”

She pulled away from him, brows creasing in confusion. “What? Why--Finn, why are you even asking me that? I'm sorry I said I felt neglected, I swear I understand why you're doing everything. You know I love you and support you, right? You’re--you're everything to me.”

“It’s just...I wonder if I still make you happy, is all.” He rubbed one hand over his face. “I'm always busy, and once I graduate, I'm going to try and get a job in criminal justice. Those are long hours. You would just have to get used to a lot of days like this past week. I want the expectation to be realistic.” He leaned up to kiss her nose, pulling her back against him. “Is that...can we work with that?”

Rey nodded, eyes wide and sincere. There was a slightly hollow feeling in her chest that had been there since he asked her that horrid question, but he wanted to make things work, he wasn’t trying to throw her away, too, right? No, no. Finn would never. They were soulmates, she had always been sure of that. Their shared childhood trauma had created a bond between them that no one could sever. She was positive.

“Anything you need from me, Finn, I’ll do. I swear,” she promised.

“Right now, I just want to cuddle with you and binge watch this season of _American Horror Story,”_ he said, wrapping his arms around her as he hoped she didn't notice the guilty pitter-pat of his heart.

Rey tried not to show her disappointment as he pulled her down to cuddle some more. Well, maybe she could be open with him a bit more?

“Um, Finn? I...um...I understand if you’re tired and all but...but there _is_ something that would make me happy,” Rey said quietly.

“What's that?” He asked, keeping his eyes on the screen.

“Could you...could you maybe make love to me?” She looked up at him, trying to read his expression. That hollow feeling in her chest was aching in full force but she would prove it wrong.

Looking down at her, his eyes fell to her mouth. “What, right here? We can't do it on the couch, Rey. Do you know how bad for your back that is?”

Slowly, he slipped out from behind her and scooped her up into his arms. “But yeah, I can do that, Peanut,” he said as he carried her back to their bedroom.

Rey felt safe and happy in his arms, her body singing as she was carried away. She knew he still loved her. Her heart was stupid and didn't know anything at all. As she leaned up to kiss him, she finally felt calm and reassured. They were fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for sticking it through to this chapter. The Reylo IS coming, we absolutely promise.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanksgiving break had been exactly what Finn and Rey needed. They fell back into their usual rhythm, moving as a familiar unit around his apartment morning, noon, and night. They made love at all hours of the day, in between food and homework, happily spent wrapped up in each other’s arms in various states of undress otherwise. Finn only left once to meet up with Poe, the Saturday after the holiday, letting Rey know that Poe had found some research relevant to his topic and they needed to meet to discuss it. Rey took the opportunity to check in with Jessika, who was already back at their dorm.

“Ugh, my holiday was annoying. My parents argued, my uncle was being none-too-vaguely racist, and my grandmother kept threatening to almost die, I swear. I just _had_ to get back to school,” Jessika said, sitting on her bed and painting her toes.

“Did any of your paramours linger?” Rey asked, sitting opposite the girl and working on her own toes. She’d chosen a pale shade of blue while Jess was doing a bright red.

“That one guy from my math class, yeah. And, oh my god, it's hilarious because I'm pretty sure Professor Hux totally _knows_ we’re banging so he keeps making sure we don't sit by each other. I mean, I never even gave him a _real_ handjob during class, it was just a lot of thigh rubbing. Professor Hux shouldn't have even been able to _see_ that. But, whatever,” Jessika shrugged.

“What about the older guy?” Rey asked.

“Oh, I think he spent the holiday with his family or something. For all I know he has a wife and kids, we don't really talk about personal stuff all that much." _Not since I made the mistake of bringing you up,_ Jessika reminds herself. Not that Kylo ever brought Rey up again, but she still feels like it created some bit of...something between them. The sex hadn't quite been the same the next two times. But again, not that she was complaining too much. Sex with Kylo was still better than sex with the senior in her math seminar.

“You should be careful with things like that, Jess,” Rey chastised kindly.

“Oh, I've never noticed a ring or anything. I'm just saying, we didn't really discuss _holiday plans._ That's not really necessary when you're just having casual sex,” Jessika replied. “Speaking of, how’s the dry spell?”

“Fixed!” Rey chirped happily. “I told him how I felt and he’s been so loving and attentive ever since! You were so right, we only needed to get away for a little while together. Thanks.”

“Where is he right now? I would have thought you’d keep him tied up to the bed and pumped full of Viagra once you got on that dick again,” Jessika asked.

“Meeting with his advisor,” Rey shrugged. She glanced down at her phone, seeing the blinking light of a notification. “Oh, he’s done! Do you care if I bounce?”

“No! No! Go, go _please!_ Go catch up on that sex, you deserve it!” Jessika insisted, making a shooting motion with her hands. “You better not show back up in this room until Monday morning, so you hear me?”

Rey smirked and rolled her eyes. “Yes, yes. Thank you, _Mother_.” she grabbed some clothes she wanted for the tomorrow and planted a quick kiss on Jessika’s cheek before dashing out of the room.

As she made her way across campus, a dark figure caught her eye. Was that--?

“Hey! You!” Rey called out, jogging over to him.  

Looking up at the sound of someone yelling, holding his pen between as his teeth, his eyes widened and then narrowed as he recognized Rey. Removing the pen to hold between his fingers, be said, “Hey, coffee girl. Sorry, I don't have any to spill on you today.” Looking back down at the paper he was holding, stuck to a notebook to provide support while walking, he made a mark on it.

“That’s good news for me, I guess. It’s way too cold to be wearing coffee again,” Rey said, shivering in her coat as a winter wind whipped past them. She followed the movement of his pen for a moment, wondering who walked and did work? “I just wanted to say thanks for whatever you did with Holdo. She didn't drop my grade from that day. I didn’t even know anyone but her department chair could hold sway with her. She’s sort of legendary for being a hardarse.”

He was only half paying attention to her as they walked, consumed by the need to finish grading things. He hated having work to do. “Well, it was a one-time favor,” he said absently. “She won't let you get away with it again.”

“Well I don't plan on being late anytime soon anyway, so as long as no more billboards masquerading as men knock me down, I should be good,” Rey replied, smirking at her own joke. The sun was bright and Finn was coming home and she was happy.

Turning his head to her with narrowed eyes, he let her see the joke for what it was worth--another scowl. “I'm not exactly...hard to miss,” he muttered. “Wait, you're the Rey Jessika is always talking about.” He knew who she was, of course, but he acted like he'd just put two and two together.

“Yeah. Jess and I are best friends and roommates. She _loves_ your class, you know. She’s always talking about how amazing you are. I was thinking of signing up for it next semester to fulfill my last English credit,” Rey chirped happily, bouncing a moment on her toes. It _was_ getting a little chilly, even with the November sun shining bright down on them. She hadn't even realized she took another step closer to him, her body unconsciously seeking warmth.

Nodding, he said, “I hope your writing is infinitely more creative than some of the things I've had to read lately.” Frowning, a sudden thought occurred to him. He wouldn't be able to see Jessika anymore if he was going to have her roommate in his class, as well. It was only a matter of time before she slipped up and said something that could jeopardize them both.

“Well, no promises there. I'm a mechanical engineering major, so it’s not _quite_ my wheelhouse,” Rey laughed. “But give me your car and I can fix anything.”

He gave her a small smirk, shaking his head. “That's okay. We’ll make a writer out of you, yet. You graduate, what, next year? Any thoughts of a career?” They were getting closer to one of the other buildings now.

Rey blushed, dipping her head down a bit into her fluffy beige scarf. “Okay, don’t laugh, but I always sort of wanted to be a vehicle designer.”

He tilted his head at her. “A vehicle designer? You mean like the people at car companies that come up with the next year’s concept art for the cars they've had on the road for the past twenty years?” It was an intriguing ambition. He honestly couldn't say he'd ever heard of that from one of his students before. Then again, Rey wasn't his student.

Rey nodded, frowning down at the ground. “Yeah. It’s...it’s a bit of joke in my department. I’m one of the only girls so they all like to...um...make fun that of _course_ the girl wants the design career. They like to ask if I'm going to design them dresses next. Which is ridiculous because it’s not like _that_ is a shameful career, either!”

She’d vented these frustrations to both Finn and Jessika countless times. Jessika would threaten to come kick some ass while Finn would just roll his eyes and insist that those boys were empty headed and threatened by her. Like with all things mechanical, it was a male-dominated career track and he insisted that those boys in her major were just worried she’d “take take their jobs".  

“A career is a career,” he shrugged. “It doesn't matter the person’s gender. I could easily say that I myself teach a form of English, which seems to be dominated by mostly females in the field. I think I do all right. If that's what you want to do, then you should. I encourage it.” He frowned again. Why had he said that? He wasn't her advisor. “What I mean, is that you should do what you want if it would make you happy.”

Rey smiled up at him, finally emerging from her scarf-cocoon of self-shame. “Thanks. Professor...Ren, right?”

Looking startled, he nodded before turning to face her fully. “I'm sorry, I never introduced myself, did I? But yes, I'm Ren.” He held out a hand to shake.

Rey shifted her bag to her other arm so that she could shake his hand properly. She was surprised to find it cold, or perhaps her own was warm. Either way, the temperature change made a shiver race up her arm and down her spine, her smile faltering for just a moment.

“I'm Rey.”

He dropped his hand away from hers, flexing it at his side. He'd felt _something_ jump between them at the connection, some shiver of electricity that tingled in his fingers.

“If you decide to take my class next semester, make sure you sign up early. Spots usually fill quickly.” He cleared his throat, looking down at her. She really was a pretty thing, like Jess had suggested. He could easily see why she'd been jealous. Not that he had any intentions of screwing another student. No, that was a one and done for him. He couldn't run to the risk of being caught. He'd lose his job, and probably be slapped with a sexual assault charge.

“Sounds awesome, thanks!” She glanced up at a clock mounted on the building they were almost at, doing some quick math. “I should probably get going. I don't want to keep you and I'm supposed to be meeting my boyfriend!” She smiled at him. “You know, it’s just amazing to know that there are professors at this school who truly care about their students. My boyfriend’s advisor, Professor Dameron, is always making time for him, and you clearly care about your students, Jess is always gushing about you. It makes me glad I decided to stay Stateside.”

His eyes narrowed at the mention of Dameron. The hot-headed professor that was entirely too charming for his own good. “Yes, well. Miss Pava is very good at what she does. If more students actually made an effort, their academic lives would go so much more smoothly.” Kylo looked her over again, taking in her brown hair, so plain, but it looked good on her. Taking a deep breath, he wrote down his office number on a spare piece of paper before handing it to her. “If you need any help with planning or scheduling classes, feel free to come see me.” His intentions were pure. He just wanted to be another resource for her and he did not want to fuck her six ways to Sunday against his desk. Doing that in a place he'd done it to her best friend was just rude. _And_ she had a boyfriend!

“Have a good day, Rey,” he said, offering her a smile.

“You, too, Professor Ren,” she said, pocketing the paper and shooting him one last smile before she ran off to meet Finn. She would ignore the warmth of Professor Ren’s smile, the heat of his larger body so near to hers. He was just kind. And his body was just _really_ large. No sense in wondering if any of the rest of him was large. She’d be in Finn’s arms in less than fifteen minutes, and hopefully in his pants.

_________________

Or, _not._ Finn was tired when she got to his apartment, kissing her on the forehead and slipping away to take a shower while she made them an early dinner. She cut up some raw chicken for fettuccine alfredo with an absent mind, feeling antsy for some reason. Her body seemed to buzz, _especially_ between her legs, and she felt annoyed with herself. She wasn't sex-starved anymore, she thought in annoyance at the stupid organ. She’d been laid _plenty_ of times in the last three days. She even orgasmed twice, and she was pretty sure she was close to one last night when she’d been riding him. But he’d finished first and she felt bad for exhausting him further, so she just let it go.

But now, for some reason, that needy little buzz was calling her attention again. She _could_ join Finn in the shower, but they’d always ended up fumbling around and it was never satisfying. Plus, he was tired. Again.

Chewing on her lip, she wondered how long Finn was going to shower for. She did have a vibrator in his nightstand, although she wasn't sure if she’d charged it since the other night. She had used it for clitorial stimulation while he fucked her from behind and it was the second orgasm she’d had for the weekend, so she’d sort of passed out immediately after. Clenching her thighs, she wondered how fast she could get herself there with just her hands.

Setting the chicken to simmer on low and washing her hands, she stopped by the bathroom on the way into the bedroom, taking a moment to listen at the door. It wasn't like she could tell how much longer he’d be just by listening, but it still offered her a modicum of comfort to at least know he was still in there. Maybe if he walked in on her, he’d offer to help out?

Deciding to run with that fantasy, Rey crawled into his bed, taking a moment to inhale his scent. She rolled onto her stomach and slipped a hand into her leggings, surprised to find how wet she already was. She undulated her clit over the palm of her hand while she entered herself with two fingers, giving a tiny cry at the sensation.

Finn would walk in, towel around his waist and still dripping wet, and see her. He’d be silent, though, and maybe watch her for a minute. And then he’d slowly approach her and grab the waist of her leggings, pulling them down so he could watch what she was doing. His dark eyes would go even darker, his pouting lips parted as he watched her stimulate herself before sliding his hand over hers, joining her motions. He would slide a finger into her, too, his so pale and long…

Rey froze. Whose hand was she imagining? It didn't take her mind more than half a second to conjure the image of Professor Ren, to see _his_ dark eyes and _his_ pouting mouth. And his hands, with his long, _long_ fingers. She could feel her cunt clench to think of his fingers inside of her and she decided to banish away any guilt for getting off to the idea of another man. It wasn't like she’d ever act on it. Fantasies were completely normal. She loved Finn. She just...needed some new material.

Burying her face in the bed below, she thrust into herself picturing Professor Ren staring at her, his fingers gently pulling hers away so he could have unlimited access to her. He would pull her hips back, her arse up in the air, and he would...he would…

Rey cried out a bit louder to imagine him leaning forward to _taste_ her. Finn never...she moaned thinking about Professor Ren’s full mouth working on her, his tongue sliding between her folds, his lips closing around her clit and sucking it in. Holy shit was she close now. She imagined him thrusting his tongue into her while his fingers relentlessly rubbed at her aching bundle of nerves, and finally, fuck, YES! She finally came.

Rey collapsed onto the bed, panting heavily as she felt herself seep out into her hand. She whimpered softly as she pulled it away, wiping it on the bed before it came to lay up by her face. Fuck, that was...intense. She could feel the thick slickness still pouring out of her, her body still floating.

And then she heard the shower shut off. And then the guilt set in. Feeling awful for getting off thinking of someone who was _not_ Finn, she scrambled off the bed and tried to run as silently as possible into the kitchen, giving her hands another thorough washing before resuming her cooking. Her heart raced all the while, a new jittery feeling setting in. Would Finn know? Could he read it on her face? When he padded into the kitchen and pressed a kiss to her cheek, she tried to smile normally and forced her voice to sound level as she told him that dinner would be done soon.

Oh god, she was the worst girlfriend ever, wasn’t she?

_____________

When he saw her the next time, it was in the common area. He'd decided to take it as a shortcut to get to his office. The next thing he noticed, was that she wasn't alone. Jessika was with her. He should just ignore them, and let them study for their upcoming finals. He knew how hectic of a time it was around the university. Most students were living on energy drinks, much like himself, and running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

The other half were perpetually hungover, having chosen the time to party instead of study.

But...he did have a paper to hand back that he'd missed at the last class, and while he didn't have any scheduled for today, he wanted to give it to Jessika so that she could be prepared. He was a fair instructor. He didn't let their time spent outside of the lecture hall have any sway over her grades. Kylo was just as hard on her as he was every other student. While they may have just been using each other for their bodies, he did want to see her succeed.

Digging into his bag, he plucked the paper out and moved to the table they were huddled together at, sliding it over to the darker haired girl. “Miss Pava. Rey,” he greeted. He didn't know Rey’s last name.

Jessika perked up immediately, a bright smile on her pretty face as she leapt up. “Ky--Professor Ren!” she mentally slapped herself. It wasn't _weird_ to call professors by their first name. Most preferred it. Maybe Rey wouldn’t notice her horrible attempt at a cover up.

Rey, meanwhile, was too busy being embarrassed by the fantasy she’d accidentally had about him two weeks ago...and the ones she’d had on purpose ever since. The guilty feeling in her heart whenever she finished was awful, but it was quickly becoming her only way to get off in the first place, and no one needed the stress of not getting to orgasm on top of finals stress. Besides, Finn was back to being extra busy, so it wasn’t like he was much help. And she always did study better after an orgasm.

Eyes narrowing at Jessika know warning, he said, “Your latest paper. I wanted to make sure you had it back to study.” He fought the urge to look at Rey, who was suddenly looking anywhere but at him. Strange, she'd been able to meet his eyes easily the last time they'd spoken.

He hadn't dared breathe a word to anyone, especially to Jess about how many times he'd jerked off to the thought of the girl beside her. He’d been meeting with Jess less and less frequently, and he had a feeling that soon, he wouldn't be meeting with her at all. He had nothing to replace her with, but the idea that he was fantasizing about someone else while he'd fucked her had sat wrongly with him.

“Thanks, Professor Ren,” Jessika said, taking the paper from him. She sighed as she looked at the marks. Both hard on her _and_ in her. He was going to be the death of her pussy and her GPA. “Could we maybe meet in your office later? I wanted to discuss how I can approve my final story before finals.” It was partially true, of course. They would discuss her writing _after_ he bent her over and had his way with her. She knew that the convenience of their affair was coming to its end and she wasn't ready to let go quite yet.

“Of course,” he replied, still watching Rey. She still hadn't spoken to him, and he felt just a bit miffed. “Anyway, I'll leave you two alone now. Two works for me, Miss Pava.” Nodding once to her, he turned around and headed to his office to actually get some work done before she showed up.

Jessika settled back down, happier now that she knew she was getting laid in the next hour and a half. She then glanced at Rey, taking in her odd expression.

“What’s up, girl?” Jessika asked. “You didn't even say anything to Professor Ren. And he even remembered your name.” She ignored that useless stab of jealousy again.

“Huh? Oh. I just...he’s your professor, not mine. I don't have anything to talk about with him,” Rey replied, chewing her lip as she tried to focus on the last thing she had highlighted. Damn, almost the entire page was highlighted. This was useless.

“Didn't you just sign up for his class next semester?” Jessika asked. “He’s the Intro to Modern Poetry professor.”

Rey knew that. She had picked it on purpose. As embarrassed as she was by her nightly (daily...afternoon-ly…) activities, she saw how Jessika had improved under his tutelage and figured if she had to take one last English credit, this one wouldn't be so bad. It helped to have a professor who was nice to look at, right? After all, that had helped in the appeal of Professor Dameron’s class.

“Yeah, I guess so,” Rey shrugged.

“Well, you can come to me if you have any questions. I know all about his poetry preferences,” Jessika offered. She had seen some of it once before, when clearing away his desk. After they’d fucked, she requested a reading, which he obliged after some more coaxing. It had been beautiful, really. It was almost too bad she didn’t see a serious future with him, he would at least make a loving boyfriend. But he was a professor at her university and she would probably fall out of interest with him come her graduation next year.

“Thanks, Jess,” Rey replied, relaxing a bit. It would be fine. Finn would...he would find some time for her again and everything would be just fine.


	4. Chapter 4

Tucking his shirt back into his slacks, Kylo glanced over at where Jess was redressing after their latest fuck. He'd had her pressed against the wall by one of the bookshelves, eyes settled on watching himself slide in and out.

Now, he had to break things off with her for good. “Jess, we can't do this anymore,” he said, fastening his leather belt.

Jessika slid her panties back up her legs, glad he had worn a condom like always to keep cleanup to a minimum. “What, you thinking of replacing me or something? I’ll have time between classes next semester, you know I’ll come when you say.” She grinned seductively at the double meaning of her words.

“No, that's not the reason,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I can't keep taking advantage of you like--”

He broke off as the door opened. Hadn't he locked it? Apparently not. Fuck, he was so screwed, and not in a good way. “Take advantage of her like what?” his father asked as he surveyed them both. It wasn't hard to figure out what had happened. Jess’ hair was still messed up, her face flushed and sexed out.

Han was an Archeology professor, and as he stepped into the room, shutting the door behind him, Kylo groaned internally. This was not going to end well. His father was going to tell his mother and then she'd report him for misconduct and his life would be over. Jessika would probably get off more easily, since his actions would be seen as an abuse of authority.

“Well, fuck,” Jessika muttered quietly, very quickly sliding up her jeans next. “Listen, whoever you are, he hasn’t taken advantage of me at all. If anything, I've been using him. Let’s just...let’s just all act cool and move on with our days, okay? I've got finals to prep for.”

“Listen, I may not be as young as I once was, but I know sex when I see it. This office positively reeks of it, and that's a serious violation of school policy,” Han growled, his face darkening. “I should report you both.”

“Dad,” Kylo said quickly. “This is over. It was the last time. It’s never going to happen again. There's no point in reporting it. It wasn't hurting anyone, and I've never shown her an ounce of favoritism.”

“When your mother finds out…” Han said, shaking his head. “You’re finished.”

Jessika balked at the title of father. Kylo had a parent who worked at the school? She was positive there were no other Professor Ren’s. And what did Kylo’s mom have to do with any of this? Who was she and what could she do?

“C’mon, just be chill! Like Kylo said, this was the last time. And trust me, he was so _not_ showing me any favoritism. Show him my papers, Kylo. You’re the hardest teacher in-- _on_ me.” Jessika winced. Damn her dirty mind for saying that terrible pun out loud.

Making a disgusted look at the slip up, Han narrowed his eyes at her. “You. Get out. Now. Do not breathe a word about this to _anyone_ yet.”

Jessika looked at Kylo for some sort of sign of what to do, but he was looking too pissed off to be much help. Swiping her things from where they’d been dumped on the floor, including her actual final paper that they really _did_ still need to discuss, she scampered away.

Watching Jess leave, he turned his attention back to Han, glowering as he pointed a finger at the older man. “You have _no_ room to talk. You and Mom did the same thing.”

“We most certainly did _not!”_ Han barked, stepping up close. “We at least had the decency to wait until after she graduated! You really couldn't keep it in your pants for one semester? Until she was at least out of your class?”

Kylo laughed, shaking his head. “I've heard the story from Uncle Luke. You two definitely did not wait. From what I heard, you were just as bad, if not worse!”

His father floundered at that, having been caught in a lie. His jaw worked as he fought for words before finally growling, “Fine. I won't tell Leia, but this ends here. No more, or I _will_ tell her. You better be counting your blessings that that girl doesn't report you.”

Feeling a little bit of pressure lift from his shoulders, Kylo sighed, running a hand through his hair. “She won't.” He hoped not anyway. He'd seen Jessika’s jealousy. Was she so petty to tell someone if he wouldn't continue their affair?

____________

 

Jessika sulked miserably, thoroughly annoyed at how things had gone yesterday. She had been hoping to convince Kylo to continue for a little while longer, maybe just until the end of spring semester? He was such a better lay than everyone else on campus and she was reluctant to give that up. Then again, she had heard the Professor Dameron was rumored to sleep with his students from time to time…

“Hey, aren't you going out with Finn tonight?” Jessika asked, watching as Rey flipped through her notes again. She was cuddled up in her bed, comforter around her shoulders as she watched Netflix instead of studying. Shs was too sad.

“Huh? Oh. Um. We were. _Are._ Just...later. Finn pushed it back to later,” Rey replied. “Don’t you have two more finals left? C’mon, Jess, your not studying is making me feel even _more_ nervous.”

Jessika shrugged. “Eh.”

“What’s wrong?” Rey asked.

“I just…” she sighed. “Things ended with the older guy, and I feel like it was too soon. I hadn't even...I just wasn't ready. A girl shouldn't give up cock that good without a fight but I didn't really have a choice.”

“His wife find out?” Rey asked. She was still convinced this mystery guy was married.

“Worse. His _dad._ Who apparently does _not_ approve of him fucking a younger woman.”

“How old can he be that his father still has sway?” Rey asked, nose scrunching in disgust.

“Your father always has sway, trust me,” Jessika asserted. She sighed. “I wasn't in love or anything, but I thought I’d have more time. Gotta prepare myself for the inevitable loss of his dick in me one day. Do it gradually, you know? Knowing we have to stop cold turkey sucks.”

“At least you still have math class boy?” Rey offered with a small smile.

Jessika returned the smile and nodded. “At least I still have math class boy.”

____________

Seeing Jess in class the next day had been awkward. He'd maintained his professionalism toward her, and was perhaps a bit more cold than normal to her. He wanted there to be no doubt that their tryst was over. He could tell she was upset about it, but his hands were tied. It was either continue their casual fucking, which wasn't even exclusive, or get fired. The choice seemed pretty clear.

When the day for finals came around, he'd sat behind his desk while the students wrote their papers, reading a book. He'd occasionally look up to make sure they weren't cheating or texting, but everyone in the class was doing as they should be. He just had to get this class over with and then he wouldn't have to see Jess every other day. Maybe tonight, he'd go to a bar or something to take his mind off the situation. He knew he should work on grading the exam so that he could get final grades posted as soon as possible, but he was usually pretty quick, so he wasn't worried about the time crunch too much.

The students finished one by one, each coming up to his desk to place their papers face down before leaving his class for the last time. When it was Jess’ turn, he met her eyes and nodded once, watching her go.

And that was that.

_____________

 

Rey was nervous as she waited for Finn to come back to his apartment. He’d bailed on her the last few times, but it was the last day of finals and they hadn’t finalized their Christmas break plans. In June, they’d discussed flying to England for Christmas so that she could visit her old foster home, the one from before she’d been adopted and brought to America in middle school by a kindly older couple. But the discussion of this had come and gone and they’d missed the window to buy tickets at a price that didn’t rival their tuition, so Rey was left feeling unsure of what their plans actually were. Would they just stay here like they had for Thanksgiving? Would they maybe go visit her adoptive parents, old and frail now? They could even go see his old foster family, a network of young men he’d always seen as his brothers. But they’d made _no_ plans and she was feeling scared. She wasn’t sure why, but she felt scared.

Finn sighed on the drive back to his apartment, his shoulders heavy with the burden of what he was about to do. Pulling up into his usual parking spot, seeing that Rey was already there, waiting for him, he took in a deep breath to calm his nerves. He still loved Rey, and would always love her, but now it was more like a platonic love, almost brotherly.

He'd been hooking up with Professor Dameron nearly every chance he'd gotten, and while he felt immensely guilty for cheating on Rey, the older man made him happy. He couldn't let this relationship with Rey go on any further. She deserved better. She deserved someone that would love her endlessly and not cheat.

He trudged up the stairs to his apartment and walked in, seeing her on the couch. “Hey,” he said sullenly.

Rey sat up straighter, eyes wide and alert. “Hey, sweetie.” She paused for only a moment before rising and crossing to meet him, searching his eyes as she moved to give him a kiss. It was more of a quick peck, something that was...wrong. Her arms lingered around his shoulders. He hadn’t touched her yet. “Hey?”

“I need to tell you something,” he said, avoiding her eyes. “Maybe you should sit down.” He motioned to the couch after gently prying her arms from his shoulders. He couldn't bear the thought of hurting her more by letting the facade go on for longer than it needed to.

“Oh...okay,” Rey said quietly, that horrible sinking feeling in her stomach and her heart. She felt nauseous. She perched lightly at the edge of the couch, trying to keep the tears from her eyes. There were any number of things Finn could be preparing to tell her. They were fine. He loved her, right?

Inhaling deeply, he rubbed a hand over his face. “I love you, Rey.” He said, pausing. “The thing is...I don't...it’s not like _that_ anymore. I care about you, but you're more like a sister to me.”

She felt like she’d been hit like a truck. What was he saying? Hadn’t they just made love the other day? You didn’t do that with a sister. “I--what? Where is this coming from, Finn? I thought--we?”

Moving to stand in front of her, he crouched down so they were at eye level. “Rey, come on. You've noticed how distant I've been. Don't act like you haven't. The thing is…” he looked down before looking back up at her again. “I've been seeing Poe. We’ve been hooking up. I'm...bi, or gay, I don't really know anymore. But Poe...he makes me feel how it did in the beginning with you. As time went on, it just made me realize what I really needed.” He felt his heart breaking for hurting her like this, but she had a right to know.

Her chest was tight, tears running down her cheeks unchecked. Her breath was coming out in quick pants. She was hyperventilating, she realized. But she didn’t know how to stop it. She didn’t know how to stop _this._ What was Finn saying? Was he leaving her? Were they--over?

“What? Finn--what are you--what?” she managed to get out through her constricting throat. Her head was feeling too light and her vision was beginning to tunnel in. Oh god. What was happening?

“I have to break up with you, sweetie,” he said solemnly. “I can't, in good conscience keep this up. I've been cheating on you. With my professor.” Watching her cry was like a stab in the heart. He just wanted to hug her.

“But I love you?” She whispered. She set her elbows on her knees, resting her forehead in her hands. She felt miserable. She body felt like it was trying to depart from her soul. She was positive that her heart had ripped in a million pieces. “We were--we were going to have a family. Finally. We were supposed to be a family, Finn.” She shook her head, disbelieving. “I forgive you, Finn. I can forgive you cheating on me. We’re fine. We’re fine. It’s fine it’s fine it’s fine.” She couldn’t breathe.

“I love you too, Rey. But not like that. It isn't fine, nothing about this is okay. You know that, right?” He asked, shifting so that he was beside her. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders gently, nearly hesitantly. “You'll always be my peanut, but I can't be your boyfriend.” God, this fucking sucked. “And hey, now you have the chance to find someone who will treat you better.”

She pushed him away from her. She didn’t want him to touch her. She needed him to touch her. She couldn’t breathe. She shook her head. “No. No. I--I have to leave.”

She pushed up from the couch and wavered on her feet. She couldn’t breathe and she couldn’t see, her vision all but blacked out at this point. This wasn’t real. This was a nightmare. She’d wake up and everything would be normal. She just needed to get out of here. She should probably text Jessika. Jessika would know what to do.

“I'm sorry, Rey,” he said, a heavy sadness in his eyes. “I shouldn’t have waited so long. Do you want me to call someone to come get you? I worry about you driving like this…”

“Why do _you_ care? Just--leave me alone,” she hadn’t mean for it come out sounding so _mean_ , but she needed to go. She fumbled for her bag and her keys. She had so much stuff here, she’d have to come back for it. Or maybe Jess would come get it for her? That sounded like a good plan.

Frowning, he gave her a pained look. “I do still care. I never wanted to hurt you.”

“It’s too late for that, Finn.” She finally got ahold of her keys. She squeezed her eyes tightly as she stood at the door, trying to will her breathing to come back to her, to make her head stop swimming and her chest expand again. She knew she shouldn’t drive like this but she didn’t want to give the satisfaction to Finn for being right. It would serve him right if something _did_ happen to her. It would be payback for how much pain she was feeling. If he even did still care.

She shook her head away from that horribly dark thought. No. Don’t even think of Finn at all anymore. Just focus on leaving. She thought about just leaving her key here, right now, but Jessika would need it to come collect her things. She couldn’t come back. She could never come back to the apartment that she’d help make into a home.  

“I hope,” he said, following her to the door. “That maybe one day we might be friends again.” He knew the chances were slim--people almost never remained friends, but he could hope. “I don't want to lose you forever,” he murmured quietly, looking down at his shoes.

Rey inhaled deeply. Finally. She couldn’t say anything, she didn’t trust herself to say anything. She instead she opened the door and didn’t look back.

She somehow made it safely to her car, where she bawled her eyes out on the phone with Jess. Jessika raged for a moment before insisting that Rey stay where she was, she was coming to get her. Which was absolutely fine with Rey, since she wasn’t in the right mind to drive just yet. So instead she cried and cried and cried until Jessika knocked on her window and helped her move from car to car.

“You’re going home to take a shower and then we’re going to the bar. We both deserve to drink this whole week away,” Jessika said.

Rey nodded numbly. That sounded good.

_____________

The inside of the bar was dim, almost cozy. Kylo knew the real reason behind that was to make the setting more intimate and cozy, trying to entice people to buy drinks for someone they'd spotted in the same room. It helped to hide the lewd acts happening in the corner booths, where people pretended they didn't see the woman on her knees sucking some guy off under the table. All in all, it was a really janky bar. But the alcohol was good.

The alcohol was great.

Kylo sat atop one of the stools, nursing some whiskey. He swirled it around in the glass before knocking it back, and promptly given a refill. Apparently he had a look that he'd had a rough day, because the bartender never said anything as she kept making her rounds. If only she knew. Not that she _truly_ cared or anything.

Jessika had picked out their clothes, none of which had ever belonged to Rey or been worn like _this._ Jessika had forced Rey into what was previously used as a pencil skirt for formal presentations to the department, dragged all the way up to directly beneath Rey’s bust so that the skirt barely covered her arse. For a top, Jessika had given her a deep v-neck t-shirt, a bright white that made her tan skin glow. With the top tucked into the skirt, the v dipped right into the waistband of the skirt, leaving the valley between her breasts completely exposed, her black silk bra with lace edging on display. Jessika finished Rey’s look off with a pair of fishnet tights and black platform booties that added a good five inches to her height. The only concession she allowed Rey was to let her keep her hair the same, although she did get to amp up Rey’s makeup to something more “night appropriate”.

Jessika, meanwhile, wore a black tube dress with ruching down the front and back, drawing the eye to her bust and butt. She dressed it with a pair of black opaque tights and some of her own tall black booties, dangling copious amounts of gold necklaces from her neck and arm full of gold bracelets. She’d teased her hair out and did her makeup the same as Rey’s.

“I’m going to get you laid tonight, sweetie. I promise,” Jessika cooed as the two girls shivered their way into the bar. She’d insisted that they could handle the winter-walk without coats. Coats were for quitters.

“Whatever,” Rey mumbled.

The doorman raised his eyebrows at them but allowed them entrance, stamping both of their hands with a dark x. Jessika was already reading for her hand sanitizer, ready to wash away the alcohol blocking mark so that their night could begin. Barring that, of course, she knew that her tits could get them the drinks they desired.

Taking a break from drinking, he'd ordered some water and some food to help absorb the alcohol. Wouldn't do to be so trashed that he couldn't even drive home. Rubbing his face after he was done, he twisted in the chair, simply taking in the scene of the bar one more time. It was nice and quiet, save for the two women who'd just walked in, whispering to each other. He raised his eyebrows at their outfit choices. They... _did_ know this was a bar, right? And not a club?

Jessika chewed her lip for a moment and took in the scene. It was still early, and soon enough this place would be crawling with fellow students ready to drink and forget about the semester past. They just needed to find a spot to be seen and wait. She grabbed Rey’s hand and led her over to a booth, hardly sparing a glance towards one couple who was already far ahead of everyone else on the expected activities for the evening.

“Just sit here, sweetie. I’ll go see if I can get us something to drink,” Jessika said, depositing the girl.

Rey just nodded, slumping in the seat. She had thought this was a good idea but it wasn’t. She wanted to go home. She wanted to cry. She wanted ice cream.

Sensing one of the girls standing beside him, he glanced over at her, doing a double take. That was Jessika. Which meant the other girl was probably Rey. He looked over his shoulder just to make sure. Yep, that was her. Underneath the ungodly amounts of makeup, and and the incredibly risque clothes. It seemed like fate just wanted them all to meet up.

Chuckling under his breath, he turned his head back to Jessika, sipping some of his water before saying, “Fancy seeing you two here. Rough week?”

Jessika shrugged. “It’s not really so much my rough week as it it’s Rey’s. Although the loss of your magnanimous cock did put quite a damper on my finals.” She sighed and leaned on the bar, her ass arched out in a pretty presentation, one of her toes tapping lightly on the floor. She indicated her head towards the booth where she’d left Rey. “She just got her heart ripped apart. Her boyfriend was cheating on her...with a guy.” She lowered her voice, leaning in closer to Kylo. “His _professor._ Imagine that, right?”

“Scandalous,” he agreed with a small smile. “Poor girl, hope she gets through it all right.” He looked her over again. “You're not really trying to get her laid, are you?”

“Of course I am! She’s my bestie!” She frowned. “Their sex life was kinda bleh at the end, go figure, and the poor girl hasn’t had a man make her come in almost a month. It’s my duty as the only love left in her life to make sure she gets off. She needs to erase his memory from her body and start fresh.”

“That sounds like quite the chore,” he said, ordering some more french fries. “I disagree with it, but good luck.” As she ordered their drinks, he paid for them, adding them to his own tab. Sliding a small wink over at Jess, he smirked as he popped another fry into his mouth.

“Thanks, professor. Have a good time tonight,” Jessika said, shooting him a wink of her own and she stole a fry before carrying the drinks away.

He grumbled under his breath before refocusing on his food. It was an absolutely stupid idea to try and get over someone by getting under someone else. He wanted to go chew them out, but he wasn't either one’s professor. He had no right to go over there.

But wait...he wasn't a professor to either one of them at the moment…

Rey drank her ridiculously fruity drink in one long go, stunning Jessika.

“Wow, sweetie. You should...you should slow down just a bit. I know I said we should get wasted and laid, but I don’t want you so wasted that you don’t remember _who_ you lay.” Jessika then shrugged. “But who am I to judge, right? Bottoms up.” She toasted to her friend and swallowed hers down as well. “These were courtesy of Professor Ren, by the way. Can you imagine that? Running into a professor in a seedy college bar?”

Rey blinked, considering Jessika’s words. Professor Ren. The man who she’d been using to get herself off for a month. The man who would soon be her professor. But he _wasn’t_ her professor right now. Did that mean the rules were off?

“Wait, he bought us drinks?” Rey asked, processing the words fully.

It was too dark for Rey to see Jessika’s blush. “Oh, yeah. I think it was a sort of “good job on the semester” gesture.” She tried to make herself sound nonchalant. No reason for Rey to know the whole story of it. She looked over to where Kylo was still sitting, chewing her lip for a moment. Maybe he would fuck her one last time tonight, as a sort of goodbye thing?

Maybe he was a bit more drunk than he thought, though he felt _fine._ He was a little fuzzy, but not enough to stop him from driving if he needed to. Liquid courage, they called it, and liquid courage it was. He stood up and wandered over to their table, seating himself down beside Jess as he huffed, having brought his fries with him. He set them down and lounged his legs out under the table, looking back and forth between the two girls before finally settling on Rey. “So, shitty boyfriend, huh?”

Rey glared at Jessika. “Why did you tell _him?_ ” She didn’t need the object of her shameful fantasies knowing how horrible her night had been.

“What? It’s the truth!” Jessika huffed in defense. She stole another fry and smirked at Kylo, slipping her hand under the table to trail along his thigh. Maybe this would work, after all.

“Yeah, shitty boyfriend _indeed_. I guess he’s been fucking some guy behind my back for...I have no idea how long for.” She sighed mournfully, looking down at the table. “We’ve been together since high school. _Were_ together, I mean.”  

Sliding a warning look at Jess, he pushed her hand off of his thigh under the table. He so did not need this right now. He wasn't _actually_ looking to fuck someone, but the company was good. “That's rough,” he offered to Rey, trying to sound like he was listening when he was fighting with Jess’ wandering hand.

A group of guys walked in and Jessika smiled. Fresh meat. She threw Kylo a look as if to say “your loss” as she nudged him to get him out of her way.

“I’ll be right back, sweetie. Gonna go get us some more drinks. Will you watch over her for me, Professor?” Jessika asked sweetly. She adjusted her dress as she stood up, pulling it up a bit at her ass and down a bit at her chest. Might as well show those guys what they’re getting.

“Sure,” he called after Jess, shaking his head as he turned away. “She really is something else.” Leaning forward, he placed his elbow on the table and rested his chin in his hand, watching Rey lazily. “So which professor is your ex fucking?”

Rey opened her mouth to reply and then shut it, a stupid sense of loyalty and those lingering feeling of love, _god did she love Finn so much,_ keeping her from spilling the beans. “I can’t tell you, you’re a professor, too. I may hate them both to the depths of my soul but...but I could never ruin their lives like that.”

“I'm not a life-ruiner, Rey,” he told her earnestly. “Well, I try not to be. I have my own faults.” His eyes settled on her lips, watching the way they moved as she struggled to find words to say.

Rey chewed her lip, considering what she knew of this man. Jess seemed to really like him, so maybe he could be trusted? “It was--it was Professor Dameron.”

He slapped his hand against the table, growling, “I knew it! Fucking Dameron.” He slumped back into the booth, pursing his lips. “I won't tell anyone, stop looking at me like that. I've had my fair share of fucking a student, too.”

“You!?” Rey gasped. She was beginning to feel the alcohol buzz through her. When was the last time she ate? She glanced at his fries but felt her stomach turn at the thought of them. Okay, not ready to eat yet. “I can’t believe you fucked a student.” She then thought for a moment. “Actually, yes I can. You’re pretty sexy.”

Laughing, his head thrown back, his entire body shook. “Oh my, you're drunker than I thought. I'm _not_ sexy. Sorry to disappoint. But yes, I have had my own share. Just one.”

“ _One?_ I’m sorry to argue, but you’re far too sexy to have just shagged _one_ student. What was she, the love of your life or something?” Rey asked. The buzz was feeling wonderful. She almost forgot about the ache permeating through her whole body.

“Hardly. I've never been in love,” he admitted after a while, poking at his fries. “Don't have time for it.”

Rey sighed, slouching in the booth. For a moment she glanced down to see how her motion had pressed her boobs up. It made it look like she actually had some.

“Don’t do it. It’s awful. They just cheat on you,” she grumbled sadly.

Following her line of sight, he stared at the tops of her breasts, eyes wide before he finally pulled them away. Her bra definitely wasn't hot pink today. Black had always been his favorite. “What I don't understand is that Jess thinks that getting you to fuck some other guy is supposed to make you forget one? I can already tell you it doesn't work. And on top of that, she ditches you.”

Rey suddenly felt defensive of her best friend, glaring across the table at this know-it-all professor. “She’s just looking out for me. And she didn’t _ditch_ me, she went to go get us drinks. _And_ she made sure I was safe, with you!”

Kylo’s gaze turned predatory, intense as he leaned forward, eyes locked on hers. “Are you really?” Maybe it was slightly creepy to say, but he let his eyes travel back to her chest, and the move alone was definitely suggestive.

Rey licked her lip, pulling it in for her teeth to grasp at. She sat up straighter and leaned over, the view of her cleavage changing to something a bit more _obvious_ as she squeezed them together with her arms. She thought he was cute. Sexy, even. And was it really that bad to just fuck someone? That’s what Finn had done, after all. He went and fucked someone else for months. Surely she could just have a little one night stand with a professor. What was so wrong with that? She knew this guy, at least somewhat, and knew he was trustworthy enough. And she thought of Jessika’s words from months ago, of fucking someone who was massive and knew how to satisfy. Someone who went down on her. She deserved that. And Professor Ren looked like he would do that for her. She hoped. God, she hoped.

“You tell me,” Rey purred, her low voice nearly lost to the loud music that started playing. The bar was filling up, fast, and the students would be rowdy soon. One of the students she’d seen in a gen-ed class was beginning to play some sort of remix to a song from the radio that she hated, but the alcohol was buzzing in her blood and she didn’t care.

While the thought of bending her over and ramming himself deeply inside her made a shudder roll through him, he _had_ just gotten in trouble for fucking Jessika. That and they were best friends. He didn't really need to be accused of bed hopping. Sighing, he relaxed back, trying to fight his hard on under the table. “I...don't think Jessika would appreciate that,” he said gruffly, replaying the memory of Rey licking her lips. If she could just lick somewhere else…

Rey’s brow furrowed. “What? Why would Jess care? She’ll find her own thing to do tonight, she won’t be mad if we leave.”

She felt a familiar pange of jealousy. Everyone had always looked at Jessika before her. It wasn’t like she was surprised; Jessika was better...developed than she was. Ever since they hit puberty, Jessika was always the more sought after of the two. Even though Jess would never pursue someone Rey was interested in (she’d happily backed off Finn the moment Rey expressed an interest) it was still hard to know that she was the second option.

“She was my one,” he shrugged. “I had no idea it would come to this. I had to end things with her because we got caught. It wouldn't do for me to just pick right back up with someone else. It's not that you aren't pretty or anything, Rey. You're fucking gorgeous. But I really like my job, and I want to keep it.” He really didn't want to get stuck in a squabble between two self-conscious women, either.

“What?” Rey asked, not having heard him over the music. She only picked up something about her being...had he said gorgeous? And something about his job? She waved her hand at the matter, her heart pitter-pattering at the idea of him thinking she was attractive. “Professor Ren, I’m not going to tell anyone. It can just be for tonight.” She hoped she wasn’t sounding to desperate as she added, “ _please?_ ” She licked her lip in anticipation, her eyes doe-large and hopeful.

This was a bad idea. This was a horrible, awful, terrible idea. He was sucked in by a pair of pretty eyes, and after hearing about how awful of a day she'd had, she needed _something._ “Fine,” he sighed, leaning forward across the table again. “Let me at least finish my fries first. And you _can’t_ tell anyone. Not even Jessika. So we’re going to sit here and enjoy ourselves, and not speak of the matter until your friend is ready to go, and then once she's safe somewhere, _then_ you and I can...hook up. Do you understand?”

Rey nodded, obedient. She knew she couldn’t push whatever boundaries he presented if she wanted to do this, and she _wanted_ to do this. There was a small logical part of here that said she was being ridiculous and hasty, that this wasn’t the healthy way to heal after how horrible her day had been. But her heart was aching and she was sad and Jessika was heading their way with more drinks and two guys and she felt like this _may_ help.

“Hey sweetie! Look what I found!” Jessika said happily. “Hey, Kylo, move.” She nodded to the space next to Rey, wanting to sit between her new findings. The one she’d picked out for Rey, a cute blonde guy, would surely appreciate taking in her attributes from across the table rather than awkwardly next to her. She noted with appreciation that the bra she’d lent Rey had made her boobs look awesome while she was sitting. This was going to be perfect.

Scooting over until he and Rey were touching from shoulder to shoulder (shoulder to arm, really), and down the line of their bodies to hip and knee, he cleared his throat before leaning in to whisper in Rey’s ear. “Looks like you get your choice of contender tonight,” he said, nodding to the two men. It would only hurt his ego just a little if Rey wanted to bang one of them instead, but maybe it would be for the better.

“I already picked,” Rey replied quietly, looking up at him.

“Rey, look, _drinks!_ ” Jessika enthused, sliding a drink towards her. “Sorry, Kylo. I forgot to get one for you, too. But these nice gentlemen were just _so_ sweet to buy us some drinks, I couldn’t imagine asking them to get one for you, too.”

The guy to Jessika’s right looked Kylo up and down, as if trying to place where he knew him from and if he was some sort of a threat. The one on her left was too busy staring at Rey, his mind already planning what he was going to do to the tiny girl. Jessika had said her friend needed some _help_ tonight and he agreed to it for the sake of his bro, who was going to bust a nut just by looking at the hot girl in her tiny little dress who he’d been trying to lay all semester long. But now he knew that the girl wasn’t even a grenade and he was looking forward to fucking her. Damn, bro’s were the best.   

Kylo raised an eyebrow, making a sweeping gesture of his own with his eyes, looking up and down at the one who'd been eyeing up Rey. He didn't like that look. The girl was vulnerable right now and she really didn't need some fucking frat boy trying to shove his dick into any hole he could. Jessika could handle herself, he knew, but something inside him felt a little protective of Rey. It was just because she had her heart broken and she was drunk, and he was doing her a favor. At least he hoped that was why.

“Thanks for the drink,” Rey said, shooting them both a quick smile. It was another fruity thing, a martini. She had to be good and drink this slowly, lest someone notice how quickly she consumed it. She wanted to feel that buzz for a while. It was helping heal her aching heart.

“They’re both seniors,” Jessika supplied helpfully, taking a sip of her long island. “A math major and a...um...what we were you again, sweetie?” She asked, looking at the guy she’d picked out for Rey.

“I’m going to be a personal trainer,” he stated proudly. He glared at the guy sitting next to his girl and flexed his chest and arms.

“Oh Jesus Christ,” Kylo started chuckling, doing his best to cover his mouth with his hand. When his damn near giggling had calmed down, he looked to Jessika and raised his eyebrows. “Are you serious? This idiot was the best you could find for Rey? He's so full of steroids that his dick is probably as long as a tuna can.” Wrapping a protective arm around Rey’s shoulders, he shook his head. “Next. Go find another.”

Jessika’s eyebrows shot up at that. “Excuse you? Who are you to decide what is best for _my_ bestie? I know what I’m doing here.” She looked pointedly at the blonde, rolling her eyes in Kylo’s direction. “This _asshole_ over here thinks he’s helping her better than you could.”

“Oh yeah?” The blonde guy said, immediately rising up. “I’d like to see him _try._ And you should know, _bro,_ that I don’t need steroids. I got these babies from lots of hard work. And I _know_ how to work a lady.”

“You know what? How to work a lady into boredom while you do the good old in and out?” Kylo asked, staying seated. Turning to Rey, he tilted his head at her before nodding back to the blonde, “What do _you_ think? You wanna take him for a spin?”

Rey shook her head vigorously, earning a scoff from Jessika and a positively offended look from the bro.

“Whatever. Bitch,” he said. “Fuck that one all you want, dude, but I’m out with this frigid bitch.”

“Groovy,” Kylo chuckled, doing his best Ash impersonation. Okay, he was definitely a little drunk. But it was a good drunk. He felt light and calm. And fuck, did Rey smell good, pressed under his arm like she was.

“Rey!” Jessika gasped. “And fuck you, Kylo! Your services are no longer _needed_ , in case you didn’t notice!”

“Jess, he was ridiculous,” Rey argued.

Kylo pretended to pout, sticking out his lower lip. “Jess doesn't want my mixtape anymore.” He was still intentionally insulting that blonde guy.

Rey giggled, unable to help it. Jessika just rolled her eyes.

“Whatever.” Jessika looked at her guy, who seemed like he was ready to fuck her no matter what his friend was doing. “These two are a lost fucking cause. Are you ready to go?”

“Hells yes!” The guy said, nearly pushing her out of the booth so he could get his dick wet. _Finally_. He’d heard nothing but good things about this girl and he was excited to find the truth out for himself.

Jessika placed her hands on the table, looming over at Kylo. “Don’t be a dick, and make sure she gets home okay, alright? I’m trusting her with you. Don’t cockblock her all night long.” She looked at Rey, her expression softening. “Are you going to be okay if I go, sweetie? You don’t have to stay with this _monster_ over here.”

Rey nodded. “I’m good, Jess. Go have fun.”

Jessika stood back up and looked unsure for a moment. But she knew Kylo, and she trusted Kylo, and she knew she could trust Kylo to make sure Rey was okay. He’d always been so good with her after all...nevermind the fact that their time together was mostly just spent fucking. But he wouldn’t fuck Rey. He always claimed to have a moral compass, and he _had_ been threatened by his father to cut it out. She felt confident that Kylo wasn’t going to whisk Rey away to fuck her selfishly. He thought the same-night rebound-sex was deplorable, after all. He wouldn’t fuck Rey. Rey was safe.

“Goodnight, sweetie,” Jessika said, finally allowing herself to be led away from the table.

“Use protection, Jess!” he called after her, smirking slightly. Sighing, he popped another fry into his mouth. He'd gotten so caught up in the drama of the bros that his food had gone cold. Damn it. “I’ll drive you back home myself, if you want me to. I don't imagine you took two cars to get here?” he asked Rey, looking down at her. She was so warm against him, and so tiny. How was she so tiny?

“She’ll probably take him back to our room,” Rey bemoaned, finally finishing her drink off in one gulp. For good measure, she reached across the table and finished Jessika’s, too.

“Easy, there, I said I'd help you out, but I do want you conscious enough to be able to make a decision,” He pushed some of his fries at her. “Eat,” he commanded.

She rolled her eyes, pushing the cold fries away from her. “Oh trust me, I’m plenty conscious. I can hold my alcohol well, despite my size.” She turned more fully on him, eyes dark. “But I would like to leave now.”

“Are you sure?” he asked. “Are you really sure you want to do this...with _me?_ ” His own eyes darkened in response to the look on her face, and suddenly, he was taking her hand, helping her out of the booth, making a pit stop up at the bar to pay the tab. Tucking his wallet back into his pants, he walked beside her, shoulder to shoulder, as he gently steered her towards his car, where it was parked around the side of the building.

Rey could feel her heart hammering as she slid into his car. How much money did professors even _make?_ This was _way_ too nice of a car for a college teacher. Weird. As they drove, she checked her phone. There was a text from Jessika, the address of where ever the dude-bro she took off with lived. And then there were texts from--

Rey threw her phone in her purse. Fuck Finn. Why did he have to text her? What was the point in him “checking up on her”.

“Why does he want to know if I’m okay? Of _course_ I’m not okay! I just found out the man I had planned to _marry_ since I was fucking sixteen was cheating on me! He told me he thought of me like a sister! We _just_ had sex the other...week, and he said I’m like his _sister?_ ” Rey raged, fists shaking as she willed herself not to look at her phone.

“That was a really shitty thing for him to do,” he commented, glancing over at her in the passenger's seat as he drove under the street lamps. “I don't...exactly know where I'm going. I mean, I could get a hotel, or I could take you back to my house…” he trailed off, glancing over at her, frowning faintly. Was she sure this was what she wanted?”

“Your house,” Rey replied instantly. “I’m sorry, I’ll stop complaining about it. I know that’s not--not what you want to hear from a hookup.”

Actually, she doesn’t know that, because she’s never done this before. But she can only assume that this isn’t proper etiquette. He probably didn’t love that she was using him to simply get over her terrible breakup. Then again, it wasn’t like he didn’t know that, so he couldn’t be that hung up over it. She only hoped he wouldn’t think too much about her confession that she’d been with Finn since she was sixteen. Jess had told her that guys got weirded out by virgins and girls who only slept with one guy, said it made them feel like there were “unnecessary expectations” placed on them.

“I don't mind,” he said honestly. “Let it all out. Tell me how you really feel, if it makes you feel better. I knew what I was getting into when I offered my services, so by all means, tell me what made this guy so great and how you feel now. And then after you're done, I'll do my best to make you feel just a little bit better.” He shrugged, giving her an encouraging smile.

He'd been surprised that she wanted to go back to his house. She didn't really know him, after all. They'd had a few conversations, a few laughs--he could still be a serial killer, too. He just hoped his house was clean enough for her to not be put off on the idea of sex.

Rey chewed her lip, looking at her hands. “He--he was a lot like me and I guess you can say that we were kindred spirits? We have a similar, um, family history, so it always felt easy with him. No awkward questions, no pitying looks. Just recognition. And he was always so sweet to me for years, was always kind and doting and looked after me and made me feel loved like no one ever had…” she broke off, feeling a sob building in her chest. “And I _thought_ we were going to get married when I graduated. That was always the plan, at least. I’d graduate college and we’d get married and start a family of our own. So we could finally _have_ a family.” She sniffled, doing her best to keep her tears from spilling over. Fuck. This was _not_ how you seduced someone.

“Anyway,” she hastened to continue, “he was always the kindest guy to me and did all the nicest things for me and I was just so willing to overlook everything that was happening this semester because we had history together, and he wouldn’t...I was so sure he wasn’t going to leave me. And now to hear that I wasn’t making him happy, that someone else was the whole time, it just...it sucks, you know? I thought he loved me, he told me that for years and years, always promised to take care of me forever, and then I hear that I wasn’t even making him happy.”

Now she _definitely_ didn’t feel bad for getting off thinking about Kylo. At least she hadn’t gone and fucked him while they were still together.

He listened quietly as she spoke, nodding along in certain places, shaking his head in others. “Okay, first. Guys are assholes. I will tell you that, straight up. Secondly, this guy in particular, did an extremely dick-move. Cheating is not acceptable, no matter the circumstance or reason. At least have the common decency to break up with someone before you start fucking someone else.” Huffing, he finally pulled into his own driveway, and killed the engine, until it was just the two of them sitting in the dark. “That being said, he _does_ have history with you. I doubt he can just throw all that away. So, hear me out,” he said, raising his hands defensively. “What if he does still love you, but it’s just not romantic love? What if he does still want to take care of you? Just not sexually?”

Rey glared at him. She was not at all ready to hear something as practical as _that._ Especially since she still loved Finn romantically, sexually, every possible way. She may hate him, may want to never see him again, but she still loved him. Nothing would ever change that, she knew. He was her first love, the guy she lost her virginity to and the first guy she ever imagined marrying. You don’t just simply fall out of love with him because he...suddenly starts fucking his professor. And how in the world could he still take care of her? She knew Finn. When he loved, he put everything into it (or, so she thought, she supposed). He wouldn’t make time for her in his life now that he had...he had...fuck.

“Whatever,” she muttered darkly, curling in on herself defensively.

“Or not, that's cool too. We can sit here and bitch about this guy. I don't even know him, but I bet his feet stank,” he said, trying to at least get a smile out of her as he searched her face with hopeful eyes.

Rey tried her hide her laugh but it was useless. He saw. She couldn’t help but give in to this teeny, tiny little bit of joy. “Yeah...they were pretty bad.” She uncurled and unclicked her belt, glancing up at his house. Oh go figure, this was nice, _too._ Damn, maybe she should switch career paths and become a college professor. “I’ll behave now.”

Lifting one hand to her chin, he turned her face toward him so that he could see her better. One half was illuminated by a street lamp, the other plunged into shadow. “What if I don't want you to behave?” he asked quietly, the words filling the air between them with a vibrating energy.

Rey felt a shiver pass through her body, the air sucked out of her body. She could feel the buzz of the alcohol flow into the buzz of arousal, her mind clouding past everything else. Feeling bold, she leaned up, pausing when her lips were just a hair's width away from his. “I will show you how bad I can be, then.”  

Surging forward, he claimed her mouth with a bruising kiss, reaching up to cup the side of her face. He was more than content to just sit in his car for a while and make out in his driveway, honestly. She tasted fucking _divine._ And he didn't think it was from any flavored lip gloss, either. He captured her lip between his teeth and gave a tug before letting go and plunging back in to learn every crevice of her mouth with startling efficiency.

Rey moaned into his mouth, her eyes sliding shut and her body falling the rest of the way forward to press against him. Fuck, was _this_ what it was like to kiss someone with so much...passion? Finn never kissed her like this, not at least since they were teenagers. And even then it was nothing but a mess of lips and tongues, the insecurity of not knowing what to do mixed with an eagerness to figure it out. She forbade herself from wondering if his first kiss with Poe was anything like this. There was no more Finn, and Poe didn’t exist at all. There was just her and Kylo and this car. And soon to be his bed.

“Fuck, Professor Ren,” she purred when they broke apart, feeling his lips gliding across her jaw. She carded her hands through his hair and fuuuuuuck it was soft. How was his hair this soft? Not even her hair was this soft. Damn.

Trailing his lips over her smooth skin, he hummed in response, “Hmm?” She tasted even better, and he found himself wanting more wanting to see if she tasted this good on every inch of her body. Finding a thin spot on her neck, he sucked a bruise into it, soothing it with his tongue shortly after. Finally pulling back, panting for breath, he looked at her intensely, eyes dropping down to her mouth again, “I want you. Now. Tonight.” His blood rushed through his ears, drowning out the words, and he was suddenly fighting back the overwhelming desire to kiss her again. Her mouth just fit against his so perfectly. And the way she called him Professor...god that was fucking hot.

“Let’s go inside?” Rey suggested, panting a little. Her body felt like it was on fire and her heart was thumping like mad and there was a heat between her thighs. As she pressed her thighs together, she realized that her flimsy underwear was _drenched_ and her skirt was in danger of riding up high enough for him to see. If she just moved a tiny bit more, he would see them. Would he know how wet she was for him? How wet she’d _been_ for him this last month? Damn, it was lucky that Jess was a student he liked enough to buy a drink.

Nodding like he was in a haze, he got out of the car, moving around to let her out as well. He felt just slightly awkward as he led her up the sidewalk to his front door, but she didn't want awkward, it seemed. She wanted something that wouldn't give her time to think about anything else but the feeling of him pressed against her, working her body in ways he just _knew_ her ex never had.

Kylo opened his door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, we won't lie to you guys. We almost just gave up and deleted this whole thing when we saw the majority of the responses. We were tempted to just keep this to ourselves because we love what we wrote, we're proud of it, and then we shared it and the responses were...less than encouraging, to say the least. We understand that it's not fun to read another pairing, you have no idea how it felt for us WRITING it, but we didn't need the heaps upon heaps of negativity. It's very discouraging. We tried to be as upfront as possible when we tagged this, we gave as much warning as we thought was necessary, and still...  
> So, here, we spam-posted today so we could give you guys what you wanted. And now we're going to need some time together to recover.  
> Those of you who showed your support, you're who kept us going. We hope you know how much your words of encouragement meant to us and this is all dedicated to you. Thanks for talking us off of that delete-ledge. We're forever grateful <3


	5. Chapter 5

Shutting the door softly behind them, Kylo grabbed Rey by the waist and spun her, pushing her back up against the nearest wall as he crowded her, keeping her pinned with his hips as he pulled her hands above her head, holding them securely in one of his larger ones. He kissed her again, deep and thorough, his free hand sliding around to clutch at her waist, pulling her lower half against him as he pushed back.

Rey whimpered in his hold, grinding herself against him. She froze suddenly, feeling his hot, hard length against her soft belly.

“Holy shit, is that...is that all you?” She gasped, looking up at him in surprise. She had always thought Finn was generously endowed but this...fuck. She blinked down at where their bodies were aligned and had the horrifying thought that he would definitely not fit inside of her. She groaned at that thought, at not being able to accept all of him inside of body. She would sure as hell try, though.

Confused, he tilted his head at her for a moment before understanding dawned and he gave a small smile. “Yeah,” He didn't want to scare her off or anything, but...he knew he was big all over. “Let me know if you change your mind,” he whispered against her jaw, licking a gentle line along the edge before he pulled back and flipped her again so that her chest was pressed to the wall.

He pulled the zipper down on the pencil skirt, opening it wide as he slid it down her body until it pooled at her feet. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against the line of her shoulder as his hand curved over her ass, stroking softly.

“I want this,” she panted, pressing her arse back into him. She was wearing a pair of black silk panties, a cheeky cut that exposed so much of her arse that it may as well had been a thong, her fishnets cutting gentle criss-cross patterns across the skin. But she liked the way it flattered the shape of her and she hoped he liked it, too. Finn had always liked--

 _No._ She wasn’t going to think of Finn anymore. Not with Kylo’s hands on her hips, his lips on brushing her shoulder through her shirt, and his cock dangerously close to her arse. She wriggled back, searching for it, needing to feel it against her. She moved her hands to her waist and grabbed Jessika’s shirt, throwing it over her head. Only three articles of clothing left. He had on entirely too many.

“I need to feel you. Please,” she whimpered, her voice near a whine.

Fuck, he'd need to grab a condom before it got too late. As much as he loved the way she looked with her ass sticking out like a cat in heat, he reached for her hand and led her along through the house, walking backwards so that he could admire her clothing, or lack thereof. He brought her up the stairs, his hand gentle on hers, steadying her in case she tripped in the heels. Those were so impractical.

He nudged open the door to his room and went to open the curtains, allowing the moon to shine in, casting everything in a bluish light. He turned then and slipped his jacket off, tossing it into the corner of the room. He undid the buttons of his shirt quickly, pulling the front open when he was done as he slid the shirt off his shoulders.

He could sense that she wasn't quite satisfied with that, though, and he ducked his head, his hair falling across his eyes as he unbuckled his belt and popped the button on his pants, stepping out of them quickly until he was in nothing but his boxers. Holding her eyes, he hooked his thumbs into the waistband and dragged them down, stepping out of them as well.

Kylo stood there for a moment, letting her take him in before he moved forward and pushed her back against the bed, lying lightly across the top of her body as he kissed her again.

The way Rey saw it, she had two options with what remained of her clothing: peel it off slowly and attempt to look appealing, or rip it all away and just go for it. She settled on a mix of both. She didn’t care about the fishnets, they were cheap, even for college student’s standards, so she didn’t mourn their loss when she dug her claws into the waistband and heard the satisfying _rip_. She tugged at the pieces in her hand absently, lost in his kisses as she attempted to tear as much of it away as possible. She kissed down his throat as she pressed up on her elbows, reaching back for the band of her bra.

She hesitated as she fiddled with the hooks. She knew the bra was a bit deceiving. Would he remember how small her chest was the first time they met? She had a sudden flash on hot pink in her mind and she blushed. Oh yeah, he probably _saw_ her bra that time, because he’d spilled coffee on her. She hoped he wasn’t disappointed.

Free of her bra, there was only one thing left. She laid back down below him, heart beating hard in her chest as she looked up into his eyes, searching for the meaning in his expression as his gaze moved down her body. She could feel her fishnets still clinging to her thighs and wondered if she should remove them along with her underwear or just...leave them there. They weren’t really in the way, after all.  

Watching her expose the rest of her body to him, he let his eyes drop down to her breasts. They were small, sure, but perfect. She had absolutely nothing to worry about. Meeting her eyes for the briefest moment, he ducked down and flicked his tongue against her nipple before taking it into his mouth, teasing lightly with his tongue and teeth, even as the fingers of one hand slid slowly down her body, taking in her soft flesh, mapping out every dip and curve of her body until he finally found what he was looking for. He stopped his hand against the top of her mound, before lowering his index finger to brush against that sensitive bundle hidden down there.

She gasped and arched into him, her head falling back into the pillows on his incredibly soft bed. She thought immediately of her very first fantasy of him, of thinking of his fingers inside her cunt when she shouldn’t have been thinking that at all. But now she keened to feel his strong fingers against her slick skin, pressing her hips into him to beg him to penetrate her. At some point in her distracted passion, her hand had slipped in his hair again and pressed his mouth more insistently onto her breast.

“Fuck, Professor, that feels so,” she sighed happily, “ _fuck._ ”

Giving a hum of happiness against her breast at her usage of his title, he sucked harder on her, eyes closed, wholly focused on his work as he just let himself _feel_ her. She was everywhere, the sweet scent of her skin hitting his nose, working its way into his mind for him to remember later, when this was all over, her wetness between his fingers as he slid them downward, searching like a wraith. Alternating breasts, he pressed a long, thick finger into her as he administered the same attentions to the other side, sinking in to his knuckle. “You're so tight around my finger,” he murmured against her skin, pulling off for the barest of seconds to ask, “How am I ever going to fit?”

As though he already had the answer, he added a second finger, feeling her body stretch at the intrusion.

“Oh, god!” She moaned, tugging his hair perhaps a bit too hard. She couldn’t believe how long and thick his fingers were, at it was _just_ his fingers. She quivered below him, her lower body undulating in a rhythm she was hardly conscious of, hips rising and falling, rolling all the while in tempo with his hand. She wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or her heartbreak or the fact that this was wrong on several levels or what, but this was the _most_ erotic thing that had ever happened in her life. She’d remember this forever, she was positive. She just had to.

Letting out a groan at her tugs on his hair, he increased the pace of his fingers inside her, shifting his hand to grind his palm against her clit. He _really_ enjoyed having his hair pulled. If he could just get her to...growling softly, he sat back and used his free hand to place on her lower stomach and push her hips back against the bed, forcing her to take the sensations he gave her without moving. As he held her still, he twisted his hand around, his fingers delving deeply as he searched for that one textured spot inside her. “Shhhh,” he murmured gently, his eyes still closed as he found it and dragged the pads of his fingers across it over and over again, adding pressure where he'd gotten the most response. “Shhhh, let me take care of you. Just stop thinking, just... _feel_... _”_

She gasped loudly, a sound teetering between shock, surprise, and delight. She’d never been stimulated like _this_ before and it felt...she couldn’t...She locked her thighs around his arm, her hand shooting down to encircle his wrist. “It’s too much,” she whimpered pitifully. She didn’t want to argue with him, she didn’t want him to think this was a mistake, but, god, she had no idea how to contend with what was happening between her legs. It was so pleasurable it was almost _painful_ and she felt like she was going to combust.

Working her body like he'd known it his whole life, he narrowed in on the quiver of her thighs, the way she protested, and yet somehow held his hand more tightly against her. Kylo worked his fingers faster, adding a third as he pressed his thumb into her clit, rubbing it in a circular motion as he crooked his other fingers harder, giving her the stimulation he thought would send her over the edge. He felt almost manic as she came closer, as her trembling increased and he  watched her come undone from his touch alone.

She was pretty sure she’d drawn blood  with the way her nails were digging into his wrist, but she couldn’t find the mental capacity to spare a thought to that as her orgasm ripped through her body. It was incredible, far more powerful than any she’d ever had by her hand or any other. She always thought of herself as quiet in bed, small moans and gentle words of love. She thought this would be the same, but if at first her face was simply frozen in a silent scream, it quickly worked its way up her throat and she vocalized her pleasure loudly in his quiet house.

Afterwards, however, she was reduced to a quietly mewling mess, her chest heaving as her thighs shook and her abs contracted, the aftershocks rippling through her body. She didn’t even want to consider any other orgasm she’d had in her life so far as anywhere near the level of this one. It was divine, an addicting high. And fuck did she want to feel it again.

Grinning widely, he brought his hand up to his mouth and sucked her wetness off each finger, giving her a soft smile when she was done. “Good girl.”

She was so beautiful, but in the middle of her orgasm, she was truly divine, a goddess sent for him to pleasure. He took pride in taking her mind off of her ex long enough to have an orgasm that powerful, and as he moved around the bed to the nightstand, he pulled a condom out, crawling onto the bed next to her. “Are you ready for more?” he asked, brandishing the little packet at her.

Rey nodded, her voice not quite ready for real words yet. She was a tad bit dismayed at the sight of the condom, she hadn’t had sex involving one in the last two years now (although now she found herself hoping that Finn _had_ in his...extra curricular fuckings) but she also couldn’t imagine having Kylo do her raw. It was far too intimate and trusting. She may trust him enough not to, like, murder her or anything, but she wasn’t sure if she trusted him enough to believe he was clean. He _did_ say he had also fucked a student, although she hadn’t caught who, and he _was_ at least a good handful of years older than she was, plus ridiculously skilled, so he clearly wasn’t inexperienced. Besides, she didn’t need to worry about accidental pregnancy or STD’s on top of a broken heart.

She reached her hand out to take the packet from him and, with hands she tried to will into stillness, she gently rolled it over him. Just as she’d reached for him she brushed her thumb against his tip, catching some of his pre-come, and she brought her hand back up to absently lick it away, her other hand focusing on rolling the rubber down his hot and hard length. He was...good. It was a shame she wouldn’t get the chance to blow him. It was even more of a shame that she wouldn’t get the chance to have him go down on her. Maybe one day someone would do that for her.

He hated wearing condoms--what guy didn't?--but he didn't want kids just yet, maybe ever. But the feeling of her small hands rolling over him had his breath coming in a rush, his cock jerking just a bit further into her hands. Reaching down to make sure it was fitted well, he looked up at her. “What position are you used to?”

She blushed and avoided his gaze. “Oh. Um. The...uh...normal stuff? Missionary...doggy style...um, cowgirl, I think it’s called?”

“What's something you've wanted to try?” He pressed, watching her intensely. He wanted this entire night to be something new for her. No one had made her come that hard just from fingers, and he wasn't going to do the same old positions she was used to that would remind her of...him.

Rey chewed her lip. “Um...I’m not sure? I don’t really...I’m not sure what else there _is_...I guess.” Oh god, this was horrifyingly embarrassing. Jessika’s warning about inexperienced girls rang in her ears and she wanted to run.

He smiled, but not like he was making fun of her. “Alright, that's okay.” Backing off the bed, he reached a hand out to her. “Come here,” he instructed.

Rey looked at his hand nervously, wondering what he was planning to do. She sat up and slowly slid to the edge of the bed, taking his hand and allowing him to pull her up. For a moment she remembered their first contact, when he’d pulled her to his chest and she’d done everything she could to ignore his warmth because it was _wrong_ to think about when she had a perfectly wonderful and loving boyfriend. It was interesting how life had changed since then.

As soon as she was pressed against his chest, he reached down and grabbed her thighs, pulling her up his body until she rested comfortably around his hips, her legs locked around him, arms around his neck as he supported her weight. Leaning up, he whispered against her ear, “I’m going to fuck you like this.” Silently he added that he wanted her to remember him.

Rey’s eyes grew wide and she tightened her hold around his hips, momentarily terrified he’d drop her. How was something like this even possible? It seemed like something that only happened in porn (not that Rey ever watched it to know). But Kylo hardly wavered underneath her weight and she felt like she was barely a burden to him. Maybe this could work?

“Okay,” she finally acquiesced, her voice still tiny and shaky. Although now it was due to anticipation. She could feel the heat of him radiating against her core, and if she wriggled her hips just right, she could begin to--

He slid her down a little bit lower until their bodies met and the tip of his cock began to push inside of her. He held her eyes, trying to read her face for any sign of pain. He went slowly, knowing that this was a new angle, a new dick, and she was a bit out of her comfort zone. She needed a teacher. He could show her. Letting out a rush of air as her body finally, _finally_ , held all of his, he leaned forward and kissed her gently, slowly deepening it as he pulled out and hovered there for a long moment before thrusting back in, his hands on her thighs nearly bruising as he began to move her up and down, encouraging her to find a rhythm that worked for her, too.

She hoped he hadn't seen the tears that sprang to her eyes. He was so _big_ and it was nearly overwhelming to feeling her body slide down onto him. She hissed quietly at the stretch of him, feeling her walls clenching around him already even as she tried to relax and accept him. The condom was making this more difficult, the drag of the rubber redistributing her body's own natural lubricant unevenly. There was a burn to this but she had a feeling that was more from the condom than anything else.

Frowning faintly when he saw that she looked like it didn't feel quite as pleasurable, he paused. “Are you okay? What do you need? I want you comfortable.”

“The slow is kind of killing me. I need it fast,” she admitted into his neck, leaning her forehead onto his strong shoulders. She appreciated that he was trying to be considerate of her adjusting to his size and all, but there was a limit to that. If they drug this out this slow for much longer, she had a feeling she would catch fire.

“Okay,” he breathed, kissing the side of her head where it was pressed to his shoulder. Adjusting her again, he thrusted up into her, his strokes quick and fast like she'd asked. He'd never been this tender with anyone else he'd fucked before, but then again, he'd never really tried to help someone get over a broken heart by letting them use his body. Each time he pushed back into her, the thrust was a little harder, a little more powerful. “Fuck, you feel so good,” he said, his voice strained. She was so snug around him, her cunt gripping him tightly as he pulled away. Fuck, if he could just get rid of the condom and lose himself inside her, he would.

She moaned in earnest now, his thrusts exactly what she needed. Trusting that he had her, she leaned away from him just a bit, tying to adjust the angle of her hips so she could aligned him how she wanted. She felt a shudder rip through her as he hit home and she cried out, her nails digging into his shoulders and her legs twitching around him. “Fuck! Just like that! Oh fuck, _please!_ ” Her thighs fell open just a bit more, trusting fully in his capability to support her, and she cried out a loud _Oh!_ when that drove him even deeper.

Torn between watching her face and looking down between them to watch himself slide in and out of her, he heard his own noises fill the air. Supporting her was still easy, but he was letting out some primal grunts and groans at the feeling of her trusting him like this. Her nails in his back just heightened his pleasure, causing his eyes to slide shut as a tremor ran along his spine. “Come for me, Rey,” he whispered encouragingly to her. “Show me...who makes you...feel...this good…” he said between thrusts, his body truly slamming home into hers now. The slide was easier now, her body completely lubricated with her own slick. He dragged the head of his cock over one spot that had her writhing against him and at the effect it had on her, he pounded against it, lifting his head to watch her again.

“Oh! God! Fuck! Kylo!” She gasped at each thrust, each hit of her g-spot. She could feel the pressure building, she could feel her orgasm rising the temperature all over her body. She was beginning to feel dizzy in the best sort of way and she knew in her heart of hearts that she had _never_ been fucked this good before. “Kylo, I’m going to...to...”

Groaning as he felt her begin to bear down on him, he tightened his hold on her thighs even more, keeping her spread wide. “That's it, come all over my cock,” he said, giving her a couple of his hardest thrusts yet. “Fuck, I'm going to, too…”

“Kylo!” she screamed out as she felt herself finally go, pulling herself back into him as she clung on for dear life. If she had thought her orgasm from his fingers was incredible, this was absolutely beyond words...as was evident by the fact that Rey, currently, had none left to give. She felt oblivious to everything by the rush of endorphins in her body and the sweaty human she was wrapped around, his solid warmth and similarly frantically beating heart the only things keeping her grounded on this plane of existence.

Moaning deeply as he came, filling up the end of the condom, he pressed his forehead to hers, their breaths mingling between them as they came down from their highs. Gently, before her hips started to hurt, he set her down on the bed and pulled out, turning away to take the latex off before it started to fall off. He went into the adjacent bathroom for a quick second to clean up the mess his cock had become from the stupid condom. God, he hated those things.

He brought a pack of baby wipes and set them beside her to use if she wanted. Laying next to her, he propped himself up on his arm, watching her lazily. “Feel any better?”

Rey wasn't entirely sure how to answer that question. Her body felt...incredible wasn't a strong enough word. It felt better than it ever had in her entire life. She’d never been so truly satisfied before. But now...now was when Finn would gather her in his arms and kiss her head and tell her he loved her and she’d love him right back and she would snuggle into his warmth and feel the mixture of them between her legs for just a little while before they both got up together to clean and…

“Yeah. Fantastic, thanks,” Rey replied through a tight throat.

This was a mistake. Her body may feel like it was on a cloud, but her heart felt even heavier. It was empty. This had been meaningless. Kylo didn't care about her beyond the level of a casual acquaintance, soon to be _student_ , who he had just fucked into oblivion. He would probably move on to fucking a new one as soon as the semester started, as one didn’t typically stop at two, not when they were this good and had an endless list of potential lovers. He would never love her like Finn...used to. He would probably forget all about this soon. She’d carry around the shame and guilt of this for the rest of her life but Kylo, Kylo would be able to fall asleep tonight feeling good about himself, because he made a sad girl come pretty damn hard. Which he deserved to feel happy about, she supposed. He did what she asked him to do, she forgot Finn for that last hour and her body was relieved of at least one ache. That was all she deserved at this point.

Hearing how strained her words sounded, he realized he'd probably fucked up somehow. He'd been meaning if she felt a little more weightless, that feeling that came with a good orgasm, but apparently he'd hit a deeper issue. “Hey, come here,” he said softly, lifting one arm so she could scoot closer if she wanted. He knew he couldn't give her that same sense of comfort she'd had with her ex, but he wanted to try. His body was too foreign, probably the wrong size, the texture of his skin too different, but he didn't want to see her cry again, if he could help it.

Even though her heart was screaming at her for _oh so easily_ falling into the arms of another man while still so raw, she nodded and crawled into his waiting embrace, curling her back against his chest and her knees around his. It felt so nice having him wrapped around her and he smelled so good, even after sweating so much from their gratuitous fucking. She could close her eyes and pretend he was someone who loved her. She could feel his heartbeat against her back and she pretended like it was beating for her, like he loved her so much he couldn't stand any inch of his skin not touching hers. She sniffled back her tears as she imagined that the steady breath she felt on her neck was only ever stolen away when she walked into the room, when she’d whisper words of love and devotion. She felt a tear slide free as she imagined Professor Kylo Ren using that wonderfully deep voice of his to utter his _own_ words of love and devotion. It helped...a little.

Admittedly, Kylo wasn't very good at snuggling, but he tried. He'd never really gotten a chance to do it, usually fucking and then kicking the other person out. Rey was the exception to that rule right now. It would just validate some unspoken code about how much of an asshole he would be if he did. Nuzzling his face lightly against the back of her head, he let his eyes slip shut, enjoying her soft warmth. His arm was tucked around her waist, holding her close and before long, as he listened to her try and hide her tears, he began to drift off, his fingers lightly brushing her stomach.


	6. Chapter 6

Rey had waited until he was asleep to slowly extract herself from him. She forced herself to not look at him, not look at how he looked asleep or any of that trapping nonsense. She didn't need to make a memory of this night beyond two orgasms. After cleaning herself off in the bathroom, she fumbled around quietly in the moonlight, looking for her things. She groaned to realize that her skirt was downstairs, as was her shirt. Still, she was able to find her bra and panties, so she counted that as a win. She gathered up the shredded remains of her tights and deposited them in the trash in his bathroom (no need to be rude, she figured). She dashed downstairs, finding the rest of her clothes by the front door, and sent in a ride request on her phone.

As she waited, she frowned to realize that her shoes weren't by the door. She searched her memory, trying to place when she’d taken them off. _Upstairs_ she realized with a groan. Great. She tiptoed back upstairs and looked around his bedroom, glancing around the furniture for wherever her booties had landed. She found one hiding by the nightstand but the other…

Her phone sounded a notification that her ride was here. She looked for her shoe again, hoping it would just jump out at her, but she didn't see it. And her ride was waiting. Crap. _FUCK!_

She couldn't help but glance at Kylo once as she padded shoeless from the room, and she told herself it was because she was making sure that she wasn't missing it in some obvious place. How did a man that large look so impossibly...sweet asleep? No, _no!_ She shook her head and made her way downstairs, throwing her coat on and heading out the door. If her driver had a comment about why she was barefoot in the dead of winter, he kept it to himself.

____________

When Kylo woke sometime in the early hours the next morning, he knew he was alone. The sheets beside him were cold, so she'd been gone for a long while. Laying there in the bed, his arms tucked under the pillow, he looked around the room. Everything seemed so normal, just like any other day. The sunlight was streaming in, soft, pinkish in tint as the sun continued its ascent over the horizon.

Maybe it was for the better, that she wasn't there in the morning.

It would save them from any awkwardness of them gathering up her things, avoiding each other’s eyes as he walked her to the door.

He went through his usual routine of doing sit ups on the floor to help wake up, followed by push ups and a few stretches, getting in his exercise for the day before he went to make coffee and shower while it was brewing.

He had to get his curriculum for the next semester set up, as he was altering a few lessons to help shield from the mundane repetitiveness of being a professor. Kylo found himself wondering if Rey was truly going to sign up for his class or if she had just said that in the moment. She probably wouldn't want to see him again if it could be helped, no need to meet each other’s eyes in the classroom, to know the sounds they made when they came, or the way their faces looked in the throes of passion.

Shaking the thoughts from his head--it wasn't good to linger on such ideas--he dressed quickly and grabbed his coffee before leaving the house, locking it behind him. He’d be going to his office to work on grading finals and getting grades posted, somewhere he wouldn't get distracted by the option of doing anything except work. That, and if any of his students needed to see him before the final grade, they could come make their case, as well.

____________

Jessika tugged her scarf off over her head as she made her way through the English building. She made her way up the stairs, only feeling a slight twinge in her legs from when the guy last night attempted to twist her past the point of comfort. She was all for trying new things but that had been...well, he learned, at least. She could see that Kylo’s door was open and he was sitting at his desk grading. Good, he was here. She slid inside and closed the door, sure to lock it.

“Hey, you,” Jessika greeted, moving to sit in the chair across from him.

Glancing up as she entered, and he raised an eyebrow before turning back to the papers. “Hey.” He was not going to tell her he'd fucked her best friend. He wasn't even going to bring it up, if he could help it.

“How did things go last night? Rey wasn't there when I got home this morning. You _better_ not have sent her into some bigger douchebags arms after you made Justin leave,” Jessika asked, glaring just a bit. “Justin was perfect for rebound sex, I made sure of it. _You_ probably sent her to some guy who could catch feels for her or something.”

“I took her home,” he said absently. He purposely left it vague so that he didn't clarify whose home it was, but that was a minor detail. “I have no idea where she went after that. I'm sure she's fine.” He hoped she was fine.

 _“You_ took her home?” Jessika challenged, eyebrow raised. “Then why did I get an Uber update that Rey got home at 2:30AM?”

Fuck. Damn her for being so fucking bright. “Because I took her to _my_ home,” he finally said, lifting his eyes to hold her stare, daring her to say anything. “She left while I was sleeping. Is she not answering her phone, or something?”

Jessika felt her stomach drop. “Fucking A, Kylo. Did you fuck her!?”

“What, no!--keep your fucking voice down!” he hissed, glancing nervously at the door. He could not be caught again. He just couldn't. “No, I didn't fuck her!”

“You better not have. I swear to _God_ if I find out you fucked her--she’s signed up for your class next semester. And the whole point was for her to fuck a rando, not a guy who she is going to have to _see every other fucking day!”_ Jessika seethed. “And this has _nothing_ to do with what went on between us. It was just fucking. It was great, but that's all it was, so don’t start thinking that I'm sitting here pining for you and burning with jealousy over my best friend. I could care less. Your dick probably would do the girl a world of good, and she’s never been eaten out before so I'm sure you would have satisfied her immensely. But she was supposed to get fucked and start her healing process.” She stood up and placed her hands on his desk, glaring down at him. “So you better be honest as fuck with me right _now,_ or I will kick your ass later.”

Speaking slowly, enunciating every word, he said, “It’s really starting to sound like you _want_ me to fuck her. Why tell me these details otherwise? She's never been eaten out? I could really have done without that bit of information, Miss Pava,” His eyes narrowed at her in irritation.

“Oh, shut up! You know exactly why I told you that. So you would _stay. away._ She’s too green for you. You’d have to teach her basically everything,” Jessika scoffed.

“And if I was up to the challenge?” he asked, rising from his chair to lean forward until their faces were inches apart. “And if I do fuck her, are you going to tell?” The last part was a whisper, slightly baiting.

“I'm not a fucking idiot. I could never do that to my best friend, not to mention the implications that would throw my way.” Her eyes were narrow slits of black as she moved in just an inch more. “And you better fucking _not_ toy with her. Me? That's fine. We were playing a game on a level playing field. But Rey? Who has only ever had one boyfriend and thinks sex equals love forever?” Jessika sighed and backed away, concern painting her attractive features. “You would crush her, Kylo. You're not the relationship type. She either needs to fuck someone she will never see again or fall right back into her next forever. That girl loves too fiercely."

“You're right, I'm not the relationship type,” he said almost bitterly, leaning away from her. “So I'll tell you the truth. Yes, I did fuck her last night. And that's all it was. I made her forget about that boy for a while, and then she disappeared in the middle of the night. I have no clue where she's at, but it sounds like she might need help. And just know that it was a one-time deal because she begged me to. None of this is happening again. I only did it because she wasn't my student at the time. So you can bitch and moan about it all you want, and you get as jealous as you need to be, but I'm done. I'm going to keep my job, thank you.”

“Oh that’s just fucking _great!”_ Jessika snapped, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “Did you also tell her about us beforehand, or were to just trying to collect us both and walk away?” She knew that Rey wouldn’t have had sex with him if she also had, but now she needed to see how honest of a guy Kylo really was.

“Yeah, I did. When you were trying to pick up two bimbos, I told her. It didn't seem to bother her, but yes, I did,” he growled, his expression slowly twisting from irritation to anger.

Jessika took a step further back, hurt crossing her face. Rey wouldn't...she’d never...shaking her head, Jessika decided that she would talk about this with Rey later. When she found her, that was.

“Well I hope you got off,” Jessika snapped before opening in the door and storming out.

Rushing out after her, Kylo managed to get ahead of her and place himself in her path, thanks to his much longer legs. “Do you have any idea where she is?”

Jessika crossed her arms over her chest in defiance. “Why should _you_ care? She isn't your student yet and it was just a “one time thing”. I will find my best friend and I will fix whatever you did to her.” She actually had an excellent idea of where Rey was, she just hoped she could get there in time to save her.

“I'm not trying to...to do that again, Jess. But she’s missing, and I want to help find her. She was with me last night, but I have no idea what time she left,” he looked around the hallway to make sure no one could hear them. “And it just feels like the right thing to do.”

Jessika rolled her eyes. “She probably went to Finn’s. He left last night for winter break. So if I were to make an educated guess, she’s probably a sobbing mess in his bed right now. And if you would get out of my _way,_ I need to get over there so I can pick her up and maybe cause some lowkey property damage."

Holding his hands up, he stepped back, letting her pass. “Okay, okay. But let me know if you need me to come help.” God, Rey was a mess. To actually go back to her ex’s place?

Jessika scoffed at him. “What? So you can have revenge sex on his bed or something? Whatever.”

“I could say the same thing about you. Pick up the nearest boy and fuck him on the bed out of spite,” he sneered, shaking his head.

“You weren't complaining when it was you, asshole!” Jessika snapped back, throwing up a middle finger as she brushed past him. “Stay away from her!”

“Whatever,” he muttered, walking back to his office. “Go find your friend.” Shutting the door, he went to go sulk in his chair. He had known Jessika was rather promiscuous, and while that fact didn't really bother him, for her to be a hypocrite and suggest he was, had irked him. His sexual endeavours actually hadn't been all that much recently. He had been getting his fill from her while she'd been sleeping with anyone and everyone.

And he'd just been trying to be nice. Rey was last at his place, so maybe he had done something to fuck up, and he had a sense of moral obligation to find her, that it was somehow his fault she was missing.

He mulled Jess’ words over a bit more as he leaned back in the chair, staring out the window. Why bother telling him about Rey’s sexual experience? Or lack thereof, actually. It had really seemed like she'd been trying to suggest he do something about it. He _was_ a teacher, after all.

____________

Jessika hated being right sometimes. When she arrived at Finn’s apartment, she was dismayed to find the front door unlocked. Great. Rey was a miserable mess _and_ she ran the risk of being raped and/or murdered at the same time. She would have to give her several serious talks today, but the most primary remained collecting the poor thing and bringing her back home.

Finn had blown up her phone last night, begging for any kind of update on Rey. Jessika had been ready to just block his number (after sending a few scathing replies, and possibly a picture of her middle finger...) when she got one informing her that he’d be leaving to see his brother’s on break that evening, so if Rey needed to come get her stuff, she’d be free to. Jessika now regretted sharing that information with Rey, who seemed to have taken that as an open invitation to simply let herself in and make her mental state worse.

Stupid Professor Kylo Ren was to blame for all of this, Jessika thought with annoyance as she carefully picked her way through the apartment. There was a smashed picture frame by the front door. She wondered which of the two of them had done this, although it seemed obvious it was Rey. If stupid Kylo hadn’t interfered with her plan, Rey wouldn’t have been _this_ distraught and would have come back to the dorm just fine. She would have gotten the much-needed hate fuck out of her system and been able to go about her break with at least that off her chest.

“Rey? Sweetie?” Jessika called softly, slowly approaching the bedroom. She _really_ hated being right sometimes. There was Rey, curled up on Finn’s bed, in one of his hoodies and a pair of his sweatpants. If she didn’t love Rey so much, she would have simply grimaced at the patheticness of it all and walked away. Instead, she gingerly sat on the bed and pulled the hood back, gently stroking Rey’s hair. “Sweetie, we have to go home. They’re kicking us out of the dorms tonight, remember? I need to get you to your guardian’s house.”

“No,” Rey mumbled, burying her face in the bed. “No. If I leave then it’s over. I have to stay here. I have to _be here_ when he comes home. And then it’s going to be fine and we’re going to be fine and it’s all fine.”

“Oh, Rey, no. No, sweetie. That’s not…” Jessika sighed, trailing off. To her surprise, there was a box sitting on the floor with Rey’s clothes in it. She wondered if Rey had packed it, or Finn. This time, something told her it was Finn. Jackass. “C’mon, sweetie, let’s get your things and go. I’ll take you back to my parents house if you want? You know how much they love you.”

Rey shook her head. “No. No! I have to wait! Finn’s going to come back and it’s going to be _fine!_ He loves me. I know he does.”

“Rey! Stop it! Jesus, woman, you’re...this is just _sad._ ” Jessika grabbed Rey’s arms and hauled her into sitting. “I’m sorry that he hurt you and I’m sorry that you’re in pain, but, sweetie, _Rey_ , you have to know that he’s not going to come back. He’s moved on. He already found his next person. And you...you’re going to have to come to terms with that.”

“I can’t,” Rey blubbered.

“Yes you can. You can survive this and you _will._ Now come on, let’s get you away from this hellhole. You’ll never have to speak to him again if you don’t want to, I’ll make sure of it,” Jessika insisted. She was already pulling the hoodie off Rey. She hated being harsh with her, she didn’t want to be a bitch, but Rey was past the point of soft words of love and she needed a firm hand. Besides, if they didn’t get back to the dorms soon, they’d be locked out of them and then SOL on all of their things inside.

It was a struggle getting Rey out of the apartment and into the car, Jessika running back inside to do a quick sweep for anything that may have been left behind. For good measure, she broke a few more things. Finn could deal with some broken glass after he’d broken her best friend’s heart. She figured that was fair.

Rey was still a little sobbing thing in the car, but at least she seemed to be a bit more calm. Jessika winced to realize where her blame lied in this.

“I’m sorry I forced you to go out last night. I shouldn’t have made you do it. You were...it was wrong of me,” Jessika sighed sadly. “I’m sorry I basically handed you over to Professor Ren like that.”

Rey’s eyes went wide, her mouth stuck open in horror. “Wh--how did you know about that?”

“I--he--he told me?” Jessika offered. “Don’t worry, sweetie. I would never tell anyone. You know I wouldn’t, and not even for the fact that it would screw me, too. You and your future are way more important to me than something petty like jealousy.”

“Jess, what are you talking about?” Rey asked, brow furrowed. “I’m so confused.”

Safe at a red light, Jessika turned to look at Rey. “Because Kylo and I--?”

Rey nodded slowly. “Kylo and you?”

Jessika’s eyes were the ones to go wide this time, before immediately narrowing into slits again. She growled lowly in her throat, her knuckles white on the steering wheel. It was only for a moment, though. She let out the breath and then smiled at Rey sweetly. “Because I was in his class and I left you in his care. I thought he was trustworthy, I’m so sorry that he wasn’t.”

“No, don’t be. I...I sort of...asked him to do it,” Rey admitted quietly.

“Don’t give this another thought, Rey. We’re going to go pack our things and I’ll take you to my parents house and my mom will make you some cookies. Okay?”

“‘Kay.”

The moment Jessika pulled into the parking lot, however, she allowed her rage to refuel. She waited until Rey got numbly out of the car before pulling out her phone and tapping away with a fury.

< _You’re a liar and a fucking COWARD, Kylo Ren!_ >

_ <What did I do now?> _

_ <Did you find her?> _

_ <Oh, I found her. And she has no fucking clue about us> _

_ <You’re a fucking liar and a coward and you’re scum.> _

_ <Stay the fuck away from us both!> _

_ <What the hell are you talking about?> _

_ <She doesn’t know that we’ve fucked!!!!!!!> _

_ <I told her! I swear I did.> _

_ <Are you calling her a fucking liar?> _

_ <I’ll fuck you up before I’d ever believe you over her!> _

_ <All I know is that I’M not lying.> _

_ <Whatever floats your boat. Your grade is posted, by the way.> _

_ <Enjoy, and you definitely don't need to text me anymore.> _

Jessika threw her phone into her purse before getting out of the car and grabbing Rey’s box, helpfully guiding the other girl into the dorms. Kylo Ren was an asshole and she’d be damned if she let her best friend get trapped in any of his bullshit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We just wanted to say a quick thank you for the outpouring of support we've received over the last two days. We're glad that some of you are enjoying the world we concocted!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a longer chapter, but we hope you all enjoy it anyway. Any errors in grammar will be edited when we go over it later.

Jessika Pava was a piece of work, that was for damned sure. He'd told Rey. He’d  _ told _ her. But maybe she hadn't heard him. Or she didn't care. He really didn't know, but he doubted she would lie to her best friend. Come to think of it, the music in the bar  _ had _ been obnoxiously loud. But he knew from experience that once Jessika was stuck on an idea, the chances of changing her mind were slim to none.

Dropping the phone back to his desk, Kylo leaned forward and placed his elbows on it, holding his head in his hands as he tried to process the mess he'd gotten himself into. Well, maybe he'd managed to get himself out of it, too. They wanted him to stay away? That was fine with him. He wouldn't be having sex with either one of them again, and he didn't need to see Jess for classes anymore. Rey could probably take another class to get her credit for English. It didn't have to be his class, it really didn't. 

Hearing a knock on the door, he lifted his head, glaring at it as he debated whether or not to tell whoever it was to go away. 

Unfortunately, the door opened before he had a chance to decide, and in walked Armitage Hux, a tall, lanky man with pasty white skin and a head full of red hair. It was slicked back into its usual style, every hair forced into place by obscene amounts of hair spray, a clue as to how controlling and strict he was as an instructor. His shirt was neatly pressed, his black sports coat free of any stray bits of fur from his equally ginger cat, Millicent. 

“What do you want, Hux?” Kylo asked, sighing. Visits from Hux were usually because of something Kylo had done to offend his precious love of policy. 

Hux narrowed his eyes at Kylo’s tone, those pale blue eyes cold and unforgiving. He turned to look around the room, moving over to one of the large bookshelves filled with some of Kylo’s favorite books, along with some teaching tools. He dragged one finger along a shelf and lifted it to his face, sneering slightly as he rubbed his fingers together, sending dust puffing through the air. “Nice to see you too, Ren,” he replied, disgust evident as he wandered back to the desk again. “We get to be the ones to lock down the dormitories for the semester. Isn't that exciting?” His tone was one of complete boredom. 

“What, really? Already?” Kylo looked down at his watch, checking the time. Sure enough, they had to get down there and make sure that there was no one left in the rooms once the semester was over. The break between semesters would be used to deep clean everything and make sure there were no pests before the next one began. “All right,” he said, standing away from his chair. He donned his own jacket, a thick, wool coat that hugged his body, providing extra warmth against the cold of winter.

Hux dipped his head in acknowledgement, a smug smile on his face. “Yes, already. You should really work on your time management skills, you know.”

“Yes, yes, I know,” Kylo muttered under his breath. Following the ginger out of his office, making sure to lock it, and the two professors headed out to behind their rounds of kicking out students.

 

_______________

 

Rey packed her things woodenly, hardly sparing a thought to what she wanted to bring to wherever she wanted to go. Laundry was at least a priority. Jessika insisted that the first step to  _ true _ healing would be to wash that man right out of her hair, and clothes. They’d wrestled for a minute over one of Finn’s hoodies that she’d managed to stash in the box before they left his apartment, Jessika finally winning and declaring that they would burn it. 

There was barely anyone left in the dorm, just the RA waiting for a faculty member to accompany her on her final rounds. The kind girl, Kaydel, had been understanding about Rey’s problem and agreed to let the girls stay a bit over on time. But they needed to leave soon. 

“I’m just going to go drop this load into my car, okay? I’ll be right back,” Jessika said, blowing Rey a quick kiss. 

“Sure,” Rey agreed quietly. 

Hux rounded the corner first, nearly colliding with a young, pretty, dark-haired girl carrying some items. “The time to leave was half an hour ago,” he clipped at her, frowning deeply.

Kylo came around the next second, stopping just behind Hux. His gaze landed on Jessika, and hardened just a bit. He had one hand shoved into his jacket, the other hanging limply by his side. He didn't say anything, opting to let Hux do the talking this time.

“Yeah, well, my roommate has had to deal with some real  _ assholes _ since last night so we got special permission. But we’ll be gone soon.” She looked up at Kylo, glaring. “Don’t worry about that.” 

“And I'm revoking that permission,” Hux barked back. He really didn't like language or attitude, and this girl had both.

Jessika rolled her eyes. “Whatever.” She moved past them, the stairwell door slamming behind her loudly. 

“Is she always like that?” Hux asked, turning to Kylo. He'd seen the girl go into Ren’s office enough to piece together that she was a student of his.

Kylo shrugged, moving past him to continue down the hall. “Not usually. She must be upset about her grade.” Most of the rooms were empty, but there was the sound of things being put into a box a couple of rooms down. Going to stand in the open doorway, he looked in to see Rey. She looked awful. 

Glancing over his shoulder at Hux, he said, “I’ll get this one, you keep going.”

The redhead nodded stiffly and stalked by them without a look inside, disappearing around another corner.

Kylo poked his head into the room, asking softly, “Hey, you okay? I'm sorry about last night. I...I shouldn't have done that.”

Rey stiffened at the sound of his voice. Oh  _ no. _

“It’s--it’s fine.” She continued moving her clean clothes into her suitcase. “I’m sorry I bailed. I...I sort of figured you wouldn’t...it didn’t seem like…” she felt her chest constrict and tears beginning to build again and she had to turn the other way so he didn’t see. God she was pathetic. 

Wait, was she crying? Looking over his shoulder for either Hux or Jessika, he stepped into the room. “Do you...do you need help? Hux isn't going to be nice if he comes back.”

“Why did you tell her?” Rey asked quietly. 

“She came into my office saying you never came home, and asked who I let you run off with. I said I took you home.” He shrugged. “And then she pinned me on it and I couldn't lie. She asked if I'd...you know.”

“Why did she ask?” Rey asked, wiping her nose on her sleeve as she tried to pretend like she wasn’t crying. 

She’d wanted to ask Jessika these questions, she was still bothered by what was said in the car, but Jess had been seemingly trying her hardest to keep Rey’s mind occupied on everything but the goings-on of yesterday that she didn’t have the heart to bring it back up. 

“Shit, you really didn't hear me, did you?” He asked, rubbing his face.

Rey turned around to look at him, blinking in confusion. “What?” 

“Yesterday, at the bar?” he prompted. When it didn't seem like he was going to conjure up the memory he was searching for, he continued. “I told you I’d,” he lowered his voice, “slept with another student. I told you that student was Jessika…”

“Oh.”

Well, that might as well also have happened, Rey figured. It was a good thing she was already as numb as she was, that her heart was already irreparably damaged, or else she could have really felt something just then. Probably something pretty intense. But instead, she was a husk of a person and felt nothing anymore. She blinked at him once, twice, and then turned back to her packing. 

“Oh,” she supplied once more, this time quieter.

Watching her for a moment, he finally crouched down across from her, the box between them. “Hey, I'm sorry. I won't do it again. It was wrong of me to take advantage like that. You were in no emotional state for that to...to happen. And it was unprofessional of me.” He picked up a shirt that was laying on the floor and put it into the box, waiting for her to say  _ something _ .

“I asked,” she said emotionlessly. She glanced at what he had just put in the box. She picked it back up and threw it over her shoulder. “Finn’s.” 

“Oh,” he said, echoing her. “I should probably go, then. Jessika wants me to stay away from you both, so I will. But if you need anything, even if it’s just to talk, my office is open.” He gave her a faint smile. “And I mean it.  _ Just _ talk.” Slipping out of her room, he quickly headed down the hall before Jess or Hux came back.

“Jess isn’t in charge of me, you know.” Rey said, standing behind him. It had only taken her a moment to follow. 

Stopping in his tracks, he turned back to her and frowned softly. “Maybe you should tell her that. There’s being protective and then there's...there’s her making decisions that you just seem pretty uncomfortable with. But what do I know? I'm just a third party.”

Rey winced at that. “She’s always been like this since we were kids. She found out about my past and decided that if no one else would protect me, she would. Honestly, the only time she  _ ever _ handed the reins over was to...to…” 

“Okay, stop right there. Thinking about  _ him _ is not going to help. I know that sounds harsh, but this is about Jessika.” He clenched his jaw, looking around again before he leaned down so she could hear him better. “But from what  _ I’ve _ seen, she's always the one talking for you, and not letting you give your voice. Or she does and then just ignores it.”

“That’s not fair! Jess...she knows more about the world than I do. She’s…” Rey sighed, her defenses dying on her lips. “She’s bossy and overbearing. And she’s  _ not  _ the boss of me.” 

“Okay,” he conceded, dipping his head before meeting her eyes again. “So she's not the boss of you. But she also doesn't want you doing certain things. Not that she tells you no, but I bet you guys are on the same cell phone plan, right?” Did she even know how to do taxes by herself? “What you need is a teacher, not a warden.”

“Are you offering?” Rey asked, almost surprised that her voice sounded as bold as it did. 

He straightened abruptly, looking down at her. “I would have conditions, but maybe. If you were interested. This would be completely non-sexual, I’m just saying that upfront. This is purely academic.”

Rey scowled at him. “Right. Because doing anything sexual would be horrible.” 

She didn’t like that she was using harshness to cover up her pain, but it was a quick reflex. Her pride was six feet under right now, between her boyfriend leaving her for a guy he’d been fucking for months behind her back, her embarrassment at having to admit to Kylo her inexperience, her stupidity for going back to Finn’s, and then finding out at the only other guy she’d ever slept with in her entire life had  _ also _ fucked her best friend. So, excuse her for being a bit of a bitch at the moment. 

“There's nothing wrong with sex in general, no, but you are a student at the school I'm employed at, and  _ if  _ you sign up for my class, that’s a double-offense. I could get fired, so...probably best to abstain.” He gave her a small, private smile. “Were you planning on my class?”

“I was,” she replied, taking a step closer to him. 

He raised an eyebrow at her, sliding a look down her body quickly before meeting her eyes again. “Was?”

“I emailed my advisor this morning that I was going to drop it.” She took another step. What the fuck was she doing? Her body and mind seemed to be on a different track than her heart. “But, if we’re not going to be doing anything sexual, I see no harm in retracting that message.” 

She'd only been with one other guy before? She was acting like a damn seductress and she didn't even seem to be aware of it. He cleared his throat and gave a tight nod of his head, “All right, good. If you do, just be warned that I won't go easy on you. You'll get the same treatment as any other student during class. Understood?”

“I would hate for you to take it easy on me. I like it hard,” Rey found her tratious voice whispering in a tone very near husky. 

Letting his breath out in a rush, he dropped his attention down to her lips. Her cupid’s bow was perfect, and her full bottom lip was just made for kissing. He had a sudden longing to taste them again, and he caught himself as he'd started to lean down to her. “Good. I'll see you in class, then,” he whispered back before straightening. “My other condition is to stop letting Jessika make decisions for you. You're a smart, capable woman. You can do it yourself.” 

Rey smiled up at him. “Yes, Professor.” She brushed past him then, her body just barely grazing his, before heading back to her room. 

He watched her go, definitely not lingering on her wonderful, rounded ass. He'd seen what was under those clothes not twenty-four hours before, and...he shook the idea from his head. No, this was a strictly professional relationship. Kylo Ren wasn't good at any other kind; he wasn't even good at keeping professional ones professional. God help him.

________________

 

Rey hadn’t told Jessika what she knew, although she had had to put her foot down in their friendship. Jessika was less than pleased to hear that Rey was still signed up from Kylo’s class, but Rey insisted that every other English class was full and there wouldn’t be a spot available in a different one until the semester began and someone inevitably dropped something. At least that was true. When Jessika tried to argue further, Rey simply asserted that she could handle herself and she’d be fine (although she then hugged Jessika and thanked her for looking out for her. She couldn’t be mean to her only friend.) 

Rey spent the holiday with the mix of Jessika’s doting parents, her barely-hanging-in-there guardians, and her own self. It was during those alone moments that she suffered the most, free to remember the little things Finn did or how Kylo felt thrusting inside of her. She’d cry and brush away the Finn moments, while she whimpered and attempted to take care of herself for the Kylo ones. She didn’t know where her sudden boldness had come from that afternoon in her dorm hall, but she desperately wished that she could really  _ be _ that person. What it must be like to be Jessika, seducing anyone she wanted on a whim. Jessika had seduced Kylo. Rey had simply...stumbled into it. And while she laid on her bed, panting and writhing for her vibrator as the new year ticked down, she pretended like she could seduce him for real, too.

 

_____________

 

Over the break, Kylo spent his time finishing up any changes to his course and checking the roster for his class. There was Rey’s name near the bottom of the list. He gave a self-satisfied smile as he worked at the computer in his home office. He was pleased she'd be attending, and even if he couldn't touch her again, he could definitely look. And also look out for her, as well. He sent out a mass email to the students in the class, welcoming them to Introduction to Modern Poetry, giving them a copy of the syllabus and other things that were expected of them. In large letters near the bottom, he clearly stated that he did not accept extra credit. The grade earned was the grade posted, and that was final. 

The rest of the time was spent ignoring his family (especially his father) and skipping Christmas dinner, claiming he had things to do for work. And by things, he meant sit on his couch with ungodly amounts of alcohol, his standoffish cat, Jax, and about seven seasons of his favorite show on Netflix. 

In the time in between, his hand was wrapped around his cock, pulling with long, heavy strokes that mimicked the feeling of being inside someone. Fuck, he really needed to get laid again. And preferably soon, before Rey walked into his classroom. 

She’d been inexperienced in a lot of what sex had to offer, but when he'd screwed her that one night, she'd taken it like a champ. And god, her face was so pretty when she was moaning his name. But no, he was going to be good. Everything was fine, this was fine.

 

________________

 

Jessika was already at class, leaving Rey to wake up and get ready alone. Her first class was Introduction to Modern Poetry with Professor Kylo Ren and she was glad Jess wasn’t going to be home to see the amount of work she’d be putting in for a 10AM Monday class. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, Rey would get to see Professor Kylo Ren. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, Rey would get to hear Professor Kylo Ren. And Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, along with every other day of the week, Rey would get to squeeze her thighs together and pretend like she didn’t know what his cock felt like inside of her. 

It was January but Rey wasn’t afraid of the cold. She dressed in a pleated black skirt, a cream button-down blouse with the top two buttons left undone, and a pair of cream thigh high socks, you know, for warmth. She tied her hair up in her traditional style of three buns, but took extra care to pull a few more strands loose than usual, and then took her curling iron to them. She didn’t want to fuss too much with her face, just some mascara and some lip gloss, careful to follow the shape of her lip and accent her cupid’s bow. Finally, spritzing on some perfume, she grabbed her coat and books and made her way across campus to the English Lit building.

 

_____________

 

Kylo was there early, as he usually was, when he wasn't spilling coffee on poor University students. He was wearing a plain charcoal grey T-shirt, made to look a bit more formal by the black sports coat and the dress slacks. He’d even worn his glasses today, too. It was too early on a Monday morning for contacts. Usually his classes were a bit later in the day.

He’d set his bag down near the desk and was loading up the computer for the welcoming presentation, where he would go over what was expected of them, and outline the various projects that would be assigned throughout the semester. The door kept opening and closing as students trickled in, and with each one, his eyes lifted from the computer screen to check and see if one of them was a beautiful British girl with brown hair. 

Turning away from the door, he wrote a few things on the board, his script flowing and intricate. It was a poetry class, after all. Glancing up at the time as he finished, he turned to greet everyone, scanning the crowd as he spoke, “Welcome to Introduction to Modern Poetry. If you thought this was Creative Writing, you missed it by a semester.” There were a few chuckles, and as he looked around again, his eyes settled on the one person he had been searching for, as he continued, “I’m Professor Ren.”

Rey had slid into the room while Kylo was writing on the board, delighted to see that everyone was too afraid to take a seat at the front. This worked well for her. She moved down the steps and sat herself directly in the seat in the very front, very center. She smiled as she took him in. He was wearing a dark coat that almost,  _ almost _ hid the arse that she knew was amazing underneath. She crossed her legs as his voice filled the room, needing a bit of pressure. Fuck, maybe this was going to be more difficult than she thought? 

After going over the syllabus and making sure there were no questions, he moved around to the front of the desk and leaned against it, his hands wrapped around the edge, ankles crossed. “All right, so now that we've gotten the boring stuff out of the way, and because we’re going to be spending the next...twenty weeks or so together, how about an ice breaker game?”

He laughed when there were some groans of protest, but he held a hand up. “Okay, okay, this will be the only one the entire semester, I promise. Let’s do two truths and a lie. The game is exactly how it sounds--first, introduce yourself, and then tell us two true things about yourself, and one lie, and we’ll guess which one is the lie.”

Rey was amongst the groaners. She hated these kinds of games. All they did was make each other remember who had the lame ones and who had tried to “scandalize” the class. Biting back a smirk, she had a feeling that she could scandalize everyone with one of her truths...if she had some sort of expulsion kink. 

Rey listened patiently as they went around the room, chiming in every once in a while as to which she thought were which. When Kylo finally zig-zagged down to her, she gave it a moment’s thought before going. 

“I was an orphan from ages five to eleven, blue is my least favorite color, and...and I just got out of a four-year-long relationship because my boyfriend was sleeping with someone else behind my back. A guy.” Well, she supposed it wasn’t her most scandalous piece of life-news, but it was enough to garner some gasps of shock from kinder-sounding girls.  

Choosing to stay out of this round, he listened as a fee students offered their thoughts on Rey’s choices. Having received at least one answer of each, Kylo tilted his head back to her, “Well, which one is it, Rey?”

Rey hid the shiver his voice saying her name caused well. “I’m pretty ambivalent towards most colors, but if I had to pick a favorite, I suppose it would be blue.” 

“Blue, hmm? I never would have suspected that,” he told her, glancing down at her socks that he could see under her desk before he thanked her and moved on to the next one. Most of the other answers were pretty boring, with kids trying to trip up their answer, by saying they were a specific age when something happened when they were at another.

“All right, now that that's out of the way, and we've got about…” he checked his watch again “10 minutes left, does anyone have any questions for me?”

Rey raised her hand and waited until he nodded at her to go. “I didn’t see this on your syllabus, but, when are your office hours?” 

“Great question, they're on the back of the syllabus. But my office hours are from 2:00-4:00 every Monday and Thursday,” he said with another look around the room to see if there were other questions. 

Seeing there were none, he nodded to the door. “All right, you guys can leave early. That almost never happens, so enjoy it.” He walked around behind his desk again and began to wipe off the board for the next professor. 

As Rey stood to pack up her things, she wondered what she was even doing. There was still a dull ache in her chest from her break up with Finn, and her clothes fit almost too loosely from the weight she had lost in her holiday depression, despite Mrs. Pava trying her best to keep the poor girl fed. But, as she’d told herself before she left back for school, this wasn't wrong. She hadn't made Finn happy enough to stay around, she wasn't desirable enough. So what if she wanted to be desirable? So what if she wanted to prance and preen like Jess to prove that she was someone worth looking at, someone worth wanting in  _ some  _ way. Although she was confident that her days of one-night-stands were absolutely over, she still needed the confidence boost of a few turned heads. 

“Miss Niima?” he called over his shoulder, seeing that she was one of the last people in the class. “Could you stay for a moment?”

Rey froze as she was about to sling her messenger bag up on her shoulder. “Of course, Professor.” 

The door shut one last time. 

Rey swallowed thickly. 

They were alone. 

Turning away from the board, he moved until he was standing behind the desk again, looking her up and down with a critical eye. “When was the last time you ate?”

Rey flushed, bringing her arms up to wrap around her stomach. “I had...something...before.”

Last night. When Jessika had last force fed her. 

“Don't lie to me. Yet another condition,” he said sternly, frowning down at her. 

“Well, you won't like the real answer either as it violates one of your previous conditions, so I lose no matter what,” Rey huffed. 

He rolled his eyes before he said, “It isn't about winning or losing. It’s about actually taking care of yourself. When?”

She sighed, dropping her arms. “Jess forced some soup on me last night. Before that? I’m...I don't remember. I was at my guardian's old house for much of break, alone, so I just sort of…” she shrugged, trailing off. 

“That's going to have to change, then. You're wilting away.” He really, really didn't like the way her face was so gaunt. “Please take better care of yourself? Even if you don't feel like eating?”

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, feeling embarrassed about...everything. “I don't know why you pretend to care so much. You’re getting nothing at all out of this...whatever this is.” Reflexes. 

“I care because I don't like seeing people starving themselves to death. Which is exactly what you're doing, Rey.” He inhaled and took his glasses off to rub at his eyes before resettling them. “Look, you may think I'm a giant asshole, and for the most part, you'd be right. I'm horrible at a lot of things, and say and do a lot of stuff I shouldn't, but I do want you healthy.” 

“I don't think that about you at all. You only did what I asked you to do. I had no idea about your...previous history with Jess so I can't hold that against you. Lord knows I never hold it against her. I just…” she sighed, plucking at her skirt absently. “I just don't know why you’re doing this, or what this even is. What  _ exactly  _ are you hoping I'm going to learn?” 

“I’m hoping...that you find your place in all of this.” He gestured to their surroundings. “Not necessarily this room, or this campus. But in the world. I want you to be successful when you go off and get started in vehicle design. More importantly, I think you need to find  _ you. _ You'd been with this guy since--what?--middle school? Rey, you've been clinging to the idea of him for so long that I truly believe you don't really know quite who  _ you _ are.” He shrugged, shoving his hand into the pocket of his slacks, the other running through his hair. “You can call...this...whatever you want to. An apprenticeship, a joke, I don't care, but I hope it helps you.”

Rey tried to ignore the sting of more tears. Damnit. “It was high school,” she feebly corrected, lip wobbling. “And I  _ do  _ know who I am. I think. God, I don't know.” She sunk back into the chair, bringing the heel of her hand up to her forehead as a few tears fell free. “I'm so stupid,” she whispered to the floor.  

“Why are you stupid?” he asked gently, moving to stand next to the chair. He wanted to pat her on the back or touch her shoulder, but even that was seen as indecent, so he kept his hand firmly in his pocket as he watched her cry, unable to really help. 

“Just... _ because, _ ” she said, unable to fully confess. She grabbed her things and moved past him, heading out of the room as more tears fell. 

“Rey!” he called after her, needing to stop her. Something wasn't right, he couldn't just let her leave like  _ that.  _ Grabbing his own bag quickly, he rushed out after her, getting lost in the campus crowd for a moment until he spotted her head bobbing along through the other students. 

Pushing through them quickly, he caught up with her, slightly out of breath as he walked next to her. “Hey, stop. Why’d you leave like that?”

What did he want her to say? The truth? That she’d tried to look appealing, specifically for  _ him _ , and he’d only seen the fact that she’d been slowly shrinking away for the last near-month? It had been hard enough to look at herself in the mirror, but to know that  _ both  _ the men she’d slept with didn't find her attractive was just another fantastic twist of the knife that was permanently in her heart. 

“I’m  _ fine, _ Professor. I'm just...fine.” 

“You're not fine,” he argued. “ _ Fine  _ people don't just burst into tears and run away.” He lowered his head down to say, “So no, Rey, you  _ aren't  _ fine. I'll leave you alone, since I seem to be making things worse for you, but please eat something.”

“Wait, no,” she said before she could stop herself. She’d reached out and touched his sleeve.  _ Fuck.  _ She dropped her hand immediately. “I'm sorry, okay? I'm still a hot mess. My emotions have been in a spin for the last month but that's not something you should have to see the brunt of. I...I have some time before my next class. I promise I will go eat.” 

He searched her eyes for a long moment, looking beyond the tears still glimmering in them. “You can't break a promise,” he told her. “Don't make me any you won't keep.”

“I’d offer to allow you to join me so you could witness for yourself, but I have a feeling that's also some sort of a violation? No touching, no lying, no Jess-controlling, and no communal meals?” Rey said, only this side of teasing. 

Smiling slightly, he said, “If you tell me you've eaten, I'll believe you. Not that I couldn't have a communal meal.” He sighed. “It’s frowned upon, but not technically against school policy, so don't tempt me.”

“I doubt I'm any kind of temptation to you,” Rey shrugged dismissively. “I’ll see you Wednesday, Professor.” She turned and left.

Frowning after her, wondering what on Earth brought that comment on, he muttered, “See you Wednesday…” He walked the other way, heading back towards his office, feeling a bit puzzled, but otherwise better than he had a bit ago.

If Rey thought Tuesday would be an alright day, then she’d completely forgotten who was the instructor of her 1PM class. She had been walking mindlessly into the Engineering building, not thinking about anything, when she walked into a class taught by none other than the Stealer of Boyfriends, Professor Poe Dameron. 

Rey thought he had given all of his Engineering classes  _ away  _ when he switched to being part of the Criminal Justice department. Why was he still  _ here?  _

Fuck, fuck,  _ fuck. _ She couldn't drop this class. She needed it for her degree.  _ Fuck!  _

Professor Dameron looked up, smiling at each student as they entered. He was a handsome fellow, with tanned skin that gave credit to his Guatemalan heritage. He had black hair that was slicked back, but still managed to fall forward most days. So imagine his surprise when he saw Rey Niima enter his class at 1PM. He knew Rey, of course he knew Rey. Well, knew  _ of _ her. 

He'd stolen Finn away from her, after all. And judging by the look on her face, she knew exactly what'd he'd done. He met her eyes for a short second before he turned away first, and tried his best to avoid looking at her again as he got the class started. 

Rey sat at the very back of the room, slouching down in her chair. Unfortunately, this drew the attention of her fellow female major, a sweet girl named Rose. 

“Rey! How hon! How was your break? Wow, it looks like you lost weight. I only ever  _ gain  _ weight over the holidays. Of course then I lose it again during finals so my doctor isn't too concerned about it. So what did you do? Did you and Finn go see your fam? Did he see his brothers? What did you get each other?” the bright girl happily chirped, nearly bouncing in her seat. 

Rey looked up, staring Professor Dameron in the back of his stupid head as she said rather loudly, “Finn and I broke up.” 

This elicited gasps from nearly everyone nearby. As an upper level class, Rey was surrounded by her fellow majors who she’d gotten to know over the last two and a half years. They partied together, studied together. Her relationship was their relationship, in a way. 

“You _ what!?  _ Oh my god, sweetie, no! Fey was my OTP!” Rose pouted, real tears in her kind brown eyes. She leaned closer in, asking with a slightly quieter whisper, “what happened?” 

Rey was relentless, however. Still glaring at Poe’s dumb fucking head, she loudly replied, “He was cheating on me. For  _ months.”  _

“Oh, oh my god, honey. I'm so,  _ so  _ sorry! I really thought you two were endgame. Are you doing okay? Please tell me your friend Jessika didn't, like, try to get you laid or anything right away? I know she is your bestie and she means well but that would have been, like, the  _ worst  _ thing,” Rose prattled on. 

Now Rey winced. She wasn't sure if she wanted Poe, and by extension  _ Finn _ , hearing about her ill-advised one-night-stand. 

“She’s been really supportive,” Rey replied neutrally. 

“Oh, good. Well, I'm here for you, sweetie,” Rose said, reaching to give Rey’s hand a reassuring squeeze. 

Professor Dameron turned back to the students and tried to give his best intimidating glare. “All right, all right, everyone settle down. It’s the first day of the semester, so you know what that means. Yep, pull out your syllabi. I'm Poe Dameron. I prefer to go by one of those two names instead of Professor. Makes me feel old. Anyway, let's get started.” He glanced up at where Rey was sitting, giving her an apologetic nod of his head before he opened his notes. 

Rey was going to throttle this guy. How dare he look at her  _ sympathetically?  _ What the fuck? He’d known what he was doing. Sure, they hadn't seen each other since her freshman year intro class, but he surely  _ saw  _ her. Especially if he ever went to Finn’s apartment, where there were once framed pictures of them everywhere. Then again, she decided it was best not to think that. She didn't want to imagine them fucking in the same bed she and Finn used to...to make  _ love  _ in. Tears pricked in her eyes and she glared down at her desk. This was going to be the worst semester of her life. 

The class was boring, but the first class of every semester always was. There were a couple of students that he'd had nearly every semester since he'd began teaching at the University since he'd always liked to switch up what he taught. Poe didn't have the attention span to repeat the same topics over and over again.

When he dismissed them for the day, he asked Rey if she might stay after class. He wanted to try and explain himself, but this was going to be hard. Hopefully she didn't slap him.

Rey sat in her desk, glaring at him. “What? I have other classes, you know.”

No she didn't. Her next class wasn't until 4. 

Clearing his throat nervously, he waited until the last student left and then he locked the door before coming to stand in front of Rey, leaving some space between them. “First off, I just want to say I'm sorry. I know this is...rough on you.”

Finn had told him about the hateful texts from Jessika. And while one part of him wanted to defend his boyfriend, he couldn't get anymore involved. 

Rey stood up, clutching her books to her chest. “You can take your fucking apology and shove it. I literally  _ don't  _ want to hear this. Don't talk to me ever again. I will come to your fucking class and I will do my work and we will not interact at  _ all  _ and we can just pretend the other doesn't exist.”  

“Hey, hey, okay,” he said, holding up his hands. “Fine. But you should know that Finn’s a mess, too. You may not care now, but you were a big part of his life.”

“I said I didn't want to hear this shit! I literally  _ don't care.  _ You two shattered my heart and left me broken, but at least you have each other.” Fuck, hadn't she cried  _ enough?  _ Now she had to cry in front of her boyfriends new boyfriend. This was getting beyond embarrassing. “I have  _ no one  _ so forgive  _ me  _ for blocking his number and wishing I never, ever met him.” 

“You don't? I thought I saw you leaving a bar with Ren after last semester. I thought…” he trailed off, shaking his head. “Maybe not.”

“ _ What? _ ” Rey gasped, a choked sound in her throat. 

“You two aren't screwing?” He asked, looking down to adjust the brown leather jacket he was wearing. It was his favorite. 

“ _ Excuse me!?”  _ Rey snapped. “What the fuck are you talking about?” 

“Nevermind, forget I said anything. Maybe it wasn't you.” He blushed furiously and quickly turned around to go clean up the desk area, shoving papers and notebooks into a satchel. “Sorry, I won't bug you again. Just...yeah, forget I said anything.”

“No, no. I am not dropping this.” She set her books down and got in his face, glaring at him. “What did you  _ see _ ?” 

“I, ahm, I was walking down the street to meet up with someone at this bar, and right before I went in, I saw you, or someone that looked like you, get in a car with Ren. There's no mistaking him--guy’s built like a house.” He kept his eyes down low, thinking that maybe if he avoided eye contact, she wouldn't be even more provoked.

Rey stepped closer, forcing him to see only her hard hazel eyes. “You didn't see shit. You  _ aren’t _ shit. Keep your fucking mouth shut and leave. me. alone.” 

“Right, okay,” he nodded, flinching at the threat in her words. “Sure. Just...yeah. Just don't do anything that would get anyone in trouble.”

Rey grabbed her things and left the room, slamming the door shut behind her. Fuck Poe Dameron.


	8. Chapter 8

Even though it wasn't his office hours, Kylo was in there anyway, working. He was always working, it seemed. He basically lived at the campus, comforted by the solitude from people, but knowing they were nearby.

Right now, he was sorting through some paperwork, getting notices from the Financial Aid office that some student’s tuition in his class weren't covered for the semester. That was the shitty part about teaching; when someone couldn't afford the price tag to sit in a classroom for a few hours a week. Kylo hated watching them drop his class, and he wished he could help, but he wasn't made of money. He couldn't pay for everyone.

Holding the pen sideways in his mouth, he set the papers down and leaned back, hearing a knock on the door a moment later. “Come in!” he called.

“We have a problem,” Rey said as soon as she shut and locked the door.

“What problem?” He asked, frowning. Why in the hell would she be bursting into his office like this? There was only one thing he could think of, and...no…

“Someone else knows. Another _professor_ knows,” Rey said, sitting down in a huff of frustration.

Narrowing his eyes at her, he asked, “Knows _what?”_

“You know _what_ ” Rey said, glancing nervously over her shoulder at the locked door.

Leaning forward, he placed his hands on the desk and laced his fingers together, tapping his thumbs against one another as his mouth set in a grim line. “Who was it?”

“Professor...Dameron.” She didn't want to say his name, but this was more important than her wounded pride.

Growling, he shook his head in disgust. “As if he has room to talk--sorry, your day probably just got ten times better. How exactly does he know?”

“He saw me get into your car at the bar,” Rey grumbled.

“That's it? He just saw that?” Please say that was it. If so, then everything was fine.

“That was it. But, in his own stupid ficking words, he said “Aren’t you two screwing?” as if it were a fact. I told him he didn't know shit and to leave me the fuck alone,” Rey said, anger simmering in her blood.

“Well, you can honestly say no to that. We aren't fucking,” he shrugged, letting out a sigh of relief. “And he didn't actually _see_ anything. So we’re good.”

“He can't tell on us or I can flip that shit right back on him,” Rey agreed. “But still...he knows...which means Finn...Finn might, too.”

“...Would it bother you if Finn knew?” Kylo asked quietly, looking up at her from beneath his lashes.

Rey gave a small shrug as her only response, chewing on her lip. Would it? What if it bothered Finn to know she’d moved on immediately? Would that mean he still loved her? That Poe was just a...a phase? Something you just sort of tried in college? Everyone was always trying to get to make out with Jessika or Rose, she supposed that was plausible...for a few months...to just...see?

Finn’s words rang in her ears, about how he wasn't happy with her anymore. No. Poe wasn't an experiment. Poe was someone who made Finn happy. Like she had failed to do for who knows how long now. She wondered if she could ever make anyone happy. No one wanted someone who was already broken, not even someone with the same scars.

She brushed away a tear but was comforted to notice that no more followed. Maybe she was officially all cried out, finally.

“Fuck him,” Kylo said suddenly, sitting up straight. “Fuck Finn, and not in the fun way. He's not worth your tears.” He reached into a desk drawer to pull out a box of tissues, then slid them over to her.

“Yeah,” she said with a small smile at him. She grabbed a tissue and dabbed at her eyes. She appreciated his attempts at humor every time she cried in front of him. And _god_ had she cried in front of him a lot.

No wonder he didn't want to sleep with her again. She wouldn't want to sleep with her, either.

“Honestly, I wouldn't worry about the Dameron thing. He's not stupid enough to say anything. And if he does, I'll burn him.” He gave her a devious smirk, just wanting her to smile again. Poor thing had been through quite a bit in the past few weeks, and he hadn't exactly helped the situation at all. “Are you in dorms again this year?”

“Um. No, actually. Jess’s parents got us an apartment for Christmas. Apparently they've been planning to surprise us with it since before my break up, but after finding out, they had the movers rearrange our things so I got the bigger room. So, you know, I guess that’s...something.” She cocked her head at him, eyeing his curiously. “Why do you ask?”

“I just didn't want to have to kick you out again at the end of the semester. Hux and I are the ones that do it every year,” he said easily, shrugging. Honestly, at this point, he was just trying to make conversation. He didn't want to give her the feeling that he was trying to make her leave. He wouldn't mind if she wanted to use the other end of his desk to do homework if she wanted company or something.

“That was...a moment, to say the least. That man is terrifying,” Rey said, shuddering to remember his cold, pale blue eyes.

Snorting, he nodded. “He _is_ intimidating, I agree. But if he could just get the stick out of his ass, the world would be a much happier place.” He picked up the papers on the desk and took them over to the filing cabinet, opening the drawer and dropping them into their respective places.

Rey hummed her approval. “Thanks for being so...amazing, by the way. I'm sorry if I or Jessika ever made you feel like an arsehole. I was sincere yesterday when I said you weren't. Aren’t. A lot of guys wouldn't...they wouldn't put up with this, _any_ of this, even if they thought they’d lose their jobs. Which I still swear I won't tell. Even if you _were_ suddenly an arsehole.” She gave a humorless laugh. “I mean, I'm not even telling on Dameron, and I want to cut him.”

Frowning down at his hands as they stilled on the files, he shook his head softly. “I'm not amazing,” he muttered. “Far from it, but I like being able to help. So if coming in here and ranting about Dameron makes you feel better, feel free. Just don't, like, break into my office…” One corner of his mouth twisted up into a self-satisfied smirk as he slowly closed the cabinet door again, turning around to face her. His eyes swept over her from head to foot, lingering on her face, and then down to her chest, and finally her hips.

The collar of his shirt suddenly felt a little bit tighter, and he inhaled deeply, his jaw clenching as he internally debated on sweeping everything off the desk and taking her on it. Unfortunately, there were a few issues with that idea. One, he'd said he wouldn't. And two, he didn't have any condoms. But he wanted to. Boy, did he want to. He could remember the way her body had felt around his, could still picture her head thrown back in pleasure, moaning for him. If only she'd meant it, and hadn't just had her heart broken by someone else.

Rey cocked her head to the other side, her lips parted slightly as she regarded him. He must be tired, she thought. His gaze was suddenly unfocused and his breathing seemed off. Maybe she was overwhelming him with all of her problems? It _was_ the beginning of a new semester, he had other things to worry about than getting roped into her suddenly-messy life. As she swept her eyes down his frame, she licked her lip, wondering if it was inappropriate to offer him a massage or something. It probably was.

Still. She could offer?

“Kylo?”

Rousing himself from his daydream, he refocused on her and blinked. “Hmm?” Her tongue was darting out to lick her lower lip, and he found himself mesmerized by the sight.

“Do you want a massage? You seem pretty tense right now I feel like I'm at least 60% responsible for it. I should do something to help release you,” Rey offered, presenting her hands in front of her as if to show that she meant no harm.

“I…” he swallowed, and then took a deep breath. “I couldn't...let you do that,” he said slowly. His shoulders _were_ really tense, though--she was absolutely right. But yeah, that was definitely not a way for a student and a professor to interact. So why did he want to do it even more?

“Please, I insist!” she pouted. She took a few steps forward to close the distance between them. “Sit,” she ordered softly, pointing beyond his frame to his chair.

He eyed her suspiciously for a long moment before finally huffing and brushing past her to take a seat in his chair, waiting anxiously for her to do...whatever she was planning on doing. “You really don't have to, you know…” he said quietly over his shoulder to her.

“Coat off, Professor. I can't get it very well over all your clothes,” Rey instructed, waiting patiently.

Closing his eyes, feeling even more tense, he slowly peeled his jacket off, setting it aside on the desk. She'd seen him completely naked, so it wasn't like it was nerves from that. Why did he feel so fucking _exposed_ around her right now?

“Thank you,” Rey said, bright and pleased. It was good that he was wearing a T-shirt, it made this easier. “Just _relax_ , Kylo. I’m rubbing your shoulders, not your cock.”

“Well now that's not very fair,” he grumbled under his breath, taking deep breaths to help keep the blood from rushing down to the body part in question. “You don't see me talking about your cunt like that, do you?” Sighing, he rolled his head from side to side. Maybe he shouldn't have said that.

“What’s there even to say about it?” Rey asked, a genuine question, even as she burned bright pink at that word. She and Finn didn't use _that_ word. It was hard enough for either of them to refer to it as a pussy. Now that she thought about it, they didn’t refer to it as much of anything.

She moved her hands along his shoulders, momentarily dazed by how strong his muscles were. Why would someone need muscles on their shoulders like this?

_To hold you up and fuck into you._

Her brain was mean, she decided, working her hands harder into him through her own frustration.

He sighed into her touch, every muscle starting to slowly relax under her very skilled fingers. Dropping his head forward, he let his eyes flutter shut. “You really don't see yourself as anything special, do you?” He’d purposely avoided answering her question, hoping that maybe his own was close enough to be an answer.

“No,” she admitted quietly. She began working through a knot on his right shoulder, right where the skin of his neck met the tight cords of muscle. Had he avoided her question?

He made a small sound as she prodded at the knot that'd been forming all day. It was painful, but to feel it releasing was enough to make him groan lowly. Fuck she was really good at this. “Why not? You're...you're very beautiful,” he said quietly, shifting on the chair as another, slightly louder sound escaped him and he was hissing between his teeth.

Rey hesitated. “Oh. Um. Thanks.”

Why was she upset? She had _wanted_ to be desirable, right? This counted, didn't it? She shouldn't complain about the scraps she was being thrown.

Fuck, she needed to work on her self esteem.

“Sorry--I shouldn't have said anything. Have I mentioned I'm really bad at relationships? Any kind, really. The one with my parents is awful, too.” He shrugged slightly, her hand travelling with the movement. Finally, he sat up straighter and dipped his head back to look up at her. She was flushed a shade of red, but not like she'd liked the words. Stupid, Kylo, stupid. Just keep your fucking mouth shut.

“I'm going to be that bitch who plays the orphan card and reminds you to be grateful you have them,” Rey said, giving him a small smirk. “Head back down, Professor.” She gave him a gentle nudge and began to work down the back of his neck.

Head falling forward obediently, he asked, “What happened to them? You don't have to answer if you don't want to, or anything. I know it isn't my business.” He was like putty under her fingers. He didn't dare ask how she'd become to good at this--he had a feeling that it was due to a certain ex-boy of hers.

“No, it's fine.” She took a quick breath, using the moment to thread her fingers up into his head, massaging his scalp. It soothed her just as much to run her fingers through his silky hair. “They were drug addicts who surrendered me to an unfit guardian when I was five...well, no, that's not quite true. They _traded_ me for drugs. But I wasn't with that man for too long before I was found and placed in foster care. Maybe two or three years? Anyway, I found out when my new guardians took custody of me at 12 that my parents had died shortly after I was traded. I don't even know their names so I can't find their graves...if they have any. I guess it wasn't a...a peaceful death.”

“They…” he frowned, his muscles stuck in between tensing at her words and relaxing at her ministrations. “They just _traded_ you? Like you were a dog? Or a piece of garbage? Wow. That's...and I thought my parents were bad.” Her fingers fucking _belonged_ in his hair, and that was a fact. Her nails were just long enough to lightly scratch along his scalp and for a moment, he had the briefest moment of wondering what they were actually doing. They weren't friends--they didn't go shopping at the mall, and she didn't come over to his house to watch movies and hang out. She'd been there once as a one-night stand, and she just so happened to be his student, as well. One that he would very much like to have sex with again. Had he just said that outloud? God, he hoped not. He'd put her through the wringer already.

“They’re your conditions we’d be violating, Professor Ren, not mine,” Rey whispered quietly, fingers still tugging gently through his hair even as her heart picked up pace.

Working his jaw, lost in thought, he turned to look at her at her whisper. Shit. He _had_ said that out loud, hadn't he? Something prodded him into turning the chair towards her, his eyes darkening as he scanned her over again. She was wearing a long sleeved shirt, obscured by a ridiculously puffy vest. Her leggings hugged the curve of her hips, and he had the sudden urge to peel them down her thighs and bury his face between them. “They are, aren't they…” he murmured thoughtfully. He was already leaning towards it by about 92%, but the other 8% was putting up a feeble attempt to hold back and keep his word.

Rey took a step between his parted legs, heart thundering in her ears. What the fuck was she doing? What were _they_ doing? She was still heartbroken over Finn. She was Kylo’s student. She missed Finn. She missed Kylo. She missed Kylo’s hands on her body. She missed Finn’s smile. She missed the way Kylo’s eyes turned so dark for her. She missed the way Kylo felt between her legs. She missed his cock. Who was Finn, again?

She put her hands on his shoulders, pressing into the muscles there with gentle kneading. She trailed her hands down his chest, a small sound climbing up her throat as she felt the muscles _there_. She had been imagining his chest for a month now...amongst other things that lay lower.

His heart was thudding heavily in his chest, leaping towards her fingers as she slid her hands across him. He was watching her intensely, his mouth parted as he reached up to unzip her vest, holding her eyes the whole time. “Tell me if this isn't okay,” he managed to get out, sliding the vest off her shoulders to lay on top of his jacket on the desk.

Gingerly, he pulled the hem of her shirt up to expose the soft, smooth flesh of her stomach, and he leaned in, ghosting his lips across her skin, inhaling her scent.

“Tell me that you don’t want this,” Rey challenged quietly, her hands sliding into his hair again. She shivered to feel his breath against her heated skin, causing her to tug on his hair a little harder so as to ground herself.

“I'd be lying,” he told her simply with a light shrug. “And I like to fancy myself an honest man, because the truth is…” he dipped his tongue into her navel for a second before lifting his eyes to hers as he finished. “I want this very much.”

Quickly, he jerked her leggings and underwear down to settle around her knees, then a sweep of his arm had everything on his desk skittering to the floor, and he lifted her by her waist with his massive hands, spinning in the chair to deposit her on the wooden furniture with her legs dangling over the side.

He slunk down onto his knees in front of her, peeling off her boots, first one, and then the other. He set them aside and slowly worked her pants down her legs, glancing up at her.

“You have no idea how much I’ve been wanting this,” Rey confessed in a husky whisper, scissoring her legs to help him in his task. Thank goodness his desk was warm, she wasn’t sure she could handle something cold against her burning skin right now. Distantly, as he worked off her boots, she thought of another pair hiding somewhere in his house. “I thought about you all break long.”

She sucked in a breath then, wondering if she’d said too much. She hadn’t told him _how_ she had been thinking of him, but she knew he was smart enough to guess. Would he think that was weird? Clingy? Off-putting?

“Oh really? What were you thinking about?” He asked with a smirk, leaning forward to trail his mouth along her knee, slowly searching upwards. “You're clean?” He hadn't really been worried about it with a condom on, but if he was going to go down on her, then herpes was the last thing he needed.

“I’ve only been with Finn,” she replied, as if either of them needed the reminder. Suddenly remembering what landed them in this situation in the first place, she nodded. Jessika had dragged her to a clinic immediately, just to be sure that scumbag Finn and his asshole boyfriend hadn’t passed something on to her sweet, innocent bestie. “But yeah, clean. You?”

“Mhm, clean,” he nodded. Curving his hands around the backs of her knees, he yanked her forward until even more of her was hanging off. He slid her legs over his shoulders and leaned in to kiss her inner thighs, moving his way upwards. “I've been thinking about this…” he breathed against her. “I was told you've never had this done before.”

Suddenly, he was on her, licking a slow, broad swipe against her, reaching her clit at the end of it, lingering to give it extra attention before he repeated the motion, rolling his eyes up to look at her and gauge her reaction. He wasn't her first dick, but he would be her first oral.

“Kylo!” she gasped, her hands flying to his hair to try to yank him away. “You don’t--you don’t have to do-- _oh!_ \--do this!” She squirmed beneath him, her face burning bright. Finn never wanted to do this for her, it was always something he’d promise to do _later_ so she’d eventually given up hope. It wasn’t essential to love making, she knew that, so she never pressed the issue. She was just going to go her whole life without experiencing it. Was it that horrible to consider? She’d long since decided that she’d trade lifelong happiness with Finn over some lewd sexual act she wasn’t even sure she’d enjoy that much.

He paused at the tugs on his hair, asking, “Do you _want_ me to stop?” His breath was hot against her, and her smell was filling his head, making him dizzy. As much as he may have wanted to continue despite her protests, he wasn't one for dubious consent, so he waited for her to answer, his fingers lightly stroking along the outside of her thighs, where they were pressed against the sides of his head.

“I--I just--I’m fine if you don’t want to do this. It’s fine,” Rey replied. “I know that some guys think it’s a...chore, so, please, you don’t have to if you don’t want to just because I’ve never done it before.”

“Rey,” he sighed, closing his eyes at how fucking precious she was. “Oral is one of my favorite things. It absolutely is _not_ a chore, and anyone that thinks it is deserves to be shot, because this--” he spread her legs wide to expose her. “This is where I want to be. But only if you want me here too.”

Rey squeezed her eyes shut tight and dipped her head back so she wouldn’t have to look him in the eye as she said, “I do. Please.”

“Please, what?” He asked, looking up the line of her body to watch the flush creep across her throat.

Fuck him for being a teacher, she thought darkly. “Please eat me out, Professor.”

“Mmm, good girl,” he murmured as he dove back into her. He licked and sucked at her, paying close attention to her reactions. He still couldn't quite believe that she hadn't experienced this before in her relationship, but if he’d be damned if he didn't make it memorable.

Grasping her hips tightly, he held her in place as he wrapped his lips around her clit and sucked, lightly at first and then increasing in intensity until he was humming against her.

Rey bucked her hips against his mouth at the vibrations he was sending through her. So _this_ is what she had been missing? Damn, she should have at least insisted Finn try _once_. Although it was best that Kylo was the one doing it, she decided somewhere deep beneath the fog of her lust-addled mind. Kylo was as great of a professor as he was a student, learning the cues from the tiny noises she made as she fell into this new experience headlong. She purred and whimpered and moaned, one hand remaining in his hair while her other palmed at her nipple beneath her bra.

“Please keep doing that, Professor. Just like that. Please. Oh _god,_ ” Rey panted. She craned her neck back up to look down at him and felt an entirely new wave of heat and liquid flush her body as she took in the sight of him between her legs, his dark hair mussed by her hands, his face buried against her.

She’d lied before. _This_ was the most erotic thing to ever happen to her in her life.

If he could describe Rey in words, it was that she tasted sweet. Not sweet like candy, but sweet the way the scent of a flower is, light and invigorating, filling his senses. He sucked her hard and brought his other hand down, plunging a finger deep within her, working it in and out quickly, adding another soon after until she was tight around him and he could feel her stretching to help accommodate the thickness of his fingers.

He played her body, listening to the sounds she made as she edged closer. He lifted his eyes, feeling her watching him, and he revelled in the knowledge that it was _him_ doing this to her. She was going to come on _his_ fingers, going to coat _his_ tongue with her juices. She was so wet as it was and he was almost struggling to keep up with it. Fuck, this was so hot.

 _Fuck, this is so hot_ , she thought as they locked eyes. There was something about the way his dark eyes, entirely black now, locked with hers as he did such deliciously sinful things to her with his mouth and tongue. Her whole body shivered at that, the hand at her breast squeezing it hard while the hand in his hair tugged him in closer.

“More. Please. I’m so close. Please, Professor. Please make me come all over your face.” Rey had no idea who _that_ girl was, although she vaguely recognized her from seducing Kylo in a bar. Was this her long-lost self esteem taking over? Or was it simply her hoe side, thrilled at being set free. As Kylo’s teeth grazed at her clit, she lost all of the thoughts in her mind. Nothing else mattered but this feeling. “Please, please, _please.”_

He could feel the way her thighs were trembling, shivers spreading throughout her body. She was so close, so. fucking. close. He could almost taste it. He added a third finger and swiveled them to press against her g-spot, thrusting roughly over and over again. The pads of his fingers dragged sharply against that area and he lifted his mouth just enough to say, “Be a good girl and come for me, Kitten.”

He was hard and aching in his own pants, his cock begging for freedom, to pound into her relentlessly until she screamed for him. But this would do for now. Shit, did he even have a condom?

“Ah--I’m--ah--ah--ah--com--!!!” She threw her shirt over her mouth and screamed into it, the practical side of her reminding that she was in an office in her school and someone could very well hear them. She was glad she had Kylo’s shoulders to brace her shaking thighs on, her abdomen spasming violently as she shook with her orgasm. Little tremors jolted through her body, tears in her eyes, ones she welcomed. This was insane. “I--I--,” she whimpered weakly, her mind swimming.

He licked her through her orgasm, grinning like a cat who’d just gotten the cream. And he absolutely had. Slowly, he lifted his head from between her thighs and smirked up at her, moving his hands up and down her smooth legs. He bent back down to place a tender kiss between her thighs one more time before gently stripping her legs from his shoulders, setting her feet lightly on the floor. Rising to his own, he braced his hands on the desk on either side of her head and hovered over her, taking in her blissed out expression. “You okay?”

Rey opened her eyes slowly (when had they closed? She couldn’t remember) and took in his face, so tender and so proud. God he was beautiful. Her gaze lingered down to his lips, red and swollen and glistening with--there was a heat in her belly almost instantly as she realized that his lips and chin were glistening with _her_. Without a moment’s hesitation, she pushed herself up and pulled his lips down, kissing him with a hungry passion. She didn’t care that she could taste herself, she could taste him just below that. And the combination of them both...she moaned into his mouth, wrapping her arms further down his shoulders in an effort to bring him closer still.

He groaned and let his weight settle over her, one hand sliding into her hair to clutch her against him, his other holding the rest of his body off of her so he didn't completely crush her. He was still wearing his pants, but he couldn't find it in him to care as he rutted against her, feeling her wetness seep into the fabric. This was almost good enough, just feeling the friction against his cock as he kissed her back with equal fervor. Their tongues were dancing together, and wasn't quite sure if it was a battle for dominance, or if she was just _really_ enthusiastic.

“Fuck me, Professor. _Please,_ ” she whimpered as she pulled away from him. She reached between their bodies and grabbed for his belt, making quick work of it. While her core ached at the loss of his dry-humping, it sang at the knowledge that it would soon be full of _him_ again. “This is what I thought about during break. Night after night, coming around my vibrator as I imagined your cock instead. Oh fuck, I missed you--it-- _this._ "

God, he loved hearing those words fall from her mouth. He loved hearing about her fantasies, and as he pulled away--a monumental effort--to go dig through his bag for a condom, he frowned. Where were they? He checked every zipper and every pocket, coming up with nothing. “Fuck,” he lamented. “I don't have a condom. We’ll have to take a raincheck.”

He stood and sighed, the picture of a mess. His belt was unbuckled, his fly was down, and his pants themselves were just barely clinging around his hips, giving a good eyeful of the dark boxers underneath.

“No,” Rey said, pushing up into a seated position. She reached out and began to work his pants down his legs. “You said you’re clean, I believe you. Now fuck. Me. Hard. Professor.”

He felt so lost, watching her work him free of the pants. “I...I've never, without a condom…” he protested weakly. “There can't be any...no surprises. I’ll buy you a Plan B, just to make sure.”

He'd never been in a relationship long enough for things to get serious enough to lose the protection, and now that he was here, with this girl he barely knew, about to raw her, he felt guilty. She wanted it, clearly, but fuck. What if she got pregnant? He couldn't be a father.

So instead of letting his brain overthink too much, he grabbed her and turned her, nearly throwing her back down against the desk. He placed a hand on her upper back to hold her there, his other gripping her hip as he coaxed her to raise her ass higher into the air.

“Are you _sure?”_ He asked weakly, leaning over her to whisper against her ear.

“Positive. Please,” she replied, nuzzling his head with hers in a moment that was far too tender for what was happening.

Taking another deep breath, wondering how in the world this was even happening, he released her hip to guide himself in, pushing past what little resistance her body offered as he rammed his full length into her, bottoming out against her. It brought a primal sounding groan from him, and he pulled back slowly, almost agonizingly so before pumping his hips forward again, hard and fast, just like she claimed she wanted.

Rey clung desperately to the desk, looking for some purchase on the mahogany surface as she was pounded into. She pressed her head to the wood, hoping it would help cover up her moans as she rocked back against him, meeting his powerful hips thrust for thrust.

“Oh god, _yes,_ ” she purred, tingles of pleasure shooting up her spine. “You’re so fucking deep.”

She felt completely different without the latex in the way. She was warm and wet and good god, if he wasn't able to just _feel_ more of her. “I know...fuck, you feel so good,” he told her in a hoarse whisper. He was staring down at her backside in awe, watching the ripples shoot over her body as he rolled his hips against her, searching for the right angle.

He was panting, and his heart felt like it was going to burst from his chest. Honestly, sex had no right to feel this good. His hands were wrapped around her waist, holding her securely in place as he fucked her. “Shit, shit, shit,” he whispered under his breath. He was getting close already, and he still couldn't believe that _she_ was letting _him_ into her most private of places, letting him do _this_ to her. “Thoughts on--on hair pulling?” He grunted between thrusts, wondering if that had been too kinky for her vanilla boyfriend.

“Never--before,” she gasped. She looked over her shoulder at him, momentarily distracted by his massive body looming over her. Fuck, that was hot. “Try.”

Really? She'd never even had that done? God, the poor girl’s sex life must've been extremely unsatisfying. Reaching up, he slid his hand into the chestnut tendrils at the back of her head, twisting his fingers around the strands just a little to get more leverage. He jerked her head back, taking care to be just a little gentle until she'd gotten used to the sensation. His pace against and within her was damn near brutal, and he could swear that the desk itself was slowly shuffling across the floor with each thrust.

“I like that,” Rey gasped, a pleasurable thrill racing down her spine. Any time Finn rolled over in the middle of the night into her hair hurt like a bitch, but having all of it gathered into Kylo’s massive hands and being tugged like that...yeah, she could get behind this. “Harder.”

He let out a low chuckle, “I thought you might.”

Pulling harder, he twisted her head a little so that he could see her profile, watching as her mouth opened into a small little _oh!_ Her lips were truly a sight to behold, reddened and slightly swollen from his kisses. “Touch yourself, Kitten,” he instructed firmly, keeping up with his relentless rhythm. “I know you need more--and I want you to come all over my cock.” He groaned roughly, looking down between them again to where he was slipping in and out of her. Her body was making the best noises, and he knew somewhere in the back of his head, that some women were self-conscious about it, but he loved it. It was just another instrument in the symphony of their act.

If Rey could spare any blood to a blush, she would. Then again, Kylo was a teacher, so commanding others probably came easily to him. And he seemed to understand her body so well already, learning so much from only the two times he occupied space there. And it was absolutely heavenly to feel him inside of her, without the awful latex separating their bodies. She would worry about her birth control later, for now, she was in bliss.

She moved to support her upper body on one elbow, forehead pressed to forearm, as her right hand snuck down her frame to find her clit, as instructed. Her spine arched for a moment as her fingers slipped over the sensitive bundle, her mouth moving to bite down on her arm as she tried to muffle her cry of pleasure. It was almost too much. It was everything.

“Come inside me, Kylo. _Please._  I want it,” she whimpered. She had no idea why she wanted to feel something so...so _intimate_ with this man she barely knew, but some primal part of her was screaming to be full of his come.

She really should have paid attention in freshman psych.

Cursing loudly, he faltered. He’d been planning to pull out and coat her ass in his come, but now, _now_ he was going to do it deep within her body. He rode her through her orgasm, feeling her go boneless and limp beneath him in her ecstasy, her walls fluttering around him, clenching down on him as it fought to keep him inside. With one final push of his hips until he was completely immersed in her, spilling his seed right against her end. He cried out, a strangled sound in between a shout and a moan, her pussy still convulsing around him, pulling his spend in even more.

He placed one hand on her back to support himself, the other on the desk by her shoulder, his breath coming in ragged gasps. “Fuck,” he whispered softly, hanging his head, eyes closed in bliss.

“Oh. My. God,” Rey panted. “I had no idea sex could...it could be like...like _that.”_  She turned her head towards him, her eyes still a bit unfocused, her breath still coming out in little puffs. “Fuck.”

Giving her an exhausted smile, he leaned over to kiss her cheek gently, pulling away from her. “I have no words to describe _that,_ ” he said breathlessly, leaning down to grab the box of tissues he normally kept on his desk--which was now lying on its side on the floor. He plucked a few out of it and moved back to her, cleaning her up with soft strokes before he cleaned himself up.

Pulling his pants back up, leaving the fastenings undone, he flopped into the chair and rested his head back, eyes shut as he worked on steadying his breathing. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Rey stumbled for a moment as she looked for her things, finding her underwear and leggings underneath his desk. Kylo must have kicked them down there in his haste to turn her over. She nudged him and his chair out of the way as she got on her hands and knees, reaching out for the garments.

“Not at all,” Rey said from beneath the desk.

“Good.” He nodded happily, only to freeze at a knock on the door. “Shit!” he hissed, looking at Rey. “Stay down there.”

“What!? I'm just in my _bra!_ ” Rey hissed back, gathering her leggings and bra to her chest.

To the door, he called, “Hang on!” Standing quickly, he quickly fixed his pants and made quick work of putting everything back on the desk, making sure that it looked like he was just messy and hadn’t just had sex on it. “You’d better hurry up and get dressed, then,” he muttered to her as he bent to pick up some pens, tossing them haphazardly into a drawer.

Once it looked somewhat okay, he ran a hand through his hair as he made his way to the door, only to stop when he saw the white fabric of her shirt laying on one of the bookshelves. When had that even come off? He grabbed it quickly and chucked it to her under the desk.

They were so screwed--he just had to hope that whoever it was wouldn’t notice the disarray of his office, or if they did, then perhaps they’d just think he was unorganized.

Opening the door, his breath caught when he saw who it was. Hux, looking annoyed and put off. “So good of you to come to the door,” he said cooly, pushing past Kylo.

 _Just don’t look under my desk and we’re okay, we’ve got this,_  Kylo thought to himself, leaving the door open as he turned to face the redhead. “What can I help you with?”

Hux was surveying the room with a critical eye, clearly taking in the desk and a few things that Kylo had missed on the floor. Looking to him, Hux ran his gaze over him, raising an eyebrow at his dishevelled state. “Have you forgotten the board meeting? Your mother sent me to collect you.”

Glancing at the time, Kylo’s eyes went wide. Shit, he had completely forgotten about that. “I’ll be there. Just give me a few minutes. I need to...clean up,” he offered lamely.

Hux looked around the room again before finally settling on the desk. Kylo’s eyes followed to the spot, where he saw a shadow moving under the edge, just opposite where Rey was, like she was on the other side of a door.

Yep, they were screwed. Hux stepped in towards him, and Kylo met the other man’s hardened gaze head-on. “Careful, Ren, that your personal interest not interfere with the task at hand.” Kylo’s hands curled into fists as Hux slid one last look at the desk before he swept out of the room, having the grace to close the door behind him.

Hastening to lock it quickly, Kylo rushed back over to where Rey was, helping her up. “Well, that went...worse than expected,” he said, avoiding her eyes.

“ _Please_ tell me you have his undying loyalty or some serious dirt on him or something,” Rey said, smoothing her shirt back down.

“Neither, unfortunately. Hux isn’t loyal to anyone but himself, so you can guarantee that if he needs something, he’ll hold that over my head.” Kylo frowned and looked her over. Something was missing...scanning the room, he realized her vest was in a heap on the floor, luckily somewhat hidden on the other side. He picked it up and brushed it off before handing it back to her. “Again, I’m sorry. I just...don’t seem to have any type of control with you.” He sighed heavily and grabbed his jacket, throwing it on.

“I'm fine with that,” Rey replied, sliding the vest back on. “Because the feeling is mutual. Or did you forget who just seduced who?”

He laughed nervously, running a hand through his hair. “I never would've thought I'd be so easy that a massage would get me going.”

Rey smirked at him, running a hand through her hair to shake it out. “I never thought I’d like my hair being pulled.” She then blushed to remember what else she’d tried new today. “And the um...other thing. So, I guess we both learned something today?”

“You'd be surprised what you find you like with more experience. Not knocking the ones you have or anything,” he added quickly, not wanting to offend her. “And you...you taste really good.” He felt his face heating just a little. Why were they still talking about this? The sex part was over. Usually this kind of talk never lingered afterwards.

“Thanks,” Rey blushed harder, tucking some hair behind her ear. “I’d love to return the favor. That _is_ one of the sexual experiences I have. And I apparently do pretty okay.”

“One day,” he said, nodding. One day when she wasn't his student? This was getting out of hand. “Uhm, we should probably talk about this later, when I have more time. I have to get to that meeting. But…” He scribbled his phone number down on a sticky note and handed it to her. “Maybe tonight?”

Rey accepted the note and tucked it into her hand, clenching it closely like a lifeline. Her heart was twittering. Tonight? He _already_ wanted to see her again? She must be a pretty okay lay if he wanted a repeat performance so soon. Or else he was at least amused by her?

“I’ll give you mine, too,” Rey said, reaching for the post-it and writing her own number down. “Just text me when...if you still want to.”

“I will,” he nodded, pulling out his own phone, immediately inputting her number. Moving to the door, his hand slid across her rear as he brushed by her. Opening it, he looked out and made sure that there wasn’t anyone in the hall. Satisfied, he pointed with his chin. “Time to go,” he said, wiggling his keys.

Rey rolled her eyes. “I take back what I said before.”

“What? That I'm not an asshole?” He tilted his head, grinning at her.

“No, that you’re sexy. You’re just a big dork,” Rey said. But she was unable to hold her fake scowl and instead she laughed. “Or maybe you’re a sexy dork.”

“Maybe I am. You _do_ know almost nothing about me, after all.” He locked the door behind them, casually strolling with her through the halls. He glanced at the awards and honorable mentions for some of the professors, sliding his eyes over to the name plaques outside of the doors. He didn't speak with many other instructors, mainly leaving that for when he absolutely had to.

“You know almost too much about me,” Rey mumbled, frowning. He was right. She knew nothing about him. She barely knew how he was as a professor since she’d only been in class with him one day. Their interactions were limited to a coffee spill and two amazing fucks.

Looking down at her from the corner of his eye, he raised a brow. “Do you wish I didn't?”

“Kind of? Although we’re going about this whole...whatever a bit wrongly, I think, anyway,” Rey replied as honestly as she could.

“Then what's the right way?” he asked curiously. Oh, do enlighten him. What is the _proper_ way to sleep with a student?

“I’m not sure exactly, but I’m pretty sure watching the other person sob uncontrollably several times isn’t part of it,” Rey reasoned. She paused a moment, glancing up at him. “I’m sorry if you ever feel like I’m...I’m using you too much. In any way that means. You can always tell me no, I would understand.”  

“I’m used to it,” he said, not looking at her. It was true. He was used to being used, and using other people in turn. It was what he did. He turned the corner, coming to the door to an unused lecture hall, where the meeting was set to take place. He turned to her, jaw working like he wanted to say something. Instead, he just dipped his head at her, “This is where I leave you. See you in class tomorrow, Rey.”

“Kylo, wait, we should--” Rey’s concern was promptly cut off by the approach of an older gentleman.

“Ben, wait a second,” the older man said, looking like he'd been in a hurry as he came to a stop. He looked over at Rey in a hurry, raising an eyebrow at her before looking back to Kylo.

“Dad--” Kylo warned, about to protest the use of his former name.

Han shook his head, holding up a hand. “No, I'm not going to address you as that. Sorry, kiddo.” He turned to look at Rey, seeming to remember she was there. “Who’s this?”

“Just a student,” Rey said, ducking her head in embarrassment as she dashed away.

Pointing his thumb over his shoulder at where Rey had disappeared, he gave Kylo a glare. “That better have been _just a student_ or we’re going to have a serious problem.”

Rolling his eyes, Kylo huffed. “ _Just_ a student. Now what do you want? I'm already running late as is.”

“Your mother wanted me to invite you to dinner on Sunday. She's making some new chicken dish. I forget the name of it. Supposed to be super fancy,” Han said as he shoved his hands into his pockets, looking uncomfortable.

“No, I'm not going to go to dinner. Sorry,” Kylo growled. He had no interest in his family. He was only at this university because it was one of the best in the country. And becoming a professor there meant he'd had to change his name so that no one would think he was hired out of favoritism because both his mother and father worked there as well. Leia and Han were both prestigious professors of their fields before his mother had moved higher up in the school political hierarchy.

“Come on, you can't stay away forever. She misses you. We both do,” Han said, grimacing. He looked like he wanted to reach a hand out, and to avoid it, Kylo stepped back.

“Just stop. You didn't want anything to do with me as a kid. Stop acting like you do now,” Kylo growled, turning his back to the older man as he let himself into the room, letting the door bang shut behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOOHOOOOO, MORE SMUT!!!!
> 
> With a dash of Hux AND Han. Lol.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was an edit made to the chapter. I screwed up and only posted about half the chapter, so here you go. Make sure to read it before continuing on. :)

Rey was settled on her couch, doing her best to pointedly ignore her phone charging on the coffee table. Jessika was gone, doing something or another, Rey wasn’t quite sure. She mindlessly scrolled through Facebook and Tumblr, absently going through her Pinterest and deleting her boards. She didn’t need the wedding one. Or the honeymoon one. Or the nursery one.

She picked at the food on her plate, the grilled cheese and tomato soup she’d made for herself. Except that the soup was cold and the sandwich was torn up into little shreds instead. She _had_ been trying to eat more, as Kylo and Jess demanded, but it was hard. Nothing sounded good. She just wasn’t hungry. Although she was beginning to get to the point where her not-eating was making her sick, often finding herself dry heaving after a particular spell of dizziness, so she figured she should try.

It was almost 9. She’d already finished what little homework her more gungho professors had assigned on the first day of class. She could maybe go to sleep? She looked at the little piece of paper with Kylo’s number on it and chewed her lip. She should call him, or at least text him. He said he was used to getting used. What did that mean?

She was just closing her laptop down for the evening when she heard her phone sound a notification.

_ <So about earlier> _

_ <What did you have in mind?> _

Rey thought about it for a minute, wondering if this was still wise. Not that anything they had done at all so far fell under such a category…

< _I’m up for anything > _

_ <And yes, I ate already> _

She figured she should get that question out of the way. She _had_ , after all. Two whole bites. It was eating.

_ <Good girl.> _

_ <All of it? What'd you eat?> _

Rey winced. Fuck him for knowing. Must be a stupid teacher’s intuition or something.

< _Grilled cheese and tomato soup_ >

She would not be answering the first part of the question.

_ <Good choice, can't go wrong with that.> _

_ <Are you busy?> _

< _My, my, Professor. It’s 9PM on a school night_ >

< _Good girls are going to bed right now_ >

Rey chewed the nail on her thumb as she waited for a response.

_ <I'm not asking you to go anywhere, Rey.> _

_ <Just wondering if I should worry about any prolonged silences.> _

_ <What do you want THIS to be?> _

Rey’s heart began to thud heavily in her chest.

< _I don’t know_ >

< _But I do know that I want you, however you want me back_ >

Fuck, why did she have to be so honest sometimes?

_ <Why me?> _

_ <Because you’re not an arsehole, and you have had every opportunity to do so so far> _

_ <Except our first meeting. You were an arse then> _

_ < ;p > _

_ <That was an accident and you know it!> _

There was a pause until another text came through.

_ <I'm not a good guy, Rey.> _

_ <I don't want you getting your hopes up for anything and then be let down.> _

Rey’s brow furrowed at that.

< _Is this remorse over fucking Jess or something? > _

_ <or are you just not interested in me like that?> _

_ <you can just say. I'm old enough to handle that.>   _

_ <Like what?> _

Well...she had been pretty honest so far…

< _Like, like a person you want to see more of > _

_ <Regularly> _

_ <And maybe kiss and touch and fuck> _

_ <Regularly> _

She sighed, continuing on.

< _But I know you don't really do relationships so it's fine. > _

_ <I’ve never been in a serious one.> _

_ <I do want to see you again, though.> _

_ <Outside of class.> _

_ <I could teach you> _

Rey just about threw her phone across the room once her thumbs typed those treacherous words. What the fuck was she doing?

_ <I don't know what I'm doing.> _

_ <I'm not cut out for any relationships.> _

_ <We all have our problems, right?> _

_ <That’s kind of the beauty of a relationship.> _

_ <You have someone to work on them with.> _

_ <Someone who will support and help you.> _

As Rey waited for his response, she wondered where that had gone wrong with her and Finn. If he had started feeling new things, why hadn't he told her? Hadn't she proven her loyalty over their time together? Hadn't she proven herself to be someone he could trust to help him in _any_ situation? She guessed having those kinds of feelings would have been hard to admit to his girlfriend, but couldn't he have at least tried? _Before_ he cheated?   

_ <And if I break your heart?> _

< _I’ve had it broken before. > _

She wasn't sure what else there was to say, what he was even angling for. Were their hearts even involved in this? Or rather, was his? He’d shown the capacity to care about her so far, but most of that was no more than she would expect from any concerned member of the faculty. The only difference was that he had also slept with her, twice, but she knew that didn't mean anything. Sex could be meaningless. It could be just about a release, just about having fun. It didn't _have_ to mean that you loved the other person. Even if her stupid, aching heart did want to immediately latch onto the next person who showed her a modicum of kindness...and his cock…

________________

 

Sitting propped up against his headboard, papers strewn across his lap, the television on in the background, Kylo reread Rey’s last text over and over, absorbing the words.

He knew she'd had her heart broken; he'd seen the aftermath of it first-hand, and he didn't want to be responsible for it happening again. Jessika's words from so long ago popped into his head:

_She loves fiercely._

That she did. One would have to be completely blind not to see it.

He just didn't know what he would do if they kept up their tryst and she started to feel for him. It had happened with his hookups in the past, and he'd run away as fast as possible. What would happen if that happened? He'd still have to see her every other day for class unless she decided to drop. And then what?

Sighing heavily, he pressed the phone icon in the texting thread and held the phone up to his ear.

 _“_ Hullo?” Rey had to smack herself for answering on the first ring. Was she really this pathetic?

“I don't want to hurt you,” he said quietly, staring at the wall in his bedroom.

Rey felt her heart drop at his tone of voice. He sounded so...so sincere. So tender and concerned. Her heart squeezed. “I...I know that. But we,” she sighed past the lump in her throat, “we don't _know_ how this will even end. Not that I’m picturing a white picket fence and 2.5 kids with you or something, but who knows? Maybe it will end amicably? Or maybe I’ll break your heart.”  

“Maybe,” he agreed. “So what do you want to do about it?”

“Try?” Rey attempted.

He was quiet for several moments, debating his answer carefully. He could hear her faint breathing on the other end of the line, reminding him that she was still waiting for him to say something. “All right. We can try...whatever this is.”

Rey felt her breath catch in her throat but she recovered quickly. “Boundaries?”

“Nothing at school. I mean it. As fun as it may be to bend you over my desk, we nearly got caught today.“ His heart felt tight, fear making it beat just a bit faster in his chest. What was he doing?

“That makes sense,” Rey agreed quietly. “And we can't be seen in public together, at least in this town.” She paused to consider what that meant. They would either have to drive to another town to go out together or just...just limit their interactions to fucking. Could she handle that? They’d already done it twice and she already wanted more. So much more. Her stupid heart was used to being the center of someone’s universe and she was going to have to battle with it to calm the fuck down and take what it got.

“Sounds like there's going to be a lot of take-out in our future, then,” he said lightly, trying to make a joke out of it. He usually resorted to humor when he was uncomfortable, as a coping mechanism. Maybe his responses were inappropriate at times, but he didn't really know how else to handle it. How on Earth had he made it as a professor so far?

She cracked a smile at that and her stupid, not-listening-to-logic heart gave an excited flutter. “I love take out. It's so much nicer to get to eat food you didn't have to make in your sweats.”

She banished away the image of her and Finn sitting in his couch, Chinese food in their hands and Rey wrapped in his arms, laughing together at the TV. Nope. None of that intimate shit here.

“Do you cook at all?” He asked suddenly, imagining her in his kitchen, helping him prepare dinner.

“I can. Yeah. I'm pretty good at scavenging things together to make something passable,” Rey said. “You?” Damn, the mental image of him cooking was...maybe he still wanted to see her tonight?

“I can cook,” he laughed. “It’s not ways the greatest, and I may make enough pasta to feed a small village, but I think it’s okay.” He paused, listening to the sound of her muffled laughter. “Would you perhaps want to come over on Friday? I'll make spaghetti, so you can bring about fifty of your closest friends.”

Tomorrow was Wednesday...that was a long time to wait. But at least it wasn’t as long as the wait from prior to Christmas break to now.

“Sounds like a date,” Rey agreed. It was hard to balance the disappointment of not seeing him tonight with the excitement to see him later.

“Is that not okay? You sound disappointed.” Had he asked something wrong? Was he already fucking this up?

“I’m fine,” Rey hastened to excuse. “I just...well, we probably _should_ get some sleep. You’re teaching my class tomorrow morning.”

“We _should,”_ he said, a wicked idea coming to mind. “You're alone, right?”

“Um, yeah? I have no idea where Jess went off to tonight,” Rey replied, looking around the apartment as if to confirm.

“Good.” He pushed his sweats down his legs, wrapping a hand around himself to give a few languid pumps. “Because I'm thinking about you.”

“You are?” Rey asked, a tiny gasp. “What--what are you thinking about?”

He closed his eyes, resting his head back against the headboard. He could almost imagine her tiny gasp was one of something else over surprise. “How much I want to fuck you again.”

“Yeah?” Rey asked. His voice sounded different. It was deeper...huskier...almost as if…

A little thrill shot through her to even kind of imagine he’d do _that_ on the phone with her. There was no way.

“Mhm,” he grunted, speeding up his pace just a little faster. He could practically hear her blushing over the phone. “Your body is just perfect. I think I like your ass the most. But fuck, you taste so good. Will you let me do that again?”

Rey chewed her lip, a tiny sound, the softest of moans sounding at the back of her throat. “Yes,” she whispered. Oh god, was it hot in here? “Please do.” Her fingers trailed from her lips down to her chest, feeling her heartbeat underneath her fingertips beginning to pound so, so hard.

“Are you wet?” He asked, stroking upwards, rolling his thumb around the tip of his cock to capture any pre-come and smear it back down along his shaft. He was throbbing, and he wanted to ask her to come over right now, but she had classes in the morning. Maybe this would work instead and tide them over until next time.

Rey’s fingers trailed down lower, dipping beneath the waistband on her sweatpants. She wasn’t wearing any panties, so it was easy to slid her fingers against her slit. She gasped a little louder to feel how wet she already was, another tiny cry escaping her lips as she brushed over her clit, her body jolting.

“Yes,” she replied. What was she doing? What were they doing?

“Good. Touch yourself for me. Imagine my fingers doing it, rubbing your clit and filling you up,” he growled, his pulse racing. Slowing his rhythm just a little, he added more pressure on each stroke, squeezing just a little until he made a soft sound as he imagined it was her pussy clenching around him.

“Are you--?” Rey gasped, sliding her fingers along herself. She dipped her middle finger inside of herself for just a moment, moaning softly at the feeling. She ground the heel of her hand against her clit, a shudder passing through her. Oh god.

“Jerking off? I am. Does it bother you?” He listened to her quiet moans, pleased to know that she was doing as she’d been told. He liked having control. It brought out something within him to know that she would willingly submit.

“No. No, I...I like it,” Rey admitted. She slipped another finger inside and cried out a bit louder. “What would--what would you do if we were together right now?” She ground down a bit harder on her clit and let out a shuddering moan.

He sucked in a breath, imagining it. He’d walk in, seeing her splayed out on the couch or in her bed, her hand down her pants. “I’d replace your fingers with mine and pull your shirt up, just enough to see your breasts.” He shivered, remembering how they tasted. “I'd probably suck on one, just until you beg for me to stop, and then go to the other one, fucking you with my fingers all the while.”

She switched her phone to speakerphone, resting it on her chest as she continued to move one hand between her legs while she moved the other under her shirt, palming at her breast. She had scrubbed down completely when she’d gotten home, already convinced he wasn’t going to contact her at all. Now, now her lack of undergarments was a gain. She shivered as her nipple hardened beneath her hand, gently plucking at it with her thumb and forefinger.

“What then?” She prompted.

“I'd make you come. Maybe twice, until you moan for my cock. And _then_ , then I'd give it to you. You're so fucking tight, do you even realize how good it feels?” He squeezed himself harder. He was going to come all too soon at the thought, and he needed to slow down, to prolong this for just a bit longer.

“God, Kylo, you feel so fucking good inside of me,” Rey whimpered, pumping into herself faster. “Your cock is so big, I still can’t believe you fit inside me.” Her fingers were a poor substitute. She needed him. “Fuck, why aren’t you here filling me up?”

He groaned at her words. “I want to be, but you have class tomorrow. Soon, Kitten. Soon,” he promised, resuming the quick movements of his hand. He twisted up near the head, coaxing more liquid to seep out. “Fuck, I'm so hard for you, Rey. It’s almost painful.”

“I want to suck your cock,” she moaned, pulling her nipple harder. “I want to feel you inside my mouth. I want to taste you so much. You did me so good, I need to give it to you.” She’d only had one taste of him before, that brief lick of his pre-come, but she remembered what it tasted like. She’d loved it. She wanted more. Maybe he would rethink his not-at-school rule and let her suck him off in his office?

He envisioned her on her knees for him, taking him deep in her throat. He bet she knew how to use that sharp mouth of hers, too. He'd seen the way she licked her lips, just a quick little flick of her tongue. “Yeah,” he said roughly. “I'd like that. I want to come in your mouth and have you swallow it all. Fuck!” He hissed as his hips thrusted up into his hand, imagining it was her mouth instead. He was breathing hard, and he was close, so close. “I'm going to come,” he ground out between clenched teeth, his voice much deeper from being so near the edge.

“Not yet, baby. You can’t come yet,” Rey said, a hard command to her voice as she pumped her fingers harder. She wished she had been a bit more prepared, she would have brought her vibrator. She was close but not close enough and she wasn’t going to let him get her all keyed up and not be there for her to finish it out, damnit.

It was physically painful to slow down again, to feel his aching cock twitch in despair at being denied release. “I'm going to fuck you so hard next time,” he told her. “You're not going to be able to walk straight for days. Harder than the last two times.” He was capable of it. He'd been going hard, but he hadn't given her everything he had because of her small frame. Now he had a feeling she'd be able to take it. “Add another finger. Now. And fuck yourself.”

She called out as she added a third finger. “It’s not enough. It needs to be you, only you,” she whimpered, even as her orgasm began to build. She’d abandoned her breast and had instead moved her other hand down to give her clit some much needed targeted attention. Her sweats had been pushed down only as far as her arse and she was struggling to get a wide enough range of motion with the band pushing back on her hand, but she didn’t want to stop long enough to shove them down harder.  

He let his voice drop even lower, purposely making it sound like he was right there with her. “Then imagine it’s my cock instead, filling you up, stretching you to the brink. Come around my cock, Rey. Tell me how much you want me, let me hear it.”

Rey brushed her fingers against her g-stop and moaned. “Fuck, Kylo! Please!” She pounded into herself relentlessly, stroking it over and over again. She rubbed her clit just as intensely, panting hard. She could feel her phone on her chest, but she wasn’t exactly aware of where it was. It could slip off at any moment and she wouldn’t notice. She was a bit distracted.

“That's it, good girl,” he praised. “Just a little more. You're almost there. My little Kitten just needs to come. I'll fill you up, don't worry. I'll come deep inside you until it oozes down your legs,” he panted, spurred on again by her moans. She was so fucking close, he could almost taste it.

“Please. Give it to me. I want it. I need it,” she babbled on, thrusting her hips into her fast-moving hands. “God, Professor, _please!_ ”

“Only if you come for me first,” he told her, eyes half-closed. “I need you to come so that I can. And then I'll coat that pretty pussy with my spend, nice and hot--” he broke off with a ragged groan, his hips jerking upwards into his hand. “Fuck!” he shouted, unable to hold himself back any more. He came in scalding spurts all over his hand, some even flying up to coat his bare chest.

“Kylo~!” Rey broke off in something of a song, voice wavering all over the scale as she finally gushed into her hand. She mewled weakly, chin falling to her shoulder as she came down from her orgasm, head spinning and body thoroughly spent. “Check another one off my list,” she weakly joked.

Laughing softly, he nodded along, then spoke, his throat scratchy from being so loud, “That was actually a first for me, too.” He laid back against the bed, unwilling to get up just yet, and he didn't say anything else for a few moments, just content to listen to her heavy breaths steadily slow.

“Really?” Rey asked, voice bright through her haze at the thought of being his first for _anything_. “Wow, I can’t believe you--”

“Hey sweetie, I’m home!” Jessika announced happily.

“Shit!” Rey said, her phone launching from her chest as she tried to right her clothes. She wiped her hands on her pants as she pulled them up and grappled for her phone, hoping Kylo wouldn’t say anything while she tried to get it and switch it off of speaker.

“I brought home some food from my stupid date, I’m going to go heat it up for you. Just _wait_ until I tell you what a terrible lay he was! Ugh, what I wouldn’t give for Professor Ren’s cock again. But fuck that guy, I’m glad we’re done with him and his bullshit,” Jessika said, moving into the kitchen.

Kylo smirked in mild amusement at Jessika’s words, though he wisely kept his mouth shut. Rey wouldn't be able to say anything again for a while, so he instead disconnected the call and sent her a text.

_ <Yes, fuck that guy.> _

_ <I’d love to tomorrow.> _

_ <Maybe suck his cock under his desk while he gives a lecture?> _

Fuck it, she decided. He initiated the phone sex, she supposed there wasn’t a lot of embarrassment left to be had between them.

_ <So naughty.> _

_ <Maybe I'll punish you for such lewd thoughts.> _

_ <Promise?> _

_ <Only if you make me.> _

_ <You should go talk to her. I need to finish a few things and then try to get some sleep.> _

_ <See you in the morning, Professor.> _

_ <Goodnight, Rey.>_

 

_________________

 

This time when Rey dressed for his class, she went for something a little more subtle, yet obvious. She donned a pair of dark rinse skinny jeans and her black riding boots, a royal blue plaid flannel shirt with a cream tank top on underneath, the shirt left completely open. The whole look would have been normal, except that she was wearing a royal blue bra with black lace on underneath, and it was nearly visible beneath the tank top. She could pass it off as an accident, like she had no clue the bra was showing through. She spared a passing worry to the outlines of her vibes, also visible, and was glad that Jessika had been insistent of her eating the leftover pasta.

When she’d thrown up the food afterwards, however, Jessika began insisting that she go visit the school nurse. She’d been too sick for this to simply be grief-sickness. Rey was considering it.

 Pulling her hair half-up, she only bothered with mascara this time, sliding on peppermint chapstick as she made her way to Kylo’s class.

_____________

 

That morning, on his way to the university, he stopped by his favorite bakery and grabbed a couple of muffins. Blueberry and a banana nut one, wrapped carefully and placed into a white paper bag with the company’s logo on the side, along with a bottle of water. He'd also stopped by the pharmacy and gotten the promised Plan B pill, tucking it securely into the bag with the muffins.

As he entered the classroom, he zeroed in on the spot that Rey had perched herself in last time and set the bag on the desk, taking a sharpie to it to write her name along the seal.

All that taken care of, he went to the front of the classroom and began to pull out his lecture notes, planning on actually starting off with a lesson and assignment today. He was scribbling on the board when the students finally began to trickle in.

Rey came down the steps and hesitated to see there was something on the desk she had occupied on the first day, wondering if someone had already taken her seat. One of the other girls, maybe. She was already noticing that the girls were trying to fill the front, each of them vying to be in their professors immediate gaze. When Rey realized that the bag had her name on it, written in his distinctly beautiful script, she smiled. He wouldn’t see them, he would be looking at her instead. Even if she moved to sit in an obscure seat somewhere near the back, he’d only see her.

Opening the bag, she rolled her eyes to see the muffin. How had he known she liked banana nut? Peering down further, she saw a box. Retrieving the muffin, which she settled next to her tea, she closed the white bag tightly and tucked it in between her other books. She’d get to that when she had the time.

Facing the class, he took them all in, doing a mental headcount. There were a few missing, so maybe they were either late or they'd decided to drop the class. He hadn't gotten any notifications yet, so he was betting they'd been up too late and were still sleeping.

A moment later, he realized the majority of the female students were crowing the front of the room. Not this again.

“Good morning, everyone,” he said, making his voice just a bit louder for the people in the back. “I'm glad to see you're all still here.” His eyes narrowed in on Rey as he said that before flicking away, not wanting to give the impression that he was focused on just one person. But he was; he'd seen her bra through her shirt, and instantly he'd known what she was doing.

“Today, we’re going to do a little writing assignment. I'm going to give you a prompt, and you'll have fifteen minutes to write something based on that prompt. I'll collect them and read them, then we’ll go over some feedback.”

Rey sighed. Great. She hated creative writing, and creatively writing _poetry,_ based on a stupid prompt in just fifteen minutes? That was about as terrible as she could imagine an assignment being. She wanted to just go into the Engineering building and mess with something, use her hands. In Kylo’s class, she couldn’t use her hands. Well...she smirked wickedly, thinking of the few ways she _could_ use her hands in Kylo’s...class.

Seeing Rey sigh, he raised an eyebrow at her. “Something wrong, Miss Niima?”

“I’m just...very excited for this very exciting assignment,” Rey said, causing some of the girls around her to giggle.

Giving her a stern look, he shook his head before turning to write the prompt on the board.

In his elegant script, he spelled out a single four-letter word: Fear.

“Write about fear. What scares you? What would you do if you came face to face with the thing you fear the most? Your time starts now.” He leaned against the desk, reaching behind him to fiddle with the pens.

“Does it have to rhyme, Prof?” One of the guys from the back asked.

“No, it doesn't have to rhyme,” he said without looking up.

Rey rolled her eyes. Even _she_ knew that all poetry didn’t rhyme. She wondered if that guy was a freshman or something, trying to sound cool. He’d learn, she reasoned.

She stared down at her paper, thinking about what scared her. She scoffed, realizing the myriad of things in her life that scared her, thinking about her childhood horrors, about the possibility of facing any of that again. Her heart gave a dull ache when she thought of her other fear, of the idea that no one would ever love her like Finn once did, that she would never have a child and a family and a real home.  Her stomach twisted as she thought of a new fear...that Kylo would move on from her to one of these other girls.

Instead of facing any of those things, she wrote about her fear of driving so fast she would crash her car and die, but not right away, mercifully, but instead writhing in pain until the paramedics finally came and got so, so close to freeing her before it ended. It was probably a bit too dark of a topic, but it didn’t hurt as much as any of the others. She figured it would suffice.

While they were working on the assignment, Kylo alternated between observing them and thumbing through his papers. He knew the class itself was boring, but there were only so many ways to present the information he was required to teach.

He watched them all, but his attention was mostly on Rey, seeing her head ducked down, her face twisted in concentration as she wrote about something that scared her. There were two kinds of students; ones who shared every dark detail about their lives and those that didn't share anything, keeping their stories down to the bare minimum to avoid giving anything away.

As he called for time, he walked around to begin collecting the pieces of paper.

Some of the other girls handed theirs to him, making _sure_ that their fingers brushed his. He ignored them, face impassive. It wasn't the first time students had made advances towards him, and it wouldn't be the last.

Rey scoffed at the ridiculous girls who were fluttering their eyelashes at him and trying to push their breasts more into his view. Who did they think they were? He wasn’t interested in them...right? Studying his face, she felt some relief to realize that he looked just as annoyed as she was.

Moving around the room until he finally reached Rey, he took her paper and gave her a very small smile, very professional looking and not at all giving any clue about what they'd done the night before.

He walked past her to get the papers from the guys in the back, ignoring the comments made about how stupid this was. They could leave at any time; he wasn't forcing them to stay.

“While I'm taking a look at these, feel free to talk amongst yourselves. Won't take me long.”

Rey peeled the wrapper of her muffin, pulling a little piece off with two nuts on it, slipping it into her mouth. It was good. She would have to find out where Kylo got it from, so she could have move. Washing it down with a sip of her tea, still so warm in her insulated cup, she nearly spat it right back out when someone appeared at her side.

“Hey, Rey.”

“Oh! Hi, Jesse,” Rey finally swallowed. “I didn’t even realize you were in this class with me.”

Jesse was in her major, her same age. He was always nice to her, not like some of the others who had spent the last two and a half years giving her shit.

“Hey. I was really sorry to hear about you and Finn,” Jesse said, kneeling down beside her.

“Thanks, Jesse. That’s really nice of you,” Rey said, pulling the muffin apart a bit. It was good, but she still couldn’t stomach too much of it.

“Yeah, well, I was thinking that maybe we could do something later?” Jesse suggested, dark blue eyes looking hopefully at her.

Rey’s breath caught in her throat. “Oh. Um. Wow.”

Freezing when he heard someone ask her on a date, Kylo slid his eyes over to watch her, trying to decipher her expression. Pen poking out of his mouth, he let it bob up and down as he waited for her answer.

Rey forced herself not to look at Kylo, even if she could feel his gaze burning into her.

“That’s _really_ sweet of you, Jesse, but...um...I think it might be a little soon? Finn and I just broke up at break,” Rey floundered.

“Oh! No! Sorry, Rey, no, I don’t want you to think that I’m trying to like, you know, get in your pants while you’re sad and desperate or anything. I’m not that kind of a guy,” Jesse said, loud enough to alert some of the other students around her.

Looking back down at the papers with a smirk, Kylo let Jesse dig himself into a hole. Part of him was immensely pleased that Rey had shot him down, but at the same time, it made him wonder if she was just saying that to get the guy off her back, or if she really did think it was too soon. If so, what the hell were they doing?

“Rey, you know I respect you, right? I just more meant that if you need someone to like, listen to you, I would be happy to help. We’re all a fam, you know? We gotta look out for each other.” Jesse smiled at her, a charming and lopsided thing as his curly brown hair fell forward into his eyes.

For a moment, Rey remember that Jesse was cute. _Really_ cute. However, the man who was doing his hardest not to very clearly listen in to this conversation was much more desirable.

“That’s really sweet of you, Jesse. I’ll keep that in mind. But I’m sort of...occupied right now. Mentally, I mean. A break up is a lot to go through,” Rey said, trying to sound as neutral as possible.

To his credit, Jesse’s smile remained. “Of course, Rey. You still have my number, right?” At her nod, he smirked. “Just let me know, girl. I’m here for you. Day or night.” He reached out to give her arm a squeeze, his eyes trailing down briefly to her chest before snapping back up to her eyes. He gave her a little wink and moved back to his seat.

“I bet you are,” Kylo muttered under his breath around the pen before straightening and addressing the class. “All right, back in your seats. For the most part, these are pretty good. If there was one thing I noticed, it was the lack of creativity when it came to describing things.” He paced across the front of the room before stopping and lifting up one of the papers. He read a few lines from it, excluding the name of whoever wrote it for privacy.

“In the words of N.H. Kleinbaum, ‘So avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys--to woo women--and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do. It also won’t do in your essays’.”

Rey snorted a small laugh, while the girls around her all sighed dreamily. Kylo would go on quoting Dead Poets Society. Okay, so maybe he _was_ sort of a douche. But at least the quote was effective.

“And for your homework, you all get to read a book. Isn't that exciting?” He laughed shortly at some inner joke before saying the book and when it needed to be read by. He then launched into a lecture for the rest of the class, using various hand gestures as he walked to further exaggerate his point.

“That's it for today. See you all on Friday,” he finally dismissed.

Rey stood up and gathered her things, wondering how she was going to transport her picked-apart muffin. She didn’t want to waste it, it was too good. And Rey Niima didn’t waste food...even if she hadn’t been able to stomach any of it lately. Okay, maybe she _was_ going to see the school nurse today.

“You okay?” He asked, bending over the desk to pick up the rest of his things. “You look a bit...peaky.”

Rey shrugged. “I’m not feeling super well. Jess has been harassing me to go to the doctor. I think I might.” She looked up at him, alarmed. “Oh god, I hope I didn’t get you sick at all. Are you feeling okay? It’s mostly just nausea, some dizziness.”

“I feel fine. Better than fine, actually. I hope you get to feeling better. I may not dock points like Holdo, but I do get upset when my class is missed.” He narrowed his eyes at her. “Unless you have a good reason.”

“What do you mean, a good reason?” Rey asked, finally gathering as much of the muffin up as she could and holding it in her palm. Maybe she could pick at a bit more.

“Being sick qualifies. So does a death in the family. You know, the usual. But I know you would _never_ willingly miss my class, _right?”_ He was absolutely giving her a hard time now, and he let her know by giving her a wink, before looking down at the muffin in her hand. “You don't have to bring it with you if you don't like it, you know.”

“No! It’s _really_ good. I just don’t have much of an appetite yet, you know that.” She smiled, moving to stand by his lectern. “But I appreciate the gesture. It’s...sweet.” She then smirked, feigning a look of wonder as she said, “I wonder if I could get Jesse to bring me baked goods, too.”

He scowled at that, shaking his head. “I bet he'd be more than happy to, as well. I'm not sure if I should be jealous or not.”

Rey laughed, rolling her eyes. “I’m only teasing you, Kylo. Although I suppose that brings up an interesting query. Are we...is this exclusive?” There was still no name to whatever _this_ was.

He shrugged. “I'm not having sex with anyone else. I have no plans to, either. What you do is your decision.” Somewhere, some selfish part of him hoped that she wouldn't either, while the other part begged her to so that she would find someone who could love her like she needed.

“I wasn’t either,” Rey said quietly. “I don’t know how Jess does it. I can’t imagine...I don’t think I’m cut out for that.” She had to cut herself off, knowing she needed to stop before she said something embarrassing, like how she felt like an emotional connection was necessary before she could lie down for someone. Because if she said that, then she’d have to admit that she felt _something_ for Kylo, although she couldn’t confidently say if it was a real something or if it had all been rebound emotions. But now that she was heading into the thick of it with him, now that they were doing more talking than fucking, she had to wonder if it really was a real emotion...whatever that emotion was.  

“She's very...spirited, let's say,” he gave Rey a knowing smile. What he was trying to say was that Jess was definitely promiscuous and everyone knew it. “I don't have time for more than one person at a time, nor do I really have the interest.” Shrugging, he threw the strap of his bag over his chest and walked to the door with her, holding it open.

“Good,” Rey said, as casually as possible. She didn’t need this getting any more complicated than it sort of already was, so she was glad to hear that he wasn’t interested in adding any other supporting characters to their story.

“Are you sure you're feeling okay?” He asked again, looking down at her, a concerned frown turning the corners of his mouth down. Maybe it was just him, but did he catch the faintest hint of possessiveness in her tone?

“I’m heading to the nurse right now,” Rey said. Maybe she had low blood sugar? Maybe she was anemic? Maybe her depression over Finn really _was_ as severe as everyone seemed to fear it was?

They stepped out into the winter air and Rey shivered, clutching the muffin in her hand as her eyes sought out the most direct path to the main dorm building where the nurse was located. Maybe it was the flu?

Looking down at her, he chewed at the inside of his cheek. “Do you want me to walk you? To make sure you don't fall or anything?”

“That’s nice of you, Professor, but I think I’ll be okay. I’ve walked in snow before, once or twice, I think I’ll be okay,” Rey said. She made her way down the steps of the building and promptly slipped, grabbing the railing for support and tossing the remains of her muffin into the air.

Hand bolting out faster than he'd ever thought possible, he gripped her by the elbow and kept her upright, aided by her grabbing onto the railing. The muffin, on the other hand, was a lost cause, currently in a huge crumby pile all over the stairs. “I think I'll walk you,” he said firmly, making sure she was steady on her feet again as he let go of her, though he kept close to catch her again.

Rey stuffed her hands in her coat pockets and glowered at the ground as they walked. It was embarrassing to slip in front of anyone, much less the guy you were sort of exclusively sleeping with. Thankfully, though, it didn’t look too odd for a professor to be walking with a student across campus. Well, it would have looked less odd if she would just talk to him. But she was too embarrassed to say anything, and the slip had made her heart race and spurned on a bout of nausea that she was doing her best to keep down. She didn’t need to add throwing up to the list of embarrassing shit she’d done in the presence of Kylo Ren.

Why wasn't she saying anything to him? He kept his eyes straight ahead, trying his best not to feel awkward as he escorted her to the nurse’s office. Maybe this was a mistake. He clearly wasn't cut out for whatever this was. He was making a fool of himself, and she was just trying to quietly push him away because she was too nice to do anything else. So as soon as she was safely at the door to the medical wing, he nodded stiffly at her and turned on his heel, walking back in the opposite direction.

“Kylo, wait!” Rey called out, swallowing down the nausea one last time. She tried not to be too loud in the echoing hallway, knowing there were some professors whose offices were unfortunately in this wing. When he stopped and turned towards her, she continued. “Thank you. I’ll--talk to you later? After I’m clear of all medical hazards?”

“Okay,” he said quietly, running a hand through his hair. “I hope everything’s all right. Let me know what the nurse says.” He gave her a tight smile as he turned away again, hands twitching as he fought the sudden urge to touch her somehow. Now was really not the time or place.

Rey turned back towards the nurses office and took a breath. She really hoped this would help.


	10. Chapter 10

< _We need to talk. > _

Rey sent the message to Finn and chewed on her thumb nail, her heart pounding. Well, it hadn’t really stopped pounding since she got to the nurses office. Or maybe it had? She couldn’t really remember. She hardly acknowledged how she’d managed to walk back to her apartment, how she’d gotten upstairs and sunk onto her couch, before her phone was in her hands. She unblocked the number and sent the text and now she could feel again. Anxious. She was feeling anxious.

_ <Omg r u ok??? Jess wuldnt tell me how u were> _

_ <Can you come to my new apartment? Now?> _

_ <Yeah ok. Txt me the address> _

Rey sent the address and then waited. She got up and put the kettle on, hoping it would help calm her nerves. She glanced at the fruit bowl on the counter and contemplated eating some of it. The nurse said she needed to eat. Said it was _important_ to eat. But she couldn’t do it. Not with how her body was feeling. She was convinced she’d never feel well enough to eat again. But she grabbed an apple anyway, picking the smallest of the group, and tried to convince herself to eat it.

The kettle screaming broke her out of a reverrie she hadn’t even realized she’d fallen into, staring blankly as she was at the kitchen counter with the red fruit clenched in her hand. It was followed closely by the knocking of her door. Shaking her head, she moved the kettle first before opening the door.

Finn stood there awkwardly, both hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jeans as he hung his head, perhaps waiting for Rey to finally give him the slap he deserved. “Hey,” he said quietly, shuffling his feet nervously.

“Come in,” Rey said, stepping back to allow him entry. “I’ve just...I just put the kettle on. Did you want some tea?”

“I’m good, thanks.” He entered the apartment, looking around at it. “This is really nice,” he commented, just trying to make small talk to fill the awkward silence. There were little knick-knacks everywhere that he'd never seen before, and he was happy that Rey finally had a space to personalize with things that could stay up year round instead of being taken down when the semester came to an end.

“Thanks. Please, sit down,” Rey said, gesturing ahead to the living room. She left Finn, moving into her kitchen to pour herself some tea. Her hands were shaking as she brought the cup and saucer around into the living room and perched on the opposite end of the couch.

Settling down on the edge of the couch, resting his forearms on his knees, hands clasped together, he looked up when she came back. “How...how have you been?”

She had to say it. She just had to say it. She was going to chicken out if she didn’t say it.

“I haven’t been feeling all that...well, since we broke up. It was hard on me, really, _really_ hard and I haven’t been in a good place since then,” she began.

“Rey…” he pled, trying to capture her eyes with his own. “I never wanted to hurt you. I'm so sorry.”

“Finn, _stop._ That isn’t...it’s not important right now.” She closed her eyes for a minute, taking a deep breath and feeling the shaking in her chest. She opened her eyes on the exhale and looked up at Finn. “Finn, I’m pregnant.”

Blinking slowly, Finn just stared at her like she'd grown a second head, his eyes huge as his mouth opened and closed repeatedly, struggling to put some words out. “I’m--you’re...what?”

Rey scooched forward on the couch, grabbing his hand and placing it to her abdomen. She sighed at how this touched, as forced as it was, soothed her. Tears she was sure were long since gone sprang free into her eyes. She’d missed Finn. She’d missed him so much and now they were...she was…

“Pregnant, Finn. We’re having a baby.” She dropped her hold on his hand and brought one up to brush the tears from her eyes. “Just over two months. What I thought was sickness because I was depressed was really...it was morning sickness. From the baby. Our baby.” She laughed darkly, lip quivering. “Go figure that I finally gave us what we wanted, but you don’t want me anymore.”

His heart was racing, his palms were sweating profusely, and he felt like he might vomit, but not because of anything bad. Instead, he just wrapped his arms tightly around Rey and pulling her into his chest, holding her tightly against him. “Rey, it’s not that I don't want you. I just...I'm wired a bit different. But you will make the best mother to our baby, and I would love to be part of his or her life, if you'll let me. We can still go do family things, even if...even if you and I aren't together…”

She began to cry more, clinging to his shoulders as she sunk into his hold. “I want you to. I really want you to. I love you, I love you so much in any way you’ll let me. And we’re going to love this baby so much that it won’t ever feel like we felt. I don’t care if we’re not married anymore. All I want is you in my life and this child.”

“I love you too, Peanut,” he said, rubbing her back soothingly. “God, this past month has been awful without you there to talk to.” Finn held her even more tightly, feeling her body racking in time with her tears. “You're going to be the best mom.”

Rey sniffled. “And you’re going to be the best dad ever. I’m so happy you’re not...that you don’t want me to…”

He pulled away from her, appalled. “ _Never._ Never that, Rey.” He kissed her forehead unable to stop himself and then ducked his head nervously, afraid he'd gone too far. “I really am sorry about the whole Dameron thing, though…”

“Can we please not talk about that? It’s still...it still hurts, Finn. Let me just,” she sighed, sniffling again, “let me just think about you and me and the baby for right now. No one else matters.”

Her heart panged a moment, bringing a certain towering professor to mind. It didn’t matter, she scolded it. He wouldn’t want to be with her now. But that was okay, because she’d have the baby and some part of Finn.

“Okay, okay, sorry,” he said quickly, sitting on the couch and dragging her down beside him. He tucked her up against his chest, resting his head on hers. “I don't suppose you...wanna go get something to eat?”

Rey snuggled into his chest and she felt that knot of anxiety in her stomach finally relaxing. “I’m not really eating lately. Kylo did bring me a muffin this morning.” She hummed softly and closed her eyes, breathing in his familiar scent and not really thinking about what she was saying.

“Kylo? Who’s Kylo?” Finn pulled back to stare down at her in confusion before his eyes shot up. “You don't mean Kylo...Ren...do you?”

“Hmmm? Yeah, why?” Rey asked, feeling too lulled by his closeness.

“Wasn't he with Jessika? Like... _with_ , if you know what I mean.” He wanted to say he'd heard Poe mention it, but he knew better than to bring up the other man.

“Yeah, he was,” Rey replied, nuzzling up under his chin. “He’s been helping me.” She was so exhausted and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept well. This was nice, this was what was missing.

“Helping you do what?” Finn asked curiously, wrapping the couch throw around her body. Poor thing looked so exhausted and if him being there for even a little bit could help, he would, especially now that he knew she was pregnant with _his_ baby. That was going to be fun explaining to Poe, but the other man would have no choice on the matter. His baby was more important than anything.

“Deal with losing you,” she mumbled quietly. “We slept together.” Her tea was going to go cold if she fell asleep now but sleep sounded so much nicer. “He even...went down...on me…”

Finn went really still, looking down at Rey’s head where it was resting in his lap. “Oh,” he said softly, stroking her hair gently. “Did you like it?”

“Mmmmhmmmmmm…”

“Take a nap, Rey,” he said quietly, leaning back against the couch cushions to rest his head back and close his eyes. He heard her breathing deepen not but thirty seconds later.

_____________

Stepping out of the shower, wrapping a thick towel around his waist, Kylo walked out into his bedroom, immediately checking his phone for any texts or missed calls. There was nothing. Not even a lousy email.

Should he? Maybe...maybe not? He'd been concerned about Rey not eating and then for her to go to the nurse and then him to not hear anything back from her? He was worried.

He was _not_ worried, he tried to convince himself as he toweled off his hair and went to find some pajama bottoms. Nope, he wasn't. Not even a little bit. He hoped she had eaten something.

Hand twitching, he finally reached for the phone, tapping quickly at it.

_ <Are you all right? What'd the nurse say?> _

The wait was torture, and he tried to pinpoint the reason why, with no success.

< _She wants me to eat more. > _

_ <What foods do you like? I'll bring you some.> _

_ <I’m okay, thank you. Finn brought me some food.> _

...Finn? He was back in the picture? Oh. Frowning at the phone, he flexed his hand a bit, pursing his lips into a tight line.

_ <Oh.> _

_ <I’m happy for you.> _

_ <Can we talk? In person, I mean. As soon as possible?> _

_ <Right now?> _

_ <If it’s not an inconvenience to you.> _

_ <It can wait, I guess. Or not. I’m not...I’m not sure> _

_ <I can be there in a bit. Just give me the address.> _

_ <1999 Phantom Dr> _

_ <On my way.> _

He threw on some actual pants instead and grabbed a T-shirt. Honestly, he wasn't that much of a fan casual formal wear, but the job required it, so to be able to get to wear jeans and a short sleeved shirt was freeing.

The actual drive to her place, he spent thinking about wondering what she had to tell him. What on Earth could be so important that he needed to come see her face to face?

Pulling up in her driveway, he got out and went to knock on the door, nerves getting to him as he drummed his fingers against his thigh.

“Kylo,” Rey breathed, feeling a tightness in her chest to see him. He looked...worried? “Please, come in,” Rey said, as if forgetting why he was there in the first place. She stepped back and waited patiently for him to come into her apartment.

Thank God Jessika was spending the night with math-class guy. She was wondering when she was just going to make that official?

Rey led Kylo into the living room and sucked in a breath as Finn stood up from the couch, turning around to face them.

“Professor Kylo Ren, this is Finn Trooper. Finn, this is Kylo.”

Kylo eyed the darker man, finally extending his hand out to shake. “Nice to meet you,” he said, his tone devoid of any warmth. He didn't like Finn. He didn't like what he'd done to Rey, how broken she'd been because of him. But in a way, he had to thank the other man. If Finn had never shattered her heart, then Kylo never would've had a chance with her. A chance to do what? A chance to _be_ what?

Rey hesitated, wondering what she was supposed to do, who she should be standing with. She was already cursing herself for trying to be honest with Kylo, but she didn’t want to just suddenly ghost on him because of something none of them had anticipated. She distantly thought of the Plan B in her bag, of his worry about him being the one to get her pregnant. She wondered where she’d failed in her birth control with Finn. They were so good with pulling out, with avoiding her most fertile days. For a brief, awful moment, she wondered if her subconscious, sensing Finn’s growing distant, did this to them on purpose.

Finally, Rey moved to stand next to Finn, looking up at him with wide eyes as she waited for him to acknowledge Kylo back. There was something in his expression, a twitch in his jaw she had never seen before.

Noting the way Rey went to stand beside Finn, Kylo lowered his eyes to the floor for a moment before lifting them to look around the apartment. This was Rey’s space.

“You too, Professor,” Finn said, his voice just as cold. Looking to Rey, he nudged her gently with his elbow. “Did you want to hurry and tell him, or?”

Kylo’s eyes flashed as they swung to Rey, waiting for her to tell him something about why exactly he was here right now.

Rey turned pale and moved in closer to Finn, grabbing his hand for a sense of comfort. She trembled a little, turning to wrap her other hand around his as well, angling her body almost completely at Finn as if she could just hide behind him and make this go away. But she had to be honest. She had _just_ talked to Kylo about boundaries and expectations and being exclusive and...and...she couldn’t lie to him like this. It wasn’t fair. “I’m scared, Finn,” she whimpered, tears beginning to water in her eyes.

“What are you scared of, Peanut? I’ve got you.” He squeezed her hand tightly and tucked her under his arm.

“What is it? What's going on? Are you two back together? That's fine.” Kylo lied, trying to calm down his own heartbeat. What was happening. What was she so scared of?

“No, kind of...not...not really,” Rey floundered. She felt Finn squeeze her reassuringly again and she swallowed past a lump in her throat. “But there _is_ something you should know. I’m...we’re...pregnant.”

Kylo could feel his face going even more pale than usual, even as his cheeks flamed with something he could only describe as hurt. _“Oh,”_ he breathed, taking a step back. “I see.” His fingers drummed a little faster against his leg, and he began to look around a bit more quickly. He had to get out of here. This was...not the announcement he'd been expecting. “Congratulations. You must be very happy,” he said quickly, his words sounding strangled.

Rey stepped out of Finn’s hold but maintained her hold on his hand, using her other to reach out for Kylo. “I--I found out today. When I went to see the nurse? I’ve only just found out and I just told Finn and I haven’t even told Jessika yet but I wanted you to know because I didn’t want you to think that I was...that I…” she faltered.

“That you what?” he asked quietly, ignoring her hand. His eyes kept getting drawn to her stomach and where there was a life growing inside of her. He felt embarrassed. He didn't know what they were, but he couldn't help but feel rejected, and she kept touching Finn in front of him. Finn, the fucking guy who had broken her heart. Kylo had never treated her with anything but kindness and this was what he got for it. For this girl to just run back to her ex the first chance she got. Sure, she claimed they weren't together, but if she was pregnant, then she was irrevocably tied to Finn now. Right? “How far along?” Obviously there was no way it was Kylo. He'd only had sex with her without a condom a day or two ago.

“Nine weeks,” she whispered. She knew what he was thinking and the look in his eyes made her step back towards Finn again, towards someone who wanted her child. He didn’t want it to be his, and she guessed it was good that it wasn’t. “Kylo, I didn’t know I was pregnant before we...we slept together. I swear I wasn’t trying to use you...like...that.” But, fuck, she had used him, hadn’t she? No matter what he had allowed for, she’d still used him. Maybe she’d be a terrible mother.

He shrugged gently, looking anywhere but at her. “I'm used to it.” Meeting Finn’s eyes, Kylo tightened his jaw, turning away. “I should go. Congratulations, again,” he murmured, disappearing out the door.

“Finn,” Rey pled, looking up at him desperately. “Please!”

“What do you want me to do? He chose to leave! No one forced him.” Finn frowned, gesturing wildly to the door.

Rey looked at the door, eyes shining with tears. “But...but…”

But that meant he was walking away from her. For good, it would seem. She could try to pretend that Poe didn’t exist all she wanted to tonight, but tomorrow would come and Poe _would_ be real and she’d be the one left alone. It wasn’t fair. By all accounts, Finn would get to keep Poe and she wouldn’t get to keep Kylo and then one day Finn would marry Poe and she’d just have the baby and less of Finn than she had now and probably less of the baby because then she’d have to share it with Poe too and she’d be alone.

Finn came up behind her again and touched her shoulder. “Maybe just give him some time. It isn't everyday you find out the person you've been sleeping with is pregnant with someone else’s baby.” He offered her a small smile. “If he cares for you at all, he'll be back. Sort of up to you if he means enough to you for you to be willing to wait.”

Rey nodded numbly and decided to ignore that she had felt the same way about him only a short while ago. Well, it had sort of worked, right? She had Finn back...just not the way she had wanted.

“Can you spend the night? I don’t...I don’t want to be alone right now,” Rey whispered quietly, too afraid of his expression to turn back and look at him. “But it’s fine if you...can’t. I understand.”

“Yeah, yeah, that's fine. I understand. So will Poe. It’s okay,” he said. “Do you want to go take a bath or something while I make you some dinner?”

“That sounds like a good idea,” she agreed. She finally turned around and smiled weakly at him. “Thank you, Finn. I love you.”

“Love you too, Peanut,” he smiled back at her before shooing her off in the general direction of the bathroom before he turned to rummage in the cabinets.

Rey’s heart softened as she looked back at Finn, trying to make himself familiar in her kitchen. As scared as she was about everything happening in her life right now, she was glad that she at least had him. In whatever way he was going to be in her life, she at least had his love and support. At least life could show her that shred of kindness.

_____________

The next day was a bit odd. She was happy to wake up in Finn’s arms and for the briefest of moments, she forgot that the day before Christmas break had happened and she allowed herself to believe that this was really what life was like now, that he’d be in her bed with her every morning like they used to be and that she was having his baby in a situation where they loved each other romantically. As she trailed her hands up and down his bicep, smiling fondly at the soft muscle of it, she found herself saying something she’d never thought she’d consider.

“What if we gave the whole poly thing a try? Poe’s not... _that_ bad. I could...share,” Rey presented.

Blinking quickly, he turned to stare down at her, raising an eyebrow as he rubbed the sleep from his face. “Poly? You want to try a polyamorous thing with me and...Poe? Rey...he told me what you said to him that day in your engineering class.” He patted her arm gently. “I think you'd eat him alive.”

Rey bit her lip. “I was hurt and he came at me. I didn’t expect to see him, much less for him to lord his authority over me to make me listen to him make excuses for what happened.” She then shrugged, adding in, “Plus, you know, pregnancy hormones. But I’ll apologize and try to make it work. I’ll do anything for you.” She looked down at her stomach, where it was pressed lightly to Finn’s side. “For both of you.”

“I don't know, Rey…” he said softly, lost in thought. “I’ll talk to Poe about it, okay? No promises. But if he tries to talk to you, you can't go screaming at him, okay?”

Rey growled softly. “I promise not to as long as he stops trying to come at me.” She winced, realizing that it already sounded like she wasn’t going to try. “Sorry. Still a bit raw, after...everything. I’ll be good, I swear.” She smiled teasingly up at him. “I was always good, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah. You were good the way a puppy isn't trouble,” he smirked, tickling her ribs. “I don't believe any of it!”

Rey shrieked with giggles, immediately trying to wriggle out from his grasp but having no such luck. “That’s--not-- _fair!_ You can’t--don’t tickle the--the pregnant girl!”

“The _who_ and the _what now_?” Jessika said, pushing open Rey’s door and standing there with her arms crossed over her chest, an eyebrow raised. “What the actual fuck is happening in here?”

Eyes going wide, Finn flopped back against the bed. He was modest of course. His shirt and pants had stayed on during the night, though he'd always felt exposed whenever Jessika was around, giving him that penetrating stare. “Oh, hey...Jess,” he said, giving an awkward little wave.

“Rey Niima, what the fuck is this fucker doing in your bed and what the _fuck_ did you just say?” Jessika demanded.

“Be nice!” Rey snapped, draping an arm over Finn’s torso as if to protect him from her scorn. “And this isn’t the way I wanted you to find out. Fuck, I hadn’t even thought of how I was going to tell you. I only...I just found out yesterday.”

“And you didn’t think that was important enough for a phone call? I would have come home immediately, sweetie, sex be damned. There’s no reason for you to fall back into bed with this cheating motherfucker,” Jessika said, her words going from honey sweet to venom as she glared daggers at Finn.

“Hey, I resent that. True, but still,” he muttered. “Anyway, we were literally just _sleeping_ together, nothing more.” Finn hadn't ever really liked Jessika that much, to be quite honest. She was too outspoken, and not to mention extremely...free.

Jessika scowled at him before stepping further into the room, coming to sit beside Rey on the bed. “Rey, sweetie, are you really...are you pregnant?”

Rey nodded. “Yes.”

“And it’s definitely Finn’s, right? Not Kylo’s?” Jessika asked.

Rey felt Finn tense around her and she threw him a look, wondering what that was about.

“No, no. First of all, Kylo and I used a condom in December, and second of all, I’m too far along for it to be his,” Rey replied.

Jessika looked oddly relieved. “Good. I suppose that’s for the best.” She glared over Rey’s head at Finn. “However, I’ve still not forgiven you and I _will_ still fuck you up if you break her heart again.”

“What, the way you fucked up my apartment? That was super petty, by the way,” he said, rolling his eyes. “So you've been having regular sex with Kylo, then? Did he send you any texts or anything since he left?” Finn asked Rey curiously.

Rey went to reach for her phone but Jessika snatched it up first. “None,” she announced. She sounded almost smug about it, almost. “I’m sorry, honey. I told you to stay away from him. And I threatened physical hard upon him for coming near you. He was good for one thing and one thing only.”

“I dunno,” Finn said, rubbing the back of his neck. “He looked kinda hurt yesterday. Or maybe lost. That might be a better word. Maybe if Jessika over here looked at a guy for more than his dick, she might actually find a good one.” He narrowed his eyes at the woman in question. God, she was such a bitch.

“You know all about looking at dicks, don’t you?” Jessika hissed.

“Jessika!” Rey shrieked, shooting up into sitting and glaring at the girl. “Get the fuck out of here if you’re going to act like that!”

Jessika rolled her eyes, tossing Rey’s phone on the bed. “For your information, _Finn_ , I _did_ find a good one. And what I said still stands. She’s pregnant because of you and her heart is broken because of you, and I will end you the next time you cross us.”

“Jess!” Rey warned.

“Whatever.” Jessika stormed off, slamming Rey’s door on her way out.

Rey sighed, falling back onto the bed. “Well. That probably wasn’t good for the baby. I hear stress is not their favorite thing.”

“Do they even have ears at this stage? They're what, like a little bean?” He placed his hand lightly over Rey’s stomach, pressing his own ear against it. “My little bean…”

Rey smiled softly and gently stroked his head. This was what she’d been dreaming about since she was sixteen. This simple happiness was all she wanted. Kylo was...she’d miss him, but maybe it was for the best? He clearly didn’t miss her.

“Are you really going to talk, to Poe? Because I really do want to try. We can be a happy family. All four of us,” Rey whispered.

Looking up into Rey’s hopeful eyes, he sighed heavily, nodding. “Yeah, I'm going to talk to him, Rey. I guess I could probably go do that today. Do you have any doctor’s appointments or anything that I should make time for?” He pulled his head away from her and slowly sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed as he stretched.

“If you could do it before my 1 o'clock class with him, I’m appreciate it,” Rey said. “And not yet. The nurse gave me the phone of an office I can call, though. She wants me to get in as soon as I can so I can get checked out properly. Maybe schedule an ultrasound? You’re free to come to anything you want to. Or not. It’s--it’s up to you.”

“I want to be there,” Finn said fiercely. If he could have stomped his foot and looked mature about it, he would have. “I'll go see if I can meet with Poe here shortly. You gonna be okay with the Wicked Bitch of the West while I'm gone?”

Rey cringed and nodded. “She’s all bark and minimal bite. Most of the time. I’m more worried about your safety getting out of here.” She stood up and stretched. Despite everything, this was the best she had slept in a long time.

“I'll be okay. See you later, Peanut.” He said as he came around the side of the bed and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Text me if you need anything.”

“Thanks, Finn.” Rey replied. She escorted him to the door and smiled as he left.

Things may turn out okay after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll guessed it!!! We have to admit, it's been fun watching you guys guess who our lucky (Unlucky? :( ) pregnant lady is.  
> ALL ABOARD THE PAIN TRAIN, NOW LEAVING THE STATION, FULL STEAM AHEAD!!!! CHOO CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is _the_ chapter, so if you aren't comfortable reading it, this is your warning. It isn't horribly graphic, but it may still be a trigger.

The next several weeks in Kylo’s class were torturous. She was there every day, not missing a single one as she floated through the campus between Finn and Poe, smiling like there wasn't a care in the world. Maybe there wasn't. She'd gotten her precious family back.

As much as he wanted to be upset with her, he simply couldn't. She'd chosen Finn over him, and honestly, what had he expected? She knew barely anything about him, and she'd been dating Finn for years. It wasn't even like he'd had a claim on her. They'd been exclusively fucking (one whole round while that lasted, woooo), and now it was over and it was time to move on with his life. But it didn't stop him from leaving breakfast on her desk every day, though he didn't speak directly to her. He knew she still wasn't eating much, judging by the harshness of her face. He tried to give off an air of indifference when she came in, tried to hide the way his eyes tracked her through the room after she kissed Finn goodbye at the door.

She didn't seem to care about him anymore, and honestly it shouldn't have surprised him. He was the rebound sex, after all. He'd let her use him, and in doing so, he'd given her what meager emotions he could offer. He wanted to not care, wanted to not see the way she looked up at the man on her arm, the professor on the other, just far away enough for it to look casual and not like a romantic trio.

In class, he gave his lectures, he passed out assignments, he graded them and he handed them back, never meeting her eyes, even as he left comments like _good job_ and _great work_ at the top of her papers.

_____________

Rey isn’t sure that this is how she ever thought her life would go. One day, she’s heartbroken but having earth-shattering sex with a sexy professor, and the next, she’s pregnant and having...interesting sex, including a different professor. The first time she’d made love to Finn again was after their first ultrasound, when he’d carried her into his bed and worshipped her body completely for giving them this gift.  He’d even finally gone down on her, and she did her best not to compare it to Kylo. At first Poe was understanding of this behavior, allowing them their time together, if it meant that he got Finn to himself every once in a while, too. But as she moved towards her second trimester and her hormones beginning to kick up again, she found her tratious mouth asking for something she didn’t know she wanted, and, even more shockingly, two men who were happy to oblige. It was a first she never expected to have, nor a second, or a third, or...

What hadn’t really changed was her lack of craving for food, no matter what her loving boyfriends or well-meaning best friend tried. Nothing stayed down, however, and Finn was worried for both her health and that of their child. Except that something did stay down. One thing and one thing only remained in her system:

The muffins that Kylo Ren left on her desk every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

That in and of itself was torture. Even as her heart sang with happiness to wake up in between the loving embrace of the love of her life and the new love of his, she still ached every time she saw Kylo. There was a sadness in his eyes and she knew she was the cause of it. If he had ever bothered to look into hers, he would see the same reflected back. She hadn’t _wanted_ to break his heart. She never _wanted_ to use him that way. She hadn’t even wanted to use him in the first place, as her heart had run head first into his arms the moment he saw her cry and didn’t bail. She had been so happy to think that he wanted her back in some capacity, to think that they could have been exclusive and figured out how to do a relationship together while they were still student and teacher, to think that they had a chance at happiness together.

But there was one thing she couldn’t get out of her head and she couldn’t really hold it in any longer. She would blame on it her pregnancy hormones, always trying to trick her into doing the stupidest stuff that was so emotionally challenging.

“Professor Ren, can I speak with you after class?” Rey asked softly as everyone around her wrote to his latest prompt. She was standing in front of his desk in a pair of black leggings and a massive, loose hoodie. It was Finn’s. It hid her minimal babybump well and kept her so warm, plus having his scent with her all day seemed to calm her down and make things seem easier. She hoped its magic would extend to this.

Lifting his eyes slowly to hers, he studied her for a moment, taking in the hoodie, instead of the usual form-flattering clothing she wore. He tried to keep his face impassive, but he couldn't stop the tick in his eye as he said, “Of course.” It came out much more resigned than he'd meant for it to, but it was too late now.

He watched her go back to her seat and for the remainder of the class, he kept stealing little glances at her. She had a glow about her that lit her from within, radiating outward. She was beautiful.

Rey waited patiently for everyone to leave the room once they were dismissed, only getting up so she could meet Finn at the door.

“I need to talk to Kylo. But I’ll see you for lunch still, yeah?” Rey said, hands pressed to his chest as his arms were wrapped around her waist. She pushed up on her toes and placed a gentle kiss on his lips, a loving reassurance.

Leaning against the edge of the desk on the other side of his chair, he watched their little display for a moment until he finally had to look away. His hands were curved around the edge of the desk, and he was staring rather intently down at his shoes until she was done.

Rey shut the door and came back down to the front of the classroom, planting herself firmly in front of him.

“First, I wanted to thank you. Not to sound overly dramatic, but those muffins you’ve been giving me? They’re saving our lives,” Rey said, her hands pressed to the slight swell of her stomach. “They seem to be the only thing I can keep down, what is standing between me and being strapped to a hospital bed at constant. So, thank you, for that. From...from all of us.”

Giving her a slight nod, he said, “You're welcome.” Lifting his eyes back to her, he followed the front of her shirt down to her hands, just _barely_ able to see anything through the thick hoodie where she was pushing the fabric down. “How many weeks until you find out the gender?” he asked quietly, glancing up at her face.

“Few more,” Rey said. “But we’re not sure if we’re going to or not. Finn’s sort of on the fence about it and I honestly couldn’t care what’s inside here as long as I get to love it, however while Poe thinks--” she sighed and cut herself off. It seemed mean to discuss the intimate details of her relationship with Kylo. She’d inadvertently left him for not one, but two men. “Sorry,” she apologized softly, hands still absently stroking her stomach.

“Don't be,” he shook his head, still watching her hands. “It’s good to see you happy.” He ran his hand through his hair, finally clearing his throat. “Let me know when you know if it's a boy or a girl. I want to get it a present.”

Rey smiled a bit at that. “I will.” Her face then turned serious and she took a step closer to him, eyes imploring. “I wanted to talk about something else. Something you said twice to me but we never got the chance to discuss.”

“What's that?” he asked, tilting his head slightly at her. She somehow seemed even smaller than normal--maybe because she was currently drowning in a hoodie much too big for her. How would she look in one of _his_ hoodies? He was a bit bigger than Finn.

“You said you were used to people using you. Kylo, had I known in the beginning, had I ever had even the slightest idea that you were never...that people didn’t...I’m just so sorry. I never planned for any of this to happen, and now that it has I’ve felt _awful_ knowing that you got the shortest end of the stick. I should have never used you in the first place, I shouldn’t have asked you to help me out. But you should know.” She paused, looking away from him for a moment so she could gather her courage. This was a lot harder than telling him she was pregnant, she realized. “You should know that it was all sincere. That I really wanted to...to try with you. You were kind to me when you had every reason to run away, and you’ve _continued_ being kind to me when, by every right, you should be treating me like dirt. I never thought I’d be pregnant and be with Finn again and maybe if this hadn’t happened, I would still be with you because I wanted to. I still want to. But I know that’s a terribly awful and selfish thing for me to say. I have two men who treat me very kindly but I can’t help but wonder about us.”

She took a step closer still, reaching out to him. “I never wanted to be another person who used you and I’m sorry. Kylo, I’m so, so sorry.”

Looking at her outstretched hand, he let her words sink in, jaw twitching as he wondered what she wanted from him. She was in a relationship again with the love of her life. “I wonder, too,” he whispered, brow furrowing as he slowly lifted his hand and pressed his palm against hers, sliding his back and twisting it so their fingers were pointed upwards. Gently, he laced his fingers between hers, “About us.”

He held her hand for a minute before lowering it, letting their hands part as he dropped his back to his side. “Just know that I didn't mind being used by you. I liked it. I _wanted_ you to use me. Because at least you’d be safe while your heart was broken, and not be swarmed by guys like Jesse, who only wanted one thing.”

“I didn’t want to be using you, though,” she protested, aching to feel his touch again. “And you’re right, I did feel safe. In the brief time we were involved, you made me feel so safe and protected. And then I went and repaid you by running right back into Finn’s arms the moment he let me.”

“I can't blame you. I can't ask you to leave him for me. I can't guarantee that I would even be good at any of this relationship stuff. But I suppose that doesn't matter now, does it?” He didn't let his bitterness show, and for that, he was a bit proud. He would not go out like a whimpering dog. Pausing, he looked her over again, saying, “Let me know if you need anything, all right?”

Rey frowned, hating the finality in his tone. She loved Finn and she was shockingly happy with Poe (he wasn’t really _that_ bad...not that she would have ever been involved with him sans Finn) but she hated the thought that Kylo was putting himself off limits to her forever. She was selfish. A horrid, selfish girl who just wanted everything.

“For what it’s worth, you’re not as bad as you think you are,” Rey said quietly, turning to grab her things.

“I think I am. I _do_ want a girl who's in love with two other men, after all,” he murmured after her, watching her curiously.

Rey froze, turning around slowly to look at him again. “You...what?” She gasped, trying to place together what he said. That was present tense. He was speaking in present tense. He was an English professor, he understood the meaning of tenses. Present tense meant present feelings. As in, he _still_ wanted her. As in, the pregnancy hadn’t scared him away. As in, had she not convinced Finn to get her another try, he maybe would have been there. As in…

Rey hadn’t realized she’d fallen to the ground, her head light as a feather.

Kylo was rushing forward to try and catch her, only managing to keep her skull from cracking into the hard floor. He vaguely realized he'd been shouting for help as he checked her over. He didn't see anything--

Wait, what was that? He lowered her head to the floor and frowned at the red puddle leaking out from under her thighs. That was a _lot_ of blood. She was pregnant--she shouldn't even be bleeding in the first place. He pulled out his cell phone, immediately dialing 9-1-1. His voice felt hollow and foreign in his head, muted as she watched Rey’s face pale. As soon as he hung up with the operator, he tried Dameron’s office phone number, hearing it ring until it went to voicemail. No, no, this couldn't be happening, not to Rey. She didn't deserve this.

“Finn,” she whispered weakly, trying to lift her head to look for her phone. She didn’t feel good, why didn’t she feel good? “Kylo?” she asked, seeing the panicked expression in his eyes. Her vision was blurry at best but she saw something as she looked him over, something bright on his hand, something that look like...it couldn’t be? “Kylo.” She said more insistently, alertness returning to her as she realized that there was _blood_ on his hand.

“Shhhh, Rey, just relax until the paramedics get here. They'll know what to do. You shouldn't move,” he repeated over and over as he tried to think of what he could do to help in the meantime. He should probably keep her awake, if possible. Wiping his hand against his shirt, uncaring what the substance was and where it had come from, he stroked her hair gently, looking down at her face as he kept saying random things to keep her eyes open.

He looked up when the EMT’s arrived and immediately set to work on stabilizing her, only to see Finn and Poe burst into the classroom a moment later, their expressions filled with fear.

Kylo stepped out of the way, giving them access to Rey as he stumbled back, bringing his bloodstained hands up to stare at them, at the way the blood was under his nails, feeling like it was melding into him. He'd never be able to get it off. He'd never be able to scrub deeply enough to strip it from his skin. Not now. It was Rey, and she was inside him, consuming his heart.

“Kylo,” she called out for him, reaching desperately for him as she was strapped in. “Finn,” she said, looking up at him imploringly. “Please.”

“Okay, Peanut, okay, he’ll come too. He and Poe will be right behind us,” he looked over at the two men with a sharp glare. “Won't you?”

Poe and Kylo nodded quickly without even looking at each other, too wrapped up in the idea that something was terribly wrong. The EMT’s wheeled Rey out, rushing her towards the ambulance as they radioed ahead, using medical terms Kylo wasn't quite familiar with.

Rey’s lip trembled as she looked up at Finn, seeing his face through her watery gaze. “Did I kill our baby?”

Finn’s face softened as he climbed up next to Return in the ambulance, clutching her hand tightly. “No, no, of course you didn't. You're going to go to the hospital and the doctors are going to patch you up and everything will be fine, you'll see,” he babbled, trying to hide the tears in his eyes. The situation didn't look good, but there was no way to tell anything without having Rey hooked up to a heart rate monitor.

______________

 

Rey laid in the hospital bed, listening to the various beeps with passive interest. There was only one that mattered, and it dealt with all of the electrodes stuck to her stomach by a thick band. Finn was sitting next to her, holding her hand as the doctor explained what had happened, how Rey and the baby were stable but...for only for now.

“You’re incredibly malnourished, Miss Niima, and the fetus is not getting enough to survive on. Whoever didn’t admit you to a hospital immediately was incompetent, and your sudden hemorrhaging has not helped,” the doctor said, a scowl on her face as she looked down at her chart and searched for a name to pin the blame to.

“I only found out a few weeks ago. I’ve been able to keep down muffins,” Rey argued weakly.

“That’s not enough, Miss Niima. You need more than just sugar and fiber.” The doctor sighed, fixing the two young kids with a sympathetic look. “We’re going to have to keep you for a while to ensure that you get the nutrients you need. I’ll have them run your insurance so we can get you settled upstairs.”

Rey looked at Finn as soon as the doctor left, panicked. “Finn, I don’t _have_ insurance. Are they going to throw me out? Oh my god, Finn, are we going to lose the baby?”

“Legally, they have to treat you. We may get slapped with a huge bill, but they'll take care of you as best they can, Peanut,” he said, squeezing her hand softly.

“What medical bill?” Kylo asked, rounding the corner with Poe hot on his heels. He weaved through the room until he was on the other side of the bed from Finn, going down to his knees beside her so that she wouldn't have to crane her neck so hard. “How are you feeling?” he asked her quietly, unable to push the image of her lying in a pool of blood from his mind.

“Tired. But I’m still pregnant. At least...for now,” Rey replied with a sad smile, reaching out to gently tuck a strand of hair behind Kylo’s ear. She liked his ears. “Thank you. We owe you our lives again.”

“Don't thank me until the doctor gives the all clear,” he smiled faintly at her, half wondering what her actual boyfriends thought of her touching him so casually in front of them.

“If they’ll keep treating me,” Rey said, turning to look back at Finn. “How are we supposed to pay them back, Finn? We’re students. We’re already on the lowest rung of poor there is.” Her eyes began to well with tears again. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I can’t do this right. I’m so sorry I’m costing us...everything.”

Kylo jerked his head over to Poe. “Didn't you put her on your insurance when she moved in?” he demanded, eyes narrowing when the other man held up his hands and shook his head.

“No, I didn't. It was only _two weeks!”_ Poe defended himself. He had a point. Any sane person wouldn’t immediately put someone on their plan. As professors, they got pretty decent health coverage.

“God, you're a fucking moron, Dameron,” Kylo snapped, reaching into his wallet. He took out an ID card and held it out to Rey.

“Kylo, I couldn’t. You’ve done enough for us, I can’t accept this, too,” Rey protested, trying to hand it back to him.

“You're already on my insurance plan, Rey. I added you the day after you told me you were pregnant. I knew Finn didn't have adequate coverage and Dameron is too fucking inept to actually use his,” he said, gently pushing the card back until he had it pressed against her chest.

“You did what?” Rey whispered, looking down at the plastic. And sure enough, there was her name listed right below his.

Rey reached out and grabbed Kylo’s hand, pulling him back down so she could kiss him. It was a chaste sort of kiss, with some passion bubbling just at the surface of it in the moments before they broke apart. When they opened their eyes again, hers were shining with utter adoration.

“Thank you,” she whispered, her lips still so close to his, her small hand near trembling as it cupped his cheek.

Completely surprised by her kiss, especially in front of her two boyfriends, his eyes fluttered slightly, having not tasted her in weeks. It stirred something inside him, like old gears starting to grind together after too long sitting. His tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip as he stared down at her. He shouldn’t...

Leaning back down, uncaring who was in the same room, he pressed his mouth back to hers, deepening it perhaps just a tad bit more than it needed to be. He tasted her mouth, forcing her lips apart with his own as he dipped his tongue inside.

Rey’s hand drifted into his hair, holding his head to hers as she kissed him back with equal fervor. It had only been two weeks but she hadn’t forgotten how much she loved the taste of him, the feeling of his plush lips sliding over hers as his tongue invaded her deliciously. She made a soft noise at the back of her throat, tilting her head to give him better access.

Then she remembered what her other hand was attached to, feeling the fingers of another person clenching hers almost to the point of pain, yet so careful of the IV attached.

Barring that, there was also the insistent clearing of a throat. And the loud beeping of her heart monitor, increasing in beeps.

Pulling away from her reluctantly, Kylo blushed until the tops of his ears were pink. He offered no explanation for what had just happened, and as he straightened, smoothing out his hair, he gave her a small smirk.

“Hey, man, that wasn't cool,” Finn protested, looking down at where he was clinging tightly to Rey. “You know,” he added after a long second, standing “Technically you just cheated on us.”

Rey blushed and ducked her head, pouting up at Finn. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I'm hormonal. I almost lost our baby and this big oaf gave us a way to save them so I sort of lost my head for a minute. I love you. Forgive me?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just don't, you know, let it happen again,” Finn smiled at her, giving her hand a light squeeze.

Kylo’s mood dampened a bit at that. So, it was just because of the hormones? He should have guessed as much. He stepped away from the bed to let Poe move around to her side. Sitting in a chair in the room, he frowned, pulling out his phone to get only the best medical information from Doctor Google.

Thanks to Kylo’s card, Rey was transferred up to a private room (once again she wondered how much he made), where she was hooked up to even more tubes so she could get the nutrients she and the baby needed. The room was comfortable, the bed large enough for two and a small couch that would suffice as another bed need be. Finn stayed at her side as much as he could, sleeping beside her in the bed with his frame almost always curled around hers. Poe visited every day, although Rey began to notice a slip in his usually casual demeanor as the week wore on. He seemed to be battling some sense of displeasure, Rey always catching him scowling just a bit out of the corner of her eye. When she finally confronted him about this, he gave her a smile, kissed her forehead, and said it was just school stuff and she shouldn't stress.

Jessika visited as well, now fully back to supporting Finn and Rey’s relationship if it made Rey happy. She even brought in her boyfriend one of the times, blessedly not one of the times when a professor also happened to be visiting.

Especially since Kylo only came one other time. It was four days into her hospital stay and one of the rare moments Finn had left. Rey had practically forced him out of the room, urging him to go take a shower at home and eat _something_ that wasn't hospital food. When Kylo appeared twenty minutes later, she gasped in surprise.

“Kylo,” she breathed quietly. There was a kick in her heart rate beeps.

“Hey,” he gave her a small smile, hovering in the doorway. There was a little bag in his hands and he fiddled nervously with it, the crinkling of the bag too loud in the otherwise fairly quiet room, asked from the beeps of the heart monitors. He glanced at the device, hearing the increase in speed. His own heart was picking up in pace, though he was thankful nothing was giving him away.

He stepped into the room, his long strides carrying him easily to the bed. “How’ve you been feeling?” Sure, he'd texted her occasionally, but it was a bit different than actually seeing her.

She shrugged dismissively. “Been better.” she looked down at her stomach, pressing a hand there gingerly. “The doctor isn't...but, we’re trying.”

Looking down at where her hand was resting, he tilted his head back at her. “Can I…?” He raised his hand in silent question.

Rey smiled softly at that. “Sure. It’s still to early to feel anything, though, so try not to be too disappointed.”

She lifted up the hem of her gown just a bit, careful to keep the blankets at her hips. She grabbed his hand and guided to down to rest on her abdomen, pressing the flat of it against her. She couldn’t suppress the shiver that ran through her to feel his hand, so warm and large, on her skin and so close to...she blushed and looked away. Stupid heart monitor.

Smirking slightly at the jump in beeps, he closed his eyes, as though that would help him concentrate on feeling the baby. Of course, there was nothing, nothing except for the tiny bump under his hand being the only clue that there was anything in there.

He could just slide his hand a little bit lower…it looked like she was bare from the waist down to allow doctors to have better access with their tools and instruments. That was a completely inappropriate thought, though. Instead, he just focused on the way her skin felt beneath his hand, so warm and smooth. And alive. He'd been so worried when he'd seen her fall. “You scared me, you know,” he said quietly.

“I’m sorry,” she replied, her voice just as hushed. She scooted over and gave a pat to the space beside her on the bed, adjusting the gown back down. “Come sit with me.”

Lowering himself to the edge of the bed, he laced his hands together in his lap, not quite sure exactly what she was wanting. He set the bag down beside her, giving her a small smile. It was more muffins, against the medical staff’s orders. “Figured you might be tired of hospital food by now.”

Her face lit up at that, grabbing the bag gratefully. “Thank you!” She’d ask permission first, too scared to do anything to endanger the baby, but she was excited at the prospect. “And not like that, Kylo. Sit _with_ me.” She urged, grabbing his thigh and giving it a tug.

Rolling his eyes, he scooted back so that they were smushed together from shoulder all the way down to their hips and legs, and he rested against the uptilted bed. “What happens if Finn comes in? This is quite the compromising position,” he was trying to make a joke to keep the mood light, but it was a real question and he wanted a real answer.

Rey snorted and rolled her eyes, turning so she could wrap her arms around his torso and sigh into his comforting warmth. “What, are you scared of Finn? He wouldn't hurt a fly, much less the very nice man who saved the life of both his girlfriend and his baby.”

“Maybe not, but he might get jealous of you hugging me like that,” he said, even as his arm went down to wrap around her shoulders. She felt good against him--she felt right.

“You’re my friend, Kylo, and I can very well cuddle my friends,” Rey insisted, cuddling further into him as if to prove her point. Tucked under there, where he couldn't see her face, she continued. “But they don't kiss like we did.”

“No,” he agreed, looking down at her head. “I suppose they don't. I'm sorry, by the way. I shouldn't have done that.” Leaning back, he rested his head against the bed and closed his eyes.

“It’s my fault. I shouldn't have kissed you first.” _No matter how much I wanted to_.

“Maybe if things had turned out differently,” he murmured, stroking his hand over her arm soothingly.

“Yeah,” she agreed softly. She rested her ear over his heart, giving it a soft nuzzle. “What you said in your classroom the other day...you used present tense. Did you mean that?”

“Doesn't me being here kind of prove that?” he asked gently, watching the top of her head. Maybe she wouldn't hear how his heart was picking up speed. One could only hope not.

Rey was stunned by the increase in _his_ heart rate and she pulled away slightly so she could meet his gaze. “Kylo. I...this is complicated. I never expect to be in any part of this situation. I never thought I’d get Finn back, much less gain a bonus boyfriend in the process while what I wanted... _want_ is…” she chewed her lip, her tongue sliding out to pull it in.

“What do you want, Rey?” he prompted, eyes almost hopeful. “I won't come between what you and your...lovers have. I'm not going to try and insert myself. I don't share well.”

“That's the problem,” she groaned softly. “I thought being with Finn again would make me happy, and Poe is okay, but I can't stop wanting _you._ But I can't ask you to get involved in this. Not a lot of men want to raise another man’s baby, much less one who already has two fathers.”

“Then…” he thought about his next words carefully. “Then you need to make a choice. I'll be here for you no matter what. If and when you're able to come back to class, I'll help you with whatever you need, and if you need me to bring you something outside of class, then I will. But I…” he faltered. “I can't share you with anyone. A baby is a little bit different. I wouldn't deny it its father, but I can't be there like _that_ if you're with him too.”

Rey nodded and laid her head back on his chest. “I know, I know. It's just hard. Finn...he really loves me again, maybe even more than before. But I can't help but know that he wouldn't feel this way without the baby. He would have walked off into the sunset with Poe and never looked back at me, at least not like that. And I’m scared he is going to wake up one day and change his mind again. But I don't want to string you along like some sort of...rebound again. Because I really like you, Kylo, and I really _want_ to try this with you, but if Finn…” she sighed miserably and tightened her hold on him. “I don't know what the right choice is.”

“Maybe there isn't one. Maybe you just need to make one and stick with it,” he suggested as he gently unwrapped her from around him, sitting back up on the bed to swing his legs over the side. “Let me know, whatever you decide. That way I can...let you go, I guess. Move on, and lick my wounds without ever wondering about what if.” He stood and turned to face her again. “But ultimately, this is your decision, Rey.”

She nodded numbly, the decision weighing heavily on her mind and heart. She then looked up at him and, before she could stop herself, asked quietly, “Will you kiss me goodbye? Please?”

He looked down at her for a long moment, dropping his eyes further to stare at her lips longingly. Stepping forward, he placed a hand under her chin and tilted her face up, bending down to brush his mouth over her forehead. It was soft and sweet, tender and... “Let me know when you've decided something. Take care of yourself, Rey.” He gave her a sad smile before he left the room, unable to bring himself to look back at her. He wouldn't be able to do the right thing if he did.

____________

 

It happened a week later. The beepings woke Finn and Rey up before any of the pain could. Rey was frantic and crying as they transferred her to a gurney and whisked her off to surgery, trying so hard to cling to Finn and ignore the blood they woke up laying in.

Nothing could have been done, the doctor said. They tried their best, the nurse soothed. Rey’s body simply couldn't sustain, she was told. They were sorry, but the baby hadn’t made it. At least they could try again, they were reassured.

Rey was too drugged to cry in the beginning. She mostly laid there, numb to all feeling, thinking of everything she’d done to cause this. It was her fault. It was her body that failed. She was being punished for being too selfish. She had wanted too much and this was her punishment.

Kylo had gotten a text from Poe. A fucking text, telling him that Rey had lost her baby. Who delivered that kind of news through texting? Sure, he wasn't part of their trio, and in all honesty, they weren't even obligated to tell him at all.

But still. A text.

When he entered her room, tucked at the very end of the hall, he hesitated. Would she even want him there? He had no part in her baby. And he knew her well enough to know that she was mourning heavily, as she should. She had clearly cared a lot for that baby. And now it was gone.

She looked awful, laying on the bed, her face ashen and not at all close to that pretty golden color it usually was. She was still hooked up to various machines, and her eyes were red-rimmed from crying. She looked defeated.

He hovered near the door, some lame flowers tucked into the crook of his arm. They were a meager offering, and he knew they would bring her no comfort.

Especially when they withered and died too, he realized a second later. Maybe flowers had been a horrible idea. He stuck them onto a medical cart outside the door and slowly entered, hands twitching with the ache of wanting to touch her, to comfort her in this terrible time. Finn was there with her, though, hand clasped tightly in hers, his head bowed.

Maybe he should just leave. But something brought him into the room, some whisper in his head told him to be there, to provide whatever comfort he could, even if it was from a distance. He folded his frame into one of the hospital chairs, looking down at his hands. He didn't know what to do, what to say. _I’m sorry_ didn't cut it, and no amount of anything else could make up for her pain. She hadn't even seemed to notice he'd come in.

It wrenched his heart, knowing there was nothing he could do. He saw Finn’s head lift, and Kylo met his eyes, the two men staring at each other for an insurmountable time.

Finally, Finn shook his head and lowered it again to look at the woman on the hospital bed. “Rey? Sweetie? Professor Ren is here. Do you want to talk to him?”

“Hmm?” Rey hummed softly, stirring to look up at Finn. Recognition was slow to arrive on her face, so lost as she was in her pain meds. “Kylo,” she said, glancing up at him. Her eyes turned watery and a sob escaped her throat. “Kylo, I lost my baby.”

Taking a deep breath, he scooted the chair over to the other side of the bed and leaned in, nodding softly. “I know,” then much more quietly, “I know. But it wasn't your fault.”

“Yes it was. I did this. This is my fault.” She turned to Finn and said, for the hundredth time, “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.”

“It isn't,” he frowned, reaching out to take her other hand. He held it between his own two and said, “This is _not_ your fault, Rey. You loved that baby, and you would've done anything for it. You can't keep blaming yourself.” He looked across her body to Finn for help, but he just shrugged sadly. He knew the look. Finn had tried to say something similar with no effect.

“But it's my fault. I was mean and selfish and bad and I got punished. I'm being punished,” she wailed pitifully, leaning her head back to cry at the ceiling.

“Punished? For what? What on Earth did you do that would deserve this?” He asked, his tone almost incredulous. She was one of the sweetest people he knew. And no one deserved the loss of a child.

“For...for _everything_. For being a bad child so my parents left me. For being a brat as a teenager. For...for loving you when I loved Finn,” she confessed through her tears.

“Rey, stop,” he commanded, turning her face to his, ignoring the way his heart was thundering at her admission. “This is not some kind of...of punishment. Something went wrong. It was nothing you did. You can't...you can't keep putting this blame on yourself. If you have need anyone to blame, blame me.”

“No, no. You are perfect. You didn’t...you never did _anything_ wrong.” She looked up to Finn again. “I'm sorry. I love you. You didn't deserve this. I’m sorry I killed our family. I wanted it so badly. I'm sorry.”

“Shhhh, just rest, Sweetie,” Finn said, patting her hand gently. “You didn't do anything wrong, just like Professor Ren said. You have to believe that. I still love you too.”

Kylo sighed. If he could just distract her somehow, to take her mind off the pain. “Rey, this is definitely my fault. I put too much stress on you.” If he could make her hate him and not herself, he could live with that. “I tried to make you choose. And I did this. This is my fault.”

“No, no,” she moaned sadly, but the drugs were flowing into her IV again and she was fighting to stay awake. “No. No. No. I love y…” she fell back under.

Kylo let out a breath, watching the way Rey’s face went slack. He slumped back against the chair, rubbing his free hand across his face. “I'm sorry,” he said quietly to Finn, not meeting his eyes.

Finn leaned over and brushed some of Rey’s hair out of her face, tender and kind. “She has a big heart. She loves a lot of people.”  

He nodded in agreement. “She does. She adores you, you know.” He propped his chin up in one hand, using the armrest and looked over at the other man. He looked wrecked, like he hadn't gotten much sleep.

“I know. And I love her, more than anyone.” Finn pressed a kiss to her forehead before sitting down down. He held her hand in his, a gentle hold. “I made a mistake. I should have never left her. If I hadn't put that stress on her in the beginning, things would have gone differently.” He dropped his gaze to her stomach before turning away, looking at Kylo now with a fierceness in his tired eyes. “Thanks for taking care of her for me, but you should know, I’m here to stay. I let myself get distracted but I won't again.”

Chewing the inside of his cheek, Kylo nodded. “I figured as much. But _you_ should know that this isn't your fault, either. Things just...happen. That being said, I care about her, too. And with all due respect, this is still her choice, not yours, not mine.” He knew who she would pick when the time came. She'd pick the man who'd been there for her through everything, who she was still in love with even after everything he'd done to her.

“I'm in your debt for all of this. For being with her when it happened and the whole insurance thing,” Finn said. “It's great that you _care_ for her and all, but I love her. And she loves me. She’s loved me since she was sixteen. Whatever she felt for you was just the rebound from me.” He gave Kylo a snide smile. “So no hard feelings, eh?”

“I suppose not,” he dipped his head. “You really should be more sexually attentive to her needs, though. You were together for how many years and you’d never gone down on her? Jesus. Maybe you _are_ more into men.” He threw his own sneer back before lounging further in the chair, making a show of staying for a while.

Finn glared at him, face flushing. “I just didn't want to disappoint her. She always took such great care of me I was worried I couldn't measure up.” He grabbed Rey’s hand a bit harder. “But since she’s been back with me she’s been _incredibly_ satisfied. I knew what I had given up and I was determined to make it right however I could. _Including_ going down on her. For almost an hour.”

“An hour, huh? Impressive,” Kylo nodded, acting like he was thinking about something. “I wonder how bored she got. How many times she imagined she was anywhere else, imagining _anyone_ else doing that to her. But I digress; I'm not here to have a pissing contest. I'm here for _her_ , however she wants me. And if that's just being here as a friend, then so be it. You, on the other hand.. _._ how are things with Dameron going? He hasn’t looked too thrilled the last few visits I've been here. And he's not here now. What gives? Is the boyfriend not happy about the girlfriend?”

“Fuck you, man. From what I've heard you've never even _had_  a real relationship so you don't get to judge mine. You’re just an asshole who goes from a girl to her best friend. You disgust me. I bet you fucked Rey the same as Jess, probably even in the same places. Did you ever think about Jess when you were fucking Rey?” Finn rolled his eyes. “I have to wonder, though, who was the better lay. Jess, who has fucked everyone, or my sweet, _innocent_ Rey.”

“I bet you would like to know. At least I haven't cheated on anyone,” he shrugged. “But I will tell you one thing. You actually paying attention to her and _trying_ new things, even if you're unsure, would make her day. You know she'd be more than happy to guide you through however she wants it. She loves you that much.”

“No, you don't cheat. You just take advantage of vulnerable young girls and force your tongue down their throats in front of the real men who love them,” Finn snapped. “Take your self-righteous bullshit and leave us alone. She needs to be with the father of her _child_ right now.”  

He _almost_ said something he'd truly regret. _What child?_ Biting his tongue, he let Finn’s words roll over him as best he could. The man had a point--he shouldn't have kissed her like that, especially in front of Finn. “Absolutely, _mother._ ” He rolled his eyes, lifting himself from the chair.

He'd come back for Rey, to see how she was doing. Maybe he'd even catch her when Finn wasn't around.

___________

 

This wasn't a conversation Poe Dameron was intent on having, but Kylo was _there_ and it _did_ sort of involve him. Something told him that the men could maybe share in their...misery, was it? Not that he ever wanted to share much of anything with Kylo Ren, but this seemed important enough to discuss.

Stirring his coffee slowly, Poe made his way over to the other professor, who was glaring down at the copy machine. No one else was there.

“So,” Poe began, considering what words he really wanted to exchange with the other man.

Without even turning his head, Kylo flicked his eyes over at Poe for a moment before looking back down to the giant machine. The thing even had toner in it today. Woo! “What?”

“You get the email this morning, too?” Poe lands on. He cringes at his own words. Of course Kylo would have gotten the email. All of her professors did. Except that they were the only two who knew why Rey Niima, bright girl in the second semester of her junior year, had suddenly dropped all of her classes. “Shame about the money, don’t you think? I was considering going to the board and seeing if they would be a bit lenient in getting her reimbursed. It’s not her fault things...happened after add/drop. I figure it’s the least I can do.”

Actually, Kylo hadn't even checked his email that morning yet. “She what? She dropped?” he asked, stunned. He didn't know why he was stunned. It made perfect sense; she’d just lost her baby and her body and mind needed time to heal. He frowned down at the copier, watching the lights flashing under the tray as more papers got spit out.

“Oh. Yeah,” Poe replied. He leaned forward a bit to get a better look at Kylo’s expression, trying to get a read. “She was released from the hospital yesterday. And hey, speaking of money and all that junk, let me know when the bills come in. You were right and I _should_ have taken better precautions but I didn't want to presume anything. She became partially my responsibility when I opened my relationship up to include her and I didn't follow through as I should have. I just sort of saw the, uh, sexual possibilities and the baby seemed so far off.”

Poe shrugged then and took a sip of his coffee, looking at the bulletin board across from them before continuing. “How are you feeling, anyway? I know I've been better. What a way for a terrible week to get worse, right?”

“Yeah,” Kylo sighed, collecting the papers he was going to pass out at the next class. “I…” he hesitated, wondering if he should even bother telling Poe. The man had no right to know about his feelings, but at the same time, it seemed like everyone seemed to know how everytime else felt, already. “I miss her,” he admitted quietly, turning to lean against the wall, staring at the same bulletin board the other professor was.

“You know what’s weird? So do I. I won't lie, I wasn't exactly _thrilled_ when he brought it up to me, but I saw how he took their breakup and how happy he was about the baby and I knew I could give it a try. Plus, I don't have to tell you that she’s a hot piece of ass. I can see why you slept with her, she’s...enthusiastic,” Poe smirked for a moment, remembering the first time it had been all three of them. It wasn't his first but damn it if wasn't amazing.

Jerking his attention over to the other man, Kylo frowned. “Don't talk about her like that. She's not just a piece of ass.” Truthfully, he was getting the vibe that Poe didn't really care about her and was just spouting shit from his stupid face, like normal.

“Fair. She’s a good cook, and great at keeping a clean house, too,” Poe said, all sincerity. “Ah, I should have known it was only too perfect, but it was just so easy to fall into the fantasy of having this sweet little sexy housewife who would raise our babies for us and have dinner waiting when we got home. Not that I would have wanted to keep her knocked up or anything, I'm not an asshole, but it was nice to think that Fi--that he and I could have kids of our own with a woman we both cared about and be a family all together.”

“Why are you telling me this, Dameron?” Kylo finally snapped, his hands twitching.

“Because we both lost,” Poe said, barely conscious of the danger he was just in. “You lost her and I lost them both.”

Giving him a look, Kylo asked, “Did they dump you?” He replayed Finn’s words in his head and had a moment to wonder if the darker man had given Poe the same speech.

Poe nodded, taking another sip of his coffee. “There’s no room for me with them anymore. They’re both really fucked up after losing the baby and I couldn't help. I _tried,_ of course, but I didn’t...I was upset about it, still am, but it didn't mean to me what it meant for them. I would have loved the shit out of it, but at the end of the day, it was something intimate between only them. Maybe if I’d had her for longer I would have felt stronger, but there’s nothing I can do about it now. And I figure it’s for the best. Can’t get caught, after all. You know.”

“I guess so,” Kylo shrugged, thumbing through the papers. He groaned, rubbing one hand over his eyes before he finally turned to Poe. “I think I love her, Poe.” He never used the man’s first name. Ever. “No,” he corrected. “I know I do. And I don't know what to fucking _do_ about it. It was okay getting to know I'd at least see her every other day this semester. But now...now she's gone.”

Poe awkwardly clapped the other man on his shoulder, nodding sagely. “Yeah, I know. A man doesn't kiss a girl like that in front of her boyfriends unless he’s try to stake a claim and make a statement.” He let out a chuckle.”You should have _heard_ how pissed F--he was after that. After she went to sleep, he ranted and raved about how much he wanted to rip your “stupid, pouty lips” off, amongst other...appendages. It would have been adorable had that not been my first sign.”

“You know…” Kylo rubbed the back of his neck anxiously, looking Poe up and down. “I still don't like you. But you're not that bad.” He paused, sighing heavily, “So you want him, and I want her. Sounds like quite the predicament. Maybe we should just say fuck them both and go screw somewhere they'd catch us.” He was obviously joking. Right? Was it obvious enough? Well, he was.

Poe laughed at that, a full and robust sound. “You’re probably going to hate me for this, but if I get him back...I kind of want her still, too. Like I said, a girl with that enthusiasm is hard to find.”

“No, I don't hate you. I don't like you. But I don't hate you.” He ran a hand through his hair. “She _is_ amazing,” he sighed wistfully before pulling himself away from the wall, tucking the papers under his arm. “Anyway, see you later, Dameron. Good luck in class.”

“Good luck, _Solo!_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, we are by no means experts in the medical field, so the insurance nonsense may be incorrect. Just...go with it for the sake of the story bahaha


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please heed the tags. Finn has issues, and this is completely out of character for him. And this behavior is absolutely not okay.

With the semester in full swing, Kylo found himself positively buried in school work. He was always grading assignments, passing them out, or doing something generally work related like posting said grades. In his free time, he'd sent texts to Rey to make sure she was okay. She was still pretty upset (understandably), but she was a little perkier with each day, he'd noticed.

After a particularly long day filled with staff meetings and grading on top of trying to get his own errands finished, he found himself sitting on the oversized chaise lounge in his living room, his legs sprawled out across the lower half of the seat, shoes still on. Could he just have a moment to breathe without feeling overwhelmed?

Apparently Rey and Finn were doing well, from what he'd heard. He hadn't really asked, to be honest; he had no interest in the other man. He just wanted to make sure _she_ was okay. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he sighed heavily, twirling it as he contemplated.

Should he just leave her alone? The more he texted her, the more he was fracturing her a bit more. He should just leave her to heal with Finn. Then she could retry having a baby and this one would be okay and her life would be perfect. He just...couldn't, though. He couldn't let her go. It kept him awake at night, alone in his massive bed, aside from his cat tucked up by his feet.

Even now, as he sat in the lounge, he brought the phone’s screen to life and pulled up her contact, tapping out a quick sentence. Nothing serious. Just something light to maybe start a conversation. He didn't care what it was about, as long as it was with her.

_ <Class is horrible without you.> _

_ <What’s wrong? Are you missing my thrilling grasp of prose?> _

_ <Would you like me to attempt a rhyming couplet? (non-dirty, of course. Those arseholes in the back have the dirty ones covered)> _

_ <Maybe a limerick or two?> _

_ <I went to Limerick once, by the way. It was lovely.> _

_ <I’ve never regretted an assignment more.> _

_ <Nothing quite like rhymes about socks and cocks.> _

_ <Clever are the words of college boys.> _

And then, a minute later.

< _I miss you. I know I’m not supposed to, but I do. >. _

_ <I miss you, too.> _

This was a dangerous topic, one he'd tried to stay away from, but it always seemed to pop back up. He wanted to ask her to come back to class, to let him just be in her presence again, but that was selfish. She was happy with Finn, he had to keep telling himself--it did nothing to soothe the ache.

_ <I never got the chance to make you dinner.> _

_ <Are you free tonight?> _

_ <Finn is going out with one of his brothers. He needed to get out of the apartment.> _

_ <But I didn't want to intrude on the healing power of foster brothers so I declined to come.> _

_ <I am, but I don't want him to get the wrong idea.> _

_ <He doesn't like me, as it is.> _

_ <Not that I'm too fond of him, either.> _

_ <He knows you’re my good friend.> _

_ <Plus, life debt and all of that.> _

_ <You don't owe me anything.> _

She truly didn't. He didn't like people feeling obligated to him, and especially not when it came to Rey.

_ <Please.> _

_ <I'm sort of going stir crazy here.> _

_ <Plus, I’ve never seen your house with lights on.> _

He sighed at his phone. This was a bad idea; Finn was probably going to come chew him out for it later, but...Rey was her own person and she could make her own decisions.

_ <All right. Do you have any preference for food?> _

_ <I'm happy with anything.> _

_ <Surprise me <3 > _

He frowned slightly at the heart, even as his own responded, picking up in speed against his ribcage. What did she mean by it? He remembered what she'd said when she had been in the hospital, under the influence of some heavy painkillers. Did she mean that?

_ <Come on over, then.> _

_ <Address please, Professor.> _

_ <You mean you don't remember? I'm scandalized.> _

_ <2017 Winter Rd> _

_ <Is now too soon?> _

_ <Never.> _

Rey was excited to finally have something to do. After the pain meds wore away and the soul-eating guilt started to ebb, she found herself a bit...bored. Finn had been _wonderful_ , of course, so loving and attentive. He’d really turned into the picture-perfect boyfriend in the wake of their loss, which was something Rey decided she didn't want to think about too hard. He’d cried and apologized just as often as she had, breaking things off with Poe so he could give her all of his love, like he always should have. She’d forgiven him again and was exalted by his likewise forgiveness. As soon as they were in the clear, he wanted to try again. He even…

Rey knocked on Kylo’s door, feeling her heart quicken. This was innocent. This was normal. Friends went to friend's houses for dinner. And she hadn't left the house except to go to the doctors for nearly three weeks now, so would anyone blame her for doing her hair and putting on makeup and wearing a dress? She wanted to feel _human_ again. There was nothing weird about this.  

Throwing the pasta into the boiling water, Kylo took a moment to look down at how much he'd put in, wishing he had one of those devices that measured portion sizes. He'd made enough pasta on accident to feed a small army, but maybe he could send Rey home with leftovers. That was okay, right? Wiping his hands off, he slung the dishtowel over his shoulder and looked at the door as he heard her knock.

She'd actually come by. He didn't know why but he'd been half expecting her to cancel for some reason. Opening the door, he sucked in a small breath. She looked just as beautiful as ever, though there was a sadness in her beautiful hazel eyes, the darkness in them a bit more prominent. He offered her a small smile and stepped aside to let her in. “Hey,” he said, ignoring the way his pulse was fluttering. “I hope you're hungry. I made too much, like usual.”

She'd done her hair and makeup, and it was a vast contrast to the last few times he'd seen her.

“That sounds wonderful. I've been trying to eat more lately, and pasta would really hit the spot,” Rey said. She inhaled as she stepped into his house, delighting in the combined smell of cooking pasta and...him. “Thank you so much for this, by the way. I can only have so many more movie nights with Jess and Rose.” She stripped herself of her coat and hung it in his closet, maintaining a hold on her purse the whole time.

Nodding, he closed the door behind her and headed back towards the kitchen. “Anytime. I hope this sauce isn’t awful. It’s been a long time since I've made any.” He checked the heat on one of the burners before rummaging around in the cabinet for some extra spices, adding them to the tomato sauce in a separate pan. “What movies have you been watching recently?” he asked as he set to stirring.

She shrugged. “Teen comedies. A lot of movies that don't have any serious plots. I’ve watched Napoleon Dynamite like three times.” She laughed. “That movie doesn't even _have_ a plot. There is no conflict, no overarching theme. It's perfect for trying to keep your mind unoccupied.”

He shrugged back, chuckling a little bit. “Hey, if it works, it works. I haven't seen that movie in forever.” He looked over at her and smirked. “You know, you could drink whole milk if you wanted to.”

Rey laughed. “I caught you a delicious bass.” she did not do a good impression, her accent got in the way, but she knew Kylo didn't mind. “I brought wine, by the way. I wasn’t sure if you like red or white, so I hoped a rose would have split the difference.” She pulled the bottle from her bag with her right hand and held it out him.

He didn't know why he was a little shocked she'd brought wine. Wine was usually something reserved for more...intimate dinners. Well, friends drank together all the time, right? And it _was_ spaghetti. Couldn't have Italian food with something else to wash it down with. “Oh, you didn't have to, but that was nice of you. I'm an any-color wine person, as long as it isn't too dry. So that's fantastic.” He took the bottle from her and set it on the counter as he dug around in one of the drawers for the bottle opener. “Could you get a couple of plates out? They're up there,” he said, gesturing with his wooden spoon to the cabinets on the same side as the stove, just a little further down.

Rey moved to reach for the plates in question, pulling down two. She wasn't surprised that all of his kitchen pieces were black. It suited him. She glanced to see that he had also made a salad, so she grabbed down to wooden bowls from a higher shelf. Well, she tried to, at least.

“You know, I'm not even _short_ technically. But why do you have these way up here?” She whined, trying to reach for them. She half contemplated climbing on the counter.

“Probably because I don't cook unless it's a special occasion. And you definitely _are_ short,” he snickered as he moved around to reach over her for the bowls, decidedly ignoring the way he had to press his chest to her back to reach them. He set the bowls down on the counter beside the plates, moving quickly back to his spot by the stove. This was a safe spot. He couldn't touch her over here.

“I am not. I am exactly the highest height of the average female, thank you very much,” she grumbled petulantly. She gathered up the dinnerware and moved to set them at the table. “Silverware?”

Pointing to another drawer, he gave her a sly smirk, “Perfect height for you to reach.” He drained the noodles in the sink before throwing them back into the pot and double checking the sauce. It seemed ready. He'd taste tested it a few times and it seemed pretty good. Bringing the pot and the saucepan to the table, he set them on hot pads before going to a different cabinet to grab a few wine glasses.

“Arse,” Rey muttered as she opened the drawer and collected the silverware. She opened his fridge and grabbed some Italian dressing, barely sparing a thought to if it bothered him at all that she took it upon herself to open his fridge. Like everything else she had seen of his apartment, his fridge was clean and orderly. She had to admire that.

Making sure everything was on the table where it should be, salad included, he waited until she’d taken her seat. It was set right next to his, at the head of the table, separated only by the sharp angle where the table curved. Now that he didn’t really have anything to occupy himself with, like cooking, and she was there, so close, he fumbled for something to talk about.

“Are you coming back to class next semester?” he finally asked, eyes intent on dumping some parmesan onto the spaghetti on his plate. She’d have the rest of this semester and then all of summer to finish healing.

“I was going to take courses for the summer so that I can still graduate next year. I…,” Rey hesitated, staring down at her plate. Her hands were clasped below the table, shaking slightly.

“Oh, okay,” he nodded gently, twirling some noodles around on his fork. “But?”

“No, no, it’s not a “but”. It’s...it’s more of an “and”,” Rey said quietly.

“And?” His mouth twitched downwards, brows knitting together. “And what?” He set his fork down, his noodles forgotten as he looked at her, seeing how anxious she seemed. “Whatever you need, I’ll do my best to help.”

“And then we’re getting married,” she said, setting her left hand on the table. And there, adorning her ring finger, was a yellow gold band with a simple quarter carat solitaire.

Lowering his eyes to where her hand rested on the table, he blinked slowly as he took in the ring. His lips parted, his breath leaving him in a rush like he’d just had the wind knocked from his lungs with the cruelest of blows. Rey was marrying Finn. The Finn that he’d acted as a rebound for. The Finn that had destroyed her. The Finn that hadn’t even given her every experience in bed, the one that had betrayed her. That Finn. The ring looked...wrong on her hand. It was a pretty piece of jewelry, but it didn’t fit. Not to say that it looked bad or anything, because it was very classy. It was just from the wrong person.

Finally realizing that she was probably waiting for him to say something, he whispered, “Oh.” It was barely audible, even in the quiet house. The dishwasher wasn’t running, the water heater was silent. It felt like a bomb had been dropped and all sense of sound had been ripped away.

“Just “Oh"?” Rey repeated. “Is that...is that all you have to say?”

“What do you want me to say?” he asked quietly, his heart thundering in his chest, beating profusely to get blood pumping around the knife in it. “That I don’t want you to do it? Or that I’m happy for you? Because both are true.” He stared down at the food, his appetite suddenly gone.

She hadn't realized she was crying until she felt a tear slip down her cheek. “I didn’t...I haven't said yes. He said I could...he’s letting me think about it. I said I didn’t want to make such a big decision on top of an emotional trauma. I didn't want to make it without talking to you.” She wiped a tear away with her left hand, grimacing down at the ring. “He just asked that I wear it...tonight.”

“Did he know you were going to be here tonight?” Kylo asked, his thoughts somehow working at the speed of light and jumbled everywhere at the same time.

“Of course he did,” Rey said. “I even sent him your address, just in case.” She winced then. “Okay, may not have been the best idea. But he knows you’re honorable. He just wanted me to wear the ring so I could...get used to it?” She then groaned, resting her forehead in her hands. “But I don't know if I want to. I didn't say “yes" right away, Kylo. I've waited almost five _years_ for him to ask me that question, but then I saw the ring and I thought about everything and I said nothing. The man I’ve loved since I was sixteen asked me to marry him, asked to start a family with me, everything I always wanted, and I said nothing. Why didn't I say anything?”

He sighed heavily, shoving a hand through his hair as he leaned back in the chair, trying to come up with something to say. He felt so blindsided by this, but he had to have known it would happen. She’d gotten back together with Finn, and he should have known their relationship would only have grown stronger. But this soon? He thought he’d have had more time.

“Rey,” he started, closing his eyes as he dropped his head back. “When you were in the hospital, you said something to me. Do you remember what it was?”

Rey looked up at him, slowly lowering her hands back under the table, hiding the offending piece of jewelry. She bit her lip, taking a breath before saying, in a voice barely above a whisper, “I told you I loved you.”

“Did you mean that?” he asked, opening his eyes to look up at the ceiling. He couldn’t look at her, couldn’t see her expression when she told him it had just been a lie.

“I did. I...I do,” Rey said, feeling her heart squeeze. Fuck, what was she doing? She had Finn. She was technically _engaged_. But she hadn't said yes...was this why?

She did love him. She does love him. So she says. Lifting his head to look back down at her, he nodded slightly as his heart gave a traitorous throb. He wanted to be mad at her, to ask why the hell she would think about marrying someone when her heart was torn. Instead, he felt the words slip from his own mouth in a hushed breath, “I love you, too.”

“ _Why?_ ” Rey asked, new tears spilling out. “I've been absolutely _horrid_ to you. I don't even deserve your friendship, much less your love. And you...you don't even _do_ relationships! You just have amazing, god so amazing, semi-casual sex with a person until it's over. You shouldn't want me to be that person who changes things for you. I'm mean and selfish and...and _broken._ I couldn't even do the thing I was biologically made to do!”

“No, I don’t do relationships,” he agreed with a dip of his head. “But I’m not exactly in one, am I?” He gave her a sad smile. “So maybe I don’t even know what love is, but I do know that I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I think about you constantly, I want to touch you...constantly. It’s physically painful for me to see you with _him._ But he makes you happy, so I don’t say anything.” He straightened in his chair again, fixing her with an intense stare. “I do know that you are not broken. You may be a little selfish, but that’s okay. You want what you want; you aren’t mean, and you certainly aren’t horrid.”

He took in a breath, continuing, “And even if I do _just_ have semi-casual sex with people, which I haven’t since you, by the way, I have never felt for them what I feel for you right now. And if that isn’t love...then I’m fucked either way.”

“Oh, Kylo,” Rey whispered. She twitched to reach out for him, but she wasn't sure if that was appropriate. He had said he loved her, and she loved him, but she was still with Finn...right? “I don't know what to do. I don't know what I'm _supposed_ to do. I love you but Finn...he…”

Rey pushed away from the table, just guessing where his living room was as she moved to some place with more comfort. She felt wild and confused and needed to sink into the couch to ground herself. She pulled knees to her chest, wrapping her arms tightly around them and laying her forehead on them. What was the right thing to do? What was the right thing? What? What? What?

He watched her go, wondering if she wanted him to follow her or not. She seemed like she wanted to be left alone, so he got up and went to poke his head in the living room, “I’m going to be cleaning up out here whenever you’re ready to come out. Stay as long as you want, all right? I don’t want to influence whatever you’re thinking about.” He knew exactly what she was thinking about. Giving her one last lingering look, he turned to go back to the kitchen, picking up his dish towel as he began scrubbing the pots and pans he’d used to cook dinner.

Kylo was lost in his own thoughts, and he kept debating on going to check on her, to see if she was okay. He’d even taken a few steps in her direction before he changed his mind again and went back to working on the dishes, washing them by hand in the sink, and then setting them on the rack to dry, losing his frustrations in the monotony of it all. After what seemed like forever of not hearing from her, he finally set everything down and went back into the living room. “Rey?”

“Tell me what to do,” she grumbled quietly. “You’re a professor, you’re smart. You have to know the right answer to this.”

Crossing the room to the couch, he sat beside her, turning his body towards hers. “I don’t know the answer to this, Rey. I can give you the answer to anything related to English, but not to this. This is something you have to figure out on your own. Critical thinking, right?” The corners of his mouth twitched into something resembling a smile as he reached over and took her hand, turning it to inspect the ring. “But I do know one thing. And that’s if you decide to marry him, I truly hope it works out for you this time. But if it doesn’t...I’ll still be here, doing what I always do, waiting for you.”

“Tell me your honest opinion,” Rey demanded softly. “You seem to dislike Finn a lot, besides the fact that he cheated on me, but then you keep telling me that if he makes me happy, it’s fine. There’s more. What is it?”

“Aside from the fact that I know he only asked you to wear this ring tonight, of all nights, because he knew I’d see it?” he shook his head. “I think the only reason he wants you back is because of what happened. And I hate to be the one to bring it up, but if you hadn’t been pregnant, do you truly think he would be in the picture right now?”

“I--I don't know,” She said, voice wavering a bit.

He gave her hand a soft squeeze before letting it go. “The rest of it doesn’t really matter. He said some things while you were asleep, but they were more about me than you.”

“What did he say?” Rey prompted. What had Finn said behind her back that he couldn't say in front of it?

Hanging his head a bit, Kylo said, “He said I disgust him because I went from fucking a girl, to fucking her best friend--you. That I probably did it in the same places and the same way with both of you.That he wondered if I thought about her while I was with you. Or who the better lay was.” He sighed, rubbing his forearm across his face. “It says more about me than it does you. Don’t worry about it.”

“Is any of that true?” she asked in a small voice, tucking her hands between her legs and torso.

Glancing up at her, he nodded, “Some of it. That time in my office...that had been the same. To be fair, though, there’s only so many ways to have sex on a desk. I wasn’t really thinking. And yes, I went from Jess to you, but you already knew that. I never once thought about her, though. It was only ever you. Just you. I told you I was an asshole.”

Rey swallowed thickly, digesting that information. She supposed she should have guessed that he had had sex with Jessika in his office, it made sense. And she’d long since absolved her friend of any bregrudgings, as the past was in the past. Although it did hurt to know that he had repeated the act from one girl to the other, she knew it wasn’t fair to hold him to standards she wasn’t holding Jessika to. Besides, he had said he loved her and she knew he _never_ said that to Jess. So it was easy to believe that he was being honest when he said he hadn’t thought about the other girl while they were in the act of fornication.

“Would you be honest with me again if I asked you something else?” Rey asked.

Meeting her eyes, he nodded again, “Of course. I’ve never lied to you, Rey.”

“Do you think Finn’s too...possessive?” She frowned, looking at her ring again. She should have just taken it off once she got in the car, but she’d had a small amount of panic thinking that Finn would have noticed the lack of indent if it wasn’t on long enough. “Poe came over the other day...to talk. Sort of. Sorry, I shouldn’t discuss those types of details.” She blushed at that, looking everywhere but at him. “Anyway, we didn’t get very... _far_ because Finn wasn’t, um, sharing? And Poe sort of flipped out on him and said all these things and then it turned into this big mess and it was kind of insane.”

“What happened? I talked with Poe a bit myself the day we got the notice you’d dropped our classes. I’ll explain in a minute, but what did Finn say, exactly?” He rested back against the cushions, leaning his head back, though he turned it to look at her, taking in the way wisps of her hair fell around her face.

“I don’t really know, I got out of there as fast as I could once they nearly threw down. It was all a bit overwhelming to say the least. Poe accused Finn of using him as an experiment, Finn accused Poe of using _us_ as an experiment, and then Poe went and said if he could pick one of us it would be me, which shocked me to say the least, and then Finn kind of attacked him and said...um...he said that no one else could have me, that I belonged to him and always would.” Rey made a face, sighing in distress. “I’m trying not to put too much thought into that, it was strictly heat of the moment, but then Poe kept pushing him about how obsessed he’d seemed even during our break up. I guess Finn was keeping tabs on me? On my phone? Some sort of tracking thing. But I didn’t see any evidence of that and Finn denied it so I just figured Poe was speaking out of the need to hurt us. But then Finn asked me to wear this ugly thing tonight and I can’t help but think...I dunno, it’s nothing, right? He just loves me a lot.”

“Fuck,” he growled, jerking upright again. “Give me your phone. I can tell you right now if that tracking part is true.”

Rey untangled herself from her limbs and got up to retrieve her phone from her purse, handing it over it him gingerly. She perched back on the couch, sitting closer to him so she could crane her neck and watch whatever he was going to do. She had wanted to argue that she _was_ pursuing a technical major and she had checked it out herself, but if it made Kylo feel better to look…

Situating himself so that he could comfortably hold the phone and show her what he was doing, he opened up the settings and scrolled down to the system logs, clicking through menus until he found one that was asking for some kind of key to unlock root access. Having the same brand of phone, he inputted a few, only for them to get rejected before he tried another and the phone unlocked, giving him full access to the various programs that had ever been installed.

He swiped through everything until he stopped on one and tapped on it, bringing up more information. “There it is. It’s still on there,” he told her, handing her phone back to her. “It’s disguised as something else. But it’s there. You can see how this .apk,” he pointed to one and then backed up and pointed to another from a different program, “doesn’t match this one.”

Shaking his head, he stood and paced the room. “So based on that alone, yes I think he’s too possessive. What kind of person installs a tracker on another person’s phone without consent? I think you know exactly who. And if he’s saying that no one else can have you, that is a _huge_ red flag, Rey. Huge. I don’t feel comfortable with you going back there, especially after you’ve been with me all night so far. I don’t want him to hurt you or accuse you of doing anything that didn’t happen.”

Rey frowned at that, shaking her head as she watched him pace. “No, Kylo, no. He would _never_ ...he’s not the physical type. I don’t think he actually would have landed a hit on Poe. He did _like_ Poe, after all. A lot, obviously.”

Coming to a stop in front of her, he levelled her with an intensely concerned look, “Abuse doesn’t have to be physical, Rey. Mental and emotional abuse are very real things, and controlling behavior falls into that category, and they’re just as traumatizing. Control is not love.” He stepped forward until he was almost hovering over her, reaching up to gingerly cup her face in his hands as he said, “If it was actually him that installed this, then we have a problem. Who else has access to your phone?”

“Jessika would be the only other person who has access to it, but that’s only because we live together,” Rey answered. “What did Poe say to you before? You said you guys talked after you got my drop email.”

Dropping his hands from her face, he sighed again, “He said he’d lost you both and then he went on about how if he got Finn back, he wanted you back too. Said it was hard to find a girl with your...enthusiasm. In the bedroom.” He paused, recalling the conversation. “And that day in the hospital that you kissed me, and I kissed you back, after you fell asleep and I left, I guess Finn went on a rant to Dameron about how much he wanted to...how’d he phrase it? Rip my ‘stupid, pouty lips’ off, along with other things, I guess.”

“Damnit, Poe,” Rey muttered, groaning afterwards. “I’m sorry you had to hear any of that. I’m sorry I ever dragged you into this mess in the first place. You’re much too good of a person to get caught up in my messy life.” She stood up, moving towards the front door. “I’m just going to go talk to Finn. He should be home soon. I’ll just lay it all out and ask him what’s actually going on. I’ll show him the tracking app and see if he confesses, and I’ll tell him about what Poe told you. He’ll have to come clean, right?”

“Do you want me to go with you?” Kylo offered, frowning. “I just don’t like this at all. I know you can probably handle yourself and he might not physically harm you, but…”

Rey hesitated, nearly putting her coat on. “Does it really scare you that much?” Seeing the concern in his eyes, she lowered her arms and sighed, leaning against the wall. It was the same wall he’d pressed her up against the first time she’d come here, when he’d stripped her of her skirt and ran his hands over her body. She fought to keep that image out of her mind and focus on more important things. “What am I supposed to do? I can’t very well _not_ go back. He’s expecting me. And I can’t go back to my actual apartment, because Jess won’t tolerate him if he tries to drag me back.” She wasn’t going to tell Kylo about the night last week when Finn had pounded on the door at 2AM after she and Jess had fallen asleep on the couch watching _Aladdin_ . It wasn’t malicious, it was just his concern. She _had_ said she would be coming home afterwards, after all. It was sweet that he had carried her down to the car and taken her back home, even if Jessika pitched a fit and insisted that it wouldn’t hurt to let Rey sleep in her own bed again.

“You can either...stay here, in a guest room, or I can let you go and trust he won’t try anything,” he watched her hands on her coat. “Or, there’s one more option. You can go, and I can wait outside if things go south. If they don’t, great. And I’ll leave. If they do, then I can come help. We can have a silent call, if you want. I’ll listen and stay quiet. If something isn’t right, say a code word or something and I’ll be right up. It’s your choice, though. I just want you safe, Rey.” He tried to ignore the memory that popped into his head of the last time they’d spoken over the phone, where she’d let him talk dirty to her until she got off. He shuddered, rolling his shoulders to disperse the image.

Rey reached up a hand to gently cup his face. “You’re too kind to me, Kylo. Excluding the first day we met,” she smirked at that, knowing she’d never let that go, “you’ve treated me with nothing but kindness. I don’t know what I did to deserve you coming into my life.”

He couldn’t help the way he leaned into her hand, eyes drifting shut, “Just by being you.” He didn’t care that he was a school official and she’d been his student. None of that mattered anymore; only her safety did.

Rey thought for a moment, considering the options. “I don’t think he’d do anything. However, I _do_ plan to talk to him as soon as he gets home so, if it would make you feel better, I suppose I’m okay with playing secret spy together. And then you’ll see that there’s nothing to worry about. He’ll either come clean and we’ll figure it out, or...well, we’ll just see. Is that alright with you?

“Yeah, we can do that,” he nodded, dropping his gaze down to her lips for a lingering moment before he forced himself to pull away, reaching into the coat closet to get his own jacket. He took a deep breath, steeling himself. “All right, let’s do this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey goes to Kylo's for dinner, and Rey reveals Finn has asked her to marry him, but she hasn't given him an answer. 
> 
> Kylo and Rey confess their mutual love, but nothing intimate happens. Rey mentions how Finn asked her to wear the ring tonight, and Kylo asks if Finn knew she'd be there. She said yes, and then it comes out that there's been a tracking app installed on her phone, but very well hidden, so they head off to confront Finn about it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another rough chapter. Please be advised.

Rey had insisted on eating some more of the food before they left, knowing that Finn wouldn’t be home yet and food was such a sad thing to waste. But the entire time her mind was running wildly, thinking about everything in her and Finn’s relationship up until this point. Sure, the tracking thing was odd, but maybe he was just worried? After all, had she not been with Kylo when she’d nearly miscarried, he wouldn’t have known. And the ring thing was weird, but he had said that it would help her visualize their engagement better if she was wearing it. Of course, the thing with Poe had been a bit off. Finn hadn’t been terribly selfish with her attentions in bed before; in fact, he seemed almost proud to share her with Poe, and he _definitely_ had a thing for watching them, but she had to admit that he was always odd about Poe showing her any amount of affection outside of the bedroom. But maybe he was just picking up on her energy for not being quite there with Poe yet, not quite to the point of welcoming his random kisses. She was still convinced that Poe only said what he said about wanting only her the other day because he was upset with Finn and wanted to hurt him. Sure, she may have been an eager and proper participant (or what was it Kylo said he said? Enthusiastic?) but it was all a new experience for her and her pregnancy hormones were a bit crazy, so she was sure Poe knew what he would really be inheriting should he chose to pursue her solo in earnest.

Rey waited until near 10PM to head back to Finn’s, which was their previously agreed-upon time for them both to return home. Kylo kept a safe distance behind her but she could almost _feel_ his eyes on the back of her head the whole drive there. This was silly, she told herself. Finn was perfectly sweet and his behavior was normal. He wasn’t abusive in any manner. Kylo was just being...a good friend who was showing their concern. But there wasn’t anything to _be_ concerned about. Kylo would hear. Finn would come clean and everything would stay calm and things would go back to being how they were before Christmas break. And she would marry Finn. Because that was what she wanted. Right?

Finn’s car was already in his parking space when Rey arrived. She wondered if that was a good or a bad sign.

Pressing the call button on Kylo’s name, Rey made her way into the apartment, tucking the active device into her pocket once Kylo answered. Nothing would happen. Things would be fine. Kylo would see. And then she’d figure out what she wanted. Right?

“Hey sweetie, I’m home,” Rey called out as she entered the apartment.

Finn came out of the kitchen, tucking his phone back into his pocket, raking his eyes over Rey as he gave her a smile. “Hey, how was your dinner, Peanut?”

Rey smiled. He was fine. This was fine. “It was really good, thanks. Kylo made spaghetti.” She approached him and gave him a gentle kiss, frowning as she pulled back a bit. “Please tell me you had that beer once you got home. You know how I feel about drinking and driving.”

“No, it was while I was out. But I’m _fine_. I want to hear all about your night. You were gone for what, a couple hours? Dinner takes that long?” He rolled his eyes as he stepped back, stripping his jacket off and tossing it onto the back of the couch.

Rey frowned at that, following him slowly back into the living room. She set her coat down carefully, mindful of the phone inside. She did her best to angle it so that it wouldn’t be muffled.

“When you’re catching up with a friend they do,” Rey said, shrugging. “How was Nine? Is he still with the corp?”

Flopping onto the couch, Finn patted the space next to him, holding up an arm for her to tuck herself under. “He’s good, yeah. Just got promoted. And come on, you know Kylo sees you as more than a friend. He’d jump your bones in a heartbeat.”

Rey moved into his embrace, tucking her feet onto the couch beside her. “That’s not fair, Finn. He’s very respectful. He even congratulated us on our engagement, and he meant it sincerely.”

He cocked his head at that, a grin forming on his face. “Did he? I would have loved to have been there. Is that a yes, then? You’re going to marry me and be mine forever?” He leaned over to kiss her temple, arm tightening around her.

“I--I’m--just give me a bit more time, okay? I want to make sure I’ve thought this through. I’m still hurt over our breakup,” Rey said, ignoring the emphasis he put on “mine”. It wasn’t unusual, lots of people talked like that.

“You know the only way I’ll leave is if someone pries me away from you. I meant it when I said I wanted to get back together. I was so stupid to have broken up in the first place. This is all my fault. We never would be going through this if it weren’t for me,” he said as he turned pleading eyes to her. “What is there to think about, though? You love me, and I love you. That’s that.”

“Finn, I looked into my phone after what Poe said the other day.” She looked up at him, her gaze deadly serious. “Did you already know Kylo’s address before I gave it to you tonight? Did you beat me home because you knew when I was leaving?”

“I--no--where is this coming from?” He gave her a puzzled look, frowning deeply. “Of course not. I just decided to come home because I’d rather be here with you than out there. What’s going on, Rey?”

Rey’s brows furrowed at that. Oh. Maybe Kylo had lied to her then? After all, she hadn’t seen anything when she’d looked, and yet Kylo was able to find it. But had he only found it because he knew what he was looking for because he...put it there himself? Was this all just deflecting?

“It’s...nothing,” she muttered. “Or wait, no, there’s more. Did you _threaten_ Kylo? To hurt him while I was in the hospital?”

“No! Well, yeah, but not serious or anything. It was just a joke. I wouldn’t actually hurt the guy,” Finn stumbled, trying to quickly recover from his lie. “I was just so mad that he’d kissed you. He practically shoved his tongue down your throat in front of us, Rey. What was I supposed to do?”

“I guess that’s true. And you know I’m sorry about that still, right? It was...that day was hard,” Rey said.

“Yeah, it was. I don’t really want to think about it...so let’s just...sit here and watch a movie or something.” He bumped his head against hers, and froze, leaning over to inhale over her face. “You smell different. Like his cologne or something. You guys weren’t...he didn’t fuck you, did he? Did he rape you?”

Rey gasped and pushed away, eyes wide. “ _What?_ Holy shit, Finn, _no!_ I probably smell a bit like him because he hugged me before I left! Good god, what could possibly make you think he’d do something like that?”

Finn held up his hands, “Hey, the guy’s thirsty. I wouldn’t put it past him, or anyone. But you’re not theirs to touch. So if you say he didn’t...but really, a hug? He didn’t like, grope your ass or anything?”

“You’re _being_ an arse, Finn. The man is a professor, for starters, and he is a gentlemen who respects the boundaries of our relationship. He didn’t just lure me to his house so he could, like, steal me from your or something,” Rey scoffed, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms over her chest.

“Well you _are_ his little Kitten, right? I’m sure he’d probably try to lure you in somehow,” Finn snapped, getting back to his feet, swaying slightly as the alcohol hit him even more. “Did he make you call him Professor when he fucked you?”

Rey froze, her eyes wide and her heart pounding. “What did you--what did you just say? Where did you hear that nickname?”

Realizing his slip up, Finn tried to cover for himself, “Oh, he uhm, he mentioned it in the hospital while you were sleeping. He was trying to rub it in my face that you’d slept together.”

“That doesn’t sound like him to me,” Rey argued, slowing sitting up further. “He wouldn’t have bragged like that, and he _definitely_ wouldn’t have told you something so...so intimate.”

“Yeah, well, he did!” Finn insisted, crossing his arms over his chest. “He bragged about it, and how fucking good you feel, and...and…” He was floundering now, realizing that he’d fucked up. “So that’s why I wanted you to wear that ring. To show him that you were with me and not him anymore.”

“Is _that_ why you proposed? To keep me away from anyone else? For fuck’s sake, you literally just invited someone else into our bed the other night, although I don’t think we need to rehash how _that_ particular evening went,” Rey said.

“Poe can go fuck himself! He isn’t allowed to touch you. No one is.” He glared, stepping towards her. “Kylo can’t either. And if he has a problem with not hugging you and probably grinding against your leg like a dog, then he can come tell me.”

“Where the hell is this attitude coming from? You don’t own me, Finn, ring or not. If I want to touch another human being, I will. Especially if it’s something as innocent as a hug!” Rey argued, not backing down. In fact, she stood up, ready to face him head on. He wouldn’t hurt her, she knew that. But if he needed to see how serious she was, she’d show him.

“Because you belong to me!” he finally yelled, kicking the ottoman in front of the couch, snapping his eyes back up to glare at her. “You’re my girl, and no one else is going to take you away from me!”

Rey yelped, jumping back. Okay, maybe she wasn’t as strong as she thought she was. Seeing a man in rage was always terrifying.

“Finn, sweetie, calm down. There’s no reason to act like this,” she attempted to soothe, reaching out to grab his arm.

“Don’t fucking touch me until you’ve washed your damn hands. I don’t want any trace of him on me,” he snarled, stalking around the living room. He finally made his way into the kitchen and knocked some glasses from the counter on the floor, the shattering of glass only adding to his rage. Why was it so fucking loud?

“ _Finn!_ Jesus, what are you doing?” Rey snapped, hurrying in after him. She took a breath, trying to calm down herself and him. “You’re being ridiculous and you should go lie down. This isn’t like you. You’re not this--this-- _brute._ ”

“Why? So you can go back to his house? I know you want to screw him, and as soon as I go to sleep, you’re going to slip out and do it, and then sneak back in before I can see it,” he growled, pulling his phone from his pocket and waving it at her.

“What? No, no, I wouldn’t. And I don’t want to. I love you, even if you’re making that very hard right now. You just need to calm down. The alcohol is making you act like some sort of a possessive madman,” Rey said, her eyes tracking the movement of the phone. “Finn. Answer me this honestly: did you tap my phone?”

Finn glowered at her, still waving the phone at her until it was nearly smashed against her nose. “Yes. And I’m glad, too. Because I know everything you’ve been up to that you haven’t told me. Fucking Kitten? Really, Rey? That’s gross.”

Rey snapped back as if she’d been jolted. “What the _fuck_ , Finn!? Do I have to remind you that you’re the one who broke up with me? I don’t have to explain anything I did while we were apart, just like I didn’t make you!” Realization dawns on her. “Wait, how long have you been tapping my phone for?”

“Long enough. I know everything. You can’t hide it. The _I miss you’s_ , the texts, the fucking phone sex. I know about it all. Started doing it at the beginning of college because I worried about other guys fawning over you.”

Rey feels a hollowness in her stomach, thinking about every text she’d sent Kylo since she got back together with Finn. Sure, she told him that she missed him, but the conversations were never anything more than friendly. Even today, it was so easy to interpret that was a friendly missing. That’s how she had meant it, right? And another thing...

“You listened to me having phone sex?” Rey asked. “You were with _Poe_ at the time. Why on _Earth_ did you care?”

Jumping at the sound of a loud, very demanding knock on the door, Finn threw another glare at Rey, ignoring her question. “Look what you did,” he hissed.

“What _I_ did?” Rey challenged, annoyed. She looked down at the shattered glass and sighed. “You can get the door. I’ll clean this up.”

Storming over to the door, Finn pulled it open, only to come face to face with a very tall, very looming, and most of all, very _angry_ Professor Ren. “What the fuck do you want?” Finn barked out. “Rey doesn’t want to see you!” He tried to slam the door shut, only for it to be stopped by a large, pale hand.

“Open the door, Finn,” he said, his voice dark and dangerously low.

“Kylo?” Rey called out, kneeling of the floor and carefully picking up the glass. She’d completely forgotten about the phone once her fight with Finn started. Fuck. She had a feeling this wasn’t going to go well.

Pushing past Finn none too gently, sending the drunken man stumbling, Kylo stepped into the apartment, taking up a lot of the small space. He slipped into the kitchen where he heard Rey’s voice and absorbed the scene of the broken glass, and the look on her face. “Are you all right?” he asked her gently.

Apparently Finn had been hot on his heels, because the other man grabbed his arm and tried to spin him around, only for Kylo to roughly shrug him off.

“I’m--,” Rey faltered, unsure of how to answer that question. She wasn’t fine, things had very suddenly gotten fucked up in her relationship tonight, but how else does a person answer that question. She stood up and deposited the last of the glass into the trash, wondering if it had been a terrible idea to allow Kylo to follow her. Wondering if it would have been a worse idea for him not.

“She’s fine, we’re fine! But you need to get out _now!”_ Finn shouted, looking around for something to grab. “Leave now or I’m calling the cops for trespassing. I’ll also tell them that you had a student in your house and that you fucking raped her. GET. OUT!”

Rey went to stand between them, glaring at Finn. “Finn, stop it! You’re drunk. Just go lie down, _please._ ”

Kylo gave her a pleading look, “Rey, I think you need to leave now. This isn’t...this isn’t good. He needs to get help.”

Rey looked back at Kylo for just a moment before turning back to Finn. “Finn, sweetie, you need to calm down. Let us help you get into bed, okay?”

Sensing that his relationship was about to come to a very bad ending, Finn reached out for Rey, his demeanor completely shifting. “I’m sorry, Rey, I’m sorry. I’ll go to bed, just...let’s talk about this in the morning, okay? I’ll go to bed, I promise. Just...stay.”

Rey felt her heart break a little at his gentle plea, her confused body melting into his touch. Whoever that person was just a moment ago wasn’t Finn. This was Finn. She loved this person.

“Okay, sweetie. I’ll stay,” Rey promised softly.

“Okay, just...just come to bed with me,” he said, taking her hand, holding it tightly.

“Rey…” Kylo said quietly, frowning. She shouldn’t stay here. This was not a good place for her to be. Anywhere but here, really.

Rey hesitated, looking at where Finn was holding her hand and then back at Kylo. When she turned to look back at Finn, she could have sworn she saw something different on his face, something akin to...was that gloating? She carefully extracted her hand from Finn’s hold, brows furrowed as she looked at him.

“No, Finn, I don’t think I will,” she said. “I’m--I’m going to go back to my apartment for the night and let you sleep this off on your own. You can call me in the morning and we’ll talk about all of this, okay?”

“What--no! You can’t leave!” Finn cried, looking around wildly.

Kylo spoke from where he was standing behind Rey, looking over the top of her head at the younger man. “Yes she can. You may not like me, and I get it. I do. But she’s done nothing wrong.”

“Fuck you! Fuck you both,” Finn hissed, already dragging himself towards the bedroom. Much more quietly, he repeated the words, slamming the door behind him.

Rey winced at the slam of the door. “I’m...I’m really sorry Kylo. I’m sure you don’t need all of this on top of everything else in your life. Aren’t midterms soon?”

“Don’t be sorry,” he said to her, still staring at the bedroom door. “But yes, they are. I think this might be a bit more important at the moment, though.” He turned to her, then. “Do you need a ride to your apartment?”

Rey kept staring at the door, fighting the urge to go in and check on Finn. He was a complete fuck and she was beginning to hate him in full force again, but he was drunk and angry and shouldn’t be left alone.

“No, I’ll be fine. Thanks,” she said distractedly. She sighed a minute. “My stuff is mostly in there but I think I still have a few things at my apartment.”

“Okay,” he said, standing there awkwardly. “I guess I’ll...go.” He looked her over again, scanning for any cuts or bruises or anything that hadn’t been there before.

Rey nodded and finally broke herself from her reverie. She turned to grab her phone, ending her call with Kylo only to see a message from Jessika pop up. She groaned a bit. “Fuck,” she whispered softly, tapping back a quick reply.

“What is it?” he asked, taking a step after her. What was he doing here? She didn’t want him here. Her life was in shambles once again, and he was just intruding.

“Jess is taking off for the weekend. She and Kevin left just a bit ago,” she chewed her lip, hugging her coat to her. “My apartment will be empty.” She threw a nervous glance back at the bedroom door. She hadn’t _thought_ Finn would get violent, and maybe it was just the alcohol, but she couldn’t suppress her shiver of fear to remember the rage on his face and the holler in his voice. He’d kicked the ottoman so hard, and all of those unfortunate cups...she hated the thought of being alone tonight.

Shrugging slightly, he said, “My offer still stands. It’s up to you. I don't want to make things worse. Whatever you think would be best.” He wanted to hold her, to soothe her and tell her that everything would be all right, that Finn wasn't usually like this. When in actuality, Kylo knew that to be false.

Rey looked up at Kylo, weighing her options all over again. She could go home and be alone and probably too nervous to sleep. She could call someone, Rose maybe? But they weren't quite _there_ yet in their friendship, and she didn't need Rose to know all the sordid details of her life. Poe was also out, as that probably would enrage Finn an equal amount should he find out, plus she didn't feel as safe with him.

“If...if you don't mind?” Rey asked. “I think you’re my safest bet.”

He looked around the apartment again, unsure of what exactly he was looking for. It looked ordinary, the walls lightly lined with photos so as not to accrue too much damage whenever they moved out.

“All right, grab what you need and let's go,” he told her. He didn't want to be here another second longer, if he could help it. “Anything I can help you find?”

Rey asked him to wait a moment while she went and grabbed some toiletries. She moved around quietly, careful she did not to disturb Finn from whatever was happening in the bedroom. She heard something loud drop in the bedroom and she skittered away from it, practically attaching herself to Kylo’s side. She felt like a deer, her eyes wide and her heart racing as she started at the door and waited for Finn to do something else. When nothing further happened, she gave a small sigh of relief.

Even more carefully, she went and grabbed her charger from beside the couch and then scooped up her laptop. Tucking those and her toiletries into her messenger bag, she looked up at Kylo.

“Ready,” she said quietly. As she turned, she thought of one last thing. “Wait, hold on.” She held out her left hand and pulled off the ring, setting it on the corner of the kitchen table. She stepped back from it slowly, as if it would explode, and then looked at Kylo. “Okay. Let’s go.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weeeee, another chapter! Updates are probably going to be every other day from here on out, since we're catching up to ourselves and what we've written so far.

Kylo had been silent on the ride back to his house. He didn't lecture her or give any semblance of _I told you so_. He kept the radio quiet, providing just enough sound to keep things from being awkward, but quiet enough that he'd hear her if she spoke. Part of him hadn't wanted to be right, if he was honest with himself. He didn't want to see Rey go through this, didn't want her to have to see Finn this way. But apparently he'd always been like this--he’d just been good at hiding it.

He pulled into the driveway and went to help her carry her things, bringing them into the house and up the stairs to a room at the end of the hall, opposite from where Kylo’s own room was. He set her things gently on the bed, taking in the room again. The walls were a safe, neutral color, contrasted only by the darker carpet and the even darker bedding. The bed itself was made, though it was slightly mussed from Jax’s running and leaping escapades. “You have your own bathroom. It’s the door right next to this in the hall. I don't use it, so don't worry about me walking on on you or anything.”

“Can I...borrow something to wear? I can't sleep in this,” Rey asked, plucking at the hem of her dress. She didn't want to risk stretching the fabric out by rolling around in her sleep but she didn't have any clothes lying around the apartment to grab.

He blinked at her for a second, registering that she was wanting to wear something of his. It made him feel a bit warm and fuzzy until he stamped that feeling down. She wasn't asking because she wanted to--only because she had to. “Yeah, hold on,” he said, disappearing from the room. He went to his own and rummaged around for a T-shirt to give her. It was an old band shirt from back in the day.

He knocked on her door before he entered again, handing the shirt over. “I don't really have anything smaller for you, unfortunately.”

Rey smiled gratefully at him, taking the soft and faded black shirt from him. “Thanks. Give me just a minute.”

The part of her that was comfortable with him and trusted him almost left the door open. And then she remembered that that would be insane. She shut it softly and peeled off her dress, lying it gently across the top of the dresser. She contemplated keeping her bra on, but she figured Kylo could handle the soft outlines of female anatomy if it meant she didn't have to suffer through an underwire. Underwear would stay, of course.

The t-shirt was large and long on her body, coming down to brush at the tops of her thighs. It could pass as a nightgown, almost. She brushed her hair out and washed her face. Just as she was about to brush her teeth, something occurred to her.  

“Hey, Kylo?” She asked, opening the door and stepping out into the hall.

Poking his head out of his own room and into the hall, he froze, sweeping his eyes over her. God, she had the best legs. Forcing himself to look at her face instead, he raised an eyebrow, “Yeah?”

She blushed a moment, ducking her head down as she said, “I’m...I’m still hungry.”

He had something she could eat right here. Shaking that thought from his head, thoroughly entranced by the sight of her in just his shirt, he nodded, feeling a flush creep over his face. “Yeah, okay. I can heat up leftovers or just make you something else. Whatever you want. And feel free to raid the kitchen for anything, too.”

“Thank you, I’d appreciate that,” Rey said with a smile. “I guess all that stress and anxiety ate away at what we had before,” she reasoned as she followed him back downstairs.

He was doing his best to keep his eyes on her face and maintain the respectable distance and not touch her. Maybe this was going to be a lot harder than he thought. That wasn't the only thing that was hard. He tried to subtly adjust his pants to relieve some tension, keeping his body facing away from her. Women were so lucky when it came to arousal--their bodies didn't scream to the world _I’m here, I'm ready, look at me!_

“Uh,” he lost his train of thought as even more images bombarded his brain, scenarios where she asked him to make her feel better filling his head. “Uh, what do you want? To eat?”

“Do you happen to have ice cream? And maybe chocolate syrup? Hell, I’d even settle for just whipped cream. I need something sweet,” Rey said, sighing as she leaned across his counter. Nevermind the fact her movements caused the shirt to ride up more. She felt exhausted.

“Ice cream...yeah,” he said, checking the freezer. He pulled out two different flavors and let her pick one before tossing the reject back into the freezer. Grabbing a bowl from the highest part of the cabinet like earlier, he smirked at her and then stopped, staring at the line of thigh and the hint of buttcheek that was poking out underneath the hem of the shirt. “Do you want me to try and find some pants or something for you?” he choked out, turning away as he gestured vaguely to her rear end.

“Huh? Oh!” she stood up and smoothed the shirt back down. “I'm sorry. I can...if it's disturbing you.”  

“It is,” he said, his back to her. “Just...not in a bad way.” Fuck, maybe this had been a bad idea. He should have just gotten her a hotel or something. But then she'd be alone and she still had her phone on her, which meant that Finn could still track her and corner her alone. It was amazing how much better he was able to think when he wasn't imagining fucking her again. She was still off limits. “Maybe just like, wrap a blanket or something around yourself…”

Rey grabbed the bowl of ice cream and moved into the living room, folding herself onto his couch before pulling a classy looking crocheted throw off the back of it and around her hips. She wondered if he had bought it or someone made it for him. Looking around his house, she realized he had very few personal details, the whole look entirely sterile and utilitarian. But he had to have friends, family? Wait, hadn't she once almost talked to…

“So your dad works at the university?” Rey asked as he also came into the living room. She felt stupid for not thinking of it before, but she had been too busy rushing out of an awkward situation to really think.

Setting a bottle of chocolate syrup next to her, he sat on the opposite edge of the couch, pulling one leg up to settle his ankle across his thigh. “Yeah, my dad is Doctor Han Solo. He’s an archaeology professor. We’re not...really on speaking terms.” He popped a spoonful of his own ice cream into his mouth, looking down at it very intently.

Rey drizzled the syrup onto her ice cream, nearly coating it all. Some dribbled down her hand and she had to lick it up, closing her eyes and humming softly at the taste. Sugar made everything better.

“I’m sorry to hear that. What about your mum?” Why did the last name “Solo" sound so familiar? And why wasn’t it his?

He shrugged, mumbling, “Same thing. She works as the Political Science department head. Don't really talk, if I can help it. They weren't the best of parents. Fantastic professors, but that's pretty much it.”

Glancing over at her, he scanned her face. She looked tired, both mentally and physically.

“Your mother is...she’s Dr. Organa-Solo?” She gasped, finally putting together where she recognized the name. “That’s insane. They’re _ridiculously_ well-respected. I heard they are constantly getting offers to go to Ivy League schools instead.”

“They’d never take them,” he said after another mouthful, shifting uncomfortably. “Leia basically made this university what it is, and it’s respectable enough. It may not be Ivy League, but it’s one of the top schools in the country. Everyone knows it.” Setting his empty bowl aside, he placed his hands in his lap, his cock blessedly relaxed again.

“I like it here enough,” Rey teased. She then grimaced down at the last few bites in her bowl, the cold treat melting into the syrup. “I have to admit...I came here to follow Finn. It was a happy coincidence that Jess was already planning on going here. I know it's stupid to make such an important decision based on a boy, but I loved him.”

Loved. She’d said loved. It was the first time she dared to use the past tense. Seeing the way Finn had acted tonight had scared her and jolted her into a realization that maybe he wasn't what was best for her anymore. And while there was an ache in her heart, it wasn't as acute as it was before. This one spoke of...relief?

“Love will make you do stupid things,” he nodded. “I've seen it often enough. It rarely works out, too.” He shifted so that he was facing her, resting his arm along the back of the couch, cradling his face in his hand. “You didn't do anything wrong. You know that, right?”

Rey sighed and leaned forward to rest her bowl on the coffee table, stomach too sour to continue. Damn, she’d wanted that. She curled back towards the couch, resting her head against the back of the couch as she looked up at him. “I guess. I don't know. Is anyone ever really blameless?”

She bit her lip, looking apologetic as she said, “He said he read everything. And he...he _heard_ everything.”

“Yeah, I'm not too happy with that, but it doesn't surprise me. At least we gave him a good show.” He smiled faintly, turning serious again. “Do you regret it?” he asked softly, lowering his attention down to a thread that was sticking up from a cushion. He picked at it nervously, wondering if maybe he'd read too far into their...whatever they were.

“No,” she replied quietly. Swallowing, she pulled herself a bit closer to him. She reached out, slowly, and gently trailed her fingertips across the top of his hand. “Do you?”

Watching her fingers move along his skin, he suppressed a shudder, then twisted his hand to gently stroke his fingertips against hers. “No, I don't. Things may be...unconventional and technically wrong, given my chosen profession, but I don't regret it.” Her skin against his was like fire, igniting his senses. He could suddenly smell her, a mix of her and him, with the shirt she was wearing. It was heady, filling him with a sudden need.

He traced the contours of her face with his gaze, drinking in every detail. She had freckles that dusted her nose and cheeks--how had he not noticed those before? They were endearing, and they gave her character. Her eyes were a little brighter, just a little bit less sad looking, and--what was that emotion swimming through them? He couldn't be sure.

Dropping his own eyes lower, he roamed over the line of her nose, so cute, and when she laughed, it scrunched up in the most adorable way.

Finally reaching her lips, so plush and smooth, he lingered, and wet his own, the tip of his tongue flicking out just a little. He was overwhelmed with desire, and not to just have sex with her. He wanted to taste her, wanted to learn everything about her mouth and the way it moved. “I want to kiss you,” he breathed quietly, still transfixed on her mouth.

Rey moved closer still, coming up to her knees. The blanket pooled down at her knees and she was almost, almost as tall as he was like this. She looked at his eyes, the darkness in there, the shimmer of desire and something deeper. She’d watched as his tongue traced his lip and she did nothing to suppress the shiver that passed through her, remembering how that tongue felt along her lips, how it had felt on her body, _inside_ her body.

“So do I,” she admitted, voice a husky whisper.

Leaning in a little more until her face filled his vision, he dragged his eyes up to meet hers, searching them, memorizing the way the gold flecks in them complemented the green hues so nicely. Her pupils were dilated, the only hint that maybe she wanted this as badly as he did. “May I?” he asked, close enough for their breaths to ghost over one another.

She nodded, lips parted slightly. Her heart was pounding. Was this wrong? Should they wait? But as she leaned forward and brushed her bottom lip against his top, as she felt the electricity jump between them, her heart felt soothed. There was nothing wrong with this.

Lifting his hands to cup both sides of her face, he pressed his mouth back to hers, going slow and deep. There was no hurry--they had all night, and if he could just spend the next hour or so kissing her like this, he would be absolutely thrilled. Making a small sound in the back of his throat, he pulled her closer until she was straddling him, pulling her down to meet him as he leaned back against the couch cushions.

He tasted her like he wanted, like there was nothing wrong in this act. She wasn't his student, and they weren't going to get caught doing something inappropriate in the comfort of his own home. He explored every crevice, every hidden secret of her mouth, thorough and precise, even as his heart raced, begging him to move faster. But he wouldn't. He was going to savor every second of this. They were in no rush.

She made a low sound at the back of her throat as she settled onto his lap, doing her best to stay away from where he was growing hard beneath his pants. There was no need to go fast, she reasoned, even as her own body attempted to clench around nothing. If he could be patient and slow, if he could worship her and lavish attention on to her, she could do the same for him. She broke away from him, trailing her lips down his jaw, moving to his ear to give a gentle tug and lick. She wanted to taste every part of him, to learn his body in a way she had never done before. But mostly, she wanted to learn every sound he could make, every sound she could _make_ him make. She trailed her tongue up the shell of his ear, going back down it to once more capture his lobe and give it a suck.

His hands fell from her face down to her waist, sliding the fabric of the shirt up so that he could knead her bare skin, right at the band of her panties. He let his head fall to the side, eyes half-lidded as he groaned quietly under her attentions. His chest was rising and falling quickly, moving faster as her hair fell around her face and tickled against his neck. She was so warm against him and so soft under his fingers, and he felt like he was burning up in only the best way.

Turning his head back, he lifted her mouth back to his, unable to stand the separation any longer. He kissed her hungrily, devouring her with the slow movements of his lips against hers, his tongue tracing her bottom one before he sucked it into his mouth, teeth biting down gently to keep her there, right where he needed her.

She whimpered softly at the slight sting, some distant part of her brain hoping it would bruise and swell, hoping she would carry the brand of this moment on with her. She pressed up a bit, hovering her hips above his as she attempted to regain the upper hand. His hands, so hot and warm and huge, were only her skin and she felt alive everywhere he touched. Needing to level the playing field, she brought her hands to his stomach, bunching the fabric of his shirt in his hand to slide it up, up, up, until they had to break away so she could pulling it over his head and toss it to the side. Her body was screaming to feel him on her in any way again and, starting to feel overly eager, she finally dropped her hips and ground herself over him.

“Oh fuck,” she gasped, targeting the tip of him right at her swollen clit, even through their clothing.  

His breathing stuttered, the air just not willing to come as she rocked her hips against him. He found his own hands digging into her waist, pulling her down further, and he lifted his own hips slightly in response, pressing up harder into her as he helped her move. “We don't--we don't have to--” he tried to say, cutting off into a low moan, even as his body betrayed him. She was wet, so wet and it had soaked through the fabric of both their clothing, and he could _feel_ how warm and willing her body was against his.

“I want to. I want you.” She wrapped her hand around the back of his head, fingers threaded through his thick locks as she held him gently in place. “I choose _you_ , Kylo.”

Her words rang through his mind like a drum, echoing, repeating themselves as he tried to wrap his thoughts around them. He looked up into her eyes, his hands on her hips stilling, preventing her from moving, as he asked, “Do you mean that?”

“Yes, I do. I’m sorry for everything, I’m sorry for not making it sooner. When I found out I was pregnant I was confused, and then I lost the baby, I felt...obligated to stay with Finn. He was giving up everything for me and he was finally giving me what I wanted, what I used to want, and I couldn’t admit that my heart had moved passed him. And after tonight, after what happened back there, I could never go back. Like that, at least. He needs help and I want to make sure he gets it, if you’re comfortable with that, of course, but...oh Kylo, I love you,” Rey confessed in earnest. This was it, this was what had been weighing heavily on her mind for nearly the past month now. She could only hope everything that had happened, all of the recent and messy details of her life, had not scared him away.

Surging upwards to kiss her again, he said into her mouth, “I love you, too.” He felt light, airy, like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Pressing her down against him again, he shivered, aching to claim her as his. Not in the way that Finn had tried to, though. No, Rey was able to take care of herself, and he wouldn't be overbearing.

Pulling the shirt over her head, he tossed it aside and slid a hand up to cover her left breast with his right hand, massaging it as he urged her body down so that he could wrap his lips around the nipple on her other breast, tasting it, tasting _her,_  licking at the hardened bud, alternating between grazing his teeth against it and sucking, listening to the sounds she made.

She tugged his hand in her hand, a gentle hiss coming out of her mouth. God that felt good. She’d missed him so, so much. She arched her body into his mouth, her head rolling back over her shoulders as she surrendered herself to the feeling of his mouth on her. With her free hand she lightly scraped down his back, nails digging in only so slightly when he’d bite or suck just a little harder, although never enough to feel pain. This was the good kind of pain, the kind that made you whimper and moan and beg for more. She hadn’t even realized that she was softly whispering, begging him for more, falling so hard as she was into her lust and love for him.

He loved the feeling of her nails against his back, dragging marks into his skin that he wanted to stay there forever. Lifting his mouth from her skin, he reached his fingers up, gently hooking one into her mouth, tugging to turn her face back down to him. “Can I take you to bed?” he murmured, his voice deep and husky, barely containing his emotional desire for her.

“If you don’t I may die,” she replied in complete sincerity. Her body was on fire and the ache between her thighs was unbearable. And she loved him. And he loved her. What could be more natural?

He wrapped her legs around him securely before he stood up easily, carrying her like she was nothing. He kissed her all the way up the stairs, stumbling only slightly in his distraction, but he held her fast. He'd never let her fall. Pushing through the door of his room, he crossed it easily, laying her down across the blankets, hovering over her. He trailed his hands down the sides of her body as he lifted himself up, keeping her legs around him as he moved his fingers to his pants, unbuttoning them and sliding the zipper down, giving her an intense stare as he pushed them down, stepping out and kicking them away. “Don't die on me, Kitten. We have a full night ahead.”

Sure, he had class to teach in the morning, but thank god for coffee.

“Something else,” she said softly. She hated to do this, but she couldn’t banish Finn’s jeering face from her mind. Damn him for ruining things. “Please, call me something else.”

Tilting his head at her, he thought for a moment, trying to come up with something better. Leaning down, he kissed softly along her collar bone, up the line of her neck to whisper against her ear, “How about sweetheart?” It fit, especially since they'd confessed their feelings.

She hummed her approval, arching her body up to get closer to him. The term was loving and endearing, which meant that he felt that way about her. It was another affirmation of their feelings and she rejoiced in it. “I missed you so much. I missed this. I missed how you made me feel. I wish we wouldn’t have lost any time.”

Smiling, he nipped at her ear lobe, sliding her panties off before positioning himself between her thighs. “We have all the time in the world now,” he reassured her tenderly, before another thought crossed his mind. “Condom or no?”

“Kylo, I’m not...I’m not _on_ anything right now,” she groaned to confess. “But I want to feel you, all of you.”

“I can pull out,” he hummed, nuzzling into her neck, sucking on her pulse point. There wouldn’t be enough concealer in the world to hide the mark he'd made on her golden skin. “Just tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it.”

“Make love to me, Kylo. I want to feel you, and _just_ you, inside of me,” Rey whispered.

“All right,” he murmured, pulling his head back to look down the line of their bodies, one hand guiding himself in. He pressed against her, sliding through her folds until he found her entrance, hot and slick. He pushed in slowly, feeling her stretch around him, accommodating his length and girth.

Bringing his eyes up to hers as he hilted himself fully, he gave a shaky smile, bending down again to claim her mouth in a tender kiss as he began to move, his strokes slow and deep, filling her up entirely until there was nowhere else for him to go. “Wrap your arms around me, sweetheart,” he encouraged into her mouth.

Rey nodded shakily and complied, wrapping her arms around his strong shoulders. She purred to feel his muscles beneath her hands, evidence of his strength and power. She wondered how he got this way, what type of insane P90X workouts he did to get his body looking this heavenly.

Finding a rhythm, one that had her crying out softly every time he pushed back in, he dropped his head down to rest his forehead against her shoulder, eyes shut as he let his body take over, learning from her and her cues, shifting his hips to get an angle that had her making more noises for him. “I love you,” he whispered in between thrusts, his pace coming just a little faster, a little harder, but this was not just lust-filled fucking. He could go slow, he could show her how he felt with his body against hers, his cock buried deep inside her. He repeated the words over and over again, panting against her flesh.

Her let out time whimpers and cries, little pants of “oh” leaving her mouth every few thrusts. She wanted to repeat his words back at him, she wanted to cry out her same love for him, but she felt dizzy and floaty and wonderful, too gone from this earth to process any real words. But she loved him. She did. And she chose him. And whatever would happen tomorrow and any day after she, she would know that she had chosen him and she would stand by his side no matter what. She’d graduate in a year and then nothing could get between them, not Finn, not the school, nothing. God, she hoped he’d love her that long. But right now, with his forehead on her shoulder, his breathy pants causing her nipple to tighten and strain, and his glorious cock pounding so wonderfully into her pliant and accepting body, she couldn’t conceive of a world where they weren’t together.

“I’m going to--to!” she gasped as he pressed against her exactly right. It felt incredible, her every nerve rerouted to focus on what was happening inside of her body. “Oh god, Kylo,I’m going to--!!”

Grunting, he pumped his hips against hers, directly against that one spot that felt just as good to him as it did to her. “That's it, sweetheart,” he whispered roughly, feeling her body start to tighten around him. “Come with me, let me hear you.” He was so close, but he needed her to be taken care of first.

Rey focused all of her thoughts on him, on clenching her muscles around him and feeling them finally, _finally_ release. She shuddered as she clenched him inside of her before the dam broke, a desperate sounding shout pouring from her lips as her vision went first white and then completely black.

Groaning as she came around him, he just managed to pull away from her in time for him to come, splattering her stomach with his spend, one hand wrapped around himself to pump out anything that remained, trying to coat as much of her as possible. Breathing erratically, he whispered her name as he finished, the last spurt making itself at home between her breasts.

He rolled off of her and collapsed down onto the bed beside her, arm wrapped around her torso, uncaring that he was getting his own come all over his arm. He buried his face against her shoulder, holding her tightly against him, eyes squeezed tightly shut as his mind struggled to catch up with his body. He'd felt suspended in time, lost in their moment, and now reality was starting to set back in, doubt stroking seductively at his consciousness. What if she'd only said those things to have him inside her again? What if she hadn't meant them? What if...what if he'd just been used as a rebound again? He didn't know if his heart could take it.

“I love you, Kylo,” she whispered as she felt her consciousness slip back into place. She was still panting heavily and the logical side of her was demanding that she get up and take a shower. She felt hot and sticky in more ways than just one, and every part of her body felt exhausted. But feeling the heft of his arm around her torso felt reassuring and grounding, and she turned to press her lips to his sweaty head. “I love you so much.”

He muffled out a reply against her shoulder, something along the lines of _I love you too, Rey,_ too content to move just yet. He felt better about it, now that she'd repeated the words now that the sex was over. He held her against him until he felt his come start to dry, becoming tacky and making his arm stick slightly to her stomach as he removed it. “I suppose you'll want to go shower,” he said, pressing a kiss to her neck before sitting up, planting his feet on the floor.

Rey sat up and gave a little stretch, careful not to dislodge too much of his drying spend. She softly padded over to where she assumed his bathroom was, pausing only as she saw something placed neatly by his closet door.

“Hey! My booties!” Rey gasped excitedly.

Laughing softly, he dipped his head, watching the curve of her back. “Yeah, I guess you were in a rush to leave me that night. Found it under my bed. I've been meaning to give it back to you, but it never quite seemed like a good time.” Standing, he followed after her, going into the bathroom and flicking on the light. He went over to the shower and turned the water on, adjusting the heads so they were just separate enough for two people, the one meant for him slightly colder than the one for her.

“Hey, lay off. I was embarrassed. I had no idea how any of that stuff worked,” Rey pouted. She then smirked at him. “Are you just presuming you can join me?”

Turning to look at her, it took him a second to realize she was joking. “Seeing as how you're covered in _my_ come, I think I can at least help get it off. And this is my shower, _thank you._ I don't share it with just anyone.” He narrowed his eyes playfully at her and crossed his arms over his chest, which may have been a bit more intimidating if he hadn't been naked from the waist down and his arm wasn't crusty.

Rey laughed at that and rolled her eyes. “Yes, I do suppose that earns you _some_ privileges.”

She stepped forward into the shower, sighing happily as the spray hit her skin. It felt like it was washing away the whole of her bad day...not that that was possible. No, she remembered darkly, no, she would have to go and face her demons tomorrow. She’d have to break things off with Finn, officially and finally,  before she could continue a life with Kylo.

She decided to save all such heavy subjects until after she’d thoroughly washed. No sense in either of them stressing out now.

Climbing in behind her, he quickly washed his body off, his thoughts churning. Would Rey be willing to wait? With her going to classes, they'd have to sneak around until she graduated. Was she aware of that? And then they still had Finn go be concerned about, too. He and Rey _technically_ weren't broken up yet.

He chewed at his lip as he washed his hair, pushing it back out of his face after she'd rinsed it. Rey was in a similar state as him and he took the opportunity to flick open a bottle of body wash, squirting some out into his hand. He stepped up behind her, almost pressing the line of his front to her back. Reaching around, he dragged his soapy hand up her stomach to her chest, his free hand settled against her hips, pulling her back into him.

And while the prospect of shower sex seemed like a fun idea, both of them were worn out, and he wanted nothing more than to simply clean her, dry her off, and take her back to bed for some sleep. If...if she even wanted to sleep with him. She might still want that guest room, which would've disappointed him, but at the same time, he so didn't want to overwhelm her.

She leaned gratefully into his chest, allowing him to move her however necessary so she could get clean. He was so warm and solid behind her, perfectly trustworthy. He washed her tenderly but medically, not trying to seduce her with his movements, which she appreciated. She still wasn't sure how _anyone_ ever had shower sex and she was too tired to figure it out now.

“Did you want me to still sleep in the guest room?” she asked softly as he rinsed her one final time.

Pausing his hands on her body as he helped rinse her, he leaned down and kissed her wet head. “No,” he said. “That's the last thing I want, now.” When both of them were about as clean as they were going to get, he turned the water off and reached outside the shower to get her a towel, wrapping it around her with care, not wanting her to get sick from a chill. “Unless you want to. Otherwise, I’d planned on taking you back to bed and falling asleep with you.”

Rey shook her head softly, huddling into the dry warmth of the towel. “No, no. I want to sleep with you. I’ve wanted to since the first night.”

Feeling happy and reassured in his intentions, she grabbed his hand and led him back into his room. She laid down on the bed and pulled him down after her, immediately turning on her side so she could curl into him, so he could curl around her. She could feel the heat of his chest, a combination of both his natural body heat and the shower, pressed against her back. She knew it was illogical to try to sleep in a towel, it would eventually come undone and she’d get tangled up, but she didn’t care. Instead, she sighed into his embrace and fell easily, peacefully to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

When Kylo woke up first to the buzzing of his alarm, his initial thought was about how rested he actually felt. Rey was wrapped around him, practically draped over him, her leg thrown over his, her arm snug across his chest, fingers clutching the hair at the back of his head.

He craned his neck down to kiss her forehead, before he gently pried himself away from her. “I have to go to work, sweetheart,” he murmured against her ear, watching with amusement as she rolled herself into the space he'd occupied all night and stole the leftover warmth. Her eyes were fluttering slightly like she couldn't decide if she wanted to wake up or not yet, and he reached out to stroke some of her wild bedhead hair away from her face. “You can stay here for as long as you want, or you can get up.”

Rey groaned and gave a powerful stretch, splaying out on his mattress. It always felt good to lie naked in bed, there was a certain warmth and fuzziness to that, and she snuggled into the covers. But then she remembered the predicament she was in and she frowned.

“I’ll need to go back to...to Finn’s,” she said quietly.

He'd almost forgotten that she wasn't quite through with Finn yet. “All right,” he nodded, already moving through the bedroom to gather up his clothes for the day. “Can you...can you take someone with you, at least? You mentioned a Rose?”

“No, I can't involve anyone else in this mess.” She chewed her lip for a moment, thinking about what day and time it was. “I suppose I could call Poe. He doesn't have a class for a while today.”

He frowned over at her, buttoning his navy blue shirt up. “Is that a good idea? I know he's really the only other option, but after what happened last time he was there...it’s your decision. I'm not going to tell you what to do.” He pulled his dress slacks on, sliding a shiny dark leather belt through the loops, fastening it at the front.

Rey shrugged, sitting up. “Well, it's either Poe or alone, so I’ll take my chances with Poe.” She wondered where her phone was, wondered where her clothes had been strewn about _this_ time. At least she knew her dress and bra were safe in the guestroom, her underwear was her only mystery.

Giving one last stretch of her arms, sighing at how good it felt between her shoulders, she prepared to get up.

“I honestly haven't slept that good in a while, you know. You should sell your services,” Rey teased. She stood up and made her way into the guest room, gathering her things from there. Jess wouldn't be happy about literally any of this, but at least Rey had an alternate home to go to.

Smiling after her as she left, he shook his head. He was never in this good of a mood in the mornings, especially not without coffee. He made his way down the stairs while she got dressed, getting the caffeine in question started. He pulled out a travel mug from one of the cabinets, the very one he'd spilled coffee on her with during their first meeting.

When she finally came down the stairs, he looked her over, giving a hum of approval at her clothing. Honestly, she looked good in everything. “The only one I'm interested in selling my services to is you,” he commented. “You're welcome over anytime. I wouldn't mind some more of that kind of sleep.”

“Kylo...what are we going to do? About us, I mean. I can take a different English credit, I don't have to be your student, but I will still be _a_ student for the next year. And apparently, it’s still frowned upon, up to the point of you losing your job if found out. But...but I don't want to not be with you. I really do love you and I want to spend as much time with you as possible, I want to learn as much about you as possible. But if you’d rather we took the year off, I can...I can handle that,” Rey said. _Just don't fall out of love with me in the meantime_ , she silently added.

Crossing the kitchen to stand in front of her, he looked down at her, his eyes radiating adoration and sincerity when he said, “It’ll be hard, but I think we can make this work. You don't have to be my student, but you still could be. We just...we can't do anything at school. As much as I would love to parade you around and show the world how much affection I have for you, we can't until you graduate.” He stroked his thumb across her cheek gently. “We would have to keep most of our...meetings for the weekends and evenings. Could you do that? I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to hide you, but that is exactly what I'd have to do. We wouldn't be able to go out in public places. I wouldn't be able to court you properly, and take you on dates. Not in this city, at least. But all that aside, I can work through it if it means one day we won't have to keep our relationship to the shadows. Can you?”

“You still want me as a student?” Rey asked, sidling up closer to him. “You think you can handle me sitting in your class, front and center, three days a week for an entire semester without being able to touch me? I've seduced you once before, Professor Ren, what makes you think I won't do it again?”

“Oh, you've already thoroughly bewitched me, Miss Niima,” he smirked, eyes glinting deviously, a shiver rolling through him as she called him by his title. “I could ask you the same thing, though. How will you be able to sit there, knowing that you're the only person in the room that knows what I look like without clothing on?” He stepped even closer to her, tipping her head up to kiss her deeply before pulling away with a low whisper, “How I feel inside you?”

She moaned softly, heat shooting straight through to her core.

“How soon do you have to go to class?” She purred softly, one hand twined in his hair as the other trailed along his belt.

“That depends.” He leaned down to growl against her ear, “How fast do you think you can come for me?”

She turned around and lifted the hem of her skirt, exposing her completely bare arse. She knew it was a good idea to not put her underwear on just yet.

“Why don’t you bend me over this counter and find out?” Rey said lowly, reaching up behind her to pull Kylo’s head down, nipping lightly at his jaw.

“Dangerous ground,” he said darkly, sliding his hands over the curves of her rear, palming tightly. “I think you like being a little tease.” He removed his hands to undo the belt and front of his pants, pushing them down around his thighs. Placing one hand on her back, he pushed her down against the nearest counter, taking up his spot behind her. “Are you wet for me?” He inquired, delving his fingers down between her legs to find out.

“Could be. Hard not to when I know you’re nearby,” Rey replied. She tried to sound nonchalant, but then he entered her with one thick finger and she let out a tiny whine. “Hurry now, Kylo. You can’t be late to class. What would happen to me if you spilled your coffee on a _different_ girl?”

He smirked lightly as he withdrew his fingers and brought them up to his mouth for a taste. “Well, I suppose I'd have to come find you to make up for it, wouldn't I?” Pressing the tip of his cock against her, he leaned over her back and nibbled at her ear, pushing inside of her with one firm thrust. His breath caught and he nuzzled into the hair behind her ear for a moment as he breathed, “So tight and wet. You're positively dripping, sweetheart.”

“Fuck. Me,” she gasped in response, arching her back to find the right angle. She pushed up onto her toes to help make up for their lack of height, wanting to help along his knees, and gave a thrust of her own.

Grabbing her hips, his fingers digging in to find purchase, he held her still as he pulled back, leaving just a little of him inside until she was mostly empty. “Yes, ma’am,” he said, jerking her back against him at the same time he rammed into her, gasping at the feeling of her welcoming body. He removed one hand to slide into her hair, yanking it back as he fucked into her. He got such a pretty view of her face this way, and he loved seeing her eyes widen and flutter as he filled her.

“Harder, baby. Fuck me harder. Make me come on your fucking cock so hard that you smell like me all day. Let all those fucking girls in your classes know you’re _mine,_ ” she said fiercely, shivering as he tugged her hair harder.  “Send me back to Finn and _show him_ who I chose.”

That was the only thing he needed to hear to pound into her earnestly, his hips snapping against her ass in such a delightful way that had it rippling with every impact. He was brutal, punishing, shoving himself to the hilt and then asking her to take more, positioning her just so to maximize her pleasure. “You're going to come for me, and I'm going to come inside you...and then, you're going to leave it there as you go back to his place, feeling _my_ come inside your cunt. Do you understand, Rey?” he growled roughly against the back of her neck, pressing a tender kiss to the area to take the sting from his words.

“Yes. Yes!” she keened, lying the entirety of her upper body on the counter as she reached underneath herself for more stimulation. She wished they had time for more than just a quick shag in kitchen, but fuck if it wasn't exactly what she needed. She could hardly toy with her clit due to his brutal pace, but it was enough to feel it slide against her fingers, which she tried so hard to press down, that it didn't take her long until she was coming around him, her cries of ecstasy echoing in the once-spotless kitchen.

He listened to her intently, memorizing the sound of her voice bouncing across the walls, and he matched them with a few of his own as he gave her a handful more ruthless pumps, riding her through her orgasm before he was coming, as well, letting out a primal sound between a snarl and a shout as he dumped himself into her just like he'd promised. “FUCK!” he moaned, hips still rocking with the leftover momentum he'd had. Finally halting, he pressed his lips to her neck again, sucking a fresh mark into her skin.

 _“Now,”_ he panted, thoroughly spent. “Now you can go.” He lowered the hem of her dress back over her, stepping away to find some paper towels to clean up with.

Rey panted, her sweaty forehead making a mark on his granite counters. “Well, there’s your answer, Professor. Research well done.” She spared him a tired smile over her shoulder as he cleaned up the inside of her legs. She was exhausted, how was he still moving around? In more clothing than her, no less.

Leaning against the counter beside her when he was done, he threw the paper towel wads into the trash can, making it easily. He bent down a bit more so that he could see her face, a secretive smile playing at his lips. “I don't think my research is anywhere near done yet. I have so many sources to cite, so many leads unfollowed.” Kissing her temple, he rested his cheek atop her head for a long moment before his eyes caught sight of the time. “Damn it. I really do have to go now, though. I'll even do my absolute best not to spill my coffee,” he said, grabbing his travel mug.

“I already texted Poe. He should be here soon,” Rey said. Poe hadn't even questioned the address, or her intention. He simply said he would be there ASAP. She had warned him to expect the worst, at the least.

Grabbing his car keys and his bag, he stopped to give her a soft, loving kiss. “Just be careful, all right? And text me when you can. Give Dameron my thanks for doing this.” Nearly bolting out the door, he rushed to the university, wondering if he was even in the right mindset to teach a class of twenty-something frat boys about poetry.

_____________

“So. Solo again?” Poe asked as Rey came out to his Jeep.

Rey’s brow furrowed for a moment, wondering how Poe already knew she was technically single. And then it occurred to her what he actually said. “So you knew that Kylo was Dr. Solo and Dr. Organa-Solo’s son?”

“Absolutely. Dr. Organa-Solo was my mentor in my earlier days, she’s an incredible woman. Ben’s her only son, you know,” Poe said. “Seatbelt,” he added.

“Ben?” Rey repeated, clicking the belt into place.

“Yeah. Benjamin Solo born, Kylo Ren changed. I guess he changed it when he was applying for the teaching position, not wanting his parents to be the reason he got the job. Of course, _he’s_ the reason they stay. No Ivy has the same pull at their ever-unreachable son,” Poe explained.

“What do you mean by that?” Rey asked as Poe began to drive.

“They had some huge falling out a few years ago, something to do with Leia’s brother and his relationship with Ben...I dunno, everyone said it was a mess. So they stay here because they hope that one day, he’ll go back to how it was and their lives will be better. Failing that, at least they get to witness him living his life, even from afar,” he said.

Rey frowned at that, storing that information away to bring up to Kylo--Ben?--later.

“So, Rey, why _were_ you at his place last night? And why am I picking you up and bringing you back to Finn? What’s going on? Why am I to expect the worst?” Poe asked.

Rey winced, forgetting for almost a moment about what was happening. She took a breath before launching into a brief explanation of what had happened the night before, about his avoidance and then admittance, about his sudden burst of violence and then his manipulative turn of expression. She even admitted to going back to Kylo’s and sleeping with him, to pouring her heart out to him and pledging it as his. When she was done, she took another deep breath and waited for a response.

“Um. Okay. Fuck. That’s a _lot_ to process. For starters, I think I need to check to make sure my phone isn’t bugged, although I’m pretty sure he was never as, um, obsessed with me as he was--is--you.” In an attempt to lighten the mood, he added, “Not going to lie, I'm a bit jealous your turned to Solo and not me, but hey, I get it. You and I were just having fun together, but you actually feel something for him. I'm happy about that, he needs someone good like you.”

She smiled a moment at that. “Sorry, Poe.”

He shrugged. “No hard feelings. Just know that if you two crazy kids don't work things out, I’d be happy to sleep with you again.” He shot her a wink to prove his teasing nature.

“I’ll keep your number,” she said, rolling her eyes but smirking still. Poe wasn't the worst person to be friends with. He _had_ been a pretty good partner, even if she felt nothing more for him than physical attraction and a mild amount of affection. Maybe if things had worked out differently with the pregnancy she could have eventually developed deeper feelings, but there was no sense in thinking of the what-ifs.

They pulled up to the apartment and Rey clenched her hands, trying to will more courage into her veins. Poe covered her hand with his, giving her a half-crooked smile. “I’ve got you.”

Rey nodded and they made their way inside the building. She decided to knock rather than just let herself in with her key. Without knowing Finn’s mood, she didn't want to invade his space unannounced.

It took a few moments for Finn to come to the door. His head was pounding, his mouth was dry, and he thought he was going to throw up. Seeing Rey standing there, _with_ Poe, Finn frowned, but otherwise said nothing. What had happened last night? Why was Rey with Poe? “Rey? What are you doing here? What's going on? Why is he with you?” He pointed a finger at the man in question, but Finn’s tone wasn't angry, just confused.

“I thought it might be a little necessary after last night,” Rey said, careful to keep her tone even and non confrontational. “Can we come in?”

“Yeah, sure,” he said, stepping aside from the door to let them in. He rubbed a hand over his eyes, dragging at his cheeks. “Do you want anything to drink? Water or anything?”

“Coffee would be more appropriate, since you broke all of the glasses,” Rey corrected. He looked so knackered and confused...wait…”Finn, sweetie, do you remember last night?”

“No, yeah, kind of?” He said, looking around the kitchen before turning to her with a frown. “What do you mean I broke all of the glasses?”

Rey grabbed Poe’s wrist, needing some sense of support as the wind was knocked out of her at that statement. Her eyes flew to the corner of the kitchen table where her engagement ring was sparkling in the morning sunlight. She was also very aware of the hickey on her neck, blooming where the skin met her shoulder. Shit. Shit. _Shit._

“Finn, we had a fight last night. You got...violent,” Rey whispered.

“I got _violent?_ _Shit,”_ he said with feeling, eyes wide as he took a step towards her. “Not at you, right? I mean, I'd never…” He saw the bruise on her neck and he paused. He'd never been into hickeys, and he knew for a fact that that one wasn't from him. “What's that?”

“How about we all sit down and talk about what happened,” Poe said, stepping a bit in front of Rey. He pinned Finn with a look that he usually reserved for his unrulier students, one that left no room for argument.

Finn shot a look at Poe, narrowing his eyes, but he nodded under the older man’s seriousness. “All right, let's go to the couch or something…” He moved past them to lead the way, rubbing the side of his head.

Plopping down heavily on the couch, he leaned against the back and waited for them to sit as well. “Okay, so...start from the beginning, okay? I just remember hanging out with Nine and then the night is kind of a blank after that.”

“I went to have dinner with Kylo. Do you remember that?” Rey asked. She needed to tread carefully, she knew that. She could feel Finn’s gaze hot on the hickey on her neck and she itched to cover it up.

“Yeah, I remember that. Spaghetti, right?” Why did that one detail stick out at him for some reason?

Rey nodded. “Yeah. Kylo made me spaghetti and then I came home. Do you remember what we...what we discussed? Do you remember why you kicked the ottoman and broke the cups?”

“Is that why my foot hurts?” He grumbled, reaching down to rub his toes. “Wait…” He was starting to get flashes of memory, remembering the way he'd yelled at Rey. And Kylo...Kylo had been there--here. “He was here. And you said I'd been stalking you, right? Then you left with him.”

Rey swallowed thickly, feeling her nerves begin to rise as Finn’s expression grew darker. “Yes. You accused me of...sleeping with him while we were together and then you admitted to tracking me with my phone.”

Sighing heavily, Finn leaned back against the couch again, covering his face with his hand. “Yeah, that's true. I'm not proud of it, but it's true. I just...I don't know what's wrong with me, Rey. I think I need some help.”

Rey leaned over Poe’s lap to gently grab Finn’s free hand. “Whatever you need, I’m here for you. _We_ are here for you. Poe and I and...and Kylo, we will support you through whatever type of help you want to get. We will make sure you can heal past whatever is going on so you can move on to positive, healthy relationships.”

Removing his hand from his face enough to look down at where she was squeezing his free one, Finn asked, “So...you're breaking up with me? I know what I've been doing isn’t healthy. I get that, but I mean...maybe after I get through whatever program I need to, maybe we could...try again? Third time’s the charm?” He looked up at her with hopeful eyes, but that look quickly faded when he saw the expression on her face. “Or maybe not…”

“Oh Finn,” Rey sighed quietly, a deep frown set on her face. “I _love_ you, and I always will. Forever. But I can’t...after last night...and the cheating…”

He leaned forward and held his head in his hands, groaning softly. “I’m sorry. I'm so sorry about all of this. I love you too. I do, but...I get it. I don't know why I did it. It just felt like I was looking out for you at the time, but I know there's more to it. Are you going to be okay? All alone?” He lifted his head to look at her neck again, biting his cheek as he added, “Or maybe you aren't alone.”

“I’ll be okay, Finn. And I meant that we will all be here for you. I want you to get the help you need so you can get back to being that sweet guy I fell in love with. He will make someone very happy one day,” Rey reassured him gently.

“The school’s psych department is actually pretty top notch. When I went through my depression after my mother died, they really helped me out. Like, _really_ helped me find my peace and mellow out my anger at the universe. I’d love to set up an appointment for you, Finn. Dr. Chirrut is incredible.” Poe paused a moment and laughed softly. “A little out there, but incredible. You’ll be in good hands with him. And Rey and I will be here for you through it all.”

Poe clapped Finn on the shoulder, smirking as he added, “After all, you graduate soon, and we should do some _actual_ work on your senior project. Gotta get you ready to go on those streets to protect people.”

“Yeah, that sounds good. I'll get his number from you and make an appointment,” Finn mumbled, sighing heavily as he wondered what had happened to him. When had things gone so badly in his life that he'd resorted to this? He wasn't a violent person--he’d never hurt a fly. He tried to justify it as concern for Rey’s safety before the baby, and then after...well, he'd been on edge and his anger about the situation had been eating away at him. “I really am sorry. And I love you both. I really do.”

How could he ever hope to get things back to where they'd been once upon a time? He couldn't be with Rey like that anymore, but maybe he could be there for her in other ways. As a good friend. Yeah, that sounded good.

“I know, sweetie. So do I,” Rey agreed softly.

She got up and made her way to the kitchen table, picking up the piece of jewelry. “I hope you can still get your money back.” She got on her knees and gently placed the ring in his hand, kissing his closed fist. She sighed softly at the warmth of his skin against her face, his familiar scent that always made her feel calm and happy. She really would always love him and she hoped he would get to a place of healing when they could actually be friends.

Smiling faintly, he opened his hand to look at the ring, a promise of what could've been. “I'm sorry I asked you to wear this last night. It was petty of me.” He kissed her forehead gently before standing up, looking a little lost as he glanced around the apartment. “And whenever you want to get your stuff, just let me know.”

“Won’t that be a fun healing project for us all! Finn, find us a box! Rey-bee and I will start gathering her things and we can start the healing process now!” Poe announced, standing up and clapping his hands merrily.

Rey rolled her eyes. He was such a teacher, it was ridiculous. But she knew he wasn't wrong.

And it really was cathartic to pack up her things with both Finn and Poe. They worked well together, Rey and Finn handing what we they found off to Poe, who packed like things together in their own boxes. They had shared a lot between them in their time as a throuple so she had no shame in handing off her sex toys and lingerie, although Poe’s little eyebrow wiggle at each did make her laugh. And Finn seemed a little lighter realizing that he wouldn’t have to stare at her things any longer than necessary. They even agreed to divvy up their pictures nicely, Rey keeping the ones in frames she had bought and Finn the same.

Until they came to one last picture.

Rey held the small frame carefully in her hands, tears beginning to cloud her vision as she looked at the black and white printout. She read every word, memorized the numbers from the reading. Her child had been healthy and alive then. There had been hope. She ached to keep it but it was something she shared with Finn. She looked up at him, needing him to be the one who make the decision.

Dropping his eyes down to the photo, Finn’s brow furrowed, the sharp stab of loss ripping through him again. Looking up into Rey’s eyes, he knew she was feeling the same thing. He gave her a tight smile and nodded at her, “You keep it. You’re still a mother...a great one at that. And one day, I hope you get the chance to become one again, and that everything works out that time.” Gently, he reached out and pushed the little frame into her chest.

She cradled the photo to her chest, letting a tear slip free as she smiled sadly at him. “You are a great father, too. I don’t think anyone could have loved our baby more.”

She remembered the Plan B that was stashed in her backpack, somewhere back at her apartment. She’d have to take it the moment she got back. Having another unexpected pregnancy probably wasn’t on Kylo’s mind when he’d fucked her so good against the counter this morning, and she wasn’t the type to manipulatively disdain from birth control just to fulfill that ache that was still present in her heart. She’d broach the topic of pregnancy and children with him one day, when they were stable in their relationship. For now, she’d have to make an appointment at a clinic to get some birth control. Being on Kylo’s insurance would help.

“Well,” Finn mumbled after a moment, wiping at his eyes. “I guess that's that. I'll help you load these into the car.” Leaning down, he hefted up a box and held it to his chest as he made his way out the door and down the stairs to Poe’s car. It felt like a chapter of his life was coming to an end, and it was time to look forward instead of back. It was time to get his life together and his act straight.

Rey followed after Poe, who had offered to carry the remaining box for her. She fingered Finn’s key on the ring, debating whether or not she should give it back. But it wasn’t like she was washing her hands of him completely, so she decided to hang on to it. Finn would need her friendship in the months to come, and she wanted to be able to give it to him whenever he needed it, no barrier in their way. She figured she could give him at least that much.

“I love you,” she whispered as she pulled Finn in for a hug. “I’m here for you. I mean that, okay?”

“I appreciate that. I don't deserve forgiveness from you, Rey,” he said, hugging her back just as tightly. “And I'll still see you around school and everything. So don't be a stranger.” He smiled down at her before letting her go and stepping back, one hand shoved deep into the pocket of his sweats, the other raising in a wave.

“See you around,” Rey agreed.

“I’ll be in touch soon, kid. I just gotta get this one home,” Poe said, giving Finn a hug and a firm peck on the cheek before getting into the Jeep.

Rey watched Finn in the side mirror, watching him get smaller and smaller as Poe drove away. She felt better. Her relationship with Finn was over, but it now had the potential to grow into something better, something healthier. And she could let her relationship with Kylo grow without fear now. She was excited to let him know how everything had gone. She was excited for them to finally be together.


	16. Chapter 16

 

The rest of the semester had gone by in something of a slow blur to Rey. No longer being a student meant that she spent endless hours waiting for Kylo or Jessika or Rose or even Poe and Finn to get out of classes. She spent the time reading her texts books, hoping to get as ahead as possible so that she could test out of a few courses next semester to hasten her graduation. The rest of the time she mostly spent going for runs, sometimes with Jess, and other times with Finn. Anything to keep her in top physical shape so that she did not divulge into a potato in her boredom.

Jessika had taken the news just about as well as Rey had expected, which meant that she’d threatened lots of violence upon Finn. It had taken a lot for Rey to convince her to calm down and trust that Finn was getting the help that he needed, that she wasn’t going to hold it against him too hard, that it was more important that everyone heal and move on. Jessika seemed less than pleased with this development, but she finally stopped threatening to cut him whenever she saw him, so Rey counted that as a win.

Jessika’s reaction to Rey’s relationship with Kylo, however, was less predictable.

“Sweetie, it’s dangerous,” Jess had said softly. They were sitting on the couch together, Jess finally calm enough after exploding over the Finn debacle. “If you guys get caught, it’s the end of his career and it also puts your future in jeopardy. They’ll scrutinize the entirety of your academic career to see if you’ve gotten any sort of special training, any extra credit will immediately set off an investigation. I know, I looked into it after Dr. Solo caught us.”

“But Jess, I honestly do love him.”

“Are you sure? I’m not trying to be mean or harsh or anything, but are you positive you actually love him? I don’t want you getting mixed up in another huge mess because he was your rebound before and your savior with the miscarriage. There are a lot of strong feelings attached to him and I understand how that can trick your brain into thinking it’s love--”

“What the hell? Since when you are the expert on love?” Rey cut off, a scowl on her face. She bit back the rest of her comment, about how Jessika’s relationship was Kevin barely qualified her for being an expert on a subject she barely understood up until a short while ago. She figured her comment sufficied.

“You don’t have to be an expert on love to know psychology, Rey,” Jessika said, eyes narrowing in defense. “Kylo was your go-to after a _lot_ of your most fucked up shit these last few months. It’s really easy to take all of those emotions you were feeling and the relief or whatever that he gave you and see it as some form of love.”

“Or maybe he _gave_ me that relief _because_ I love him,” Rey argued hotly.

“Hey, pump the breaks there, killer! I’m just trying to be a good friend who loves you and wants you to also move on to a happier and healthier relationship. I already apologized months ago for the whole “fuck someone else” mentality, I already _know_ that was a bad call. So I’m making up for it now by playing devil’s advocate and trying to make absolutely sure that you actually want this and him. You’re not going to have an easy road, babe. He’s a professor at your university and if someone finds out, you will both be so screwed. So I need to be sure that you are 100% head over heels for him before I do anything that tries to help this along, okay?” Jessika finished with a huff and a raised eyebrow.

Rey winced and relaxed a bit. “Okay. Fine. That’s fair. I will agree that he’s been my rebound for a lot of things that have happened to me lately, from both times with Finn as well as the baby. But Jess, I really and honestly know that I love him. He’s so kind to me, so patient and...well, loving. And that’s the best part! He loves me, too. He has had every reason to run screaming from me as far as possible, but he actually loves me back!”

Jessika gave a soft smile and moved so that she could envelope her friend into a hug. “Good, then. As long as he’s treating my bestie well in all aspects of the way he can, I give my wholehearted support and will offer you whatever assistance I possibly can so you two can survive this next year.”

Jessika was so glad that she had Kevin and wasn’t feeling an ounce of jealousy towards Rey. Sure, she’d loved fucking Kylo, but that’s all it ever was to her. With Kevin, she had a real, genuine connection where she talked to him and he listened to her. Like, really, truly listened to her and her opinions and gave her criticism and support when needed. All she ever got from Kylo was some great orgasms, a sore back, and some less-than-stellar grades. With Kevin, she had sex that was almost transcendent it was so emotionally attached. And she was glad that Rey was finally back to feeling that for someone, and that someone felt the same about her. She could handle the vague awkwardness of knowing she’d fucked her best friend’s boyfriend, as there was really none to be had. She and Kylo had been consenting adults and their tryst had ended. There was no reason to hold that against him, just like how she knew Rey wasn’t holding it against either of them. And hey, maybe they could all four go out on a date together. It would be nice to see Kylo making lovey-dovey eyes at Rey. It soothed Jessika’s wild and protective soul to think of someone looking at Rey the way Kevin looked at her. Rey deserved the best.

__________

It was awful, attending board meetings, especially when he was only half paying attention, nodding along here and there. Mostly, he just tapped his pen against his thigh with a fury, or stuck it between his lips as he listened to Hux give some speech about needing to make sure test scores fell within a certain range. It was the same thing every year, and every year, their university ways came out in the top five of schools across the nation. That was perfectly fine with Kylo, honestly. Not bad for a non Ivy-league school, if you asked him.

Also, thankfully, he was sitting in the back of the room, and he was fiddling around with his phone like he was taking notes in one of the apps. He hadn't been able to see Rey all week, and it was starting to bug him, a persistent itch between his shoulder blades that he couldn't scratch. It ate at him, making him groan internally. He'd just been so exhausted when he'd gotten home, or she'd been busy, or she'd been exhausted, or this was happening, or suddenly something would come up and prevent him from just _seeing_ her. She wasn't exactly allowed on campus while she wasn't a student, so he couldn't even catch a glimpse of her, either.

Kylo debated for just a moment longer before sending Rey a text, listening to Hux drone on in the background.

_ <Tonight?> _

_ <What did you have in mind, Professor?> _

_ <Did you need help grading something?> _

_ <You, me, somewhere, anywhere.> _

_ <I can't stand not seeing you.> _

_ <I'm yours wherever you want me.> _

_ <Say where and I am there.> _

_ <I want to go somewhere we don't have to pretend.> _

_ <Somewhere I can touch you in public.> _

_ <We can head to Coruscant? It’s 45 minutes away and the restaurant possibilities are endless.> _

_ <I like the idea of being in public with you. I would like the chance to show off my sexy boyfriend :) > _

Glancing up from his phone as Hux paused in his speech, Kylo raised an eyebrow when he saw the ginger staring at him, obviously affronted that he was not someone’s sole attention. Getting up from his seat, Kylo shot the other man a look before he slipped out of the room, tapping furiously on his phone as he made his way to his office.

_ <Do you want dinner? A movie? Something else?> _

_ <Anything. As long as it’s with you, I’m happy> _

_ < <3 > _

_ <I'll pick you up at six, then.> _

Feeling better now that they had a date somewhat planned, he was able to get some work done before he left the campus for the day. The end of the semester was rapidly approaching, and he was already starting to feel the stress and pressure. What better way to relax than to just get away from it all with someone he cared about?

_____________

Rey had resisted Jessika’s want to dress her for the date, tossing all of her tiny tops and tight skirts right back at her. Kylo already liked her enough, she didn't need to show a ton of skin to keep him with her.

Happy that it was finally warm enough, Rey dressed in a white sundress, a sweetheart neckline and cap sleeves, with a flowing skirt hovering just above her knees. She did a cognac braided belt with it and a pair of white canvas peep-toe espadrilles. She pulled her hair half-up, clipping it into place with a tiny white clip, and kept her makeup simple, just mascara and pink matte lips. Thinking of the approaching evening, she grabbed a pale blue cardigan and waited excitedly for Kylo to arrive.

Wearing casual clothing, just some jeans and a nice T-shirt, Kylo knocked on the door to Rey’s apartment, waiting awkwardly in the hallway for her to answer, keeping his head ducked low in case another student from school lived in the same apartment. He really didn't need someone recognizing him, just standing outside of another student’s door.

Running one hand anxiously through his hair, tousling it all the more, he chewed on his lip, thinking about the restaurant he'd planned on taking her to.

Rey jumped up immediately to answer the door, which drew a laugh from Jessika.

“Calm down, girl! He knows you’re in here. You don't have to jump the moment he calls,” Jessika chortled. She smirked from over her phone, muttering under her breath about making a man sweat a moment to keep the excitement alive.

Rey ignored her and threw open the door, pulling Kylo in immediately before another tenant saw. Jessika’s parents had gotten them an apartment adjacent to campus, so nearly every other tenant was a fellow student. She hardly looked him over before she wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss, hot and passionate.

“God, I missed you,” she mumbled against his lips.

He was about halfway down her throat by the time he realized Jessika was in the room as well, clearing her throat softly. Pulling his mouth away from Rey's, he blinked slowly as he came out of his haze, looking over at Jess. “Oh...hey,” he said, feeling just a bit embarrassed at having put on such a show. “I didn't...see you there.” He'd only had eyes for Rey, honestly. Whenever she was in the room, it was always just her, like he had severe tunnel vision. Maybe it was from having to keep their relationship a secret, or maybe he was a bit more gone on her than he'd thought. Whatever the reason, he felt his cheeks and ears heat up and he ducked his head back into Rey’s hair, almost as though he was trying to hide.

“Hey there, Kylo. Always good to see you sucking down my best friends face. Make sure you leave it intact, okay? I like looking at it, too,” Jessika said.

“Good _night,_ Jess,” Rey said, rolling her eyes and pushing at Kylo’s chest.

“Night, kids! Use protection!” Jess called out, smirking at her own clever throwback.

Shaking his head, Kylo opened the door and left with Rey, fighting the urge to touch her as they wandered through the halls of the building. He couldn't do anything until they were safely in his car or out of town, but damn it, he itched to hold her hand or touch her lower back. Just something, anything, and he quickened his steps in response to hurry and get to the car.

Letting her in, he went around to his own side, starting the drive to Coruscant. Music was playing softly through the radio, some tune that provided just enough background noise to nod his head along to. “I missed you, too,” he told her, remembering what she'd said in the apartment, too distracted at the time to say anything else. Truthfully, keeping their relationship a secret was killing him, and Rey wasn't even currently taking classes, so their time apart was prolonged until she graduated. “What would you say, if, after this semester, we get away somewhere? For the summer, maybe?”

Rey brightened up at that, heart immediately speeding up at the idea of going away with Kylo. Just the two of them, far away from all of this, where they could just be together. She twisted her torso in her seat, fully facing him.

“I have my summer semester but it gets out in mid-July. I’d love to go anywhere with you,” Rey enthused. “Where were you thinking?”

Shrugging, he glanced over at her with a sideways smile before looking back at the road. “I didn't really have anywhere in mind. I just wanted to ask you first. I'm okay with anywhere. The beach, Disney World, up north to the woods. Literally anywhere. Just somewhere that we don't have to pretend.”

Rey sighed happily. It was so easy to picture them at any of those places. “I have no idea how to pick! They all sound perfect. Honestly, anywhere with you would be perfect. I just want to hold your hand and show the world that you’re mine. And if that happens to be Disney World…”

“Then let's go to Disney World,” Kylo said as he took her hand and squeezed it. “I've actually never been, so we can explore it together.” Brushing his lips across her knuckles, he smiled over at her, feeling much lighter now that they had some sort of plan in place. He hated just being sort of aimless in their relationship, having to duck and hide and then not really being able to do anything when they were together. “We’ll get you some Minnie Mouse ears and everything. And if you want, we can even stay at one of their themed resorts too. I don't mind.”

“Yes!” Rey chirped happily. “That sounds amazing! Can we do themed outfits and everything?” She was already planning the outfits in her head. She wondered if he had a favorite prince and princess pair? “And can we meet all of the characters? I've always wanted to! Even Darth Vader!”

“Sure, we can do themed outfits,” he laughed. Her enthusiasm was absolutely infectious. “Darth Vader was my favorite character growing up. I wanted to be just like him; a vessel for the dark side and everything. I sort of saw him as a grandfather figure. Maybe that's weird...I don't know. But if we do themed outfits, it has to be Star Wars related. That's my only demand.”

Rey let out a laugh at that, her nose wrinkling up. “Kylo, only _you_ would think something like that. But there’s no way you could be a dark sider.  You’re too sweet.” She brought his hand up to kiss his knuckles as well, humming happily.

“I can be dark side!” he protested. “I'll show you the dark side!” Laughing again, he shook his head. It was so nice to be carefree, have fun, and simply enjoy her presence. He saw a sign saying that Coruscant was about two miles ahead, and he turned to her. “Hungry? There's a little restaurant I used to go to as a kid that I think you might like.”

“Anywhere with you is a place that I like,” Rey replied. She then blushed, wrinkling her nose up. “Good god, you’ve made me into this incredibly corny, mushy girl. I blame you for this. I used to be mostly normal.” She cracked a smile. “But, yes. I am hungry.”

“I'm surprised I'm able to make you react like that, honestly,” he told her, brow furrowing slightly. He wasn't anything special. Gazing out the windshield as he drove, he frowned a bit more, wondering how they'd ever gotten this far. He was filling with self-doubt, that maybe, maybe this was all some sort of dream and she was still with Finn and Poe and he was just a wanting man, forced to watch Christmas morning from outside in the cold.

Forcing the negative thoughts away with a shake of his head, Kylo tried to give her a smile, but it fell as he asked, “Why...why do you want to be with me? I've done nothing but help screw up your life.”

Rey had a sudden flashback to the night before, so long ago, when Finn asked almost the same thing. She shook her head, banishing that from her mind. That was Finn, who was looking for an easy out because he had been cheating on her. This is Kylo, who looked lost and worried, who seemed to need the reassurance that she wasn't going to suddenly slip away.

“You've done nothing but help _fix_ my life. You helped me through all of my relationship nonsense with Finn, you took care of me with the…” she trailed off. It was still hard to think of her miscarriage. “Oh Kylo, how could you ever think you’ve screwed up my life? You saved me,” she said earnestly.

“I’m just...thinking too much,” he mumbled, taking the exit off the highway. The diner was close, and as he pulled into a parking space, he killed the engine before turning to look at her. “It’s just hard for me to fathom that this is real. That I'm not dreaming. I feel like I'm going to wake up any second and be alone again. Having to sneak around isn't helping, either.”

Lowering his eyes, he took her hand, lacing their fingers together firmly. “ _If_ this is a dream, then I pray I never wake from it. I don't think I could bear facing reality.” He lifted her hand to his mouth and brushed his lips along her knuckles. It had probably been the most poetic thing he'd ever said, but part of him blamed it on the current class he was teaching, although something about her brought out his more eloquent side.

“Oh Kylo,” she breathed quietly, breath stolen away by his sweet words. They approached the restaurant together, all the universe between their eyes. “I love you. Nothing could ever come between us.”

“ _Benny?_ ” came the cry of one very petite woman, who jumped up at the sight of her one and only son entering their favorite restaurant with a...girl? A _young_ girl. If she didn't know any better, she’d think this girl was a student. But her Ben wasn't that stupid. She had raised him better...right?

“Fuck,” Kylo whispered under his breath, squeezing Rey's hand more tightly. “My parents.” He moved his body slightly in front of her, almost as if to shield her from what was probably going to be an assault of questions.

“Hey, kiddo!” Han waved, his hand on Leia’s waist as the pair drifted over. “Fancy seeing you here. And who’s this? I think I've seen her before.”

Rey blushed and ducked, trying to become as small as possible. Of course she looked familiar to Dr. Solo; they’d met once, albeit briefly. This was bad, bad, _bad_ news.

“I’m Rey...Niima,” Rey said.

“That name sounds familiar. Doesn’t it sound familiar, Han?” Leia asked, looking up at her husband. She furrowed her brow, trying to place it. There weren’t a lot of girls named Rey, and there were less with the last name as unusual as Niima...she searched hee memory, knowing she’d heard it before. Just why...why…

Realization dawned on her, a pure lightbulb moment. “You were in Amilyn’s class, weren’t you? Bright little thing, if a bit rough around the edges. Had a knack for it, were you to give it more thought.”

Leia looked up at Ben, agony crossing her features. So maybe she _hadn’t_ raised him right. What was he doing out in public with a student? One who he was holding hands with? It took everything in her power to ignore the excitement singing in her veins at the thought of her son, her Ben _finally_ finding someone, especially when that someone was a student and this type of relationship was absolutely looked down upon. It was a fireable offense.

“Yes, Dr. Organa-Solo,” Rey replied quietly. She prayed the floor would open up and she would get swallowed whole.

Kylo glared down at Han and Leia, eyes narrowed in irritation. They were not going ruin anything. They were _not._ “Yes, this is Rey. And we were just about to leave,” he growled, already taking a step back with her.

“Ben, come on, sit down. We haven't seen you in forever,” Han protested, gesturing with his arm to a booth, frowning at his son.

Rey looked up at Kylo, waiting for him to make the decision. She knew who they were, where they worked, and what it meant for her to be seen with Kylo by them. But they _were_ his parents, and if she wanted to be with him forever (and yes she did) she would eventually have to build a relationship with them.

Besides, _technically_ , she wasn't a student right now, so no one could get in trouble, right?

“Shall we?” Rey asked when Kylo still hesitated. She tightened her hold on his hand, trying to be reassuring.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he inhaled deeply and held it before letting it whoosh out of his mouth. “All right, fine,” he relented, moving with her over to the booth. He let her slide in first and then took up a seat next to her, watching as Leia slid in to sit across from Rey and Kylo was left looking at Han. He could have dealt with his mother, but looking at his father this close had him averting his eyes, his hand clinging to Rey’s like a lifeline beneath the table.

Han picked up his menu, scanning it quickly before looking over the top of it at Rey and Kylo. “So, what's everyone having?” he asked, looking around the table with a little too much enthusiasm. It felt forced to Kylo, but then again, everything about Han felt forced.

“Rey, dear, you _must_ try the summer salad. I know it’s just a tad early in the season, but they have the freshest strawberries you’ve ever had,” Leia enthused, gesturing to item at Rey.

“Oh! That sounds...really good,” Rey said. Damn, it really did sound good, but now she’d been told to order it so she didn’t really have a choice. Would Dr. Organa-Solo judge her for bending so easily to her will? She was the Poli-Sci department head. She knew how to work people.

This was the most terrifying meal of Rey’s life and she gripped Kylo’s hand just as hard.

“Benny, you probably want the steak, but I think you need some more lean meat in your diet. You’re much too broad these days. When is the muscle going to be enough?” Leia continued.

Glaring at her, he said, his voice low and slow, “I can't just...stop with muscle, Mother. I do my exercise in the morning, and I pig out on everything during the day.” Honestly, this felt like an old conversation he'd had with her about a million times. It was just the way his body was! Why was that concept so hard to grasp?

“Well, I think that you look good, kid,” Han piped up, ordering some burger contraption that just promised a coronary with the amount of grease in the menu photo alone. “Doesn't he look good, Rey?” he asked, nudging his head towards where his son sat.

Rey froze. How the _hell_ was she supposed to answer that? They had to know that she and Kylo were…but she needed to support Kylo and build a relationship with Han and Leia so she needed to reply.

“Yes. He looks great,” Rey said, looking up at Kylo and giving him a soft smile.

“You didn't have to buy new clothes for him every month. Like a weed, I swear. Just grew and grew and grew, and then he goes ahead and continues filling out. We get it, Ben, you’re the strong, sensitive English teacher. Clearly it worked,” Leia said, gesturing at Rey.

“What does _that_ mean?” Kylo growled, glowering at Leia. Normally he wasn't so short with her, but having been caught on a date with Rey--his former student--had set him on edge.

“What? There’s nothing wrong with it! You had a persona you wanted to project, so you did. Clearly you did it to attract a girl and, look, you did it!” Leia then leaned over the table, pinning Rey with a bright look. “Don't worry so much, dear. You know, Han was _my_ professor. I was taken in by his suave, sexy, know-it-all confidence. Then I married him and realized he didn't know anything. And I _thought_ we raised our son to not follow in our footsteps, but.” she broke off with a shrug. “It’s not easy, but it can be worth it. So long as no one finds out, first.”

Han wrapped his arms around Leia’s shoulders, leaning in to kiss her temple before turning back to Kylo and Rey with a smug smirk. “You two aren't kidding anyone, either, by the way. Easy to see you're together.”

“That was kind of the point of this date, Han,” Kylo said, looking up as their drinks began arriving. He took Rey’s and scooted it down the table to her, meeting her eyes for a brief second, feeling the tension in his body begin to melt during that short time. He didn't want to ruin this meeting for her, but he also didn't want to work on relationship issues with his parents right now either.

“ _Ben,_ show your father some respect, please,” Leia said.

“I will when he's earned it,” Kylo shook his head, leaning back against the booth to fiddle with the straw for his drink. Having enough common sense to shut up, he closed his mouth and stared at the table until the food arrived, doing his damndest to ignore them while Han and Leia badgered Rey with questions.

“So what are you majoring in?” Han asked curiously, leaning across the table to steal something off her plate.

Rey pouted a bit as Han stole her biggest strawberry. “Mechanical engineering with a focus on vehicle design.”

“Han, put that back!” Leia snapped, swatting at Han’s hand. “Sorry, Rey. Han is a scavenger, I swear.” Shooting her husband one last glare, she smiled at Rey. “That sounds like a wonderful major. Very practical but still with an element of creativity.”

“Thank you. Cars are a passion of mine,” Rey replied.

“You ought to see the old Falcon I have in the garage at home! It’s a total pile of junk, but I've been hanging onto it with the hope of getting Ben to come home and help me rebuild it. Maybe I should ask you, instead. I can always use another set of hands.” He shrugged slightly, having the grace to look slightly embarrassed.

“I’d love to!” Rey chirped happily. She then looked up at Kylo. “If you come, too, of course.”

Shooting her a warning look, Kylo opened his mouth to give some scathing remark, but saw the hope in her eyes and promptly snapped his jaw back shut. He turned his head away so that he wasn't looking at anyone as his jaw clenched, his hands tightened and he finally nodded just once, knowing she'd see it. “Fine, but just for you,” he said softly, still gazing out the window. He was _almost_ willing to try and mend things with Rey around. Almost.

Letting out a low whistle, Han commented, “Phew, whatever spell you've got over that boy, keep it there.”

Rey laughed, her nose wrinkling up. “I don’t think it's anything more than love.” She smiled up at Kylo. “Do you mind moving? I need to use the ladies.”

Scooting out of her way, he let her pass before he sat back down, eyes on her back until she disappeared, and then he turned to fiddle with his hands in his lap, hoping that she would hurry up and come back to save him from this awkwardness. At least with her around, the attention was off of him, but now that she was gone…

“That's that same girl, isn't it? I _knew_ she was more than just a student. Ben, what the hell are you doing? You're going to get fired!” Han said, raising his hands in exasperation.

“ _Love_ ? For Christ’s sake, Ben, is she even legal to drink? You’ve got to be at least ten years her senior! She’s still practically a _child_! And you are her professor! I know she was in your Modern Poetry class this semester. You are absolutely going to get fired!” Leia added.

“You two have _no_ room to talk!” Kylo snapped. He could deal with his parents, but what irritated him the most was the fake niceness they'd been using. As _soon_ as Rey had gotten out of earshot, they were mentioning everything that he'd already thought about at least a million times. He felt heat creeping up his neck, but not from embarrassment. He pointed a finger between both of his parents, narrowing his eyes as he hissed, “You have _no_ fucking right. You haven't cared my entire life. Don't start acting like you do now. If you're going to report me, then do it. But do not pretend like you're loving parents when you've been anything but.”

“Benjamin Solo, you stop that bullshit right now. We have never done _anything_ except love you. And right now, we are showing that we love you by expressing our concern. She’s young, _very_ young, and she’s your student. Do you have any idea how hard this would be? Your father and I faced a lot of hardships when we first started dating, and the worst of it was that we went too fast.” Leia sighed, looking up at Han before she looked back at Ben. “We know how hard your childhood was, and that was all because we wanted too much too soon and hadn’t matured enough to make those decisions yet. We don't regret having you, obviously, but none of us can deny that things would have been easier had we...waited.”

Frowning, he looked between the two as he thought, closing his eyes. He'd had the same thought--of course he had. Things would be so much _easier_ , if Rey could just...wait for him. “I don't think I _can_ wait, though. I've never wanted anything as much as I want her,” he said softly, looking down at his hands again. It was amazing how quickly just talking about Rey took the wind out of his sails.

Leia smiled sadly, grabbing one of Ben’s hands from across the table. “Oh, sweetheart. It’s just...she’s so young. Have you talked about expectations? You never wanted kids and all of that, but what about her? And would you be getting married before she graduates or are you willing to wait until after? Are you going to stay here? Move somewhere else? She’ll need to live in a metropolis to make her dreams come true. Can you handle that?”  

“I…” he trailed off, shoulders drooping as a heavy sigh left him. Leia was right. He and Rey hadn't even had any kind of discussion about these things. He'd just kind of assumed that things would happen as they did. He knew for sure he wasn't going to marry her until she graduated, but that was assuming, again, that she wanted to marry him.

“I’m back!” Rey announced happily. Her face fell as she examined the expressions around the table, her brows knitting together. “Is something wrong?”

Kylo shook his head at her, standing up to let her sit again. “No, nothing's wrong. We just have a lot to think about,” he said quietly as he settled back next to her. “I'll tell you when we get back to the car.” He slid his hand into hers and gave it a gentle squeeze, scooting slightly closer until their sides were touching.

Pretending like he and Leia hadn't just interrogated their son about the young girl sitting next to him, Han dove back into his food with a vigor, making off-handed comments about any and everything, including some plans he had for the Falcon. Kylo just felt somewhat hollow. He didn't love Rey any less or anything, he just needed to have a plan, needed to know what was supposed to happen between now and when they wouldn't have to hide. As much as he hated to admit it, his mother did have a point.

Rey ate her salad and nodded along to what Han was saying, adding in small comments here and there. But her mind wasn't really on that conversation, rather instead the one that had happened once she was in the bathroom. Kylo’s parents seemed so nice, but the vibe she was getting once she returned was that they had said some _not_ nice things while she was gone. Did they not like her? Did they disapprove?

She frowned at that thought. They seemed supportive, but what if that was just for show? They were professors, after all, and they had the university’s reputation to worry about. They were practically the biggest draw for it, after all, their names were what drew students in year after year. Knowing that their own son and fellow professor professor was engaging in an inappropriate relationship with a student was heavy knowledge for them to bear. Would they keep their secret? Of course, Leia had mentioned something about her own student/teacher past with her husband, so they must understand, right? They wouldn't turn them in for something they themselves had done. That would be hypocritical. She hoped they wouldn’t hurt their own son like that.

When the meal was through, there was an awkward moment with Han and Kylo where they both tried to pay for it all, only for Leia and Rey to simply their own money in and proclaim it handled. When they all stood to leave, Rey was shocked to find herself pulled into a fierce hug by the smaller woman.

“It was so lovely to meet you, Rey. You’re a lovely young woman,” Leia whispered in her ear.

“Oh! Th--thank you, Dr. Organa-Solo. It was lovely meeting you both, too,” Rey replied.

Kylo nodded at Leia and Han, frowning at them as he remembered the questions they'd thrown at him. He hadn't been prepared, just locked away in his own little fantasy. Taking Rey’s hand again, he walked with her out to the car, letting her in before he went over to his own side, shutting the car door with a _thud_. He clutched his hands to the steering wheel hard enough for his knuckles to go white, his jaw working uneasily. “So, where to begin…” he muttered to himself.

“Hey, calm down. We’re okay,” Rey said, giving his arm a loving squeeze. “What happened when I left?”

“They lost their minds. About us. About...how young you are,” he slid a glance over at her. “I'm a decade older than you, Rey. It doesn't bother _me_ , but I do sort of feel like I'm holding you back, like I'm keeping you from experiencing your life fully.” He still had yet to start the car, and they were both sitting in silence. It felt extremely intimate, just the two of them, without even the purr of the engine. “But, she had a point. What are your expectations? Assuming we make it through your graduation and everything...what do you envision our future like?”

Rey sat silent for a moment, considering the question. She’d spent so long envisioning a future with Finn only to have that dream turned cruel against her that she hadn't allowed herself that luxury with Kylo. She’d just been living in this day to day, taking what she could when they could. But she loved Kylo, she knew that much. If she allowed herself to imagine…

“I’d don't know how to answer this without the potential of scaring you,” she admitted. But she still pressed on, “If I were to answer it honestly, though, I would say that we would date until I am finally graduated, then we could move in together. Get married and engaged in the next few years. Start a family shortly after. I want...I want to have a baby, and if I was _really_ honest, I should tell you that I’m scared I will ruin it again and that getting older scares me because I know it only gets harder so I would want to try that...soon. I know that's irrational, I know it isn't supposed to get harder for almost twenty years, but then I think that that’s twenty years without and I just…” she broke off with a sad sigh. “I didn't have a family growing up, so I’ve spent my whole life waiting until I was old enough to make one of my own.”

Inhaling deeply, he closed his eyes in resignation. “And that's the kind of stuff she was talking about. I understand that you want children, Rey, I know that. But the thing is...I _don't_ want them...I would be a terrible father. I'm always working...I wouldn't want it to turn out like I did.” He leaned his head back against the seat, though he did turn it to look over at her. “So...do you see what I'm getting at? I don't want to keep you from your dream of a family, but at the same time, I don't share that dream.”

Rey felt the wind get knocked out of her sails. She nodded her head, feeling a bit numb. How could he not want to have a family with her? To have kids?

“I know it was rough for you, I saw...that in there, but...never?” Rey asked quietly.

But she didn't know it was rough. They never talked too in depth about their pasts. They had so little time together usually that there was never time for soul searching questions like ‘hey how traumatic was your childhood?’. They only had a basic understanding of each others lives, she knew the names of his parents, he knew the brief history of what she knew of hers and her guardians, but that seemed to be it. Was she in love with someone she barely knew?

Lowering his eyes, he gently picked up her hand, holding it between both of his own. “I can't see myself as a father. I never have been able to. Who knows, _maybe_ that will change in the future, with you. But I can't guarantee anything. I don't want to make a promise I might not be able to keep, Rey. If that's a deal breaker...then I would understand. I do know that I want _you_ , though. I just think that right now, we have too much on our plates to--to even consider children right now.” Biting his lip, he met her eyes and tried to make her understand. “I don't want to become my father.”

“What would you have done if I would have had my baby? If I would have still broken up with Finn? Would you have...would you still have wanted me then?” Rey asked, looking away from him to hide her tears. This was too hard. She missed the carefree conversations.

“I...I still wanted you. Even though you were expecting a child with someone else. I just needed some time to wrap my head around it all,” he said quietly, remembering that day when she’d nearly miscarried in front of him. “But you’d chosen him, instead, so I didn't even let myself hope. You had everything you could ever want, right? To answer your question, I would've still been around. Assuming you’d stayed broken up, I would have helped you. I would have…” he inhaled sharply, his heart quickening. “I would have raised it as one of my own.”

“So why is that different than if we had one of our own?” Rey pressed gently. “Why does the fact that it was with Finn change your feelings? Because you could walk away at any moment? The moment you decided it was too much, that you didn’t _want_ to be a father, you could just...leave us?”

“No!” he growled, squeezing her hand more tightly. “I don't know what makes it different, to be honest. I just have this...fear. But I wouldn't have left you. I love you too much for that. I’m just afraid,” he realized a second later, turning to look out the windshield.

He was afraid that he would hurt the baby. Not on purpose, of course, but babies were tiny things and he was large. There was also the fear that his work would consume him, that he wouldn't have time to be a father. At the same time, though, if your work is that big a part of your life that you don't have time for your kids, is it really a good job?

“Kylo, you are the most loving and caring person I know. No one took care of me like you did. And you care so much about your students. You have this hard exterior but there is a reason beyond your obvious physical appeal that your classes are always full. You would make an _amazing_ father,” Rey said, bringing her other hand over so she could hold his between hers. “But I know I can't force that on you. It's a choice you have to make on your own. I know that it’s nonnegotiable to me, but you’re also nonnegotiable to me so I will have to find a happy medium. I can't imagine my life without you in it, but I can’t either without a family so...so I will figure that out. Maybe get a cat to hold me over for a while. Jax could use a friend.”

Nodding, he worried at the inside of his cheek. She was right--of course she was right. “I'll give it some honest thought, I promise. But...if we get to the point of starting a family, it would have to be after you're done with school. Is that a fair compromise for now? I want to give you the world, Rey. I just have to figure out how to get it, first.”

She smiled softly, bringing his hand up to brush her lips across it. “That’s fair. I love you, Kylo. I don’t need the world. Just you.”

“So, we just have have to make it through the next year and a half and then...it’s just us.” He threw the car into drive and reached over to rest his hand on her thigh, just needing to touch her anywhere he could reach. “Have you heard from Finn? Do you know how he's doing?”

“Therapy is going great, they’re really working on his attachment issues. It’s rough being an orphan. You sort of latch on to anyone who shows you affection.” She paused, thinking of her own situation, thinking of how she barely knew Kylo sometimes and yet she fell in love with him almost impossibly fast. Was she just as bad as Finn?

She frowned and offered a small shrug. “He’s been going for runs with me. It's helping us both. I needed the physical outlet to keep myself from going insane at home all day. I think I've read every textbook I own, cover to cover. I even read the suggested supplementary texts from your class.”

“Oh, you poor thing. Those are the most boring, bland things to read. But I suppose you'll be prepared for if you do take my class again. I'm glad he's doing a bit better, though,” he said sincerely. Kylo didn't hate Finn, far from it, in fact. He hoped the younger man got over his issues and got his life together, because Kylo knew how much Finn meant to Rey, even if it wasn't romantic anymore. He was still a huge part in her life, and Kylo respected that.

“He’ll get there,” Rey agreed. “And I'm not sure yet. I know we talked about it, but that was mostly just...dirty talk so I wasn't sure about your comfort level if I were to sign up again. We aren’t violating school rules any harder by my not being your student, or the inverse, so it doesn’t matter from that standpoint.”

“I’m perfectly fine with it, if you want to. It makes my days brighter, that's for sure.” He winked at her, stroking his hand along her inner thigh. “We still won't be able to do anything, but if you ever come to my house wearing that school girl outfit after torturing me with it all day, you're going to regret it. Severely.”

“I haven't the faintest idea what you’re referring to. From what I recall of your reaction to that particular outfit, you hardly noticed,” Rey teased.

“Just because I can't outwardly express my enjoyment of your clothing choices, doesn't mean that I don't find them extremely tantalizing,” he smirked, moving his hand down to her knee to gather her sundress and slide it up slowly. “You're going to be the death of me for being such a tease.”

“I was under the impression you _liked_ being teased, _Professor_ ,” Rey smirked, grabbing his hand and moving it to where she wanted. She shivered as his hand met her smooth, wet skin. She knew underwear was a waste of time tonight.

Sliding a look at her, he raised an eyebrow before his eyes narrowed. “I ought to throw you over my knee for that mouth. Or stick something in it.” Dragging his fingers through her wetness several times, circling her clit, he pulled away with what seemed to be a disappointed sigh and shook his head. “I guess you'll just have to deal with waiting, though. Only good girls get rewarded,” he said darkly as he sucked his fingers clean.

Rey whimpered, not too proud to keep it quiet. She hated how easily he took the control back. He was as much of a tease as she was. She had to get him back.

“I suppose I’ll just have to find someone who thinks I’m a good girl, then. Maybe Jesse is available…”

“Or you could just take your punishment and actually _be_ a good girl,” he growled at her, his eyes glinting with some inner darkness at the thought of her even suggesting she go find someone else. It wasn't anything like Finn’s possession, but it was a healthy level of jealousy for a relationship. “I don't think _Jesse_ could give you what you need, though.” He frowned thoughtfully as he pictured Jesse just _trying_ to give her the correction Kylo just knew she had coming.

“I’m only teasing you, Professor. _No one_ can give me what I need quite like you. I’ll accept my punishment like a good girl,” she smiled coyly. “I’m a bit hungry for your cock in my mouth, anyway,” she finished with an air of nonchalance.

His eye twitched slightly as he set his mouth into a line, suddenly needing to get back home as soon as possible. The thought of her going down on him had him impossibly hard already, straining in his pants, though he ignored it to his best capability. Unfortunately, it was going to be a long drive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Mom and Dad! Here, meet my SUPER YOUNG GIRLFRIEND and force us to have a deep conversation about intentions! 
> 
> I mean, what else are parents good for?


	17. Chapter 17

An hour later, Kylo pulled into his driveway, getting out and gesturing for Rey to go first with him right behind her, his face stern and brooding. He reached around her to unlock the door and pushed it wide open, nudging her inside with a firm hand on her lower back.

Closing the door behind him, he leaned against it almost ominously as he stared her down, face a mixture of hunger and cold calculation as he considered her. “What am I going to do with you?” he asked, tilting his head at her, letting his eyes roam slowly over her body, drifting from her face down to her throat, and then down to her chest, the curve of her hips and the bare leg she flashed beneath her sundress.

Jax, the needy thing he was, came happily chirping out to greet them, long since accustomed to Rey. In fact, Rey had a sneaking suspicions that he _preferred_ her, which she was only too happy to rub in Kylo’s face. With a smile, she bent over to scoop up the cat, careful to aim her arse exactly in Kylo’s direction. The dress rose up _just_ enough to flash him the tiniest hint of bare cheek, just the slightest sight of her still-dripping cunt.

“Hello, my sweet little prince. Your mummy missed you so much,” she cooed, bringing the sleek cat up her to face to nuzzle and kiss. She gave him gratuitous scratches on his chin and behind his ears, his purrs loud in the otherwise silent house. “We’re going to get you a little sister. Do you want a tiny princess to rule the house with? Drive your daddy even _more_ crazy?”

Eyes locked on the area between her legs from when she'd bent over in front of him, he slowly lifted them to stare at the back of her head, glowering. That fucking cat was about one step away from going to the pound (not really, Kylo would never let that happen, but still). “Rey,” he said, his voice both a command and a warning. He flexed his hands at his side, his palm just itching to land against her ass for her constant teasing.

Rey smirked over her shoulder at him, pausing from her affections to the cat. “Yes, Professor?” She nuzzled Jax’s head as she turned back, the animal nudging right back at her and purring happily. He climbed to her shoulder, staring his true master down at he rubbed his head against that of his chosen mistress.

“Put the cat down,” he said lowly, shooting a glare at the traitorous feline on her shoulder. That cat really had no loyalty whatsoever. Stepping closer, he crossed his arms over his chest, turning his attention to the woman before him. “Or I'll add more onto your punishment.”

Rey pressed one last kiss to Jax’s head, murmuring in his ear, “Daddy wants to play with Mummy right now,” as she gently set him down.

Jax, for his part, brushed against Kylo’s legs twice before finally slinking off to wherever he decided would be his next perch, like a proper prince.

Rey waited patiently, staring up at Kylo with innocent eyes, hands clasped behind her  back.

Raking his eyes over her again, he pointed upstairs to the bedroom, motioning her with a jerk of his chin. “Go take your clothes off and sit on the bed. I'll be right there,” he told her, taking in her cheeky attitude.

Not wanting to push the boundaries any further, in addition to being incredibly turned on by his command, Rey nodded and made her way up the stairs. She took off her cardigan and dress, mindful of laying them nicely on the back of his desk chair. She had sleep clothes stashed in his drawers, but she’d need something to go home in tomorrow and she didn’t need it to look too wrinkled. It would be their luck to run into someone from school, _again,_ and her in a very wrinkled dress would be a telling story.

After shucking her bra, Rey perched awkwardly on the edge of the bed. Thinking better if it, she crawled up the bed and sat against the headboard, resisting the urge to cover herself with a pillow or something. She felt so exposed like this, but it was what he wanted and she knew she needed to be good and obey for now.

Pleased that she'd finally started listening, Kylo lingered by the bottom of the stairs before he went to go wash his hands at the kitchen sink, drying them off slowly, methodically with a hand towel before he draped it over the edge of the sink, turning to make his way up the stairs. He couldn't hear anything as he approached, and he took that as a good sign--maybe she was doing as she was told.

As he approached the doorway, he stopped in the threshold, immediately drawn to her form on the bed. The sight of her there, nude and waiting, had his hands twitching again, his eyes darkening as he examined her. “What do you think you deserve as punishment, Miss Niima?” he asked roughly, coming to stand at the bottom of the bed.

“Bad girls get a spanking,” Rey said, and felt a tingle race down her spine at the thought. He’d spanked her a few times, during doggy style here and there, and she’d been surprised to find she liked it. In fact, it was harder to find things her wanted to try with her that she _didn’t_ like. But she supposed some of that had to do with how much she liked Kylo, rather than how depraved her sexual appetite was.

She crawled to the end of the bed, on her hands and knees as she reached out for him. She was sincere when she said she wanted suck him off, but she knew he wouldn't allow for it right now. Instead, she drifted her hands up and down his thighs, humming at the warm, hard flesh. His muscles _were_ a turn on to her, she supposed his mum was right.

Tilting his head downward to meet her eyes, he nodded in approval. “That's right.” Reaching out, he tucked her hair behind her ear before grasping her chin and lifting her face up. “And how many do you think you've earned?” His hand tightened on her jaw just a little, a promise of what was about to happen.

“Just two?” Rey tried, biting back a smirk.

Raising an eyebrow in surprise, he brushed his thumb along her bottom lip, asking, “Two, what?”

“Just two spankings, Professor,” Rey replied.

“I think you need more than just two. Perhaps five, instead?” He asked, sliding his hand from her jaw along the side of her face until he reached the back of her head, tangling his fingers through the soft strands, using it as a handle to tilt her head up towards him even further.

“Whatever you think is best, Professor. You’re the master here,” Rey replied lowly.

Sucking in a breath, he nodded, moving to sit on the edge of the bed, making enough room so that it they wouldn't have to worry about anyone falling off. “Come here, Miss Niima,” he murmured, gazing her over once again. He could tell she was just as aroused as he was, the slight flush to her skin giving her away, along with the darkness in her eyes. This was a first for him, but something was driving him to correct her bad behavior, and depending on how well she received it, she wouldn't have to wait too long for a reward.

Rey crawled over his lap, having to wriggle a bit to fit comfortably. He’d been kind enough to leave room so that she wouldn’t fall off, but the fear was still there. She kept herself up on her elbows and glanced back at him. “I’m ready, Professor.”

With her spread out across his lap like this, he was able to take a minute to appreciate the lines of her back, running his hand down her spine before settling lightly on her rear, giving her supple flesh small squeezes to get the blood flowing more readily. "Count after each one, and if you act up during your punishment, we’ll start over. Is that clear?” he asked, his hand nearly vibrating to get started.

“Yes, Professor,” Rey whispered, turning her head back forward. She pressed back just a bit more on her knees, presenting her arse all the more to him in preparation.

“Good girl,” he breathed, immediately bringing his hand back and then letting it fall against her skin with a loud smack. He took a breath, watching her closely as he waited for her to count. Her skin was reddening and he stroked it absently, his touch soft and reassuring to soothe away the sting. The hand not rubbing her ass was pressed against her back, forcing her shoulders down just a little.

“One,” she gasped out beyond the shudder that ripped through her.

Giving a soft hum of approval, he slid his hand around to her other cheek, striking fast, slightly harder, watching the way her skin rippled from the impact. His cock gave a very interested twitch beneath her, but he couldn't let it guide him right now. “Why did you tease me, Rey?” he asked, his voice deeper, more husky already.

“Two,” she cried out. “It’s because I--because I like it.” She swallowed, her body tingling with anticipation for the next smack to come. “And so do you.”

He _did_ enjoy the teasing quite a bit, but he wasn't about to admit to that while they were doing this. “Oh?” he asked conversationally, moving his hand back to the other side, but lower than the first spot. “And Jesse? Does he have access to this cunt? This perfect, dripping-wet cunt?” He struck again, his palm connecting perfectly with the bottom of her cheek, then instantly rubbing at it again. Her skin was radiating heat like a furnace in the areas he'd smacked, and one glance at her face had him confirming that, yes, she really was enjoying herself.

God, he was so hard. He'd never done this before, and to be able to share the experience with her was exciting and thrilling, sending most of the blood in his body to pool further south.

“Three!” She moaned. “No. No. Only you. Just you do. It’s all yours,” she whimpered. She couldn’t believe how turned on this was making her, but she felt his cock poking at her belly and she knew that he was just as turned on as she was.

“I can't hear you, Rey. Who does this cunt belong to?” he leaned down low to whisper roughly before pulling back and smacking her again, right at the spot above where she was dripping. The sound of the blow was cathartic in a way, and combined with the sounds she was making and his heavy breathing, it was soothing.

“Four. It’s _yours_ , Kylo. It belongs to you. I belong to you,” she keened. She shifted her hips, trying to guide his hand where she wanted it, where she was aching with need for him. She whimpered pitifully when he denied her that, her body both singing and deflating. She supposed this really _was_ good punishment for teasing him.

Tilting his head when she tried to move, he tsked at her and shook his head. “Stop moving or we’ll need to start over. You're almost done, sweetheart. You were being so good. Do we need to begin again?” he asked, drumming his fingers lightly along the side of her ass.

“No, I’ll be good. I’m a good girl. I’m your good girl, Kylo,” she babbled, forcing herself to lay completely still. It was a bit difficult, especially since she could feel his pulsing erection against her stomach, but she needed to be good and obey. “Smack me again, Professor. I’m ready.”

Considering her for a moment, he finally relented and gave a short nod, bringing his hand down hard against an untouched spot on her backside. Stroking his hand lightly along every reddened mark, he waited for her to finish counting.

“Five,” she sang, eyes rolling back. “Am I a good girl now?” she looked over her shoulder at him, biting her lip to see the lusty look in his own eyes, the way his lips were parted for his short pants.

“Such a good girl,” he breathed, still watching his hand as it slid lower down her backside to delve between her legs, seeking warmth of a different kind. “You’re my good girl, sweetheart. You did so well,” he praised, dragging a finger through her wetness before plunging inside. “And good girls get rewarded. I'll even let you choose how.”

She moaned loudly as he entered her, now free to thrust back into him. “You deserve the reward for teaching me so well, Professor. Let me suck you off. I wanna feel your cock in my mouth. Please, Professor.”

Closing his eyes at the thought, he groaned softly before giving one final thrust of his fingers. Bringing them to his mouth he tasted one before he offered her the other. “Taste yourself first, sweetheart, see what drives me wild.”

She nodded eagerly and wrapped her lips around his finger, pulling his long digit inside. She moaned wantonly, sucking herself off of his finger and giving him a preview of what was to come. She locked eyes with him while she did it, hers hooded but still fiery, full of passion and promise.

His tongue flicking out to lick at his bottom lip, Kylo gave a small nearly desperate sound as he pulled his finger back, nudging her gently off of his lap. He stood and undid the front of his jeans, pushing them down around his thighs until he could step out of them. Turning to her, he wrapped his hand around his cock, achingly hard and throbbing, and gave a few pumps as he waited in anticipation.

She gently nudged him to sit on the bed, moving to kneel on the ground. “You should get comfortable, Professor.” She smirked up at him before she looked down at his lap, mouth salivating at the sight of him, red and pulsing and waiting for her. Giving her lips a quick lick, she leaned down and took him in her mouth, groaning softly as the taste of him filled her mouth. She hummed softly around him, the vibrations in her throat stimulating him as she took his down her throat. She brought a hand up to gently cup his balls, giving him a gentle massage as she bobbed her head up and down on him. She popped off him to drag her tongue up and down him, sliding him back inside her mouth for just a moment before licking him again. “Fuck, Professor, you taste so fucking good.”

Leaning back on his hands as her mouth enveloped him, he dropped his head back to simply savor the feeling for a moment. The idea that she could take him down her throat had him lifting his head back up to watch her, a moan clawing its way from his throat. “If you--ah!--keep doing that...I won't be able to fuck you,” he panted, threading one hand through her hair to keep himself grounded. She was _good_ at this, really good, and already his body was tingling all over, edging ever closer to his peak. Not many women had been able to deep throat him, as his width was usually a bit more for them to handle, but Rey took it like a champ, and his eyes fluttered everytime she popped off of him, leaving a trail of saliva that connected from his tip to her lips.

“You want me to stop?” Rey asked, coming off him again to nuzzle at it with her cheek, her hand coming up to stroke him. Holding his gaze again, she gently ran her lips over the side of him while her hand moved in lazy caresses, her tongue darting out every other swipe to pass along his hot flesh. She wasn’t shy to admit that she loved giving head. It was a powerful feeling, knowing that she could reduce him to such a state, and she got off knowing that she was giving him pleasure. He was always so good to her and he’d given her countless amazing sexual experiences, giving him a good blow job was the least she could do for him.

Kylo groaned again, asking himself if he really wanted her to stop. No, truthfully, no he didn't. But he also wanted to fuck her again so badly and he didn't want to wait for that to happen later. “Fuck,” he hissed, feeling her tongue dart out against him. “I think you should--ahhhh!--yes, stop, _please._ ” Gasping on the last word as he nearly came, he laid back against the bed for a second, trying to force his body away from the ledge.

Rey came off of him completely, removing mouth and hands as she crawled back onto the bed, laying on her stomach next to him. “Was that okay?” she asked quietly, unable to stop the feeling of second guessing herself. She wanted nothing more than for Kylo to be happy, but he didn’t usually stop her that soon. Maybe he was just as keyed up as she was? He _had_ been really hard while he spanked her.

Slowing his breathing, he turned his head to her, giving a weak smile. “That was more than okay. Normally I wouldn't have stopped you, but you had me so fucking close and there’s _another_ place I want to come instead.” Shifting so that he was on his knees, he adjusted her body as well so that she was on all fours, and encouraged her to scoot up the bed a bit more until they were nearly at the head.

Reassured by the doctor that the birth control would work (along with a side-eye reminder that two forms was always best), they’d been given the clear to have sex sans condom and they were both happier people for it. She bit her lip, excited for him to penetrate her and fill her up. She dreamed of a day when this was a daily occurance, instead of the sometimes every few days thing like what they had going on now. Taking care of herself didn’t quite hold the same excitement, and while phone sex was hot, it just left her aching for more. They’d even tried Skype sex one night, but that quickly ended when Kylo decided “to hell with it” and drove out to her apartment to fuck her senseless. Jessika was none too happy to be forced out of the apartment for that, but when Rey reminded her of how often she left the apartment for Jessika’s sexual sake, she was placated.

“Fuck me, Professor. Please fill me up with your come. I was such a good girl for you,” Rey pled, giving her hips a little shake to entice him in.

Grabbing her waist, he draped himself across her back and kissed the back of her neck, moving down her spine and then over to her shoulder before he jumped to her face instead, lips pressed to her cheek as he murmured, “You were. Such a good girl for me.” Nuzzling the side of her head gently, he pulled back and aligned himself, rubbing the head of his cock between her slick folds.

No matter how many times he had sex with her, he never tired of the way her body felt, always so tight and wet for him. She was so responsive in the bedroom, so willing to fill the air with her pleas and her moans that he couldn't imagine ever doing this with anyone else again. They may have had different people before they'd gotten together, but they were meant to be with each other, those concerns his mother had had be damned.

Grasping her hips tightly in his hands, he pushed into her in one quick thrust, feeling her walls stretch around him. She felt so delicious, so warm and wet, and as he set a hard, slow rhythm, he dug his fingers a little more tightly into her skin, needing to be closer.

He'd never had this emotional connection with anyone else before, and it definitely brought him to new heights. It made his orgasms more powerful, more satisfying, and knowing that she would be there with him afterwards until their lives tore them apart again, he could relax. They'd found that he was actually not too bad at snuggling, and most of the time, Rey found herself being encompassed by his body, nearly laying across her with some subconscious desire to keep her from leaving. “You feel so good, sweetheart. I can feel how full of my cock you are,” he groaned, snapping his hips against her again and again.

“You feel so good inside of me. I love your cock so much,” she moaned, thrusting in time with him. Her forehead was beginning to perspire, wisps of her hair getting caught on it and nearly in her mouth, but she was too distracted to care. This was heaven and there was nothing wrong with what happened in heaven. She just needed him inside of her, pounding into her. She wanted to feel it forever, to get lost in the sensation of her body clenching around his, holding him tightly. “Fuck me harder, Professor.”

Knowing she needed more force, he leaned over her, reaching his hands out to grasp the headboard, pulling it towards him as he pounded into her, giving some extra momentum as he rolled his hips. “That's it, there--we--go,” he grunted between thrusts, planning to make good on his promise from that night of phone sex to fuck her so hard she wouldn't be able to walk right the next day.

The headboard creaked in protest with every movement before it snapped back against the wall, thumping loudly in time with the way Kylo was hammering her cunt.

“Oh my god,” Rey gasped out, throwing her head back in a loud moan. “Oh my god, Kylo, yes, yes, _yes!_ Just like that, Professor, fuck me just--like--that!” She’d lost control of her own hips, her shoulders and forehead pressed to the bed with her back arched like crazy, knees splayed wide to allow him as much access as possible. He pounded her so good, so _good_ , and she gripped the sheets below her in an attempt to keep her head for hitting the headboard. But the sound of it smacking against his wall, that hard thud just a beat after the slap of their skin, spurned her on and her pants and moans climbed along with it.

The bed gave a sharper creak, this one a desperate warning that it absolutely _would_ break if the couple atop it didn’t stop soon, but neither seemed to care.

Shoving himself as far as he could within her with each brutal pump of his hips, he groaned above her, his body slick with sweat, the muscles in his arms straining as he pulled himself just that last bit into her. Vaguely, he was aware of the precarious position they were in, but none of that mattered. They just needed to come, _now._ “Come all over my cock, Rey. Squirt for me,” he commanded, his voice breathy and low, but no less demanding. He'd gotten her to do it only once before, and as mortified as she'd been at the time, she'd agreed that it was probably one of her best orgasms. With the way he was punishing her g-spot, making his presence inside her known, he had a feeling that _maybe_ she'd be able to do it again.

The bed gave one last squeal of protest before it splintered, the top right corner of the mattress dipping down to the floor.

They'd broken his bed, he mused, not relenting his movements against her, although one arm snaked around her waist to keep her in place against him. They'd broken his bed with the sheer force of their coupling and he found himself immensely pleased by that fact.

She was distantly aware that the mattress changed tension below her, and she felt the way he was gripping her waist tightly, as if to hold her up just in case. She wasn’t aware of much more beyond that, though, lost as she was by the power of his filthy and seductive command. She’d give him anything, she’d do anything he ever asked of her, and if he wanted her to do _that_ again, she would. It wasn’t even a thing she felt herself be conscious of, she knew it was coming. She could feel the way the pressure was building to an excruciatingly delicious peak, and with the added pressure of his arm around her waist, it helped.

Balanced precariously on one arm, she moved her other down her body and grabbed for his hand, redirecting it down to her clit. She whimpered something, she was pretty sure she’d asked him to do something, although for all she knew, that was in her mind. Regardless, he read the cue just fine and set just as brutal of a pace on her clit, and it only took a few, barely a handful of hard circles, for her to come gushing around him. She screamed out her release, feeling the way she was soaking him and the bed below them, feeling the tension lift from her body like an absolution of sin. Except this _was_ her sin. And her salvation.

Looking down at her in something akin to awe as she thoroughly soaked him and everything in the immediately surrounding area, he rode her body through her orgasm, the clenching of her pussy around him making him choke out a moan as he bottomed out against her and came, pulsing and filling her to the brim with everything he had. Hanging his head low over her until his hair fell forward and brushed her back, he fought for air, his chest feeling tight at the same time his limbs felt like Jell-O. He was still sending sharp spurts inside of her. Oh god, this was his longest orgasm that he could ever remember. This was how he was going to die, from the sheer amount of pleasure.

“Did we--oh my god, Kylo, did we break your bed?” Rey gasped. They were definitely several inches lower than they were before and now that he wasn’t rocking into her, she could feel how unstable the bed was. She lifted her eyes up to the right and saw the splintering of wood. She laughed a moment, only cutting off when she realized that his cock was still inside of her and the laughter squeezed him more, pulling more come out of his spent body. In the back of her mind, she thought about their conversation from earlier in the evening and realized that if she was not on birth control, this would have run a very real risk of getting her pregnant, his come pulled so close to her cervix as it was. “I’m so sorry! I can’t believe we actually broke your bed.”

“Fuuuuuck,” he hissed as he finally stopped coming, panting heavily behind her. “Y-yeah we did.” Suddenly, he was laughing, a breathless sound as he pulled out of her and rolled to lay on the mattress, feeling it threaten to give even more. “We sure did. Wow, yet another first for me,” he admitted before climbing off the bed and carefully helping her up. It was a good thing they'd gotten off too, because a moment later the box spring and mattress fell through the frame and landed on the floor with a loud thud. “Well...I guess we’ll just need to go shopping for a sturdier bed…” he trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck as he stood next to her, both of them on awkward, wobbly legs.

“That could be fun. We can try out all sorts of mattresses,” Rey said with a little laugh. “I didn’t even get to pick out the bed in my apartment, it was a gift from Mr. and Mrs. Pava. I don’t think I’ve ever selected a bed before.” She leaned her exhausted body gratefully against his, glad for his solid warmth, even as he faltered a bit on his own feet. “That was incredible, by the way. I have no idea how I got so lucky to have you in my life. Or, you know, inside of me.”

Tucking her more firmly into his side, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and gave a very contentedly smile. “That definitely was incredible. Maybe you'll have to get spanked more often. I quite enjoyed that.” Snickering, he realized what she’d said about beds and fell quiet, sliding a hopeful look down at her. “ _Our_ bed?” he asked after a moment. Even if she couldn't share it every night with him, if she helped pick it out, it would effectively be _their_ bed, not just his.

Rey nudged his ribs with her elbow, smirking. “We _did_ just discuss our future, after all. And you made it sound like you wanted me in it, indefinitely. So yes, Professor Ren, _our_ bed. Yours and mine. Where we will raise our cat family and maybe, one day, make a baby.”

Smiling, he said, “Let’s go adopt a cat tomorrow, then.” He brought her to the shower to clean off, planning to worry about the bed later. Rubbing her body down with quick, loving movements to erase any trace of their shared spend, he gave her a soft kiss as he stepped out, turning to dry her off with a towel before he bundled her up in a blanket and brought her out to the living room. Depositing her onto the couch, naked aside from the blanket, he turned on the TV and handed the remote to her. There were several movies they'd been wanting to see that had finally become available for rent.

Rey huddled into his embrace, happy to be with him in any capacity. She did her best to resist the urge to look up cats online, wanting to instead fall in love with one when they got there. She couldn’t wait to tell everyone tomorrow, to show off whatever little sweetie they picked. She’d have to be clever about it on social media, keep Kylo out of it, but she’d have plenty of pictures for just them. As she drifted off to sleep on his couch, she dreamt of the little family they would be adding to tomorrow.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kitten and bed day!!!

In the morning, Kylo’s first reaction was to writhe in agony. The tendons in his neck and shoulder hurt from sleeping awkwardly on the couch with Rey, cramped up as they were. It was great for snuggling, not so much so for sleeping. Groaning, he untangled himself from Rey, where her face was pressed into his stomach and stretched out the ligaments, sighing when it didn't seem to help much. Luckily, he didn't have any classes today, he wouldn't have to lie about what had caused it. 

Moving slowly to the kitchen, he grabbed some painkillers and a glass of water, swallowing them down quickly. He hoped they would kick in soon, because another second of this was going to take him from simple pain to getting snappy at everyone. 

With their plan for the day already in place, Kylo didn't want to ruin Rey’s time of finding the perfect kitten for them. Going back out to her on the couch, he felt his face soften at the sight of her. She was truly adorable when sleeping, all of her cares and stresses gone, leaving her face blank and relaxed. Crouching down beside her, he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, murmuring, “Rey, sweetheart? Time to get up.”

Rey hummed happily and slowly opened her eyes, smiling softly to see Kylo crouched down next to her. She gave a great big stretch, her extremities shaking with the effort of it, before she curled back in. “Kitten and bed day?” she asked, voice still light with sleep. 

Brushing some of her hair away from her face, he nodded, “Yes, kitten and bed day. I can't sleep on this couch again--it ruined my neck for the day. You get to pick which shelter we visit, all right? But you have to get  _ up. _ ” He gave her rear a light smack to get her going.

Rey smiled, squealing happily as he smacked her arse. “Keep that up and we won’t get anywhere today, Professor.” 

She gave one last stretch, flipping onto her belly and arching back like a cat, humming happily at the feeling of it. The blanket slid off her and she sighed at the happy and free feeling of being naked. 

“Rey…” he warned, taking in the sight of her bare skin. “We need to go  _ now _ or we’re not leaving the house today at all, and I’d hate to take you on the hard floor.” As much as he wanted to ravage her again, they did have things to do. Like get a cat. And a bed. His poor neck kept reminding him every time he tried to move his head about that last item.

Rey rolled her eyes at him and got off the couch, making sure to grab the blanket to keep herself covered. “Feed your son, Kylo,” she said as she passed a loud and demanding Jax. “We’ve got to keep him happy before we bring a new little one into his domain.” 

She slipped into his room and rifled through her drawer, pulling out a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, plain and simple. She noted with a sigh that she’d need to do the laundry that she had here, down to just one white lacy thong, not at all ideal for a day of looking for a new animal and trying out new beds. She pulled her hair up into a ponytail and brushed her teeth, thinking over the logistics of where the kitten would stay. Logically, it should live in her apartment, with her and Jessika, as it wasn’t always a guarantee that she would be able to visit here. But she liked the idea of the kitten growing up with Jax, of the two cats bonding. She supposed she could get the kitten used to traveling, especially if she started it out young enough. But it would still need adjustment time with Jax in the beginning. 

“We’ll need to buy a blanket for the kitten,” Rey announced as she came back into the living room. “Keep it in the carrier to gather up its scent. That way, we can get Jax used to it before we attempt to introduce them.” She frowned to realize that she’d need a carrier, too. And a cat box. And litter. And bowls. And food. And toys. Probably a cat tree, too. She looked longingly at the massive one Kylo had by the window in his living room, a stylish black series of shelves leading up to a few more that were laid high above the room, giving the sleek animal full roam of the room from above. When he wasn’t cuddling with them on the couch, he was perched across from them on his shelf above the TV, keeping watch on his humans.  

“Whatever you want, we can get. I do have Jax’s old carrier somewhere if you want that,” he shrugged. If they used that, it might help the kitten get used to the older cat's scent before they even brought it home. “And I can build you some shelves or a cat condo or something, too. Or we can buy it.” He shrugged. If there was something he'd picked up as a kid, it was building stuff in Han’s garage while he was away. He'd gotten pretty adept at fixing cars and using tools by himself to keep his mind off of the awful relationship with his father. 

“You built this one, right?” Rey asked. “I want one like this.” She went and gave Jax one last scratch behind his ear, perched so happily on his tower. “We’ll be back later, sweetie.” She smiled up at Kylo as they moved towards the door. “We’ll have to bring him a new toy, too. He’ll need a reminder that he’s still special, too.” 

“Yeah, I did,” he agreed with a duck of his head. “We’ll get him something. Maybe some catnip, even if he is a traitor.” Turning to the cat looking so lovingly at Rey, Kylo raised his voice and yelled, “Traitor!” Jax, completely unphased, blinked slowly at him, his tail twitching. “See? Let's go get him his girlfriend.” Taking Rey’s hand, he led her outside. “Remember, you pick where we go.”

“There’s this shelter called The Resistance? It’s out on Abraham's Drive, near the old industrial park. They’re a last chance rescue shelter.” She sighed sadly. “You’ll have to keep me from adopting them all.” 

She settled into his car, pulling her sunglasses out from his glovebox. Sometimes, it struck her how quickly she’d blended their lives together, how she’d moved so much of her stuff into his space and he had never once protested. To be fair, he left a few things at her apartment, a toothbrush, his shampoo and conditioner, as well as a few articles of clothing, but her apartment being so close to campus meant that it was riskier for him to spend too much time there. 

It was only for another year, she chanted in her mind. One year, and then she’d graduate and they’d be free to be together. Again, she wondered how many classes she could test out of. Maybe she could graduate in the winter? 

“Or maybe we'll just have to buy a house and adopt the whole shelter,” he smirked over at her. He set off to the shelter, with her giving him directions on her phone. It felt so wonderfully domestic, and Kylo had the fleeting thought of trying to imagine anyone else in that seat. He couldn't do it. He couldn't imagine anyone else in the front seat of his car, directing him to an animal shelter to get a kitten to add to their lives. 

Rey hopped excitedly from the car, pulling on Kylo’s hand as they moved to the door. She could see cats in one of the windows and she wanted them all. How in the world did someone just  _ pick? _

They were shown the cat room by an old gentleman with leathery skin, whose name tag simply said “Ackbar”. He ushered them past the cages full of the more seasoned cats and went right to one at the end where a cacophony of tiny mewls was heard. 

“Early in the season for kittens, and these are too small. Mom didn’t make it, but the vet tried their best,” he explained. 

Rey’s heart absolutely melted, looking at the tiny little balls of fluff. She tried to ignore that it was an inverse of her own story, that she’d made it but her child hadn’t. Her kitten was in this crate, she knew it. 

“Are they able to be taken home yet?” Rey asked. 

“Just yesterday,” Ackbar nodded. “Five weeks exactly. They can eat solid food now.” 

Rey nodded and stared into the cage, taking special care to scrutinize each of their features. There were five of them, tiny little tabbies of various shades. It was the tiniest of them who caught her eye, a little pale gray kitten with the biggest ears she’d ever seen and perhaps the biggest green eyes she’d ever looked into. When Rey gently wormed her fingers through the bars, it was the only kitten who came forward to nuzzle at her hand. It’s nose was bright pink and it’s fur was silky soft. 

“She’s the strongest one,” Ackbar acknowledged, giving a nod. “Tiny little girl, but she tries. I’ve never seen one that small eat so much. She’ll even scavenge off her siblings if they’re not careful.” He nodded at the latch on the cage. “Go ahead and pick her up. There’s a room past here you can take her in, see if you bond.” 

Rey opened the cage carefully, mindful of the other balls of fluff inside, and gently scooped the little gray one up. She held her tight to her chest, mindful of her sharp kitten claws, and made her way into the little room. Once Kylo was inside, Ackbar shut the door and left them alone, saying to just come get him whenever. Rey sat carefully on the floor and gently let the kitten down, watching as she slowly sniffed around the room. 

“She’s the one,” Rey whispered, watching her.

Folding himself down onto the floor beside her, Kylo observed the little kitten curiously, tilting his head when it wandered over to sniff at his shoes. “Oh yeah? Why this one?” He knew sometimes there wasn't really a reason--when an animal called, sometimes it just called. He'd felt the same thing with Jax, rescued from the motor of an old truck in a car lot. He hadn't originally been intending to keep the boy, but he'd been afraid to bring a black cat into a shelter for fear he'd end up with a less than loving family, and Kylo had just never gotten around to it. Not that he'd dream of doing it now, of course. Jax was part of the family, and it looked like this little gray ball of fluff was going to be, as well. 

The kitten waddled closer, its paws nearly nonexistent under all of the fur, with its short, stubby legs. Holding a hand out, Kylo offered his fingers for a sniff. “She's so tiny,” he commented, frowning a bit. He could easily fit her in the palm of his hand. What if he accidentally stepped on her?

“She’s perfect,” Rey sighed happily. “She likes you!” She grinned as she watched the kitten rubbed her head against Kylo’s hand, looking for affection. “She’ll need a name. Something cute, just like she is. You’re the literary genius. Any brilliant ideas?” 

Humming in thought, he scratched the kitten’s head with one finger. She was a fighter, that much was obvious. “What about...Starsha? Mmmm, no. Something cute…” he murmured as he ran through anything in his mind that could be considered cute. “The only thing I can think of is something named after a flower. Daisy, Lily, something along those lines.”

“Daisy!” Rey echoed immediately. “Oh, Kylo, that’s  _ perfect _ . Come here Daisy, my sweet little princess!” 

Rey squealed with delight when the kitten obeyed, plodding as best as her little legs could carry her over to the high-pitched voice of her new owner. Rey scooped her up and nuzzled at her head, smiling brightly to feel the purring throughout the entirety of her tiny little body. “I can’t wait for her to meet Jax! He’s going to be beside himself.” With jealousy, probably, but she knew he’d come around eventually. This tiny little kitten, so small and in need of love and protection, would melt his heart just as quickly as she’d melted Rey and Kylo’s. “I love her so much already. How is that even possible?” 

“Sometimes love just happens when you're not expecting it,” he murmured quietly, giving her a shy smile. He definitely hadn't planned on falling head over heels for Rey, but it had happened and it was the best thing of his life. “We’ll have to stop at a pet store on the way home, and get some high-quality food for her. If you're sure, I'll go get the paperwork and we can sign.”

“Absolutely. She’s the one,” she said, nodding earnestly and clutching the kitten closer to her chest. She then pulled her away and held her up to her face again, smiling at her. “I’m going to be your mummy and this is your daddy and we love you  _ so much _ , Daisy. We’re so excited to take you home.” 

And the kitten, so tiny and small even in Rey’s hands, gave a resounding mewl, bright and cheerful. 

_____________

Rey had admittingly gone a bit overboard buying things for Daisy. She piled the cart high while she and Kylo walked around the store, the kitten clutched safely to her chest as she pulled in toys and items of comfort. She’d at least been considerate enough to text Jessika the moment they got back into the car, sending a Snapchat video of Daisy as well as several still shots. Jessika had responded with resounding positivity, so excited to have a kitten to play with at home. Although Rey wasn’t entirely sure that Jess would love the heaps of things she was going to bring into their apartment. At this point, Daisy would have more ownership over the house than herself or Jessika. 

Gazing down at the cart forlornly, Kylo asked Rey, “Do you think you got enough for her? She's going to be set for life at this rate.” He didn't really mind, though. It made Rey happy and Daisy would need everything eventually. “Did you want to get a harness for her?” he asked as he stopped by a few, plucking a bright pink one and holding it up for inspection. “That way she won't have to go in a carrier every time she travels. And we could take her on walks outside…”

“Absolutely! But not that one,” Rey said. She instead reached for a light blue one with rhinestones on it, holding it up to Daisy for inspection. “What do you think, darling? The blue brings out your eyes.” Noting Daisy’s sniff of approval, Rey tossed it in. “She needs things, Kylo. Lots of things. She’s never had a home before and now that she has two of them, she’s going to need lots and lots of things. Every comfort we can give her. We’re her parents now.” 

She should probably talk to that psychologist about her own issues, she thought as she piled in far too many cans of wet food. Thinking a moment more, she added in five more cans. Just to be safe. The man  _ had _ said she ate a lot, after all. 

“I think she has enough food now, Rey,” Kylo mumbled under his breath as he fought the urge to roll his eyes. There were probably about fifty cans of food in the cart already, not counting what was already at his house. Hearing something crunch under his foot as he walked, he frowned and looked down, seeing that the cat litter bag on the bottom of the cart was leaking. “Shit...hang on, I need to find someone to let them know about this and swap the bag,” he told Rey, reaching down to grab the litter. Careful to angle it so that he wasn't spilling even more, he left the aisle, looking for an employee to bring it up to.

Finding one stocking a shelf after a few minutes of searching, he let her know about the spillover where Rey was and then brought the broken bag to the customer service counter so they could take care of it. Hands empty, he went back to where the fresh bags were and found a new one, double checking it for any tears. 

He nearly dropped it when he turned the corner and saw Armitage Hux enter the same aisle he was in. “Hux,” he greeted coolly, hoping that Rey wouldn’t come looking for him. 

“Ren,” the ginger man said, scanning over the cat litter bag. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“Yeah, just picking up some things for Jax,” he lied, fighting the urge to look over his shoulder. 

“Ah, yes. I promised Millicent I'd treat her today,” he rocked back on his heels, his eyes turning to something over Kylo’s shoulder. 

“Kylo, what do you think of--oh!” Rey gasped, stopping in her tracks as she saw who Kylo was talking to. “Professor--Hux. Hi. Wow, imagine that? I run into  _ two _ professors in the same pet store. What are the odds?” 

“Exceedingly slim,” Hux said, scanning over the items in the cart and then shifting his icy gaze to the gray kitten in Rey’s arms. Narrowing his eyes, he turned his attention back to Kylo. “Jax, hmm? You’re aware it's against school policy to fraternize with a student, correct? I let it go once because I thought it may have been a one-time ordeal. This...what is this? Help me understand, because it can't possibly be what I think it is.” Knowing Kylo wasn’t going to give a satisfying answer, he directed his glare at Rey. 

“I just bought a kitten and ran into Professor Ren here. He’s just giving me advice, long-time cat owner to first-time cat owner. And whatever you  _ think _ you saw before was nothing. You should really get your mind out of the gutter,  _ Professor _ Hux. It’s not flattering on a man of your profession,” Rey sneered, holding Daisy protectively to her heart. 

“Mm, very well. Perhaps my eyes deceived me,” Hux conceded with a dip of his head, though his eyes bored into her, knowing it was a lie. “Enjoy your day, then. Ren.” He acknowledged before he grabbed a bag of catnip from one of the shelves and turned on his heel, walking to the checkout line without a backwards glance. 

Letting out a shuttering breath, Kylo waited until the ginger exited the store before he turned to Rey. “Expect the worst,” he said quietly, placing the cat litter bag back under the cart. 

“Fuck him. He’s a sad, lonely maths teacher who just delights in making people miserable,” Rey scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Do you want to hold Daisy? It will help you feel better.” 

Giving her a grateful smile, he took Daisy from her, very gently with his large hands. He cradled her against his chest, one hand covering her back so that she didn't fall. “Did you get everything you needed?” he asked after several moments of silence. He was worried about Hux, and whatever repercussions this incident would have that he couldn't truly enjoy the feeling of bringing a new animal home. 

“Probably best to cut me off now,” she conceded with a shrug. “Bed, box, litter, bowls, dry food, wet food, mice, crinkle ball, shiny ball, fish, feather on a string, feather on a stick, feather on a bell, collar, harness, leash, nail caps, extra nail caps, brush, shampoo, and finally, toys for Jax for being a good boy,” she listed off, pointing to each item.  “Can you think of anything else? I was going to make her a tag at the kiosk up front as soon as the collar is paid for.” 

“Flea prevention,” he thought suddenly. “She's too young for it right now, but she'll need it soon enough, especially going to and from different places.” Once that had been added to their cart, they checked out, earning a very raised eyebrow from the cashier, along with some advice that Kylo knew was wrong. People usually meant well, so he nodded with a smile, but he knew he and Rey probably knew more about cats than anyone else. 

Once Daisy’s tag was made, he handed the kitten back to Rey and loaded everything into the trunk of his car, ready to be somewhere not in public. “Your place or mine first?” he asked curiously.

“We should probably unload all of this stuff at mine first,” Rey said. “Sorry, baby, Mummy has to put you in your crate for now so that you’re safe.” 

She pouted to put Daisy back inside, but she knew it was safest. Once seated herself, though, she pulled the crate onto her lap and angled it so that Daisy could see her, her fingers gently stroking the downy grey head through the cold metal bars. 

Jessika wasn’t home (typical) when they arrived, so they carried everything up and got things settled. Rey allowed Daisy to roam in her room while they set up the litter box in the bathroom and the food in the kitchen. 

“I’d like her cat climb to be over here, by the window like in your house. There’s a tree right outside so she can watch the birds,” Rey explained, gesturing to it. “It doesn’t have to be elaborate, just enough to--hey? Kylo, are you alright?” she frowned as she approached him, bringing a hand up to gently brush at his cheek. “You didn’t have to pay for half. I would have bought it all myself, you know.” 

Reaching up to hold her hand against his face, he sighed. “I’m not worried about that, though I would have paid for all of it if you'd have let me. I'm worried about Hux. I have a bad feeling about this, Rey. I could lose my job, and your schoolwork will come under scrutiny. I don't know what to do,” he whispered, eyes closing. “I hate this.”

“I can transfer. There’s got to be another school around here, maybe my credits will transfer, and if I get lucky a book or two might as well,” she offered quietly, running her thumb over his cheekbone. She took the moment to marvel at his beauty, his soft eyes that were always changing color, his smooth pale skin that seemed to glow in the moonlight. No wonder she fell for him so fast, he was too beautiful. 

“No, you shouldn't have to do that, sweetheart,” he said gently, leaning forward to kiss her softly. “We’ll figure it out, somehow. I need to speak with Hux. He appreciates honesty more than secrets, though I doubt it will sway him.” Looking over to the spot she'd mentioned for the cat tree, he looked at the space, wishing he had a tape measure to make sure the size would be correct. “I’ll get started on that tonight for you.”

“Don’t do anything to jeopardize your career, Kylo. We will figure this out. I love you and you love me and there’s nothing wrong about that. We’re two consenting adults who entered into a relationship consensually. We shouldn’t let the fear of being stupid punished get in the way of our happiness,” Rey said passionately. She pulled his face back to look at her. “Nothing is wrong with this, don’t forget that. And don’t let that little weasel make you think so. He’s a twat.” 

“I know, I know. But just because  _ we  _ see it this way doesn't mean anyone else will. I won't leave you, no matter what. If worst comes to worst, I'll take the brunt of whatever comes our way. But I won't leave,” he promised, looking deep into her eyes. “But that does remind me--the semester is coming to a close and I'll have to be a bit more busy with work and finals, and you'll have to sign up for summer courses. We’ll make due, somehow, but it might be a little strained.” He didn't like to say it, but it was a possibility, and he knew she knew how hectic it was around finals. 

“It’s alright. I have to help Finn with his last-minute prep, anyway. And helping Jess study for finals will help me. I’ll be trying to test out of a few courses come fall term, to catch myself back up. Maybe even get ahead. I’ve been considering the idea of trying to graduate after the fall semester, to maybe make this a little easier on us? Of course, it’s not just for us! It’s also so I can get a head start on anyone in the spring. I need to start applying for internships and all that once I’m done, and it’s going to be hard enough finding places that will accept a woman without having to compete with the spring grads. Maybe they’ll be so impressed that I graduated a semester early that everyone will want me,” she said, giving a little shrug. “Or maybe I’ll just become an obsessive cat mom and sell things on Etsy.”  

Laughing at that, he shook his head and kissed her nose. “I think you'd be a great Etsy seller. You could make custom name tags for cats and dogs. We'd just have to get you the required tools.” Smirking, he turned his thoughts to a more serious subject. “I didn't know you wanted to intern somewhere. It makes sense, I suppose, but there isn't anywhere around here that has job openings for your degree. We’d have to move somewhere. Of course, I'll help you graduate this year. Intense study sessions, along with making sure your homework is completed.” 

Sliding her a knowing look, he let his eyes glint wickedly. “A reward for every chapter you finish.”

“Hmmmm, I may take you up on that, Professor,” Rey smirked back. It was her turn to look serious now. “And I couldn’t ask you to move, Kylo. There are two offices for manufacturers in Coruscant, a nice, drivable distance away. And if I don’t get one of those I can...I can look somewhere else. I can find something else. I don’t  _ have _ to go into vehicle design. I’d be just as happy working on cars for the rest of my life. Maybe open my own garage up one day. Rose always said she wanted to do an all-girls garage with me.”  

“No, this is your dream. I want you to do whatever you can to make it a reality. Strive for that, but if it doesn't work, then do the garage,” he slid his hands down around her waist, holding her tightly. “I mean it. I'll follow you anywhere. I’ll just transfer to another university, but your job is a bit more limited than mine. So you come first.” 

“Can you make me come first right now?” She asked, jumping up to wrap her legs around his waist. It was an incredible turn on that he cared so much about her future, enough to rearrange his whole life just to make her dreams come true. She loved him so much. 

Catching her around her thighs, he smirked before leaning in to kiss her neck, sucking lightly at the skin. “I think I might be able to arrange that. What did you have in mind? I don't want to break your bed, too.” He said against her skin, punctuating his words by nipping at her throat. 

“Daisy’s in there, so I don’t want to scare her. However…” she trailed her eyes over to the couch. She leaned up to brush her lips against his ear, whispering, “That’s where I fingered myself that first night we had phone sex. I’d love to do the real thing there.” 

Turning his head to look where she was looking, he winced slightly at the strain on his sore neck. “Oh, is it?” he questioned curiously, already moving over to lay her down on it, positioning her just right so that he could fit between her legs and kiss her again, pressing his hardness firmly against her. “Did you come all over this couch?’ he whispered as he nuzzled behind her ear.

“Mmhmm,” she moaned, thrusting her hips against his. “I came so hard, just for you. But it wasn’t enough. I wanted it to be you, needed you so badly. Nothing is ever as good as you are. No one makes me feel like you do.” 

Smiling down at her, he fought back the nagging thought of Finn every time she said something like that. He knew she meant it, or she wouldn't be with him, but still, the thought did spring up at the most inopportune of times. Hiding his face against her neck, he reached down between them to undo the front of her pants, pushing them down her legs just enough for him to fit his hand down between her thighs, plunging two fingers deeply within her, pumping them quick and hard, almost possessively as he growled against her neck.

“Fuck, Kylo! Not so--not so fast, baby,” she gasped, even as her hips rolled under his ministrations and her eyes fluttered closed. 

Slowing his fingers, he kissed her throat softly. “Sorry, I'm sorry,” he breathed. “I just...forget it.” He sighed, withdrawing his fingers from her as he sat back against the couch, his cheeks burning with shame. 

“It’s okay, I just don’t always need it hard and fast. Sometimes I like going slow. I like to take my time with you,” she said, sitting up so she could pull him back down. “We have forever, Kylo. You don’t need to make love to me like it’s the last time every time. What are you so worried about? Hux?” 

“No, not Hux,” he mumbled, unable to meet her eyes. “I'm just afraid you'll leave me again. I was so lost without you. And every time you say that no one else makes you feel like I do, I keep picturing Finn, and I know it’s stupid, because you literally just told me that you didn't feel the same with him, but I can't help it.” Biting his lip, he frowned, closing his eyes. “It’s stupid, I'm sorry.”

She sighed heavily, pulling his head to her chest. “ _ I’m  _ sorry, Kylo. I didn’t realize that made you think of him. I honestly don’t even think about half the things I say when in the heat of passion like that, but I’ll do my best to keep that out of it. But I mean it. You know I do. In all honesty, it was never like this with him, not even in those few weeks when we were with Poe, too. Sure, it was fun and passionate and exciting at times, but it always left me feeling...empty. I used to barely orgasm when I had sex with Finn. I could have probably listed every single one off to you, before you made me forget. Because being with you erased all of that in my mind. I’ve completely forgotten what it felt like to be with anyone else because there  _ is  _ no one else. Not only is the sex amazing with you, but the connection we feel, that wonderful emotion I see in your eyes every time I look at you,  _ that’s _ what was missing. I’d never leave you, Kylo. I love you.”  

Resting his cheek on the soft pillows of her breasts, he sighed heavily. “I know, I do. I'm still sorry. I ruined the moment because I couldn't stop overthinking. I love you, too.”

She smiled softly, running a hand through his hair. “The moment isn’t ruined, you dolt. It’s just changed.  _ Now _ do you think you can make love to me slowly?” 

Moving his head so that his chin was resting on her sternum, he looked up at her, “I think I might be able to arrange something.” Pulling off of her body, he lifted her legs and propped them one at a time on his shoulders as he peeled her jeans and panties down slowly, kissing each of her ankles as the fabric slipped over them. 

Reaching for the bottom of his shirt, he pulled it over his head and set it down beside her pants before he wedged a hand under her lower back and pulled her up into a sitting position to remove her shirt as well, leaning down to kiss softly along her shoulder. 

She reached back to unhook her bra, letting it join the pile on the floor. She moved her hands next to his pants, unbuttoning them and pulling down the zipper as she sought his lips for a tender kiss. Their lips remained locked even as he stood to remove the rest of his clothing, Rey moving into her knees to prevent an ache in his back. 

“I’ll go grab a towel. Give me a minute,” Rey whispered against his lips. The couch was community space and it was proper to keep any sexual fluids off them. She quickly snatched up one of her pale blue towels from the bathroom and laid it on on the couch when she returned, glad it covered a lot of space. “Now where were we?” 

Pulling her back down to the couch, he spread her out against it, watching the way her hair fanned out against the arm rest. “I think you know  _ exactly _ where we were,” he grinned. He slid a hand over her breast, cupping one in its entirety with how large it was. Massaging gently, his thumb flicking over her nipple, he pressed another kiss to her throat, moving down to suck at the supple flesh just above her collarbone, his tongue occasionally sliding down to lick at the dip of it. 

He was propped up on his forearm above her, and as he divided his attentions between her breast and her neck, he rubbed his cock between her thighs, caressing through her wet heat languidly, tantalizingly. He was determined to take things slowly, to bring every nerve ending in her body alive before he took her slow and deep. 

Lifting his head, he pressed his mouth to hers, parting her lips with his own as he let his tongue dance alongside hers before he pulled it into his mouth, sucking lightly. He moaned into her mouth, eyes fluttering shut as he savored her, tasting her like a fine wine, letting her taste settle on his palette.

She threaded her fingers through his locks, sighing happily as he ravished her slowly. They so rarely got to enjoy each other like this, slow and languid and unhurried. She could really focus on the feeling of his lips on her skin, hone in on every inch he touched. It was like a slowly burning fire, simmering beneath her veins and threatening to make her soar and go mad, but on the precipice enough to keep her grounded and sane. She arched her body into his and allowed him to take his time, to touch and taste wherever he desired. 

Sweeping his tongue against hers one more time, he pulled away from her mouth with a shaky breath, his eyes half lidded as he pressed his forehead against hers. “You're so beautiful,” he whispered, searching her eyes from inches away. Every time he looked at her, she took his breath away, a deep ache in his chest at how much he loved her. 

He'd never thought he'd ever be in a relationship, much less one like this. She made him feel whole, complete, like he'd found the missing piece to his life’s puzzle, even after everything they'd been through so far. 

“So are you,” she replied, gliding her lips over his cheeks, his nose, his chin. He had the most beautiful features that alone may have seemed severe, but on him, they came together to build perfection. She was always amazed that he actually loved her, that she was somehow worthy enough to get to spend her days and night with him whenever possible. “I love you so much.” 

“I love you, too,” he whispered back, moving his his from her breast down to trail over ribs, sinking lower to slide over her naval, brushing teasingly over the sensitive skin before he went lower, ghosting over her mound to return to the place between her legs again. He made sure to keep his movements slow and smooth as he pushed two fingers back into her, stroking deep and purposefully, his eyes sliding shut as he focused on the way she felt around him while he searched within her. 

She melted beneath him, her moans long and low as he worked her. His slow work paid off quickly as the pads of his fingers brushed tantalizingly slow across her g-spot, Rey keening to alert him. Her nerves were on high alert, her clit beginning to throb almost painfully from lack of attention. But it also felt good, so good to just focus on one part of her.

Moving his mouth to her ear, he breathed against it, “If you ask nicely, I may let you come.” Nipping gently at her ear lobe, he nuzzled back into her neck, his hard length pressed against the inside of her leg. He was so hard for her it was nearly painful. “See what you do to me, sweetheart?” he asked, rubbing against her.

“Please let me come, Kylo. Please, please,  _ please _ . Then you can put your cock in me and fill me up. I want it so badly,” she whimpered obediently, pressing her hips insistently into his hand. 

Grinning against her skin, he sucked a bruise into her throat as he allowed his thumb to join in the ministrations, pressing against her clit and rubbing in a circular pattern as he thrusted his fingers in and out of her. He loved the way she begged for him, but telling her that right now just didn't seem to fit the situation. He wanted to make love to her, not bring out too much dirty talk, so he filed it away for another time. Maybe when they christened the new bed they still had to get. “Come on my hand, baby, show me just how much you enjoy this.” God, why couldn't he stop with the dirty talk?

Rey nodded shakily, trying so hard to just let go. Her orgasm was just out of reach, although the hard press of his thumb was nudging her there faster and faster. She made the tiniest noises at the back of her throat, small squeaks as she climbed higher and higher, before she finally felt the coil in her stomach spring open and she came. She laid there panting as she leaked into his hand, tiny mewls that could rival Daisy’s. 

“Good girl,” he murmured, bringing his hand up to lick his fingers clean. Shifting his hips a bit, he moved until he was pressed right up against her again, sliding in slowly as he pushed his way inside, her own juices making it easier for him. He bent down to kiss her again, making a soft noise as her body clenched and unclenched around him with the aftermath of her orgasm. “Fuck, I love you so much,” he groaned into her mouth. 

“Then make love to me, Kylo. Show me how much I mean to you,” she purred, head thrown back at the feeling of his cock pushing inside her wet and already-sated body. She’d never tire of the stretch of him inside of her, of feeling his body pulse deep within her. 

Feeling his face soften at her words, he nodded and pressed soft kisses along every inch of her face he could reach. He rained them down against her cheeks, her jaw, up to her nose and across her eyes as he took her body with deep, thorough strokes, laying his claim on her with each pass. His pace was firm, unyielding, but measured. He wasn't rutting her like an animal--he was molding his body into hers, each thrust full of passion and desire, caressing every part of her he could reach. Opening his eyes again, he gazed down at her as he drove her body further, higher, his own following right behind her. 

Roaming over her face, he took in the flush of her skin, the heat in her eyes as she looked back up at him, feeling his heart twist painfully. He'd never been more sure of another person in his life, and if he could have, he would've dropped to his knees right there and proposed to her. Unfortunately, they had to wait until she was done with school, but then they'd have the rest of forever. With each drive of his hips against hers, he pushed more of his love for her into her, each thrust powerful and controlled. He tangled his hand into her hair and held her to him, needing to be closer to her. Nothing in life was guaranteed; either one of them could die tomorrow, but if there was one thing he could do, he could make it to where she would never question if he'd loved her. 

She came undone softly, a gentle orgasm that came to a powerful crescendo and moved her to tears. She clung to him, fingers digging in but careful of nails piercing, legs tight around his hips before falling away completely. She didn’t make a sound beyond a startled gasp, allowing the sensation to roll through her and savor every moment of it. She was pretty sure she said something along the lines of loving him forever, she was sure there was some overly-romantic, straight-out-of-a-dime-novel phrase that came from her lips, but she meant it. She meant it so much. She’d never love anyone like him. Through everything they’d gone through, through every trial and tribulation, she loved him. And somehow, by some divine will, he loved her right back. 

Body slick with sweat, Kylo swallowed her words as she came, drinking them down to keep forever as he held her, one hand resting on her lower back, pulling her torso up against his as he poured himself into her with a shaky gasp, their mouths touching but not quite kissing as they breathed each other in. It was amazing how quickly they could come undone with the gentle sex. Sometimes it was even faster than the frantic fucking they did, as well. Gently laying her back against the sofa, he pulled himself out of her, laying his head against her chest. He didn't care about the dampness between her breasts, or the heat of it against his face. He closed his eyes and listened to get fluttering heart as it slowly calmed back to a normal pace. “I love you,” he whispered, his words nearly disappearing into the air around them.

“I love you, too,” she cooed, moving her hand up and down his sweaty back. “When we remember how to breathe again, we should rinse off and head back out. You still need a bed.” She pressed a kiss to the top of his head, enjoying the scent of him. Even through the smell of his sweat, he had a musk she loved so much, something that soothed her heart and calmed her mind. 

“I think you were made for me,” she muttered, more to herself than him. It was the only way to explain it all. Destiny and whatnot. 

“All I know is that I've been waiting my whole life for you,” he murmured, turning his head to press a soft kiss to the spot just over her heart. Smiling faintly, he slowly lifted himself off of her, rolling his shoulders as he tried to work out his neck. “I think we should get a better frame, too. Because I am definitely going to be doing that again. So...a sturdier bed is a must.” Laughing softly, still trying to breathe, he sat on the edge of the couch, trying not to get his sweaty body all over the cushions.

“I could always give you another massage. I remember you enjoyed the last one I gave you,” she offered with a mischievous grin. 

“That was a cheap move, by the way,” he smirked at her. “You do know what you're doing with your hands, I'll give you that.” He winked at her before reaching out to skim his fingers over the top of her foot. “Although, I do give a pretty good foot massage.” He drew one of her feet into his lap and began to work gently at her arch, applying soft pressure against the tendon.

“Hey! It  _ started--oh!  _ Right there!--out completely innocent. I really did just want to help you release some of the tension I’d caused. It’s not my fault your mere presence turns my insides to goo, not to--ooooooh god---to mention that getting my hands on you is like--hey! No tickling!!!--" she glared at him, held in a temporary staring contest before she finally continued, “it's like the heat of your skin goes right through me, on a direct course to...well, you know.” 

“Do I? I don't think you've explicitly stated where it goes,” he smirked at her, his eyes shining with mirth. Dragging his fingers along her foot again, he finally released her before he stood and offered her a hand up to go clean up before Jessika randomly came back. 

She wouldn't give in to him, keeping her mouth firmly closed as she dragged him off to her shower. Being so much smaller than his, it was an awkward but fun affair, made up mostly of them being squished together, laughing as they clung to one another’s slippery skin as they attempted to rotate out who needed to be rinsed off. Once finally clean, they helped dry each other off before going into the bedroom, showering Daisy in some love and cuddles before they finally set off to the mattress store. 

________________

Rey moved excitedly from bed to bed, giving eager bounces as she tried out the different sets of firmness. She trailed her hands along the ornate footboards and gave the headboards an assessment for how much she wouldn't mind knocking her head against it. 

“I’ve always loved a sleigh bed,” she mused as she gently stroked the fine cherry wood. 

“I'll make you a deal,” Kylo said, trailing after her through the store. “You pick the frame, I pick the color. Because this cherry wood is  _ not _ going to match anything in my house.” She knew well enough by now that he had one color scheme that he stuck with, and cherry would stick out like a sore thumb. 

Rey snorted at him. “You know, I like green a lot. And you already know blue is my favourite color. What are you going to do when I move in officially and want those colors in  _ our _ house, O Gothic One?” 

“You can pick the dishes,” he deadpanned, shooting her a look. Dishes he could hide in the dark cabinets where they wouldn't be sticking out, ruining his aesthetic. 

She just scoffed at him, shaking her head as she continued down the line. He would really need to change his mind one day if they had kids. She wasn’t raising their children in a monochromatic tomb, no matter how pale their father liked to stay. 

“Iron would be good,” she commented, gesturing to a wrought-iron bed. The headboard had an intricate design, thin roses and leaves between the thicker bars. “We probably can't break that.” 

Walking up behind her to inspect the bed, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back against him, resting his chin on her shoulder, gazing at the bed. “I feel like that's a challenge. Are you up to it? Because I am.” he breathed against her ear, licking the shell of it teasingly. 

She giggled, twisting out of his grasp. “We are in a public place, Kylo Ren. Behave.” She then grinned and stepped up close to him. “But that does sound like fun. Plus, bars are always good to hold on to...or be tied to…” she winked at him and walked off, giving her attention to a pillow test. 

Narrowing his eyes at her, he set his lips into a tight line, already making plans for that night. He'd never tied her up before, and at this point, he wasn't entirely sure what all she'd experienced in the bedroom after her dive into poly. Frowning as he examined various pillows, he tried to find one that fit best for him. Honestly, firm was better, something that didn't make his body sink down too much, contorting his already elongated spine. 

“I think I could get used to this,” he said softly as he squished a pillow between his hands. “Doing absolutely boring, mundane things like this with you. You make it so much better.”

“You like doing mundane things with me?” she asked, sidling up beside him. She slid her hands along his back, giving his shoulders a few firm squeezes. “Because I love doing them with you. I'm so glad we can do this, being out in public like a real couple. I mean, we  _ are  _ a real couple but...you know what I mean. A real  _ public  _ couple.” 

“You know, one day we’ll be able to do this all the time, and not in secret. Secretly public…” Snorting lightly at his own joke, he held up a pillow for her to examine. “You're the engineering expert. Is this well made or not?”

“Excellent. See these little ridges here? Total aerodynamics. The best for pillow fights and trips to space,” Rey replied, affecting a very serious, science-y tone. 

“Pillow fights?” He asked, raising an eyebrow as he shot her a devilish grin. “You better load up on ammunition, because I will not go mercifully on you tonight.” Bending down closer, he smirked, “In  _ any _ way, shape, or form.” They couldn't possibly have a pillow fight here in the store, not if they still wanted to buy something and be allowed to possibly come back. 

“You haven’t even seen my secret weapon yet,” she taunted. “Now let’s go pick out a mattress so we can break it in. And quickly. I miss my kitten.” She hated that they had to leave Daisy behind, but it was too out of the way to go to Kylo’s house, drop her off, and then come to the mattress store. Instead, they’d left her at Rey’s and had decided to go back between the mattress selection and the mattress delivery. 

Rolling his eyes, Kylo followed Rey to get a mattress. They tried out several, laying on them awkwardly in the middle of the store as other customers walked around them. Personally, Kylo felt like something straight out of a children’s book. This bed was too soft, that one too firm, but this one...this one was  _ just _ right. Luckily, Rey seemed to feel the same way about it, so onto the credit card it went, and they were told to expect a shipment later that evening. 

So as they drove the distance back to Rey’s apartment, Kylo held her hand the entire way, feeling happier than he had in a long while, even if they had run into Hux earlier in the day. Not even the redhead was enough to put a damper on his mood. 

After they'd said their hellos to Daisy and given her copious amounts of snuggles, at which Rey laughed at Kylo, saying something about it being funny that a man of his size was completely under a kitten’s spell was just too adorable, the pair went back to Kylo’s house, where they introduced Daisy to Jax, very carefully. The sleek black cat barely batted an eye at the little gray puff ball, though he did sniff her rather intently through the crate for several minutes before turning to go lurk in a corner somewhere.

Kylo and Rey made dinner side by side, occasionally bumping hips on purpose as they found their rhythm in the kitchen while waiting for the bed to arrive. Kylo helped to haul away the old frame and mattress, earning a very heated look from Rey as he caught her biting her lower lip while he helped carry it down the stairs. 

After the delivery was finished and it was just them again, Kylo threw her over his shoulder and nearly ran up the stairs to the bedroom in their haste to officially claim the bed as theirs. Life was good, life was great. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you miss Hux? We sure did.


	19. Chapter 19

Rey was beyond proud as she cheered for Finn at his graduation. After everything they’d gone through this year, every awful thing spliced with a few wonderful, she knew she was forever going to make good on her promise to support him. He was doing so well in his therapy, she knew he would go on to having a healthy relationship as soon as he felt ready. And she was happy to be there by his side, giving him the kind of love she could. He was going to be forever dear to her, and this way, he could be her dear friend.

 Summer semester began the next week and she fell headlong into it, cruising through her engineering courses while completing two gen-ed’s at the same time. But she was saving her final English credit, already signed up for Kylo’s class in the fall. Her advisor had reassured her that graduating in December _was_ within the realm of her possibilities, but he tried to urge her against testing out of the courses in her major. He emphasized that she should get the hands-on experiences, rather than just regurgitating the book-knowledge she had acquired through her intensive studying.

 “But I don't want to wait to get my degree,” Rey finished. “What do you think, baby?” she looked over at Kylo, peering over her sunglasses to look at him.

 They had taken a mini-vacation to a nearby hotel, spending the weekend lounging by the pool. Rey was lying on her stomach on a chair, getting sun on her back, while Kylo was tucked safely under an umbrella, a book in his lap. He’d at least been kind enough to run her suntan lotion all over her body, smirking whenever his fingers edged someplace _naughty_ , even as other hotel guests walked by. Rey was beginning to think he had a public sex fetish…

 Lifting his head from his book, Kylo flicked his eyes over to look at Rey, once again feeling his mouth go dry at the sight of her. The summer heat wasn't helping the situation, either. She knew exactly what her body did to him, and as he raised an eyebrow, he tilted his head in thought while he finished undressing her with his eyes. “I don't think it's really up to me,” he shrugged. “I agree about needing hands-on experience, but at the same time, if you get an internship, you'll get more than enough, so I think using the classroom for book studies might benefit you more in the long run than not. But what do I know? My degree is not hands-on the way yours is.” Giving her a cheeky smile, he turned his head back to his book, though he didn't even try to hide the way he kept looking at her.

 She pressed her forehead to her arms, groaning. “I know that the experiences in the classroom are invaluable, that I can never get that back, but I _have_ to get some sort of an advantage over the guys. Graduating early makes me look impressive. It shows I’m smart and driven and can conquer anything. Plus, you know, Daisy can finally permanently move into your house, and we know how important that is to Jax.”“

You can absolutely graduate early. I know you can--and like I said before, I'll help you in whatever way I can. Flash cards, encouragement, you name it.” Setting his book down, he moved over to sit beside her, reaching his hands out to rub along her lower back. Hmm, she could use some more lotion. She'd been laying out long enough that it seemed to have absorbed into her skin already. Grabbing the bottle that was under her lounge chair, he flipped the cap and squirted some out onto her skin, then began to work it in with his hands. As he moved higher up her back, he tugged at the string until it came undone, and then he moved each piece off of her back so that he had unlimited access to the entire expanse. He said something about tan lines as he worked, mentally going through all of the ways he could help her get ahead without actually helping her in a manner that would get him in trouble. He wasn't going to go change her grades or anything like that, and he knew she was more than smart enough to be able to succeed on her own.

“I'm still all for the study session idea. I'll help keep you on track and away from distractions. And when you graduate, with full honors and everything, maybe you could join Daisy?” He tilted his head a bit, nervous at how he'd just asked a girl to move in with him. What if she said no?

“Sounds fair. After all, a kitten should stay with her mummy,” she replied, keeping her tone level even as her heart raced. They discussed her moving in, it had come up here and there, but they never put an actual timestamp on it. It was always a “future" thing. She rolled over a bit so she could look up at him, holding a hand to her breast to keep it covered. “Only you would ask a girl to move in with you while she’s topless. You're incorrigible, Kylo Ren.” She leaned up then and captured his lips in a kiss. “And I love you.”   

Shrugging, he gave her a sinful smile as he slowly moved his eyes over her again, lingering where she was covering herself. “Well, is there a better time to ask? If I do it this way, you're much less likely to run away.” Bending his head back to hers, he kissed her again and said, “I love you, too. Now lay back down so that I can finish getting your back.”

Rey hummed happily as she settled back down, letting out little moans as Kylo worked the lotion on her back. She was hardly surprised when he moved down her legs next, massaging her thighs and calves with strong but tender motions. She squealed a bit too loudly when his fingers brushed between her thighs, earning them a glare from a mom a few chairs down.

“Kylo, you’re going to get us kicked out!” She giggled, kicking her leg back at his back.

Grinning, he put a hand to his chest and asked, “Me? I would _never._ Maybe we should come back later when it’s dark. A lot less witnesses that way.” Wiping his hands off on a towel, he moved back over to his chair, going back to being the good professor that didn't engage in any scandalous acts in public.

Rey huffed at him, reaching back to re-tie her top. He was lucky she loved him, or else she’d have to kill him for constantly trying to get her in trouble. She hid her smirk as her mind reminded her that she did it a lot to him, too. That was only fair, after all.

___________

Rey tried not to show her disappointment about the delay in their trip to Disney, but it was her fault, ultimately. Her summer courses were proving to be intense and she had to focus all of her attention on her studies to get her graduate-early plan in full swing. That also meant taking the second summer semester, in the hopes of finishing off the last of her gen-ed’s (save one English course) as well as the two engineering courses available.They were at least able to go camping over the long weekend between the semesters, which Rey delighted in. She loved camping.

“Do you need any help with the tent?” Rey asked, sorting through the cooler for a bottle of water. It was mid-July and sweltering hot, even hidden as they were beneath a canopy of trees. They’d had to borrow a truck from Jessika’s boyfriend (who blissfully asked zero questions about why Rey needed it) for the easier haul, neither of their cars big enough.

“No, I don't need any _help,_ ” Kylo growled, trying to fit two connecting pieces of the tent together. These fucking instructions made no sense. It almost seemed like there was a piece missing, but hadn't he specifically bought the tent brand new to avoid that? He was hot, he was sweaty, and all he wanted was a beer and a shower. Maybe some air conditioning. This was a horrible, terrible idea. They could have gone somewhere, anywhere except for out here. He was being eaten alive by mosquitos, and with the sheer amount of bug spray he was doused in, he was lucky that Rey even wanted to be around him at all.

Finally, _finally_ he got the tent up...only to have it collapse in on itself at the barest hint of the hot summer breeze. “FUCK. THIS. THING!” he roared, throwing the pieces of the tent that had fallen out. The landed against a tree with a loud snap. He could at least see that it wasn’t broken. Storming over to the cooler, he dug inside it for a beer and then stalked off into the trees to calm down and take a break. Camping was fucking stupid.

“Why don't you go look for some dry sticks for the fire, baby?” Rey said gently, rubbing the flat of her hand in soothing circles around him broad back. The lake was just through the brush, they’d have to go for a dip. She pressed a kiss to the top of his head and gave him a tiny nudge.

“That tent dies today,” he vowed as he trudged off further into the trees, bending down every so often to pick up a log or some branches that would make good kindling. Camping was dumb. Who would willingly subject themselves to this? The stupid bugs buzzing his head were driving him crazy, and before long, after he'd finished his beer and held the empty bottle in one hand, his findings tucked under his other arm, he made his way back to their temporary camp, dropping the wood in a spot he seemed good enough for a fire pit. “Why did we do this again?” he grumbled as he started looking around for some rocks to form into a circle.

“Because nature is good for us,” Rey chirped happily, giving the last stake one final pound. She stepped away proudly, gesturing to the perfectly sturdy tent. “All set! I’ll get the air mattress started.” She made her way back to the bed of the truck to pull out the air mattress bag, pulling forward their blankets and pillows.

Glaring at the tent, Kylo mouthed a very firm _fuck you_ to it before he sighed and went to help Rey with the blankets. Slinging some over his arm, he muttered, “At least you picked a spot by the river, so we'll get to go swimming to cool off. This heat is unbearable.” More quietly, he said, “Sorry about earlier. You did good on the tent. I’m just hot, and I stink, and I'm incredibly frustrated.”

She lifted a hand up to the side of his face, pulling him down so she could brush her lips across his jaw. “You are hot in every possible way, baby. And hey, not everyone has the magic touch when it comes to tent building. You get really good at it when you’ve...well, when you’ve built a lot.” She unzipped the flap and ducked into the tent, setting the bag down so she could pull out the bed as well as the electronic pump.

Frowning at the thought of her having built a tent who knew how many times, Kylo suddenly felt like an asshole. Here he was, whining like a mopey baby, while Rey had probably been through many worse situations. Shoulder slumping, he followed her into the tent to help her however he could. He crouched down to hook the pump into the air mattress once it was unrolled and placed vaguely where they wanted it. They worked in silence for a bit, though it was even hotter inside the tent, and Kylo's hair was nearly matted to his head and neck, sweat dripping from his face. God, he fucking stank, but if Rey could put up with it, so could he.

Rey worked on setting up the bed, pulling the fitted sheet on before sliding on the next and then the final, lightweight blanket. She knew Kylo probably wouldn’t appreciate the multitude of blankets now, but he would once it got colder at night. She would have to promise him that it _did_ eventually cool off. Giving the pillows a quick fluff, she left to tent to go pull in their luggage, smiling at him.

“Change into your swimsuit, baby. Let’s get you cooled off.” She was already tugging off her own tank top, not having bothered with a bra today. While she wasn’t as affected by the heat as Kylo was (she had been very kind in not teasing him about how he’d never last in the desert wasteland of her childhood) she wasn’t immune to the sweat of it and she needed the swim just as badly as he did.

Nodding at her, he sighed and pulled out a pair of swim trunks from his bag. He was nervous about swimming in lakes as it was, but he wasn't going to be doing it naked, either. He'd seen too many nature documentaries to trust anything in the water. Wandering out after her to the little beach by the side of the river, he dug his toes into the mix of fine gravel and sand, knowing it wouldn't be the most comfortable to lay out on, but that was okay. Coming up next to her, he took her hand and kissed her fingers gently before moving towards the water, tugging her in with him as the cool water lapped at his waist the further in they went. Already, he felt better, and he pulled her in a bit closer against him, appreciating her lack of a swimsuit, where he could see her breasts through the extremely clear shimmer of the water.

“One day I’ll get you to the point where you can swim nude,” she teased him, winking as she slipped away from him and under the water. “And maybe you can actually _teach_ me to swim.” She only knew how to float, sort of. But she’d hidden this from him so far, always just playing in waist-high waters with him. But at least _she_ wasn’t afraid of random parasites in perfectly clean lake waters.

“Well, we can do that right now,” he offered as she resurfaced, taking another step back until the water was nearly chest high. “We’ve got all weekend to practice, so might as well before you're swamped with papers and books, and I'll barely get to see you.” His tone was wistful, sad and almost mourning at the same time.

“It will pay off. We’ll get through this and have unlimited time to be together after it’s all over,” she whispered, a promise. “But, for now, we have this weekend together. And hey, we survived the first summer semester with minimal casualties. Only your poor carpet suffered any real damage from that night I fell asleep studying and spilled my wine.”

Shaking his head at the memory, he grasped her gently by the wrist and pulled her back into him, unwilling to let her go just yet. “You’re exceedingly adorable when you fall asleep, anyway.” Just as he spoke, he brought them deep enough to where they were both floating, and Kylo was extremely grateful there was barely any current today. He dipped his head back in the water until his hair was soaked again, only this time with water instead of sweat before lifting himself up again to kiss her, smirking softly against her mouth. “I'll take spilled wine any day.”

She twined her arms around his neck, using her fingers to gently massage this head. She smiled as she drifted her fingertips along the top of his ear. “I love everything about you. I hope that when we have kids, they’ll get your adorable ears.”

“Good god, I hope not. I wouldn't wish these on anyone, much less my own children. You're the only person that I let see them,” he rumbled, his hands holding her firmly around the waist to prevent her from sinking. She knew he'd never let anything happen to her, and he had to revel in that sort of trust. “If anything, I hope they get your eyes,” he smiled, tucking some of her hair behind her ears. He still felt a bit self-conscious about his around her, or anyone, but she obviously didn't have a problem with them, and it wasn't like he could change them, either.

“Mine? But yours are so much more beautiful!” Her heart thumped in her chest, hard, at the knowledge that he was willingly talking about kids with her, as if he actually wanted them. “I hope they don’t end up with my horrid freckles, either. Such a nuisance.”

“You hush, your freckles are fucking adorable. Probably one of my favorite things.” To prove his point, he leaned forward and rained kisses across her nose and cheeks, making sure to get every area on her face that had even a hint of freckle. “You know…” he trailed off, brow furrowing slightly as he tilted his head back to look up at the sky. “You've made me rethink a lot of things,” he said quietly, listening to the gentle trickle of water around them.

“I have?” she gasped quietly. “Like what?”

“A lot of things,” he admitted, sliding a glance down at her. “I think, maybe…” He inhaled sharply before letting the words out in a quick rush. “I think maybe I could have kids one day, if it was with you.”

Rey’s heart was going to explode from her chest. “You--you want to have kids with me? Do you really mean that?”

Was this a dream? A mean joke? Was he really, _honestly_ reconsidering his position on children? It had only been four months since they had that discussion, since she’d locked that desire away in her heart and instead focused all of her family-wanting needs on the cat family she was building with him. Daisy had been a tremendous help, a fuzzy and incredibly loving bandaid on her heart, but she knew that it was only a temporary fix. Every time she saw a baby, her heart ached and she was sure she felt her uterus release an egg (even if that was ridiculous). But she had finally come to terms with waiting, with the thought that at least she got to be with Kylo and Jax and Daisy and that would be enough for her for now. She was even beginning to convince herself that it could always be enough. But she knew now that that was a total lie, given the way her heart soared at his declaration.

Swallowing thickly, Kylo turned his eyes to her, meeting them as he nodded. “I do mean that. I want a family with you--a _real_ family. But we’ll still have to wait and everything to have any--because I want to do this right--so you still have to graduate first before I will agree to actually _do_ it, but just know that the want is there.” He held her hands in his as he kissed across every knuckle. “Fair?”

“Fair. Absolutely fair. Oh my god, Kylo, I love you!” Rey said, wrapping her entire body around him, her body trembling with excitement. She didn’t think she could be any happier than if he’d proposed to her. He wanted her. He wanted a _family_ with her. It was what she always wanted, and this man, this wonderful man, was going to give it to her. She smiled against his shoulder, already picturing their brood. Lots of dark hair, that was a given, with eyes ranging from green to brown. Her nose and his lips? “How many can we have?”

Wrapping his arms just as tightly around her, he clung back to her, nuzzling into her hair gently. “I love you, too, sweetheart,” he whispered. “We can have as many as you want, but let's just start off with one and see how that goes.” Closing his eyes, he breathed her in, feeling content as he moved them back to a spot where he could comfortably stand in the water with her. “So, there's your incentive for graduating. If you decide to delay in your studies, you get to delay in a baby.” He wasn't meaning for it to be a punishment, and he knew it was a good motivator.

“Maybe if I graduated with high honors, we’ll have twins,” she teased, biting her lip through her smirk. She tried to imagine them with twins, a little boy and girl, climbing all over their tree of a father. She sighed happily, laying her head on his shoulder. How could a person be so perfectly and incandescently happy?

“Twins?” he asked, eyes wide. Oh Jesus, no. He was just warming up to the idea of one child at a time. He didn't know what he'd do with two babies at one time. Sure, he'd probably get used to it, but he wanted things to go just a bit more slowly. “I don't know about twins…” he mumbled, ducking his head against hers as he rubbed her back soothingly.

She finally let out her laugh, the sound bouncing back into the trees and out over the open water. “Maybe not the first time around. I don’t know how we’d even handle twins.” She pulled back from him so that she could look up and into his eyes. “But if I had to pick _someone_ to struggle through having twins with, it would be you. But if we can pick, I’d say one at a time is probably best. If only for the sake of our sanity.”

As she gazed up and into his eyes, she thought about everything he’d said. He said he wanted to do this right. Did that mean marrying her, too? She knew that it wasn’t unheard of anymore to start a family with someone you weren’t married to, so she wasn’t going to just assume that he was going to propose to her anytime soon simply because he’d decided that she was the person he wanted to have a family with. But if he really meant what he said, if he wanted to do this “right”...could it be possible that he also wanted to marry her? And soon?

“I wouldn't pick anyone else, either.” He smiled, tightening his hands around her thighs as he rained kisses across her jaw and down her throat to her shoulders, letting his tongue slip out to taste the water glistening on her skin. “But for now, we need to go start the fire before it starts getting too dark,” he said softly, a slight smirk in his voice.

He was quickly getting to the point where he couldn't imagine a life without her in it. It was amazing how quickly she had consumed his heart, crawling inside and latching on tightly to make it hers. He was determined to take things at a reasonable pace, to court her and woo her while she was in school, to make sure that she wanted this as much as he did--that she wanted to spend the rest of forever with him like he did with her.

“Do you think you can handle starting a fire, Professor Ren? I know there’s a lot of literature on it, but reading it and doing it are two different things,” she teased him lightly. She clenched her thighs around his hips, hoping he wouldn’t drop her for poking fun of his tent-making skills. It wasn’t his fault he hadn’t lived in tents before. Not everyone was so...privileged.

“I’ll manage. And if not, I'll just offer you as a sacrifice to make up for it. Maybe the gods will smile on such a lovely offering.” He kissed her nose softly as he made his way up the river bank back to their little camp, where he gently set her down on the ground beside their makeshift campfire and set about gathering you the sticks, arranging them in a nice, neat fashion in the pit. Once he was satisfied with how they were laying, he went to rummage around in one of their bags for a lighter and just a little bit of lighter fluid. “Since you're the expert here, what am I doing wrong?” He was suddenly second-guessing himself in his fire-starting abilities and if she could learn from him, he could learn from her.

“First of all, they go in a little teepee,” she instructed, stepping forward to arrange them that way. She'd dressed in a pair of soft cotton shorts and an overly big hoodie. Well, it was his hoodie. She’d stolen it out of his suitcase the moment they came back to camp. It didn't even look like she was wearing shorts at this point, the fabric extending far down her thighs. It was so warm and comfy.

“Then we take a little piece of paper,” she tore off some of the newspaper she’d packed specifically for this, carefully placing it in the center of her stick formation, “and then we light that.”

She smiled as she stepped back, watching the fire catch on. “Then we feed it more sticks as it burns and, viola, a fire!” She beamed up at him, proud that she was so useful to him. He was always doing things for her, building her a proper cat palace and helping her and Jess move around the living room (well, it was more like them standing to the side and admiring him while he did it), it was really nice to feel like she could show him something for once.

Kylo watched in rapt fascination, taking every little thing she did to file away for later. He was a quick learner. Once the fire was burning steadily and needed very little tending to, he went to go dig around in their cooler for two beers and the s’mores making stuff. The only time he would eat marshmallows was when they were sandwiched between chocolate and a graham cracker. Next, he found some pokers he'd been gifted from Han one year and handed them to her, along with a beer.

Looking around, he found a decently sized log that would make a good bench and dragged it close so that they could sit and roast their marshmallows until they were nice and gooey. “This is nice,” he said softly as they settled down, taking in the absolute seclusion of their little area. The stars were beginning to come out, shining brightly without the light pollution from the city.

They sat in quiet for a little bit, occasionally feeding each other a little bit of their sugary treats, only for Kylo to laugh when he accidentally smeared some chocolate on the corner of her mouth. He ducked down quickly and kissed it away before pulling back and wrapping his arm around her shoulders, tugging he close into his side to press his face against her hair instead. Even with the river water making it a bit damp, she still smelled like herself.

Rey sighed happily, relaxing so completely in his hold. This was everything she had ever wanted. Kylo was everything she’d ever need. And in a few short months, nothing at all would be able to stand in their way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone still with us! We're SO SORRY we're so super behind on comments. In true us fashion, we sort of got distracted by adding an extra FOUR projects to our list. We're sick. We know we're sick. We're so sorry (but we're not sorry. Reylo is strong, yo)


	20. Chapter 20

Their fall semester had just started and both Rey and Kylo were just a little nervous. She did end up taking his class again, and sometime in the first week, he just knew this was a bad idea. She made good on her promise of teasing him every chance she got, sitting front and center in his class. The desk tops were wide enough that she could spread her legs and the people behind her would never be the wiser. Today, she’d elected to forgo panties, and she put herself on complete display for him. It caused him to pause and clear his throat numerous times during his lecture, a blush creeping up his face. Damn it, this was such a bad idea. 

How was he ever going to hide his erection? He knew what she tasted like, what she felt like, and no one else in the room did. It was their little secret. She was such a fucking tease. He had to adjust his collar a few times to restrain himself from palming his crotch, and eventually, he just gave up the idea all together and went to sit behind his desk. It was still much too early in the class to call for dismissal, but he was sorely tempted. And that wasn’t the only thing that was going to be sore. He’d make sure of it later. His hand was twitching, already thinking about how he was going to redden her ass so thoroughly before the night was over. 

He caught her cheeky looks, the ones that said she  _ absolutely _ knew what she was doing to him. He kept his face passive, though he couldn’t tone down the intensity in his eyes whenever he looked at her. Yes, she was really going to regret this. 

Rey nibbled at her lip, delighting in the discomfort she was causing him. She saw the other girls in the class trying to flirt with him, same as she had before, and it gave her a delighted thrill to know that even if each one of them had their bare cunts on display to him right now, he’d only look at her. They were devoted to each other, hopelessly and endearingly. She’d taken on an incredibly loaded semester with the promise of graduating in four months, taking classes on every single day, including Saturday. Her advisor had looked at her like she was insane, but when she’d passionately explained her plan for beating out her male competition in the spring, he’d nodded and agreed. 

Kylo’s class was her one respite from her insane schedule, the chance to relax and tease her boyfriend far too great to pass up. As class was coming to an end, she even dared enough slip a hand beneath the desk, slowly and deliberately sliding her finger along her wet slit. She had to choke back a moan, especially when she saw that  _ he _ saw. She hoped he would punish her tonight. Her arse was already tingling at the idea of his palm landing on it.  

Glowering at her from his seat, Kylo couldn’t help but watch her hand, his lips parting ever so slightly. “Class dismissed,” he announced suddenly, letting them out about ten minutes early. He captured Rey’s eyes as the other students left and he motioned with his chin for her to join them. If she stayed, he was going to fuck her right there on her desk. And the odds of someone walking in would be ever higher. But oh, if he wasn’t going to tease her right back.

Eyes on her back, he pulled his phone from his pocket and opened up the messaging app, typing quickly:

_ <I hope you realize how much trouble you’re in for that little stunt.> _

Rey threw a glance over her shoulder at him just before she exited, smirking wickedly to see him stand up with an incredibly obvious erection straining in his pants. Her mouth watered at the sight. They’d had sex that morning in preparation for whatever temptation being in class together would bring, but she couldn’t resist teasing him. And now she was the one aching, wanting so desperately to sink to her knees before him and make up for the pain she’d caused him with her hands and her mouth. 

< _ Are you going to punish me, Professor?> _

_ <Are you going to spank your little slut for teasing you in front of your whole class?> _

_ <Are you throbbing for me, baby? Do you want to sink that great big cock of yours into my tight, wet pussy?> _

She’d become so much more bold in their months together, and she had no shame. He’d taught her how to voice her wants and desires and she really, really liked seeing his reaction. 

_ <If you act like a slut, you’re going to get treated like one.> _

_ <I don’t know if you deserve my cock right now, sweetheart. Maybe I’ll just jerk off tonight.> _

_ <Perhaps leave you wanting for more the next time.> _

God, the things she did to him. He’d always had a bit of a filthy mouth when it came to sex, but she brought out something darker within him. More commanding than normal, and if he had to put a label on it, they definitely had something of a dom/sub relationship when it came to the bedroom. Not to say that Rey didn't occasionally take control, because she did. But at times like these, they fell into their respective roles and maybe even played them up a bit. 

She choked on a groan to imagine him pumping himself, his large fists moving along his gloriously weeping cock. Maybe he would go back to his office and jerk off now. She hoped he would, just so that he would be ready to fuck her tonight. 

< _ I’ll be such a good girl for you, Professor.> _

_ <Please don’t keep your cock from me.> _

She moved into the closest bathroom, blessedly private, turning the deadbolt behind her and moving quickly to toilet. She only had a half hour between this and her next class, and she needed at least fifteen of those minutes to walk. But she had time for this. She would  _ make _ time for this. 

She tossed her things on the ground and spread her legs wide, already plunging a finger deep inside as she pressed to video call him, headphones already in her ears so she wouldn’t miss a word of his. She fingered herself in shaky movements, angling the phone down so that that would be the image to greet him, her soft moans carrying loudly throughout the little square room. He needed to answer her quickly. She needed to come and get to class. She needed to come with him.  

Phone suddenly ringing in his pocket, he looked down to see a video call waiting. A devilish smile curved his lips as he debated on not answering. He knew she would only be ready to carry on their text conversation when he answered. 

After a long moment of consideration, he finally accepted the call, only to nearly stumble at the sight before him. Dear god, she was a fucking deviant. He bit back a groan at the video of her slender fingers fucking herself. “Rey,” he warned, his voice deep and rough as he hurried to his office. “What do you think you're doing?” He was trying to hide the video from any students while also never tearing his gaze from it. Damn his large hands demanding a large phone with a huge screen. 

“I’m sorry for being a bad girl, Professor. I can be good, see? I’m such a good girl for you,” she whimpered, adding a third finger. There was no way he couldn’t hear the wet sound of her fingers pumping inside of her, so loud and obscene and sure to drive him wild. “Can I see yours, Professor? Please, please let me see that glorious cock of yours. I want to see you touch yourself. Will you touch yourself for me?” 

God damn it, where were his own headphones? The whole campus was sure to hear her. Turning the volume down, he angled it so that she could see his face again as he neared the building that housed his office. “Patience, sweet thing. I can't do that in public, can I?” 

He quickened his steps until he was nearly running through the halls, his face dark with lust and something  _ almost _ like anger. He was never mad at her, but he knew she liked seeing his sexual frustration. Finally, blessedly reaching it, he shut the door quickly, making sure to lock it, and went to rummage in his drawer for a spare set of headphones. Plugging it into the phone jack, he settled in his large leather chair, one hand already undoing the fly on his pants. “Such an eager, dirty little slut, aren't you?” he asked, shoving his pants down around his thighs as soon as his cock sprang free. He kept the camera on his face as he wrapped a hand around himself and pumped a few times, thankful that his office was mostly soundproofed for normal voice levels. 

“Just for you, Professor. I’m just your little slut,” she panted back, jerking a bit as she curled her fingers into her g-spot. “Professor,  _ please _ let me see your cock. I miss it so much. I’m so hungry for it. I wanted to stay behind and suck you off under your desk so badly. You deserved it for putting up with such a slut like me, teasing you like that.” 

Narrowing his eyes at the camera, he pursed his lips before turning the phone down to his cock, and he squeezed his hand around it just a bit, imagining it was her mouth around him instead. “You're going to get a punishment tonight, Rey. Do you understand that? I'm thinking ten this time. You teased me  _ again _ , so you get double the punishment.” Somehow he knew that would be  _ just _ fine with her. “See what you did to me? How am I ever supposed to teach a class like this? This is completely unprofessional. I should have you deep throat me, or maybe…” he paused. “No, that won't do. I might just put it in your ass, though. I haven't decided yet. Would you like me to fuck your ass after I've spanked it raw, Rey?”

She let out a pitiful moan at that, a shiver shooting up her spine at the idea of him penetrating her arse after he’d spanked her. “Maybe you c--could give me my spank-- _ oh!-- _ spankings while you fuck my arse. Professors are s--so busy. Can’t have you wasting to much time with a little slut li--like me.” She was close, so fucking close. Seeing his cock, red and weeping and being pumped so beautifully in his fist, was helping push her even closer. She almost told him that she loved him, but that would ruin the moment. This wasn’t about their love, this was about their unbridled lust for each other, simply made better by their love. 

“Don't,” he growled, forcing the camera back up to his face. “Don't you  _ dare  _ fucking come.” In the little screen in the corner, he could see his own arm still moving, as he hadn't stopped his own movements. “You don't get to come until tonight, until I give you permission.” She'd teased him and now she thought  _ she _ was going to be the one to get off? No way. 

“Kylo!” She whined immediately, her fingers stuttering. “But I--I--!” Even through her lust she knew this was fair, but damnit if it didn’t hurt. She’d teased and taunted him for almost an hour, it was only fair that he deny her her orgasm. God she loved him, every single side of him. She’d never thought she’d enter into a dom/sub sexual relationship, but now that she was she couldn’t imagine it any other way. She was willing putty beneath his strong, dominant hands, dripping from the first command he laid on her. Sometimes he let her be dominant, and it was fun, but she much preferred his low, heavy voice whispering deliciously filthy demands in her ear as she shivered below him in anticipation. 

“Professor, please! I need to--I’m going to come!” she whimpered out, driving her fingers harder. Maybe he’d let her come if she asked nice enough. Sometimes he was merciful. 

But she had a feeling that this would not be one of those times. 

“If you come now, I'm not going to reward you at all tonight. I'll spank you raw and leave you a quivering mess on our bed. I might even tie you down so that you can't touch yourself,” he hissed, already imagining it. It forced him to stroke himself faster, more intensely, already close himself from her sweet voice pleading with him. 

“That’s not-- _ fuck, baby!-- _ that’s not f--f--fair!” she nearly screamed, the images in her head pushing her further and further. That sounded so torturous, so deliciously mean. She almost wanted it, knowing that the orgasm that waited on the other end of that punishment would be life-changing. 

“Kylo, please. Please, baby, please come for me. I wanna see it. I need to see your cock coming for me. Please come for your little slut,” she tempted, knowing that if she could see just one of them coming it would help. She kept pumping herself, knowing she had to wait until he told her to stop, but she lessened her intensity. She was going to come without permission, otherwise. 

He groaned, flipping the phone back around one more time. He was dripping pre-come everywhere, using it as lube as he smeared it back over his length with every pass. “Get your fingers away from that pretty little cunt, sweetheart,” he whispered darkly, his hips bucking up a little into his hand. He was going to come. God, he was going to come, and hard, too. 

He should have known that having sex that morning wouldn't have done a damn thing, but it had at least made their mornings a bit brighter. He didn't need nearly as much coffee now whenever they woke up together. 

She withdrew her fingers reluctantly, allowing the camera to linger on her aching cunt, clenching desperately around nothing at all. She brought the phone up to face her for the first time, allowing Kylo to see how far blown her pupils were, the glazed over lust and the way her lips were plump and parted. Her hand was shaking slightly, her body screaming at her for obeying him and deny it the release it deserved. 

“Can I...please?” she whimpered, holding sopping wet her fingers before her lips.  

He altered the camera slightly so that he could see her face while she could still see him pleasuring himself and he nodded, his voice husky as he said, “Taste yourself, like the good little slut you are.”

As she did, her soft sounds coming through the phone to him, he dropped his head back, moaning softly as his cock began to pulse harder, the sight of her sucking on her fingers doing things to him. He’d actually gone down on her that morning and he  _ knew _ just how good she tasted. But he could grant this request for her. And suddenly, he was coming, thick white ropes of hot spend coating his hand, his cock jerking with each spurt. He’d had to move his hand to capture it before it got on his clothes. Nothing worse than dried come all over his pants or shirt on a university campus. 

The alarm she had set blared in her ears, the time cutting right through the image of his come. She groaned loudly, hating that she needed to hurry up and go. She wanted to play with Kylo more, but if she wanted to play with him forever, she needed to get serious about her studies and get to class.

“What time do you want me home by?” she asked as she moved to the sink to wash her hands. She balanced the phone behind the faucet, unintentionally giving him a lovely view down the front of her blouse as she bent over to wash quickly. 

“Dinner’s at seven,” he told her, feeling a bit better now that he'd had his release. He was only slightly guilty that he hadn't let her come, but it wasn't anything new to her. They'd done it on a few occasions now, and whenever she was finally allowed to, it was usually pretty powerful. “Bring your homework, and that one bit of lingerie I like so much.”

He knew she had to go and he didn't want to keep her from her studies. “Go to class. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” She said, blowing him a quick kiss before hanging up. 

She sprinted across campus but she made it to class. Even though she’d been denied her orgasm, she was feeling light and happy. She was going to conquer this semester and soon she’d get to tease him whenever she wanted. 

_______________

September came and passed and they fell into an easy routine. She spent what weekends she could wrapped in his arms, Daisy and Jax purring on the end of the bed, as well as every other day having dinner with him, at the least. She was still determined to keep up time for her friends, so between studying like a mad woman, she hung out with Jessika and Rose, although most of the time she spent with Rose also entailed studying. Rose was so impressed by Rey’s drive to graduate early that she seemed just as devoted as Kylo to help her along. Rey wished she could get the two together so they could tag team helping her, but that was impossible. 

October was fun, although it was a bit depressing. Rey loved fall and she loved doing fall activities, and she had most enjoyed doing them with her boyfriend at her side in the past. She and Finn went apple picking and orchard traipsing and pumpkin carving and especially hayride...ing. She had wanted so badly to create new memories of those moments with Kylo, always giddy to see him dressed in a sweater and scarf, but she couldn’t. Instead she went with Jessika and Kevin, playing the sad third wheel to their precious couple memories. She did at least pick things up to bring over to Kylo and he did partake in fun fall crafts with her, but it was in the privacy of his home. She couldn’t wait for next fall when she could do every single thing she ever wanted to with him. 

As October came to a close, Rey was faced with a problem that she was so sure had abated: a sudden influx of invites from boys to a frat Halloween party. It had started with Jesse, sweet, kind Jesse, who simply explained that he wanted her to come have fun after seeing her stress so much, and that it was not at all as his date. She’d thanked him and turned him down gently, although she was sure to mention that she valued his friendship and the way he wasn’t trying to get into her pants. But then it happened with another guy she vaguely knew. And another. And another. She was beginning to think that the frat had it out for her, that she was on some sort of a list of girls that they wanted to bang or...something. 

“But that’s insane, right?” Rey asked as she finished her story to Kylo, carrying the salad she had prepped for dinner to the kitchen table. “I mean, that’s the kind of stupid stuff you see in bad teen rom-com’s. It cannot possibly be a real thing. This is all just a weird coincidence.” 

Setting their plates down in their respective places on the table, piled high with chicken breasts and some mashed potatoes and green beans, Kylo shrugged. “Well, cliches are usually based on reality, at least a little bit. When I was in college, Halloween was huge. Our frat house demanded we invite any and everyone, especially all of the cute girls, specifically for the reason of trying to sleep with one.” He’d never been a very sociable person to begin with, usually groaning at the thought of a party with tons of people and driving somewhere far away while the rest of the house got smashed.

“Now,” he said as he straightened and turned to look at her. “Tell me whose ass I get to kick.” Smiling, he kissed her softly, his large hands cupping her face. “No, really. Give me a list.”

“I don’t even know half their names. One was that guy from your class, the blonde boy who sits towards the middle? I don’t really know, I’m usually pretty distracted during your class to notice any other boys,” she said honestly. “They all seem to know  _ my  _ name though. I wonder if it’s because of Jess? Ever since she and Kevin made it official, the constant callers have gone down considerably, but it’s possible that they still remember that we’re roommates and they think that inviting me will cause her to come, too.” 

She sighed, poking at her dinner. “Maybe I should just go. It would make them stop asking me.” 

“Are you asking my opinion or just thinking out loud?” he asked, bumping his knee against hers under the table. He highly doubted she was getting that many invitations just because of Jess. Pretty much the entire school knew she was finally in a relationship now. Maybe her venture into monogamy was rubbing some of her last lovers the wrong way. Possible, but doubtful. “If you want to go, then go. Take Rose with you, if you want. Just be careful. College guys are definitely not to be trusted, _ especially  _ when alcohol is involved.” Technically, she shouldn't even be telling him about the party, with him being a school official and all, but obviously he wasn't going to tell anyone else. Everyone knew the parties happened. As long as the police weren't called, it was an unspoken agreement that they were tentatively allowed. 

“Are you sure you’re comfortable with that? I don’t have to go, but I can’t think of how many more ways I could possibly say no. I swear they have an endless supply of boys available to harass me into coercion,” she said. 

“Comfortable? Not really, but you're a big girl. You can handle yourself without me trying to make decisions for you.  _ If _ you decide to go, just bring some pepper spray or something with you, okay? But don't let them force you to go. You could always stay with me, too, if you wanted.” He wanted to see her as often as possible, but he knew there were only so many nights stuck in his house she could handle. He wanted to go out and do something with her just as badly, but after their encounter with his parents and the run-in with Hux, he was even more afraid of going out in public with her, even if it was in a different city. 

“I have a few days to decide still, I guess,” she shrugged. “Eat your salad, Kylo.” 

The party was being held on a Friday, and she had a 10AM Saturday class, so she really shouldn't go. But when she’d brought it up to Rose, it seemed like the decision was already made for her: Rose really wanted to go but was too scared to go alone, so Rey knew she had to help her friend out. They went to the Halloween store and picked out the last few outfits available (slutty sailor for Rey, slutty Snow White for Rose) and made their way to the party an hour after it was to begin. Rey had texted Kylo her plan to leave before 1AM, only after making sure Rose was either somewhere safe or headed there. She’d need to go back to her own apartment, knowing it would be useless to stay with Kylo when she had class the next morning and she wasn’t going to be getting much sleep tonight anyway. She did, however, promise to see him afterwards. 

They walked into the packed house, the flashing of way too many colored spotters along with far too many Halloween string lights disorienting all on their own. But Rose seemed excited so Rey was happy. They drifted through the massive house, pushing through their fellow students in an attempt to obtain something to make the loud music bearable. Rey got annoyed that her white thigh-high on her left leg was slowly sliding down and she shouted out for Rose to wait for her, but when she straightened up after fixing her issue, she was dismayed to see that the girl was gone. 

“Rose?” Rey shouted out, searching the crowd around her. “Rose!” She tried again. No such luck. 

With a heavy groaned, she pushed through everyone more, determined to find her friend. They weren’t supposed to get separated. It wasn’t safe. They were supposed to watch each other’s backs and drinks all night long. While Rose didn’t know who Rey was in a relationship with, or even that one existed, she did know that Rey wasn’t interested in hooking up with anyone and she had promised Rey to help prevent that from happening. Rose, meanwhile, was happy to meet someone and see where it took her, but Rey was determined to make sure that the guy wasn’t a total wanker first. 

“Rose?” Rey tried again, pushing into the kitchen. 

“Heyyy! Rey, right? Glad you could make it!” Came the words from a very drunk guy dressed in one of the Spartan outfits from the movie  _ 300 _ , spray-on abs and all. “Welcome! Hey, everyone, Rey is here! Wooooo!” 

A chorus of other whoops and hollers went up as he thrust a red plastic cup into her hands, sloshing some of the beer out onto her. 

“Ah shit, sorry, man. Here's a towel,” he said, handing it to her before he raised his own cup over his head and started cheering through the kitchen. 

“Um. Thanks,” Rey replied, grimacing as she mopped up the mess on the costume she literally did not care about. “Have you seen my friend Rose? Cute little thing, about yeigh high, dressed like a fairy tale princess whose skirt got chewed off by animals?” 

“Nope! Sorry, haven't seen her!” he yelled, looking over at her again. “But if you want, we can go look for her. I always loved a lady in uniform.” He offered his arm to her, giving an encouraging tilt of his head as he wiggled his elbow at her. 

“No, thanks, I’m good,” Rey said, waving his offer away before turning and looking for Rose amongst the crowd. Where the hell had she gone? It may have been a big house and there may be a lot of people, but she’d only looked down for five seconds. 

Sidling up closer, he slung an arm around her shoulders, already trying to lead her off further into the house. “Are you suuuuuure?” he slurred slightly. “I'm really good at finding people. Or things.” His hand snaked down the front of her body really quickly, cupping her between the legs.

“Hands off!” she snapped instantly, shoving his hand away. “I have a boyfriend!” 

“Why isn't he here, then? Some boyfriend. You know, I can take your mind off him for a while, if you want. He'd never have to know.” He tried to come in for a kiss, missing his mark slightly to land a sloppy kiss on her bottom lip and the lower half of her jaw.

She shoved him away violently, not at all caring as he knocked back into a group of fellow partygoers, her beer spilling along with it all. She threw him one last glare before she stormed off, still determined to find Rose. If this was what was happening to her, she could only imagine what was happening to someone as cute as Rose. She wiped her mouth with the back of her arm, sneering down at it. That guy was such a creep! 

“You fucking bitch! Learn to take a compliment!” The guy yelled after her before turning to whisper something to one of the guys next to him, shooting one last glare as he accepted a towel and began to wipe the beer off, along with his fake ass abs.

Rey rolled her eyes, muttering under her breath about the uselessness of college boys as she searched for Rose. She let out a relieved sigh to find Rose standing underneath an archway leading to the gameroom, being chatted up by two guys who were also dressed like Spartan’s. Rey had a feeling that it must have been the frats chosen group costume. She wondered if they ever realized just how bad that movie really was, or that they were more than 10 years too late on that hype train. 

“Rey!” Rose cried out excitedly, reaching her hands out for her friend so that she could pull her to her side. “I was so worried! I turned around and you were gone. I was just asking these two nice boys here if they’d seen you.” 

The two frat guys shared a look before one of them spoke, “Yeah, we hadn't seen her, but here she is! Ta-da!”

The other piped up, saying, “Yeah, we wondered if you'd show up or not. Cost me $20. Damn, you're hotter than I thought.”

Rey’s brow furrowed at that. “$20? What do you mean?” she asked, turning fully on him. To complete the outfit, Rose had forced Rey into this ridiculously sparkly pair of platform, 5-inch heels. Rey thought they were stupid and didn't match at all, but at least it helped her look this guy in the eye. “Why did you bet on me?” 

“Uhhhhhhm,” the taller guy said, suddenly looking around the room like maybe the walls held the answer to Rey’s question. “I can't, uhhhh, tell you…”

“Yeah, we can't tell you,” the other agreed, scratching at his chin stubble. “You could always go talk to Alec. He has more info on the down low.”

“Who the hell is  _ Alec? _ ” she groaned. This was becoming way too involved for her. She just wanted to keep Rose safe. Why was the world going insane all around her? 

Against her better judgement, Rey followed the shorter of the two, Rose and the tall one tagging along right behind. Rey felt her heart soften a bit to see Rose smiling adoringly up at this moron, and he seemed just as interested in her. If Rose got laid by a guy she liked, Rey would not consider this night a total loss. 

The shorter guy led the little party up the stairs and into one of the bedrooms, where a bunch of other Spartans were waiting, one of which being the guy from downstairs that had put the moves on Rey. 

“There's Alec,” the taller one said.

“Hey, Reeeeey,” Alec said, coming forward again. “Sorry about earlier, I've had a bit to drink. Didn't mean to just feel you up like that.” He roamed his eyes over her outfit again, lingering at the wet spot on her chest. His eyes just screamed that he was hoping for a wet t shirt contest later. 

“Yeah, well, don’t just put your hands and mouth on girls without their consent.  _ Especially  _ ones who already have a boyfriend who satisfies them just fine,” Rey said, crossing her arms over her chest. “So fess up. What’s this I hear about money on me?” 

He frowned down at her, “Yeah, we placed a bet to see if you'd actually come or not. We knew you and Finn broke up and we wanted to see who could actually bang you, too. But you've got a boyfriend and all that, so…”

“Yes. I have. So you should return the money to everyone, and maybe consider not playing such a misogynistic game in the future.” She turned back to Rose only to see the girl sucking face. Rey was almost impressed. 

Alec sucked in a breath and let it out slowly, shaking his head. “Yeah...I can't do that. Someone’s getting the jackpot, so we can't exactly give it all back.” 

Rey advanced on him, getting right in his face, her hazel eyes set in a hard glare. “If you lay another hand on me, I will kick your arse so hard so you’ll be walking backwards. And you don’t even want to  _ know _ what happens when my Ben finds out.” 

“Ben? Psh. Sounds like a pussy name to me. C’mon, Rey, I bet I could make you come so hard you’ll forget him,” Alec said, a stupid grin on his face that proved how little danger he realized he was in. 

Rey scoffed and rolled her eyes. “I would say I’d like to see you try, but that would be a disservice to all of us. Now go find a girl to fuck who will actually  _ consent _ to the act and leave me alone.” 

She turned to leave and was surprised to feel herself jerked back, a hard grip on her arm nearly giving her whiplash. She was stunned for only a moment, though, and she turned her hips to land a hard punch right across his jaw. Pain shot through her hand immediately, but seeing her would-be assailant stumble back in pain, his bros rushing to his side, helped dull the feeling of it. Shaking her hand out, she turned back to Rose. Rose’s chosen Spartan at least had the decency to look incredibly offended by what had transpired before him. 

“Sorry, Rey. I didn’t think he’d be  _ that _ much of a fuck. He must be a lot drunker than I thought,” he said. 

“If you do anything to this girl that she doesn’t want, expect the same for you,” Rey said, although she could tell by his reaction that the threat was unnecessary. Not all the frat brothers were the same douchebag at Alec and she was glad that Rose found one of those. “I’m going to go home. Are you okay for me to leave?” 

“You’re a badass, Rey!” Rose cheered happily. “I’ll be good. Mike and I were just discussing going somewhere more private anyway.” 

With a quick kiss to the cheek and a wish of safety, Rey left the party behind, pulling out her phone to call Kylo. 

“Hey, sweetie. Can you get a bag of ice ready for me?” she asked when he answered.

Kylo frowned a bit. “Are we celebrating, or is this a medical bag of ice?”

“Medical,” she replied. 

“Do I even want to know?” he asked after a brief moment of silence. 

“Well, you should know that I took care of myself just fine and some jerk of a boy is now going to think twice about putting any of his body parts on a girl who is unwilling,” she answered as neutrally as possible, shivering a bit as she walked. These shoes were stupid and this costume was stupid and the weather channel which had promised an unusually-warm Halloween was stupid. She just wanted to get her cat, bring her to Kylo’s house, and spend the rest of the night warm and comfortable and safe. 

He growled angrily into the phone, “Do I need to come get you? And maybe teach said boy a lesson?”

“I will take you up on the offer of a ride, but, no, you don’t need to teach anyone a lesson. The swelling of my knuckles says that I taught that well enough,” she said proudly. Flexing her hand again, she winced, hissing a bit. “Okay, well, if you’re going to teach any lessons tonight, it  _ might  _ need to be how to properly punch someone.” 

Letting out a small chuckle, he said, “All right, I can do that, at least. Send me the address and I’ll be right there. Shouldn't take me more than ten minutes or so.”

She took a photo of the closest cross street and sent it to him. She didn’t want to go back towards the party and it wasn’t  _ too _ cold as long as the wind didn’t blow. 

“Will you...can you stay on the phone with me? I left Rose inside and I--,” she faltered. She’d been so focused on protecting herself that she was only now realizing how close she had gotten to something much worse. It could have been so easy for the band of Spartans to close the door and barricade her exit, for them to take whatever they wanted from her. Not that she wanted to believe that more than just one of them was a disrespecting arsehole, but now that she reflected on the situation, she realized how quickly things could have gone south. 

“I just need you right now,” she finished in a voice barely above a whisper. 

“Of course, sweetheart. Talk to me, tell me something.” It was a distraction technique, but he didn't want her to think about whatever had happened until he was able to comfort her in his arms. “Have you been looking anymore into your internship?”

“Resistance Motors is located in Coruscant. They’re a top three brand, it would be incredible to have such an opportunity,” she replied, glad that he was helping keep her mind occupied elsewhere. “They’re actually pretty diversified when it comes to positions of power. There are almost as many women holding leadership positions as men, although there is still an imbalance in the creative department. You’ve seen my portfolio, I have so much I could offer them. I’d just love the chance to.”  

“And you will,” he agreed, the sound of an engine roaring through the phone. “Wherever you want to go, we’ll go. You could get any job or position you wanted--your portfolio is extensive, and your work is amazing. I'm so proud of you.”

Her heart swelled at the honesty in his tone. She’d never known anyone who believed in her this much. “We could buy a house somewhere in between the two. I don’t want you to give up on your job, on the university. On your parents.” She knew there was something of a risk involved in bringing up his relationship with them, but some selfish part of her mind wanted parents and if she stayed with Kylo forever, they'd technically be her parents, too. 

She hadn’t told Kylo yet, but she’d run into Leia just last week. It was nearly a carbon copy of when she’d first met Kylo, although this time no one spilled their coffee or ended up on the ground. Leia had been shockingly kind, happy to forget whatever she’d been running off to in order to talk to her sons girlfriend. It was a nice conversation and it had left Rey feeling optimistic. She just needed to find the right time to tell Kylo and now seemed good enough. 

“I ran into your mom the other day. She invited us to dinner, whenever we have time,” she said. 

“Of course she did,” he muttered under his breath. “I'll leave that one up to you. I don't really want to go, but...I will if you want to.”

“Kylo, she misses you. She loves you a lot. She didn’t even say anything like that, but the way her face lights up when she asks about you, the concern she shows, it can’t be anything but. I know it is going to take a long time to repair the damage done by neglect, but she seems to really want to try,” Rey gently persuaded. She didn’t want to force him into anything, this was solely his decision, but she felt a kinship to Leia, somehow, and she wanted to explore it further. 

“She could have shown it when I was a child,” he said shortly. In a way, he was being petty, and he knew that, but she was right. Rey hadn't had a family of her own, and he knew he could give her the chance at loving parents. Even if he never made up with them, he could at least give her that chance.

“All right, fine. We’ll set a time for dinner. I'm almost to you now.” 

She brightened up at that, both dinner and the distance. She looked up excitedly, listening for the familiar engine. “Really? That would be amazing!” 

He pulled up to the curb and she quickly got in, immediately embarrassed to remember that she was wearing a slutty sailor dress. 

“It was all they had left,” she muttered defensively, giving a tug on the skirt that barely covered anything. “And hi.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek. 

“Mhm, sure it was,” he teased back before gently taking her hand to inspect her knuckles. “Yeah, we're definitely going to have to teach you how to throw a punch.” She was lucky she hadn't broken her hand, but her knuckles were going to be bruised for a few days. 

Pulling away from the house, he instinctively headed back for her apartment, either to drop her off or to get Daisy. 

“Did you want me to change before we get back to your house?” she asked. 

Sliding a look at her, he raised an eyebrow before slowly trailing his hand over her exposed knee and up her thigh. “No, keep that on.”

“Aye, aye.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, lovelies! This one took a bit longer to get out because it originally featured a plot point that, after reading your reviews, we decided to remove. It's taking a bit more reworking of the chapters that followed to remove any reference of that moment, so it's going to be some slow go for a little while longer, so please bear with us!!! (in the meantime, we can't seem to stop writing new things as well, so at least there's that??)


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to meet the parents again! But first...

Rey and Kylo were looking forward to spending Thanksgiving together, a moment of rest between all of the grading and studying and stress. Their attempts to meet up with his parents had yielded no results yet, as they were all living the stress of academic life. But now seemed to be the reprieve, as Leia had invited them over for Thanksgiving dinner.

“Are you sure?” Kylo asked, moving around the kitchen, grabbing a few ingredients out of the cabinets. Leia had asked that they bring one dish to dinner, and there was some debate with Rey about what. She wanted to bring sweet potato casserole and he wanted to bring something simple like mashed potatoes, but Rey had given the argument that they wouldn't taste as good not being as fresh, so they'd settled on something different like corn casserole instead. “We don't have to, you know.”

“Kylo, if you’re honestly not comfortable with this, then we don’t have to do it,” she replied, moving the knife carefully down the corn to cut it off cleanly. “But it’s Thanksgiving and you should be with your family and I want to _meet_ the rest of your family and I just...” She set the knife down and turned to face him fully. “I’m ready.”

“Oh _are_ you?” he asked, narrowing his eyes at her, running them slowly along her body, turning to give her his full attention.

“Kylo! We’re cooking. I’m not letting you distract me with sex, this is important,” she scoffed, turning back towards the food. She smirked, though, an excited thrill as always that he wanted her, wanted to have sex with her.  

Eyes darkening at her words, he raised an eyebrow before taking a step closer, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “Is that so?” he breathed quietly, dropping his gaze down to her lips.

She shivered pleasantly at his touch. “Y--yes,” she whispered, her heart rate picking up. She knew that they needed to make this casserole for dinner tomorrow, that the oven was preheated and everything was ready to go, but right now, being dominated by her boyfriend sounded a _lot_ better.

Moving his hand to cup the side of her face, he slid his thumb across her bottom lip, caressing softly. Her lips were so warm and smooth, his eyes absorbing every minute detail about them with a fierce intensity. Moving his digit, dragging it down against her mouth, he enjoyed the way it pulled at her plush lip, revealing more of her to him like a present. He watched his movements, focused and controlled. Moving his thumb back up, he pushed it gently into her mouth before commanding lowly, “Suck.”

She obeyed instantly, closing her soft, wet lips around the smooth digit and immediately sucking it in. She stroked her tongue around it, her eyes fluttering closed as she let out a low moan. She bobbed her head a bit, giving into the motion completely.

Watching her with lust-filled eyes, he zeroed in the way her mouth wrapped around his finger, sucking so expertly. His breath threatened to leave him in a rush, but he couldn't have that. He had to stay calm and composed, at least for a little bit longer. “Where do you want me to fuck you, Rey?” He withdrew his finger slightly to give her some space to answer. “ _How_ do you want me to fuck you? Speak up.”

“Fuck me hard, Professor. Anywhere, everything, just, _please_ , fuck me,” she whimpered. She moved forward to get him in her mouth again, needing to feel any part of him on any part of her.

“There's my needy girl,” he whispered with a dark smile, moving his hand around to the back of her head, using it to drag her in close and keep her in place. He replaced his finger with his tongue as he captured her mouth, kissing her hard and passionate like he'd been wanting to for a while now. He loved hearing her beg and moan for him, and he loved how desperate she felt sometimes, just teetering on that edge until he allowed her to fall over. His other hand slid around to grip her ass, pulling her against him so that he could grind into her stomach.

She practically melted in his arms, fisting at the front of his shirt to pull him closer still. She moaned loudly, cutting off in a little whimper when his tongue massaged hers. She loved the feeling of his hardness pressed into her soft stomach, proving to her his level of love and lust for her. She loved him. He loved her. He could do any number of things to her, ask her any series of deprived tasks, and she’d happily do it, knowing his love her for was behind it all. She moved her hand down the front of him, palming at his cock through his sweatpants. Deciding not to tease him, she slipped her hands down them and grasped him completely, pumping him eagerly. She sucked on his bottom lip, giving it a little nibble, her moans of pleasure filling his kitchen. She didn’t care if he fucked her on the counter at this point, she just needed him.

Making a deep noise into her mouth, his hips thrusted into her hand, missing the feeling of her tiny, quick little fingers around him. He'd missed this, missed her. Gasping, he pulled away from her mouth just a bit, until their lips were just barely touching and they were more breathing into each other than kissing. He was hard and throbbing, pulsing with need for her, the head of him already weeping. He wanted so badly to just push her against the nearest object and take her, but god, there was so much else he wanted to do with her, too. So many decisions, so little time.

“I’m not going to last long if you keep doing _that,_ ” he groaned, pushing his forehead into hers, bucking into her hands again.

“I'm sorry, Professor, but I just need you _so bad,_ ” she whined, slowing her strokes. She swiped her thumb over his head and brought it to her mouth, sucking the salty bead with a low sound in the back of her throat. She loved the taste of him, it was so much better than she ever thought it could taste.

“Tell me what you want me to do,” she pled softly, capturing the corner of her lip between her teeth as she waited, one hand trailing teasingly along the waistline of his pants.

Breathing quickly, he let his eyes drift shut for a moment as he thought before he shivered and then looked at her again. “I want you,” he began, voice low and dark, “to take yourself up to our bed. Take your pants off and get one of your toys out of the nightstand. Maybe that pink dildo. I want you to fuck yourself with that--nice and big to help get you ready for me.”

Rey nodded obediently and practically ran upstairs, heart thundering to obey. She stripped off her pants quickly and crawled onto their bed, sad at having to shoo off a cuddling Daisy and Jax.

“Sorry, guys. You can cuddle with us later. Mummy and Daddy need the bed,” she said, closing the door behind them to prevent reentry.

She made her way back to the bed and opened the nightstand, fishing out her pink toy. She checked quickly to make sure it was charged before sliding on some lube and turning it on the lowest setting. She laid back on the bed, moaning softly as she teased herself with it. She slid it up and down her slit, careful to avoid too much attention to her clit. She pumped it into of herself a few times before sliding it up and down again, repeating this tantalizing motion as she wanted for her lover to join her.

Smirking, he turned off the oven (a house fire was the last thing they needed) and followed her slowly up the stairs, dragging his hand along the railing as he went. As he rounded the corner, he saw two figures crouched outside the bedroom door, one black and the other gray. Of course they'd want back into the one room currently off limits to them. He stooped down and scratched them both behind the ears before using his foot to gently nudge them away enough so that he could slip inside and shut the door behind him.

Safely inside, he leaned against the door, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his sweats as he simply observed her, watching the way she pleasured herself. Sometimes, he just liked watching, sitting across the room with his cock in hand while she fucked her dildo. He didn't know why it was such a turn on--maybe because he knew without a doubt that she was imagining it was him instead, maybe it was because he _could_ get up at any moment and replace it with himself--whatever the reason, he liked it. A lot.

His cock was still straining against his pants, showing its own excitement at the scene before him. She was laid out so prettily, her soft sounds music to his ears. He held her eyes before drifting them down across her stomach and finally to where the toy was currently moving in and out of her, glistening in the warm light from the lamp on the nightstand.

Maybe he'd join her on the bed and help her, his large hand wrapping around the silicone, pumping it in and out of her, angling it just right. “Make yourself come,” he instructed, pushing away from the door to stand at the edge of the bed for a better view. The toy wasn't as big as him, but it was long and still thick, capable of bringing her pleasure all the same. He wanted her a writhing, panting mess before he got started with her.

He knew she liked it when he watched her finger herself, as evidenced by their video calls. Did it turn her on even more knowing that there was someone witnessing the intimate way she drove this object into her soaking pussy?

His pulse was racing, his hands tightening at his side to resist touching himself or her. He'd get to it...when she was done. “I’m going to fuck you, Rey,” he told her again, watching the dildo disappear into her body over and over. “You're going to take the whole thing and beg me for more. I won't be gentle. I'll pin your hands above your head, leave you unable to move, and you'll be aching for my come.”

She whimpered at that, her cunt clenching tightly around the toy at the promise in his words. The dark look in his eyes sent a thrill through her, edging her that much closer to her orgasm. She wanted it to be him between her legs but knowing that he was watching what she was doing was almost just as hot. She kicked up the vibration from the lowest to the highest, letting out a high-pitched sound as it drove her closer still. When she saw him lick his lips, a move he was probably barely conscious of, she screamed out for him, her body bowing as she came like a good girl.

Smiling slightly, tracking her body where it lifted away from the bed, Kylo quickly removed his clothing, tossing them into the hamper easily. “Good girl, you're such a good girl,” he murmured, kneeling on the bed. Running his hands along her ankles, he made his way further up to her calves and gripped them, suddenly jerking her legs apart to make room for himself between them. Wrapping his hand around the silicone toy, he gave a few more strokes of it before removing it altogether, throwing it aside to land against the bed.

Encircling his fingers around her wrists, he lifted them over her head and moved so that he held them there with one hand, at the perfect level to look into her eyes. His free hand drifted along the side of her face, down her throat to ghost across her breasts through her shirt, grabbing slightly until he went lower still to find the hem of her shirt and lift it. His finger brushed across the skin of her stomach softly, tracing her navel as he marvelled at how smooth her skin was.

She sighed happily as the feeling of his fingers stroking her so reverently, melting so easily for his touch. “Please, Kylo, show me who I belong to. Dominate me.”

“Dominate you, what?” he asked, lowering his mouth down to nip at her ear. “Is that what you're supposed to call me?” Applying more pressure to her wrists, he trailed his lips along her jaw and down her throat, nibbling before giving a slightly harder bite on the side of her neck in warning.

“P--professor,” she moaned out, tilting her head back to give him better access. “Dominate me, _Professor Ren._ ” She wanted so badly to thread her hands through his hair, but he was holding her hands so wonderfully tight and she was a good girl and she would obey.

Smirking, he lifted her shirt up even more, pushing it up enough to settle just over the top parts of her breasts, leaving her exposed to him. He pinched her nipple, giving it a firm tug before he moved his mouth lower and wrapped his tongue around it to soothe the roughness on such a sensitive area, dragging his teeth along the hard bud before lifting his head to kiss back up to her lips. It was hard and deep, consuming with its intensity, and he only broke away to release her hands for a quick moment to grab her by the hips and flip her over onto her stomach.

He promptly captured her hands again and forced them back above her head, using his weight to help keep them pinned. Maybe he should just grab a tie or a scarf to bind her, but there was something more intimate about just using his hands, his body draped across her back, his breath on the back of her ear as he whispered, “Remember, you're going to take the whole thing, aren't you?”

“Yes, Professor. I’ll be such a good girl for you and take every inch of your long, thick cock,” she nodded, arching herself further against him. She ground herself into him excitedly, wiggling her plump arse against the hot appendage in question, feeling it sliding between her cheeks tantalizingly.

His hand came down quick against her ass, and he growled against her ear, “So eager--didn't you learn anything about patience?” Using his knee to spread her legs further apart, he dipped his body down to rub against her even more, coating himself in her wetness. Without warning, he sank into her in one harsh thrust, setting a savage pace as his hand tightened around her wrists. His other one found its way into her hair and he pulled, hard, tilting her face to one side to take in every single expression on her face.

“This cunt--” he panted, “belongs to me. _You_ belong to me, Rey. Will you--” Fuck, he'd almost broken character by asking her a _very_ important question, when this was most decidedly _not_ the time. “--come again for me?” he asked after a moment, hoping she hadn't noticed his slip. “Have that pretty pussy come all over my cock, sweetheart.”

Rey’s heart skipped a beat as she wondered if he had almost… “ _Yes!”_ she sang out, immediately distracted by the way he was pounding into her g-spot with single-minded determination. “Professor, _fuck,_ just. Like. That! I’m gonna come, I'm gonna come, I'm gonna _come!”_

She squeezed her eyes shut at the same moment as her cunt squeezed around his cock, her mouth popping open in a silent scream as the sensation rocked her body. She strained in his hold, wanting to roll away from him so she could ride out her orgasm in peace, but he held her firmly, pounding into her as if she hadn’t just stunted his pace. She thanked whatever gods there were that he had _incredible_ stamina.

“We’re not done yet,” he growled, pressing her further into the bed so she couldn't move. She had at _least_ one more in her, he knew. Knowing this stimulation was quite enough for her, he pulled back and set her on her hands and knees. His own body was slick with sweat, even in the cool, almost-winter air that drifted in from the cracked window in the bedroom.

Taking one of her hands instead, he guided it down the front of her body and used her own fingers to rub at her clit as he pushed back into her, feeling just how much more wet she was after her orgasm. “That's it,” he whispered against the base of her neck, turning his head to kiss her shoulder. “Just like that.”

“Professor!” she whined, twitching as her shaking fingers were pressed to her clit. She turned her head to nuzzle at him, whimpering so prettily as he pushed her fingers harder against her body. It was almost too much, her entire body twitching with each rotation, pressing her arse up into him and causing him to jerk harder against her g-spot, but she loved it. It was the sweetest form of torture, and she’d long since decided that if she was going to die from pleasure, it wasn’t the worst way to go.

“Are you gonna come for me?” she asked in a voice close to breaking. She gave a tiny yelp as he changed the pattern he was forcing her to rub over herself. “Are you gonna fill this pretty pussy up? Fuck, Professor, are you gonna make me drip with your come, too full to hold it all in?”

Groaning in response, he nodded and said, “Yes I am, and anything that comes out, I'm going to shove it back in there, and you're going to keep it, because _that's_ where my come belongs.” He slammed into her a few more times before his rhythm started to become uneven, frantic and erratic. He pushed his last two strokes as the hardest yet, before finally bottoming out against her, his whole body going rigid as tremors ran up and down his body from the sheer power of his orgasm.

“Fuck, fuck, _fuck!”_ He moaned, his cock giving the last few spurts inside of her. He could feel it already trying to leak out from around him to slide down her thighs. “God damn, I fucking love you,” he panted, pushing his hair out of his eyes.

She gave an exhausted smile, feeling so deliciously sated. “I love you, too, Kylo.” Feeling a trickle of his come slide down the inside of her thigh, she shivered. “Are you still on board with...trying in a month?”

Pressing his lips to her shoulder, he trailed them up to her neck and then back down before pulling away from her to lay on his side next to her, head propped up in his hand. “I am, if you are. I want to make an appointment, just to make sure everything is good for you to stop taking your pill, and any advice they might have, if that's okay.”

He wanted to take every precaution to make sure that nothing happened. He'd be watching her like a hawk, too, to make sure she was eating enough. Anything that looked remotely heavy or dangerous, he was going to take care of, as well.

“Sounds reasonable enough,” she nodded.

She smiled softly to imagine Kylo holding a baby, _their_ baby. Anything looked tiny in his large hands, and a baby would be even moreso. She was already melting to think of him, so large and looming, with something so small and fragile that was half him, holding it tenderly in his arms. Would he sing to their baby? She caught him singing under his breath here and there, and she had learned quickly to not point it out or he’d immediately stop. It was a shame, too, since she loved the sound of his voice. She had tried to convince him of this but he’d just blushed harder and clammed up tighter.

“I’m really happy that we’re doing this,” she said. “All of this, I mean. Spending this holiday together, planning for our future together, just, all of it. I’m really happy that I have you.”  

Humming in agreement, he rolled onto his back and pulled her up so that he could drape her over him, adjusting her leg so that it was tucked in between his. “I'm happy to have you, too. Just one more month and this will all be behind us.”

He glanced around the room, taking in all of the items that belonged to her. She had her bras hanging from the bedroom door, and she’d even framed a photo of them together and placed it on the nightstand, having the same photo at her own apartment. That way when they had to spend nights apart, they could look at those photos before going to bed, she'd explained. He appreciated the gesture, even though they video called each other basically every time they had to be apart right before bed. He couldn't wait for the day when it was a normal occurance for them to be together everyday.

She also kept her robe in the bathroom, along with several more changes of clothes (honestly, nearly half her wardrobe was probably here by now). “I wanted to ask you something…” he began, chewing on his cheek as he moved his gaze up to the ceiling.

Rey’s heart immediately began to race, her mind jumping right back to the question she was almost sure he was going to ask when they’d been in the throes of passion. But she had to keep that excitement down. There was no way he was proposing...right?

“Yes?” she replied softly, gazing up at him with open curiosity.

Taking a deep breath, he asked, “How long is too soon after you graduate to ask a very important question?” He wanted to ask her now, but they couldn't, technically. Well, could he? Maybe. Being engaged would be okay, right? It wasn't legally binding like marriage would be, so it wouldn't give them away. But he didn't even have a ring yet. It would be tacky to ask her to marry him right now if he didn't even have a ring.

She immediately popped up onto her elbows, eyes even wider as she hovered next to him. “There’s no such thing as too soon for important questions, Kylo. You know that, you’re a professor. Important questions demand important answers and should be asked whenever the asker feels it’s time. It is time, isn’t it?” She was rambling, she knew she was rambling, but her heart was racing and she couldn’t believe he’d partially proposed. She was going to die of happiness!

“I don't know,” he smiled slightly, teasing. “Would you turn me down if I asked? Because I am--asking.” Wow, what a lame proposal. Turning his head to look at her, he turned serious again. “Will you marry me, Rey Niima? When all of this is over and done?”

Rey fell back to the bed, her heart having burst into a million pieces. She couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled past her lips, her head feeling light as air. Was this real? Had he actually just proposed? Oh, _oh_ she was supposed to answer!

“Yes! Oh my god, _yes_ , Kylo Ren! I’ll marry you! I’ll marry you so hard. I love you, I love you so much. I can’t believe it!” she gushed, popping back up to rain kisses over every inch of him that she could reach. “Oh my god, we’re going to have to call your mother. We have to call Jess, too! Oh god, I’ll have to wait to tell Rose, but I hope she will forgive me. You’re serious, right? You really want to do this? Oh my god, I can’t believe we’re going to do this! I’m engaged!”

Grinning from ear to ear at her enthusiasm, he kissed her back whenever he got a chance, her own movements making his sloppy and chaste. “I'll get you a ring, of course, but yes, I really want to do this. I want _you,”_ he whispered fiercely. “For as long as you'll have me. I think we should probably wait on telling anyone, though. I'll propose to you properly, with everyone in attendance. Just don't change your mind between now and then,” he laughed. “Because once that ring is on your finger, you can't take it off.”

“I’d never take it off,” she promised instantly, her face very serious. “Except for proper cleaning and inspections twice a year and whenever I take a shower, of course.” She then smiled again, so elated. “But honestly, Kylo, I don’t care if I ever have a ring. I just want you. I’m so happy that I have you and now I will have you forever.” She leaned over him and kissed him softly, soundly. Her brow then furrowed as another thought occurred to her. “So, are we getting married after we have our baby, then? Because you did just say that we can still try next month.”

“Uhm,” he faltered for a moment. “We could always just elope right after you graduate…” he offered, already knowing it would piss all their friends and family off. “I really hadn't gotten that far in my planning, to be honest.” He shrugged slightly, sighing a moment later. “We can always just see what feels best for the time being. There's no guarantee you'll get pregnant right away, either. We could be trying for a while. _Lots_ of practice.” He winked at her then, wrapping his arms around her shoulders to tug her back down into him.

“I want to marry you _now._ I hate waiting. I feel like I’ve done nothing but wait my whole life,” she sighed, nuzzling up under his chin. “Elopement is okay with me. I never dreamed of a big wedding and all of that. I only have a small handful of friends and no family, so it’s not like I need the big, fancy ceremony. But I would still like a pretty dress.”  

“Whatever you want, sweetheart,” he promised with a kiss to her forehead. “Whatever dress you want, whatever venue, or lack thereof. We _could_ always do it Friday...Black Friday? That sounds a bit ominous, don't you think?” Maybe Black Friday was a terrible day to get married.

“I don’t think courthouses are open on Black Friday, sweetie,” Rey said, smiling at his enthusiasm now. “I’m just whining. I know we can’t logically get married until after I graduate. We’d be in hot water if anyone found out. I’m enrolled in your class, after all. Also, is it my imagination or does Hux seem to love to linger by your class all the time? I swear he’s walked by me in the quad more times than I can count, always...smirking at me like he knows. Why does he have such a vendetta against you, against us?”

“He's a stickler for rules. And his pride is hurt that Holdo turned him down, once, nearly ten years ago. And he can't get Phasma either. So he takes his celibacy issues out on everyone else. Mainly, it's the rules, though. I'm surprised he's let us go on this far without sticking his nose in even more. I did try to talk to him after he caught us with Daisy, but he just pushed it aside like it didn't matter.” A thought occurred to him, then. “I want you to be able to experience everything that comes with being engaged. I want you to have a bachelorette party, and have Jess and Rose help you pick a dress and everything. I want you to _enjoy_ it.”

“Hux can suck an egg,” she muttered darkly, tightening her hold on her fiance's chest. She loved that word. Fiance. Kylo was her fiance. “I don’t need any of that stuff, Kylo. I wouldn’t even know what to do. Our wedding is only about us, about me and you and the love we feel for each other. I’m fine if you want to invite you parents or anyone else, I don’t mind, but in the end, all I really care about is that you’re the person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.” She then smiled. “That being said, I’m not against having a nice celebratory party with any friends or family we want. We can have a private ceremony, just the two of us, and then have a reception with anyone and everyone else that we love. But I’ll do whatever you want. We’re partners forever.”

“All right,” he smirked again. “What if we do it the day after you graduate? Just us. No muss, no fuss.” It was pretty appealing, honestly. Not having to worry about the thoughts of anyone and their potential disapproval. His parents had warmed up a lot, and Leia gushed about Rey every chance she got, even apologizing again for her initial reaction. “A quick twenty minutes in the courthouse and then it's forever.” What kind of ring would she want? “Do you want to go pick a ring with me?”

“No! Surprise me,” she replied immediately. “And I’m going to surprise you with yours, too. I'm going to keep it hidden until the ceremony.” She smiled again, feeling another excited thrill race through her. “Ceremony. Oh my god, Kylo, we really are going to get married. In a month! Maybe I will ask Jess to go dress shopping with me. She loves any reason to dress up, she won’t suspect a thing.”

“In a month...if my mother doesn't kill us first for not bringing anything to dinner tomorrow. We better get back down there.” Sitting up with her, he hugged her tightly for a moment, squeezing just a little bit more. She was his fiancee now, and soon to be his wife. Just one more month. They just had to pretend for one more month and then they were home free.

____________

Thanksgiving with the Organa-Solo’s was an interesting, loud affair. She almost spilled the beans the moment they walked in the door, her heart still bursting to know that the man who stood next to her holding a casserole wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. But they’d agreed to keep it as quiet as possible until after their elopement. Plus, there was still the matter of Han and Leia not exactly approving of the relationship as it was. But Kylo and Rey knew that the invitation to Thanksgiving was a step in a positive direction, so it seemed like this strained relationship could possibly, finally be on the mend.

As it turned out, Leia had a twin brother named Luke who was something of a hermit, living on a remote island in Scotland and only coming home for the holidays this year because Kylo finally was. Han invited his best friend Charles, whom everyone called Chewie, and explained to Rey that Chewie practically raised him. Chewie was a world traveler and had endless stories to tell...that Rey could hardly understand buried under a thick, undefinable accent and an even thicker beard. But everyone else seemed to understand him just fine and by the time pie was passed around, she found that she, too, could pick up some words here and there and piece it all together. There was also another friend of Han’s, an overly-dressed man named Lando who didn’t seem to miss a moment to hit on Leia or Rey, earning scornful looks from their men even as everyone laughed, Leia explaining to Rey that Lando meant no harm, he just liked telling beautiful things they were beautiful.

Rey also observed that they all seemed to unanimously be cat people. Luke had brought along a loud and demanding gray ball of fluff they called Artoo, while Leia and Han had a sleek golden tabby named Threepio who was the snottiest cat Rey had ever encountered, until he warmed up to her after an hour. He seemed to like to boss Artoo around, while Artoo swatted back at him and chirped at everyone else to give him attention. Rey wished they would have brought along Jax and Daisy to join in the cat fun.

“You have some whipped cream right there, baby,” Rey said, leaning over to swipe her finger in the corner of her fiance's mouth. She smirked at him as she sucked it off, her hand massaging his thigh as she held his gaze. She'd been tempting and teasing him all meal long, unable to keep her hands to herself ever since he proposed. She knew she _should_ behave, especially in front of his family, but how could she not want to touch her future husband forever and ever?

Dr. Leia Skywalker Organa-Solo was not a blind woman by any means and she knew that _something_ had shifted between her son and his girlfriend. She’d observed them from time to time on campus, seeing the way they kept a respectful distance when walking together (always in a group with others) or talking together. But even in private they were better at keeping their hands off and behaving like they were in front of the watchful, scrutinizing eyes of parents and other such knowledgeable adults. There was something different, though, in the way Ben looked at Rey, and she seemed to be looking at him with a sparkle in her eye that spoke of…

“Han, you need to have a talk with your son,” Leia whispered urgently, squeezing her husband's knee.

“Huh? What? Why do I need to talk to him? And why are you whispering?” Han asked, making no attempt to keep his own voice down.

Kylo frowned slightly at Rey, sharing a look before he turned back to his mother and father. “What for?” he asked cautiously.

Leia glared at Han for not keeping his mouth shut, digging her nails into his knee in retribution. “Rey, will you help me clear the table?”

“Yes?” Rey replied, looking at Kylo for some sort of a sign. Her heart was in her stomach as she wondered what Kylo and his father needed to discuss. She had a feeling she already knew.

Leia sent Han a quick text, nudging him as she indicated at his phone.

_ <They are either pregnant or engaged or both. Talk. To. Your. Son!> _

“Oh boy,” Han whistled under his breath, reading the phone. “All right. Maybe we should take this out to the porch, huh, kid?”

Kylo eyed Rey and Leia for a moment before he got up and headed outside with his father. Han came outside a moment later, clicking the door shut behind him.

Kylo watched the steam clouds that formed with each breath, his hands in the pockets of his trousers for warmth. “So…?” he asked curiously, staring out into the woods that surrounded his parent’s house. He hadn’t really spoken to his father since the dinner they’d inadvertently shared and now this just seemed...awkward.

“So I'll just say it--you know how subtle I am. Your mom thinks you're either expecting a baby or engaged. So out with it.” Han leaned against the railing and looked over at his son, cocking his head curiously.

Well, fuck. Apparently they were pretty obvious about their new status, even without a ring. “Oh. Uhm…” he hesitated, unsure just how much information he was going to give up before speaking with Rey. Well, it seemed like Leia had figured it out already (damn she was quick), so why not. “Yeah, we’re engaged,” he finally said.

“Engaged? To the kid? Ben that’s…” Han sighed, running a hand through his hair. He saw the way Ben’s jaw twitched and he decided to change tactics, not wanting to risk a shouting match with his son so soon after they’d wrestled him back into the family. “No ring? You've gotta have a ring,” he attempted, even if he knew it wasn’t exactly the most helpful thing to say. He at least hopes it sounded supportive.

“I just asked her last night, dad. I wasn't even expecting to--it wasn't planned or anything. Just felt right,” Kylo mumbled, shaking his head, even though he had a smile on his face at the mere thought of Rey. “I'm getting her a ring soon.”

“Good. You have to have a ring,” Han reiterated before turning to him fully. “Are you sure about this? What if--”

“Stop,” Kylo commanded, holding a hand up for emphasis. “I've never been more sure about anything in my life. I love her, she loves me, and she's nearly done with classes. I think we can handle being engaged for her last month before we get married.”

“I'm happy for you, Ben, I really am,” Han said, and for once, Kylo didn't protest the use of his former name. What if he changed it back? Would it be strange for Rey to call him something else? “It’s easy to see how much she means to you,” the older man continued, his eyes shining slightly with tears.

“She's everything,” Kylo agreed, moving closer to lean against the railing as well. He could see a few deer wandering through the trees, trying to keep warm against the chilly November air. They looked so free, their cares limited down to finding food and avoiding predators.

“Good for you, Kid,” Han said, coming forward to clap his son on the back. “Good for you.”

__________

“I know we got off to a rocky start, Rey, but I want you to know that you can come to me for anything,” Leia said as she scrubbed a dish.

“Thank you,” Rey said, blushing furiously as she dried the proffered dish. _She knows. She knows she knows she knows._

“If you need anything at all, you can always ask. Advice, money, a doctor's visit…” Leia trailed off, looking expectantly at Rey’s face first before her stomach.

Rey flushed crimson. “I’m not pregnant, Leia,” she said kindly but firmly.

“But you are engaged,” Leia stated simply.

Rey had no reason to lie to her, especially as she wanted so badly to have a good relationship with her. “Yes. Since last night.”

“And he didn’t buy you a ring!? Jesus, Benjamin, I thought I raised you right,” Leia muttered darkly, attacking a plate with a sponge.

“I think it was entirely unplanned,” Rey smiled. “It was sweet and romantic and I don’t really even know if I want a ring. I just want him.”

Leia smiled at that, reaching out with a wet hand to grasp Rey’s. “That’s what every mother wants to hear, but you’re getting a ring. I will make sure if I have to buy it myself. And congratulations, dear. I am very happy to hear that you two make each other that happy.”

“So am I,” Rey replied with a smile. “Kylo is...well, he’s my everything. He’s stuck me through so much this last year that I’m honestly surprised he even wants me anymore.”

“I raised him and I have never seen him look so happy or content save for when he is with you. That boy has been smitten with you probably from the moment you met. Which reminds me, I still have no idea how that was,” Leia said.

“Now that’s a story I want to hear!” Luke chimed in, coming around the island of the kitchen. He’d been lying about with Chewie and Lando, having already done their duty and parceled out the leftovers. “He’s your professor, right? Like father, like son.”

“He wasn’t when we met!” Rey immediately rushed to clarify. “He actually...well, we ran into each other in the quad and he spilled his coffee on me. That was our first meeting. We met again later that week and I thanked him for smoothing things over with the professor whose class said spill made me late for. We saw each other a few more times before we actually got together, which coincidentally was just after I had registered for his class. But every other English class that worked with my schedule was full so I couldn’t switch, although eventually I did drop it.” She left out the why, of course. She didn’t need his family knowing about her misfortunes of the last year.

“Go figure that someone like Ben would meet his girl in the most rude way possible,” Luke snorted. “But hey, I guess I can’t knock it too hard. And at least he wasn’t your professor _first_ , unlike certain sisters who made the rest of the semester _very_ awkward for me.”

“Oh please. As if you were really going to pass it without my help, anyway,” Leia scoffed, rolling her eyes.

At that moment, the door to the porch slid open and Han and Kylo stepped back inside. Rey went to Kylo’s side immediately, warming his cold hands in her warm ones.

“Han! You wouldn't have failed me, right?” Luke asked, rounding on his friend and brother-in-law.

Han shrugged, moving to wrap his arm around his wife and kiss the top of her head. “Let’s just say that you’re lucky I was banging your sister.”

“Han!” Leia snapped.

“Hey!” Luke groaned.

“Oh my god,” Kylo laughed, immediately moving across the room to pull Rey into him. “Why am I related to this family?”

He shook his head, kissed hers, and then the group made their way out to the spacious living room to watch the football game. The rest of the night passed without much incident, even when Leia pulled out the remainder of the wine from dinner and everyone sipped their glasses while cheering for a team. Kylo didn’t necessarily care about sports, but he was still trying to get along with the family and sulking about whatever was on television wasn’t going to help, so he tried. He was probably the quietest person in the room whenever a touchdown was scored, but no one seemed to mind. The rest of the time was spent with Rey tucked under his arm, stroking her stomach from the amount of food she’d eaten. He liked seeing her eat--it made him happy to see her taken care of, and he had a flashback to when she’d been surviving solely on the muffins he’d brought her.

This was perfect, he thought. He wouldn’t mind spending more days like this, surrounded by people he loved, even if relationships had been strained in the past. One day, he and Rey would be hosting Thanksgiving at their house with their children and their spouses coming to visit. Yeah, he could definitely get used to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you endlessly to everyone who has stuck with this one!!! The finish line is in sight! YAY!


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey visits her professor one last time.

It was hard to focus on her finals with everything else happening around them, but Rey had the best reward waiting at the other end so she dedicated her every free moment to it. They had gone to a doctor the week before, Kylo insistent on being present for her exam. Dr. Kalonia had reassured them that Rey was in fine health and the chances of a woman suffering a second miscarriage were low. She issued a fertility test on them both, Kylo having suddenly panicked that he may be a kink in their plan, and promised to let them know the results as soon as possible. She left them with parting advice on tracking Rey’s cycle and the best sexual positions and after-practices to ensure the pregnancy. Kylo had taken Rey immediately to the pharmacy to get the prenatal vitamins Dr. Kalonia had prescribed. Rey was elated that he was behind this was much as he was. She couldn’t wait to start their family.

As predicted, Jessika hardly batted an eyelash when Rey asked that they go to a bridal store to try on dresses “just for fun”. Jessika was still incredibly head-over-heels for Kevin and she jumped at the chance to play bride for a day. Rey even invited Rose along, to sell the illusion of having a girls day for the sake of de-stressing during finals as well as the general want of spending time with the girl. Rose was upset that she still hadn’t met “the infamous Ben” and Rey promised that she could meet him after the new year, seeming to soothe the other girl enough.

The girls spent the afternoon trying on a mix of bridesmaids dresses as well as wedding dresses, deciding that Jessika was the bride-to-be and Rey and Rose were her bridesmaids, and that trying on wedding dresses at the same time was the easiest way to see as many choices as possible in a limited amount of time. Their assigned sales associate was sweet and easy-going, resigned early on that she wasn’t going to get a commission out of them but deciding that the conversation and fun she was having with them was worth it. When Rey returned an hour before close to purchase the dress that she’d fallen the most in love with, the girl had squealed with delight to hear about the secret, “forbidden” romance, complete with a whirlwind engagement and fast-approaching elopement.  Rey had had to hide the garment bag from Jessika’s watchful eyes when she returned home with their late-night dinner (she’d purposefully picked a restaurant near the bridal shop so that it wasn’t too suspicious) but Jessika had been too lost in her notecards to pay Rey too much mind.

When Rey turned in her last final, her professor had congratulated her on all of her hard work and her advisor had expressed how impressed he was with her tenacity. Each of her professors had written her glowing recommendation letters, and her favorite of them, Professor Snap Wexley, had even called one of his connections with Resistance Motors to see what he could find for her. Snap gave her a wink and a smile as he handed over her letters, Rey immediately noticing that the one addressed to RM was longer and detailed her many accolades at school. She brushed away a tear as she thanked him and he reassured her that he wanted to do whatever he could to see an amazing woman like her dominate the field. It was high time, Snap had said. He would see her as an executive yet.

As she left the Engineering Building for the very last time, a thought occurred to her. She wasn’t technically a student anymore. Her classes were all done. Her grades would be submitted any day now and she would walk across that little stage on the gym in just over a weeks time, degree in hand and a wedding moments away. Recommendation letters safe in her bag, she hoisted it up her shoulders and practically sprinted across campus, mindful of the ice and snow around her.

Rey knew his schedule by heart and she knew that he had issued his last final this morning. He’d be in his office right now, beginning to grade papers. Others would probably be in his hall, doing the same. Hux would even be there, four doors down. But she didn’t care. She wanted to celebrate finishing college, her upcoming graduation and marriage and possible pregnancy. She wanted to see her fiance. She wanted to fuck in his office one last time.  

He'd just settled down to start grading, coffee close by, his trusty red marker hanging from his mouth, when he heard the knock at the door. It opened a moment later, and she stuck her head in. “Rey,” he said in surprise, eyebrows raised as he quickly took the marker from his mouth. “Everything okay?” She rarely visited him in his office, not wanting to arouse suspicion.

He stood up a moment later, ushering her inside as he closed the door behind her.

She unwound her scarf from around her neck, draping it on the hook on the back of his office door before then going for her coat. She didn’t even hesitate as she reached next to remove her jumper.

“How’s grading going, baby?” she asked, pulling off her tank top next.

Blinking at her for a moment, watching her undress, he locked the door before quickly moving to the desk to gather up the finals. He'd had a teacher’s aide put sticky notes over all the names so he wouldn't be grading anything unfairly (Rey’s paper). Tucking them into the filing cabinet, he turned back to her a moment later and shrugged. “Don't know yet--I was just about to start.”

Gliding toward her, he placed his hands on her hips and kissed her softly in greeting before asking, “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“Pleasure, in fact,” she smiled at her own cleverness. She moved to next slide her leggings down, having toed off her shoes while removing her shirts. She slid her hands up his legs as she stood back up, immediately going for his pants as she stood before him in nothing but her bra and underwear. Part of her was still sad that she had not planned this in advanced so she wasn’t in one of her cute matching sets, but he’d long since seen all of the sexy things she owned and she knew he got just as hard for the matching things as much as the mismatched.

“I wanted you to fuck me one last time in your office before it was no longer taboo,” she whispered lowly, freeing him of his pants.

Raising his eyebrows, he looked down at her for a moment before glancing over her shoulder to his desk. They'd had a conversation once about how he'd fucked Jessika on that same desk, and he didn't want that memory to pop up for her as well. She was nothing like Jessika and he didn't want to have this come around to bite him in the ass later. “Are you sure?” he asked, even as his fingers played with the band of her panties, sliding them just a little lower.

“Absolutely. But this time, we are doing it a bit differently,” she replied with a devilish smirk. She stepped out of her underwear and helped him step out of his, pulling him by his tie back towards the desk. Once she pushed him back into his chair, she turned around and carefully climbed up, tucking her feet on either side of his hips and she wiggled her arse in his face, sliding slowly down to where his cock was already hard and getting harder. She knew his chair back had a generous recline, which would definitely help with this. Gripping at the edge of the desk to steady herself, she finally sank down onto him, letting out a long and low moan as he filled her up. She didn’t always like facing away from him while they had sex, but something about his breath in her ear drove her wild and she excitedly gave a quick, experimental thrust.

Watching her back, he settled his hands on her hips, to help her or steady her, he didn't know. Gasping softly as she engulfed him, he leaned against the chair, his head falling back as she moved. “Fuck, Rey,” he breathed, knowing they had to keep the noise level down. The room was pretty sound proofed, but they both tended to be _very_ vocal, and they really didn't need an entire hallway filled with other professors hearing anything.

“So devious,” he whispered, moaning quietly as he arched his hips up into hers, using his hands to grind her down against him.

She smirked, rolling her hips down on top of him. “Just for you, Professor.”

She had to bite her lip as he brushed her g-spot, doing her best to stay quiet. The idea of getting caught was sexy as hell, but the actual act of it would fuck them both over, and hard. But she liked making noises for him, because she knew he liked hearing them. She moaned lowly again, nails biting into the wood as a shiver of pleasure raced up her spine.

“Fuck me just like that, Professor. I love having you huge cock fill my little pussy up. I love riding that dick so much. Please, fuck me harder,” she whimpered in a whisper, bouncing a little faster.

Panting behind her already, pushed further by her dirty mouth, he reached blindly for the handle on the side of the chair until it fell back and he with it. Now at a better angle, he did as she asked, able to get the right leverage now to pound up into her, the angke just right for him to hit her g-spot head on, over and over again.

“Come on my cock, you dirty little slut,” he rasped. “Take my come like a good girl and you've earned a passing grade.” Well, that was a new one for him, but whatever. He went with it.

She gasped at the change of angle, and then again at where he’d taken her dirty talk. They never roleplayed their actual life outside of her calling him by his occupation. She’d tried to goad him into it once, but he’d argued that he would _never_ behave like that and the subject was dropped. But she’d clearly tipped him over the edge of it this time and she was only too happy to follow.

“Oh fuck yes, Professor! Please give me an A. I’ve been such a good girl, I’ve been such a good little slut just for you, I deserve that grade. I deserve your come inside of me and that passing grade. Oh fuck, fuck, _fuck!_ ” she had to bite the heel of her hand to keep that last one from being too loud, but she had a feeling that anyone listening in at his door would know exactly what was happening. The sound of their bodies meeting was too much of a dead giveaway.

“Touch your clit, Rey,” he commanded, fucking up into her harder, his grip on her hips almost bruising as he picked her up and slammed her back down onto him. “You're so fucking wet, so wet for your Professor. You want me to pound this sweet, tight little pussy?” Already moving faster and harder, his body beginning to tremble with his own orgasm, sweat glistening on his forehead, he closed his eyes to focus. He should be making her earn the A and not just letting her take it, but he couldn't give up all of his control right now.

Rey dropped her remaining stabilizing hand to immediately obey his command, her body giving a sharp jerk as she rubbed at her clit. She bit on her other hand harder, choking back another loud moan.

“Please, Professor, _please_ pass me. I’ve been your perfect little slut, been dripping wet for you in every class and fucked myself every night thinking about you. I need your come. Come in me, Professor. Fill me up,” she whimpered. She almost wished she was at peak fertility right now, as this was definitely memorable conception sex. But she’d checked the app and that was four days away. This would just be a hot and sexy memory, no more and no less.

Groaning deeply in his chest, he said, “I'm going to come, I'm going to-- _fuck!_ \--you little slut!” He gave one final, _hard_ thrust into her and spilled over, pumping her full with his spend. He felt her flood around him a moment later, and it sent another hot spurt inside of her as she milked him. Fuck, she was so good to him. Leaning up a moment later, he wrapped his arms around her waist and breathed against her ear, “You definitely earned that A.”

She laughed, collapsing back against his chest. “Let’s go ahead and pray that Hux wasn’t standing outside your door and recording that.” She then grinned wickedly, leaning up to suck along his neck. “But if he was, at least we gave him a good show. It’s probably the most action he’s going to get.”

Smirking softly, he shook his head and said, “You know, I'm almost sad we haven't done that before. I know you've brought it up before, but maybe we can find something else to roleplay in the future.” Chuckling slightly, he fumbled with his tie, making a slight attempt to straighten it, though he wouldn't actually be able to until she got up, but he was in no rush. This was the last time they'd be able to do this.

“You did it, Rey,” he said a moment later, in awe of how much work she'd put into this semester. He'd helped her at every opportunity to study, and she'd pulled it off. Of course, they wouldn't know for sure until her grades were posted, but he knew she had this just fine.

She hummed happily, knowing that she needed to get off his lap as there really was no guarantee that someone wasn’t going to come knocking at any moment. She was only in her bra, the rest of her clothing either hung up on the back of his door or pooled on the ground there. But she was so happy and comfortable, loving the feeling of his body surrounding her.

“I can’t believe I did it. I’m finally done with school. After what happened last year I was so sure I’d never catch up. But you never gave up on me. I wouldn’t be here without you, Kylo. I hope you realize how much I love you and appreciate you for everything you’ve done for me. I really don’t deserve you,” she said passionately.

“It was for entirely selfish reasons, I assure you,” he laughed softly. “I just wanted to see you succeed. After every speed bump you've been through, I've never wanted to see someone achieve their dreams as much as I have with you. You deserve every available honor and praise.” He thought back to the finals he still had to grade through, and the faster he got those done, the faster he could get them posted and then that would be at least one class down.

He'd never shown her papers any sort of favoritism, and he didn't give her anymore tutelage for his class than he would for any other student. It was imperative that she pass by herself without any help. For one, she'd be mad he'd helped her without knowing she did it by herself, and two, that wasn’t like him, either.

“Did you remember to fill out the papers I left on your kitchen table this morning? I will take them to the courthouse this afternoon so we can get our marriage license processed,” Rey asked.

With a final quick kiss to his neck, she sat up and began to get dressed. She’d need to go to the bathroom to properly clean up, but she needed to be dressed first in order to accomplish that. She slid on her clothes, making sure that nothing was inside out or backwards.

Rising up from the chair, making sure to adjust the back to sit straight again, he smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I signed them. They're still on the table. You still have your key?” He'd given it to her at the start of the semester so she could come and go as she pleased, and she'd even let herself in while he wasn't there to surprise him every now and then. It had been strange at first to have someone in his home without him there, but it was Rey, and it just felt right.

Rey nodded and pulled said object from her back pocket, one of three keys on her ring. “Perfect, then. I will head home and get those down to the courthouse tonight. And then next week…” she trailed off with a happy grin, stepping back towards him so that she could lean over and kiss him again.

“Next week, you get to legally become Rey Ren,” he laughed. “Which reminds me...I was actually thinking about changing my name back…” He chewed on his lip for a moment. “To Ben Solo.” Now that everything was smoothed over with his family, it felt stupid to change his name again, and Rey knew him as Kylo, but still. Maybe he'd leave it up to her and whatever last name she wanted and she could still call him whatever.

She couldn’t help but let out a relieved laugh. She’d thought that “Rey Ren” sounded _ridiculous_ , but she loved him. She was even thinking of asking him if he was open to taking her last name, or for them to think of a new one together. But Rey Solo...that  had a nice ring to it.

“Whatever you want, honey, I will support you. Kylo Ren, Ben Solo...it doesn’t change that you’re the man I love at the end of the day,” she reassured him with a loving smile. “But it would make your mother happy. And hey, it would allow you to reclaim the papers you had published under that name. Ben Solo was an incredibly prolific writer, Kylo Ren just teaches his stuff.”

“Ben Solo is a soft boy and not a hard ass professor like myself,” he snorted indignantly, redoing his pants. “I'll think about it, just wanted you to know that I was heavily considering it.” He stood a moment later and kissed her forehead. “You need to get to the courthouse before they close early.” He led her over to the door with a firm smack to her ass. “I need to get to work on these papers, anyway. Apparently I need to find out if my fiancee has passed my class.”

She grinned at the use of her temporary title, feeling that rush of excitement at the knowledge that soon, so soon, they’d be husband and wife. She was so glad that soon all this would be behind them and they’d get to start their real lives together.

____________

Winter graduation wasn’t as heavily-attended as spring, and Rey was all the more grateful for it. She only had to sit through 200 other graduates before she could finally walk across the stage and shake hands with the professors. She felt tears prick her eyes as she looked each of her professors in the eyes, all of them smiling and wishing her the best. Snap, especially, glowed with pride, whispering to her as she shook hands with him that he knew good news from RM was on the horizon.

Jessika and Rose took Rey out to celebrate immediately following the ceremony, even if she longed to just run off with Kylo. But they were going tomorrow and she could wait. For now, she enjoyed the happiness and ease of knowing that her college experience was behind her. She was grateful that Jessika and Rose didn’t really notice that she abstained from drinking, the two finals-stressed girls drinking enough for all of them. If anything they were grateful, as they very soon required a DD and Rey was happy to use that as her excuse. She couldn’t drink right now, Dr. Kalonia had advised against the consumption of alcohol while attempting to get pregnant. As she dropped Rose off at her apartment, she longed to tell her what was happening tomorrow, but she knew she still had to wait. They were still in a danger zone, technically, and she wouldn’t dream of risking either of them.

“You did it, bae. You--you graduted!” Jessika slurred as Rey helped her into their apartment. “Look at you, all grown up! Hey, where’s your cat?”

“She’s with Kylo, Jess. Now c’mon, let’s get you in your room,” Rey said. She was glad that she didn’t have to hide everything from Jessika, and she hoped that Jess would be forgiving when she found out what little detail she was omitting.

“Good. That’s good. I can’t wait to see her. Or you. Look at you, Rey. All grown up with your college degree. You’re so awesome. I’m so proud of you. You’re my best friend in the entire universe and you went and graduated college like a badass and you got out of your abusive relationship and you conquered your miscarriage and you even did a few threesomes which was, whoa, so something I never thought you’d do, and then you forgave your abusive boyfriend and helped him heal and you dated your hot professor who I also fucked but you’re so much better for him and I just love you so much,” Jessika babbled, leaning heavily on Rey.

Rey smiled softly, gently dropping Jess onto her bed. “Thank you, sweetie. I love you, too.”

Rey undressed Jessika and slipped her sleep shirt over her head, making sure to grab some water and ibuprofen for the morning. Just as Rey was about to leave, Jessika grabbed her arm. “Sleep with me, please? I wanna cuddle you. I miss cuddling you. Kevin’s an okay cuddler but I miss holding my best girl and knowing things are good.”

Rey couldn’t deny her that and she pressed a kiss to her head with the promise of returning in a moment. When Rey returned to her room, she stared at her wedding dress as she stripped off her clothes and changed into what sleepwear she had left at the apartment. Tomorrow she’d become Kylo--Ben’s wife. She wore a smile on her face the whole time that she brushed her hair and her teeth, and when she crawled into bed with Jessika, she fell asleep with that same smile on her face.

_Finally._

_____________

Even though they were eloping without a formal ceremony that involved all of their family or friends, Kylo still donned his best suit to match Rey’s dress. He hadn't exactly seen it yet, but he was betting that whatever she'd picked was gorgeous. She wouldn't be wearing it for long, anyway; consummation of the marriage and all of that. He'd managed to talk Luke into being the one to marry them. The old man had been internet ordained for a while to officiate a few weddings, one being for Leia and Han several decades ago.

While they had woken up in separate places, come tonight, Rey would be living with him full-time now. They still had a lot to talk about, such as maybe moving once her internship started, but he was more than willing to do it for her to achieve her dreams.

He styled his hair, added another layer of deodorant and made sure his face was free of any five-o’clock shadow. He'd opted for a suit that had a tie rather than a bowtie, but it still looked rather nice, if he said so himself. He didn't think Rey had ever seen him in full suit regalia, and he wondered if she’d like the look.

His body tingled with nervous anticipation, but not because he was afraid. He knew Rey loved him and he loved her. She wouldn't leave him with cold feet at their non-existent altar. He was just excited to begin the rest of his life with her.

As he hopped in his car and headed out to his parent’s summer home in the woods, he let his mind wander a little. They would be married and spend their honeymoon holed up in the little cabin with nothing but a fireplace and each other to keep warm. He was absolutely okay with that. He'd definitely keep her warm, all right. They'd been cleared to start trying for a baby whenever, too. His suitcase was in the trunk of the car, packed with spare clothing for the next week. Rey was going to be arriving separately with a similar bag. It had taken a lot of begging and pleading with Luke to keep from telling Han and Leia, but being a recluse himself, he understood the desire for privacy, though he didn't necessarily approve.

Rey Niima was about to become Rey Solo, his _wife._ Not his student, not his girlfriend, but something so much more. The drive was long and slow, given the amount of snow on the roads, but when he finally pulled into the little gravel driveway, he was relieved to see Rey’s car there already. It looked like Luke had yet to arrive. Kylo figured as much, as the old man was more cautious and would probably be driving about ten miles per hour. Getting out, he headed inside, pleased to find that the power was working just fine. Okay, so maybe his plans for being the only thing keeping Rey warm were somewhat spoiled, but maybe she'd appreciate the excuse anyway.

“Rey?” he called, carrying the marriage license and his suitcase as he shut the door gently behind him.

“Don’t come up here!” Rey cried out, her eyes snapping to the door in terror as she set another pin in her hair to hold it in place. She was in the master bedroom applying the final touches to herself. Kylo’s uncle wasn’t due to show for another half hour but she was too excited to wait to get ready. “It’s bad luck to see me before the wedding!”

“Fine, fine. But you know I don't believe in that superstitious bullshit,” he called back, moving around the living room to look at the pictures on the mantle. There were several of him and his parents when he was a child, and he could remember the situations perfectly.

Frowning, he shoved his hands into his pockets, fiddling with the velvet box in one. Rey's finger had been sized, and she'd given him some general things she liked in a ring after he'd denied her an orgasm until she coughed them up.

“We’ve faced enough bad luck that we can’t tempt shit now!” Rey snapped back. Finished with her hair, she checked to make sure her makeup was looking okay. Although the ceremony was going to be strictly private, she’d still insisted on hiring a photographer, which Rey reminded Kylo that it would serve as the double purpose of being a witness. Plus, she knew she’d want pictures. It was their wedding day, after all.

Turning on the tv, grateful the cable was still hooked up, he switched it over to the weather channel and watched the bands of snow approaching without really seeing. He was too keyed up to sit and wait, so he stood in the middle of the living room like an idiot until there was _finally_ a knock on the door followed by the sound of it opening.

In stepped Luke, wearing some...really old looking brown robes. What the fuck? He looked like he'd just crawled off of some deserted island like Tom Hanks in _Castaway._ He was just waiting for the man to call out for the nearest volleyball. Whatever, it didn't matter what he was wearing. Luke was just here to do a job.

“Hey, kid,” Luke greeted gruffly, a book tucked under his arm as he stepped into the warm house. “Where's the bride?”

“Upstairs because I can't see her until it's time, apparently,” Kylo muttered back. “Can you see if she needs help with anything?”

Luke nodded, saying, “Sure, sure. You look good. I bet she puts you to shame, though.”

Kylo rolled his eyes as his uncle made his way up the stairs and went back to staring blankly at the screen.

Rey smoothed her hands over her dress one last time, butterflies kicking in as she heard the knock at the door and Luke’s entry. All that was left was the photographer. It was time to get married.

“Come in,” Rey bid, having heard Luke’s ascent.

“Hey there,” he greeted as he stepped into the room, making sure to shut the door behind him to prevent any wandering eyes. “I was right. You look way better than he does. Cold feet? Any second thoughts?”

Rey laughed. She didn’t know Kylo’s uncle _too_ well, but she knew that she liked him enough. “Never. But how’s he doing? Is he nervous at all?”

“He looks terrified. Completely lost,” Luke said in a chipper tone, immediately moving to his sister’s dresser and inspecting the items on top.

Rey balked at Luke, eyes nearly bugging out of her head. “ _What?_ Oh my god, Uncle Luke, you don’t think he’s going to leave, do you?”

“I don't know, really. You better run down there and catch him before he scurries off. He was looking a little flighty,” Luke said without looking up from Leia’s perfume sets, which he was intently taking the caps off of and sniffing.

Just as Rey grabbed for the handle of the door, she stopped and turned back to look at Luke. “You’re messing with me, aren’t you?”

Chuckling, he nodded and turned back to her, smiling. “Yes, I'm kidding. He looked so resolved when I came in. You've truly captured that boy’s heart. I can honestly say I don't think you have anything to worry about.”

Rey sighed, leaning against the door. “Good. I’ve never had my own family and with Kylo--with Ben, that is--I feel like I finally do.” She twined her hands in front of her, thinking of the promise he’d made her, thinking of the child they were going to have within the next year or so. She’d have her very own family soon.

Luke came forward and settled his hands gently on her shoulders, looking at her intensely. “You're part of the family now, Rey. While I don't agree with your decision to elope, I understand the desire. Is there anything you need me to do or tell him before we get this shindig on the road?”

She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his torso, laying her head on his shoulder. “No, nothing. Just...thank you. I know no one gets that we’re doing this like this, but we really appreciate you being here for us. It means more than you could ever know.”

He patted her awkwardly on the back, nodding slightly while he held his head back to avoid messing up her hair. Hearing a knock downstairs followed by Ben’s low rumble, Luke stepped back, a twinkle in his eye. “Showtime, pipsqueak. Ready?”

Rey smiled up at him, feeling as sure as she ever had about anything ever in her entire life. “Absolutely. Walk me?”

Face softening onto a kind smile, he nodded and tucked her arm under his, his free hand holding onto his book. He opened the door for her and ushered her out, walking slowly down the stairs with her. He cleared his throat and announced, “Benjamin Solo, if you fuck this up and lose this girl, I will personally haunt you as a ghost.”

Turning, a snarky retort on his tongue, Kylo faltered at the sight of Rey, the words dying away. She looked so...he had absolutely no words. She was the most beautiful thing in the world and she was going to be his, as he would be hers. “I, uhm. Wow.”

Rey blushed, smoothing a hand down her tea-length skirt with her white gloves. “You, too.”

She wasn’t sure what had inspired her to go 1950’s retro chic for her wedding aesthetic, but once she’d seen the lace and tulle dress, she’d been done for. Perhaps it had been the half sleeves and high neckline, all in delicate lace, how it met a sweetheart neckline with a tight bodice cinched with a ribbon, or the fullness of the tulle skirt, but she’d been instantly drawn to it. The white heels had been a bit hard to find on short notice, but the birdcage veil had been easy enough, and the gloves were even simpler. She’d purchased a faux-fur white stole for their photos outside, but as she looked up at her almost-husband, she had a feeling she’d feel plenty warm enough. Figuring out how to style her own hair had been a challenge best left to YouTube tutorials, but she still felt confident in the updo, and the makeup had at least been simple. As she unbuttoned the gloves and set them aside, she heard the photographer clicking away. She was getting married. This was real.  

Raking his eyes over the dress again, he gave her a small, knowing smile. He knew exactly how he'd be getting that off of her later. Taking her hand in his, he brought her over to the fireplace, Luke taking up his spot to their side. Turning to Rey, Kylo lifted one hand up to his mouth and kissed it gently, right on the finger where her ring would soon sit. Luke opened up his book and licked his finger before flipping over to another page.

“It’s been a while since I've done one of these, so I'm afraid I'm a bit rusty on my pretty phrases,” Luke said without looking up. He took a deep breath before finally beginning, “You two are here to get married. Ben, do you have your vows?”

Kylo let out a shaky sigh, nodding as he reached for Rey’s other hand, holding both of hers tightly between his own. “Rey,” he said, meeting her eyes. His next tone was the most sincere it had ever been when he continued, “I vow to always protect you from harm, to stand with you against your troubles, and to look to you to be my protection. I vow to love you endlessly, with every piece of myself, from this day until our last. I vow to make you happy, to make you laugh until you can't breathe, and to always be there for you, even when we're mad at each other. You look so beautiful to me today, but know I’ll think you're just as beautiful tomorrow, and the day after that, until the end of time.” He paused to take the box from his pocket, opening it in front of her. “When you look at this ring, even after I'm gone, think of me, and know that I will love you always.”

Rey had to swallow down a lump in her throat, and she _definitely_ heard the photographer, a girl named Tallie who she’d met online, give a dreamy sigh. For only a moment, she cursed that she had decided to marry an English professor, and that she was not at all as good with words. But her vows had come from her heart, so she hoped he wouldn’t mind.

“Ben. When first we met, I thought my life was perfect. I saw the path of it so clearly, I saw who I was going to be and who was going to be by my side. But when things went wrong, when my entire world came crashing down around me and I seemed set adrift for eternity, _you_ were the one who rescued me. You have been my comfort and my confidence, my lover and my friend. No one could have loved me more, cherished me more, or supported me more. So I vow to spend the rest of my life proving I am worthy of such love and devotion, and giving it back to you. I vow to be your friend and lover, your comfort and confidence, the person who helps you solve every single problem, even if the outcome seems bleak. I vow to love you forever and more, to always be yours no matter what else life throws our way.” She reached into the pocket of her dress and pulled forth his ring. “A ring is a circle because there is no ending to it, same as my love for you. Look at this and know, always, that I love you.”

Ben felt his chest swell with pride and happiness, love and adoration. He wanted to drag her closer and kiss her, but the time for that was soon. He smiled at her instead, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

Luke cleared his throat slightly, and though Ben’s attention was dragged away from Rey, his eyes never left hers. “Do you, Benjamin Solo, take this woman, Rey Niima, to be your lawfully wedded wife? Do you promise to care for her, to stay faithful to her, and to hold her and to comfort her in times of crisis? Do you promise to love her, to cherish her, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

Ben had never felt more sure of anything in his life. Making sure to keep his tone even and firm, leaving no room for doubt, he replied, “I do.”

“And do you, Rey Niima, take this man, Benjamin Solo, to be your lawfully wedded husband? Do you promise to care for him, to work out your differences, to love him and cherish him, to stay faithful to him, and to prevent him from doing anything _too_ stupid, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?” Luke asked, turning his eyes to her next.

Rey bit back to urge to snark, to clarify _how_ stupid. Now wasn’t the time. Now was instead the time to say something else entirely.

“I do,” Rey replied, a low but confident sound. She squeezed his hands, so excited that they were about to be officially bound forever.

“You may exchange your rings now,” Luke instructed.

Ben lifted her left hand and, still holding her eyes, slipped the ring from the box and onto her finger. It looked _right_ there, like it belonged.

Rey smiled and slipped his on. She’d been so proud when she’d pick it out, dark tungsten and white gold, light and dark woven together just like him. She hoped he would like it. She thought hers was beautiful.

Luke was smiling brightly now, his book snapping closed as he said, “By the power vested in me, from the state of New York and the lovely internet, I now pronounce you man and wife.” He gave a lingering pause before saying with a grin, “You may now kiss your bride.”

Ben tossed the box onto the couch and moved forward to cup Rey’s face, crushing his lips urgently to hers. He didn't care who was watching, who was taking pictures. He was a man who'd gotten what he wanted--a woman he loved in his arms that loved him right back. Dropping one hand down to wrap around her waist he turned and dipped her low, lost in the feeling of bliss.

Rey melted into his kiss, trusting his hold on her as she brought one hand up to cup his face while the other laid on his shoulder. She was in bliss, absolute heaven. She was _married._ She moaned softly into his mouth, fully aware of their dual audience but not caring. They knew what happened after they left, why pretend otherwise? As he ended the kiss and slowly righted them, she held her forehead pressed against his as long as possible, her breathing even with his.

“I love you, Ben,” she whispered.

Opening his eyes as though he'd just been roused from a dream, he looked into hers, so close. They caught the light of the dancing fireplace, and it looked like she held all of the cosmos in her beautiful hazel eyes. “I love you too, Rey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost there!!!!
> 
> This chapter was originally much longer, but upon editing we realized that you probably don't want to be bogged down by 18K words so we decided to be a BIT merciful.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The honeymoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A sweet little chapter before everything gets wrapped up!

As Ben and Rey kissed, they were vaguely aware of clapping from Luke and Tallie. Ben smiled as he pulled his forehead from hers, tucking her under his arm where he forever belonged.

“All right, kids, I'm out. Congratulations,” Luke said as he clapped Ben on the shoulder and wrestled Rey away from him to hug her. “You guys better not consummate this marriage on your mother’s bed--that’s all I'm saying.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “Your uncle is one of a kind. But I like him. He signed the license, right?”

“That's a...great question. You look at pictures, and I'll be right back,” Ben said, immediately rushing out the door to catch Luke before he left.

Rey laughed as she stood with the Tallie, fawning over the beautiful shots. She led her over to where the two-story windows in the living room looked out on the land and they discussed their vision for the remainder of the wedding photos. They’d lay a blanket out to keep Rey’s feet from freezing, and the stole would warm her arms. The snow was falling lightly and the sun was going to set soon, so they knew time was of the essence. As they waited for Ben and Luke, Tallie signed the license herself.

Coming back in with Luke trailing behind (who had a very sheepish expression on his face), Ben dusted the snow off of his hair. “He seriously didn't sign it. Old hermit thought he was getting off that easily.”

“I told you I was rusty!” Luke protested half-heartedly before he quickly signed his own name on the paper. “Okay, _now_ can I go? The roads are starting to get bad.”

“Will you wait, then? I want to make sure Tallie gets home safely, too. I promise the photos will only take, like, a half hour, tops,” Rey begged.

“As long as you guys don't start going at it in front of me, sure. At least give me a warning before you rip each other’s clothing off,” Luke muttered, watching the almost possessive way Ben was curling his arm around her shoulders.

“Thank you! Let’s go!” Rey cheered excitedly.

True to her word, photos only _did_ take a half hour, but that was mostly because the snow was coming and Tallie had limited visibility for some of the shots. But the shots she did get were stunning, capturing Rey and Ben on a white and pine-green landscape, the setting sun setting them aglow. Tallie took a handful more shots once they got back inside, some in front of the fireplace, others by the window, and even a few on the couch, where Ben and Rey lounged happily in each other’s arms. With the promise of edits soon (and the receiving of a very large tip for them both) Luke and Tallie left and Ben and Rey were finally alone.

Rey closed and locked the door, pressing her hands to the cool wood as she felt her husband coming up behind her. She remained facing away from him, anticipation lighting her whole body on a wonderful fire.

Settling his large hands around her hips, Ben bent down to brush his lips lightly along the exposed skin at the nape of her neck. She smelled like hair products and some lingering perfume, but above all else, she smelled like his wife. Kissing a light trail around to the side of her throat, he whispered, “What would you like to do now?”

She moaned softly, a gentle whine of a sound. “There’s champagne and strawberries in the fridge. I may or may not have made whipped cream for it.”

She’d arrived at the house first thing in the morning, having kissed her hungover roommate goodbye and made a promise to return in a week. She’d been all over the cabin then, making sure things would be perfect for their honeymoon. She changed the bedding in the bedroom that had been his, she set up candles and flowers, and she’d grocery shopped. She’d also arranged to have Daisy and Jax brought up tomorrow, but for now, Jessika was meant to look in on them.

Giving her neck one last, lingering kiss, he pulled away and went to the fridge, gathering up the bowl of whipped cream, and strawberries. In his free hand, he arranged the flutes between his fingers and held the bottle of champagne, bringing them back out to her. He wanted to carry her upstairs, but it was hard with his hands full. That was something best reserved for the threshold of their own home, anyway. Still, somehow, he managed, offering her the food, while he scooped her up, still holding onto the bottle and the glasses with the arm under her legs.

Going up the stairs, careful not to bump her against the wall of railing, he made his way down the hall to where his old room was. She'd really gone all out, and he felt bad for having her do all of this work on _their_ day together. He'd just have to see about making it up to her. He set the glasses on the nightstand and placed her gently on the bed. Taking the strawberries and cream from her, he settled those on the nightstand as well, dropping to his knees in front of her to begin removing her heels. He worked quickly, yet carefully, not wanting to ruin them. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to her knee, unable to keep his mouth off of her as he set her shoes aside.

“Oh, Ben,” she sighed softly, wanting so badly to reach out and touch him. But he was moving and she didn’t want to halt his progress in undressing her. She was excited for him to see what was underneath her wedding dress, after all.

Lifting the hem of her dress slightly, he pressed another kiss along her leg, higher up this time, moving up further as each inch was revealed to him. When her dress was bunched up around her waist, he inhaled sharply to see the slightly see-through fabric of white thigh-highs. “Are you sure you should be wearing white, you little tease? You're _hardly_ pure. I'm fairly sure I've violated you in nearly every way imaginable by now.”

“I distinctly bought _ivory,_ Professor,” she purred in response. “And I’m pretty sure you can think of a few more ways to violate me tonight. I didn’t just make that cream for the food.”

“I'm sure you didn't,” he murmured back, rising to his knees to mouth at the hem of one stocking. He managed to unclip it from the garter and tug it down with his teeth. When it was completely off, he repeated the motion on the other side, intent on his work, his movements slow and methodical. Rising to his feet, he took her hand and pulled her up with him, kissing her forehead before turning her around to get at the clasps on the back of her dress. He slipped the top piece down her arms, immediately bringing his mouth back down to kiss along every inch he could. He just couldn't get enough of her. It would never be enough, and he had an entire lifetime now to get his fill.

Letting the dress pool on the floor, he stepped back to admire the lingerie she was wearing. It was _ivory,_ like she'd said, see through lace on some portions of the torso. It was completely strapless, and he loved the way it accented her spine and shoulders. Smiling to himself, he stepped back even further, going to grab the flutes. Handing one to her, he took the bottle and removed the foil at the top, popping the cork easily. Extending his arm, he poured some into her glass before filling his own. Setting the bottle aside, he took his own glass and lounged on the bed, eyes roaming over her, drinking in every detail.

“I take it that my husband likes his wedding present?” Rey asked, standing before him with no shame as she sipped her glass.

“I do,” he replied, sipping at his own, his eyes dark and calculating as he drank her in. It wasn't lost on him that he'd said the same two words not too long before in a different circumstance. “And once I get you out of it, I'm going to lick that whipped cream off every inch of your body.”

She smiled over the lip of her glass as she drained the last of it, setting it aside and crawling up the bed towards him, slow and catlike. The buzz of the bubbles sliding down her throat made her feel warm and even more excited, and she thrilled to the look in his dark eyes as she made her slow approach. She stopped beside him, placing her hands on either side of his hips as she hovered above him. “As you wish, Professor.”

Eyes dropping to the cleavage she was offering him, on hands and knees as she was, he lifted a finger and traced the cupped edge of her lingerie over her breasts. “You're so beautiful,” he murmured, setting his glass aside, before grasping her shoulders and flipping them, with her pressed into the bed. “It would be a shame not to pay homage to such beauty.” Dropping his head down, he pressed his lips along the top portion of her chest, leaving light, open-mouthed kisses as he went further south.

He kissed along the inside of her thighs, giving attention to every freckle that graced her skin. Reaching for the bowl of whipped cream, he set it beside him on the bed. The strawberries came next and he dipped one into the cream. Dragging the fruit across her inner thigh next, he leaned forward to lick the remnants up with slow, tantalizing strokes.

She shivered at the sensation, her thighs twitching to close but logic reminding her to keep them _very_ open. “Fuck, Professor,” she whispered, bringing a hand up to bite at her finger as she watched him between her thighs. “I can’t believe you’re all mine now, perfect mind _and_ sinful body.”

“All yours for the rest of our days,” he purred back, taking a bite of the strawberry. He chewed slowly, reaching up to pull her panties down and expose her fully to him. “Would it be too much if I worship you like this every morning?” he asked, taking another berry. He dipped it into the cream again and this time, he trailed it right along the area between her legs, sliding it around her clit. Satisfied, he licked that up too, giving extra attention to everything else down there for tasting so damn good.

“ _Ah!”_ her eyes fluttered closed. “Only if I can--god, _Ben_ \--if I can worship you, too!” She resisted the urge to move too much, knowing that the food on the bed could tip at any moment if she got too enthusiastic. But it felt so much better than she’d anticipated, even through all of her sinful thoughts as she’d been mixing the whipped cream. She’d imagined it, sure, but she didn’t realize it would feel like _this_.

Shrugging off his suit jacket, he let it lay on the ground with her dress. He was still wearing the dress shirt and suspenders, and as he leaned back enough to roll up his sleeves, he smiled up at her. “You pick where it goes next, sweetheart.”

She felt her eyes darken further as she look at his state of dress. It was unfair, really, that she could be so turned on by him still being in so much clothing. There was something about the way his forearms bulged, so obvious with the sleeves rolled to his elbows, or how the suspenders were a dark black against a stark white. She didn’t know what it was about the image that made her suddenly get wetter, but damn if it did.

“Hmm...I rather liked where it was just then, but that makes me greedy. How about up here?” She asked, tapping her fingers to where her erect nipples strained beneath the mesh and lace.

Giving a sound that was both a growl and a hum of approval, he slipped a hand under her back to lift her up enough so that he could undo the fastenings of the lingerie. He peeled it off of her, scanning her body eagerly. She was truly perfect for him in every way. Dipping his finger into the cream again, he brushed it liberally over both of her dusky nipples. His breath was coming in short, anticipatory pants, and he crawled over her on the bed, sweeping his tongue across every part of her breasts except for where the cream was.

Using the finger that he'd applied the sweet substance with, he held it up to her lips, prodding past them gently. “Be a good girl and suck.”

Not needing to be told twice, she immediately slid her finger down the digit, moaning lowly in her throat as she swallowed down the taste of the sweet treat and the salt of her husband’s finger. She sucked him down to the knuckle, maintaining a heated eye contact as she sucked and then licked, coming off of him to nudge a second into her mouth. She loved him, she loved every single inch of him, and she wanted to love several different inches of him right now. But for now, this was okay enough.

Leaning down again, he lapped at her breast, finally taking her nipple into his mouth as he flicked his tongue against the tip of it. He kept his attentions light, just enough to have her squirming. Repeating the motion on the other side, he groaned at the throb of his cock. He needed her. He needed her so badly, and he needed her _now._ “Fuck, I need you,” he told her, kissing up to her throat. “I need to be inside you, inside my wife. I need you, I love you,” he nearly begged, all pretense of foreplay forgotten.

“Oh god, yes, _please_. I need to feel my husband inside of me, I need to feel you filling me up and making our baby. I love you, too, Ben. I love you so much,” she agreed excitedly. She moved the food onto the nightstand beside them and shimmied down the bed to eagerly await him, kicking the last of her lingerie off the bed.

Pulling back to stand at the edge of the bed, he slipped the suspenders off, letting them fall uselessly to his sides as he worked on the buttons of his shirt, his eyes burning with need as he gazed down at her. He'd had sex with her countless times, and somehow it still wasn't enough. He would need her like this forever. Shirt gone, he worked his trousers down, and stepped out of those and his boxers. Nudging them aside, he crawled back onto the bed with her, kissing her body sloppily as he made his way back up to her mouth.

Wrapping her legs around his waist, he prodded at her wet, soft entrance, needing to complete this act. He was aching so much, and it felt like every nerve ending in his body had been ignited. “I love you,” he repeated over and over, moaning softly as he began to slip into her. She was his and he was hers, always from now until the end.

She sighed happily as he filled her up, feeling her body eagerly stretch and accommodate his length and girth as she always did. “I love you. God how I love you. You’re mine, mine forever. Tell me no one will part us, Ben. Tell me you’ll always be with me. Always.”

“Always,” he promised, giving a sharp thrust of his hips. “Forever, just you and me, no matter what happens.” He captured her mouth in a searing kiss, sinking into her as far as possible. Pulling back slowly, he gave a shaky sigh into her mouth, resting his forehead to hers as he picked up a steady pace. God, she felt so good, just as welcoming and as tight as always, but somehow ten times better. Maybe it was knowing they wouldn't be torn apart, or that they were officially bound to each other, but he couldn't help the little sounds she took from him, the gasps and pants that he couldn't hide, and didn't even try to. He knew she loved hearing him, just as much as he loved hearing her. “No one else ever again, just you, only you. Fuck, Rey, my love, my life, it's always been only you.”

He may have shared his body with others in the past, but she was the only one to ever hold the key to his heart.

Rey whimpered and purred, tilting her pelvis to accept him even deeper inside. She cried out as she felt him brush against her g-spot, knowing that no one was ever able to please her quite like this. Not even her brief foray into polyamory where she was often pleased on a dual scale could hold a candle to this. Finn had loved her, sure, and he was expressing his passions for her, but with Poe, it had always been just about pleasure and there was no connection behind it, which had left the exchange feeling ultimately disconnected in the end. But never with Ben. Ben worshipped her, loved her to his fullest extent and then did it some more. She felt greedy as always in knowing that she was taking from him, accepting everything he gave her and always feeling like she wasn’t giving it back in equal.

Then she remembered how often she brought him to his knees in desire, how she could turn his eyes from liquid amber to burning coals with a simple phrase, and she knew it was even. They were an equal pair, giving and taking in time. She loved that about them. She couldn’t wait to do it more, for the rest of their lives.  

Taking one of her hands in his, he laced their fingers together and dragged it up beside her head, his other holding him up above her. His arms were shaking slightly with the effort and the emotions coursing through him. This was something he'd dreamed about for years, of the night when he would finally be able to call someone his own. Rey was everything he'd ever need and more. No one could ever _hope_ to hold a candle to her, as radiant as she was. She was perfect, perfect for him in every way. His hair fell down around his face, and as he held eye contact with her, he gave a pivot of his hips, knowing every place that felt the best to her. He wanted her to feel good, wanted her to come and come again on his cock. And then he needed to fill her up and give her the baby she so deserved.

She shivered under his intense gaze, knowing he was feeling just as intensely as she was. Well, perhaps not _quite,_ as the coil in her belly was threatening to let loose any moment now. The friction of him inside of her was exactly what she needed and she cried out as he kept hitting her sweetest spot over and over again. When she finally felt her release, she felt her legs seize up and she clenched his hand hard in hers, desperate to hold his gaze as her mouth fell over in a silent, powerful scream.

“Keep--oh--keep going,” she mewled weakly, delighting in that post-orgasm bliss as he continued to thrust into her. She loved that feeling of utter happiness and pure exhaustion following an orgasm, knowing she needed to enjoy it because he started to raise the tension inside of her body again.

Nodding, he fought to stave off his own orgasm, the feeling hee clenching around him pushing him perilously close to the edge. Leaning down, he nosed at the side of her jaw, dipping down lower to kiss along her throat again. He wanted to keep that eye contact with her, but he also wanted to taste her again. He sucked at the side of her neck, leaving a mouth-shaped bruise in her skin before he pulled back to look at her again. With each roll of his hips against hers, he could feel her tightening around him once more, and he gasped softly, lips parting with sensation.

“I love you,” he breathed, tremors crawling up his arms as he pushed deeper into her, begging her body to take more of him.

“I love you, too. Please come for me, baby. I want to feel it. I want it so badly,” she begged, knowing her orgasm was so close. She was glad that once she achieved one, she was often able to achieve a second after. It was the third that always took the most effort, as her body was usually too spent to get there with ease. Ben usually had success if he was dedicated to it, but for tonight she just wanted to feel him fill her up and she wanted to fall asleep in his arms, blissed and happy and married.

It didn't take long after that--it never did. Rey had asked him to do something, and it was like he was programmed to do whatever she wanted. Kissing her, he gave a few more hard thrusts and moaned into her mouth as he spilled into her, his cock twitching as he came hard. This emotional connection they had was a beautiful thing, one that always made sex amazing. It was great by itself, but with her, it was something otherworldly, something only written about in romance novels, but with her it real.

He'd felt her coming at the same time, her body greedily taking his seed and pulling it in deeper, her body trying to put it exactly where it needed to go. Peppering light kisses over every inch of her face that he could reach, he stayed inside her for as long as possible until physiology ruled out and he had no choice but to withdraw. Instead, he laid beside her and wrapped his arm around her, entwining his left hand with hers. He lifted them up to inspect, their rings side by side as he kissed her bare shoulder next. “I love it, you know,” he murmured, taking in the beautiful design of the ring she'd picked for him.

She smiled, exhausted but proud. “I’m glad. I love mine, too.” It was small and simple, a bright blue sapphire with a diamond halo around it. She was so happy. “I can’t believe we’re really married. I’m finally out of college and we’re actually married.”

“Do you still like me?” he whispered, pressing his face into her neck.

“Ben, sweetie, we _just_ got married, like, 2 hours ago,” Rey said, rolling her eyes.

He nuzzled into her hair, tightening his arm around her. “Yeah, but do you still _like_ me? I hear the honeymoon period goes by pretty fast.”

Rey rolled over in his arms, her back to him now. “Go to sleep, Ben.”

“But you didn't answer!” he protested, snuggling up against her back, pressing himself close to her.

“No, Ben, I _don’t_ like you, at all,” she grumbled, determined to keep facing forward.

He sighed heavily, pushing his nose to her hair. “I knew it,” he muttered. “You just married me for my body.”

“Obviously,” she scoffed. She then smiled and melted fully into him, marveling for a moment, as she always did, how her body seemed to fit so perfectly with his. “I don’t like you, because I _love_ you. Like, a while bunch. It’s actually really gross. I even legally changed my name and all of that just because my stupid brain is firing all these chemicals off saying I want to be with you for, like, ever.”

“I think I'm suffering from the same condition, then,” he smirked, kissing her hair. “I even let this girl marry me. It’s pretty wild. I think she said something about how her love for me was like a ring? It was touching, though. I may love her, maybe just a little.”

“Well, maybe she’s cooking you a little Solo right this very moment and you’ll realize you actually love her a lot. Or she isn’t, and you’ll simply just _have_ to love her even more, to put one in there, of course. For science,” she teased.

“Woe is me, but I think I can manage that. I might even wake her up in the morning to test that theory,” he said, already planning it out. Reaching down, he grabbed the light blanket at the foot of the bed and draped it over them, tucking it around her before settling his arm around her waist again. “Goodnight, sweetheart, I love you.”

__________

The next morning, Ben woke her up with his mouth between her legs and a hot breakfast of pancakes and a bowl of fruit, _with_ fresh whipped cream since their previous one had gone bad from being out all night. After she'd finished eating, he'd taken her again, his body seemingly determined that if she was pumped full of his come 24/7 that she was bound to get that baby eventually.

After they'd lounged around for a bit and then showered and cleaned up, he fucked her again just to make sure. Jax and Daisy were going to be arriving later in the day, and before they did, he informed Rey of his plan to go for a walk outside. He donned his coat and helped her with hers before taking her hand, strolling down the snow-covered pathway into the woods. He showed her his old treehouse, partially finished, the roof still missing in some places. Han had begun building it for him one year and then never finished it. But even so, he’d taken some of his favorite books up there in the summer when his family had visited, reading late into the night with a flashlight until his mother had come looking for him. He told Rey about his plan to fix it up, to replace the rotted wood and finish it for their child to play in one day. He vowed never to be the father that Han was, and he wanted to be an active participant in his child’s life. Secretly, he hoped for a girl, but he would be happy with either, as long as it was happy and healthy.

When they started getting too cold to continue with their walk, they headed back inside and warmed up by the fireplace, hands extended over it with their bodies touching from shoulder to hip. It was nice to have this time together, to be able to just lose themselves in their own little bubble for the span of a week. Jax and Daisy were dropped off a little while later by Jess, who was understandably upset by the fact that her best friend had run off and gotten married without telling anyone. It had taken a few cups of hot chocolate and some explaining to calm her down, but she understood the desire for privacy in the end.

When she finally left with a kiss to each of their cheeks and a happy wave, Ben brought out the board games, sitting on the floor with her as they moved their pieces around the board. They finished off the rest of the champagne, letting it go to their heads as the cats finally came out of hiding, sniffing curiously. When they were both nearly rolling in a fit of giggles, they made their way upstairs and collapsed onto the bed. They made a half-hearted attempt to undress and have sloppy drunken sex, but they realized they were both too far gone to actually do anything and instead just fell asleep with her sprawled out on his chest.

__________

After a week of wedded bliss, safely tucked away from the real world in their snowy retreat, Rey was dismayed to go home. She was supposed to be hearing from RM after the new year, and she was nervous, even with Snap’s encouragement that things were going to work out. She wanted to make Ben proud and she wanted to prove to herself that she was capable and good enough.

Their first day back to normal society was Christmas, where they arrived at the his parents house and finally revealed their secret.

“Married?” Leia gasped. “Who and how and where and _what!?_ ”

“Me and her, obviously, Luke officiated, a week ago,” Ben rattled off, answering each question in turn. He wrapped an arm around Rey’s shoulders, tucking her in closer. “We wanted it to be small.”

Leia grabbed him by the arm and turned him away from the rest of the family, glad that at least Han had ushered Rey into the den to be congratulated by the rest of their friends.

“Are you _insane_ ? What if the school finds finds out that your wedding day was immediately following her graduation day? You don’t think that’s going to raise _some_ warning signs? A bell or two? The romantic impulse is sweet and we are honestly happy for you, I swear it, but Ben, you are still jeopardizing both of your lives with this recklessness. They will challenge her grades. They’ll challenge your teaching. There are only so many things we can protect you from,” Leia said.

Jerking his arm away from her grip, he felt his happy mood instantly turn sour. He glared at Leia, tired of hearing about things he'd already spent many sleepless nights worrying about. “I'm not talking about this right now. Is it too much to just ask you to be happy for me, for _once?”_ he snapped lowly, moving away from her with a shake of his head.

“I _am._ We like Rey, she’s a sweet girl who seems to balance you out so nicely, and we would have happily supported your marriage, once enough time had passed between her being your student and the ceremony. I just don’t want to see both of your bright futures go up in smoke because you’re so in love that logic escaped you,” Leia insisted. Her expression softened and she laid her hand on his arm again, a softer gesture. “We love you, Ben, and I know we’re going to fall in love with her even more. She really does seem like the perfect girl for you and I am beyond thrilled that you found her.”

“Yeah, well, get used to the idea of being called grandma too, while we're at it. We're actively trying,” he muttered, swirling his coffee in his mug. He stared down at it as though it might hold the answers to all of his problems.

Leia gasped. “A baby!? But you--I thought--Ben Solo, this better not be a joke because it’s mean!”

“Not a joke, I swear,” he said, lifting his free hand in the air defensively. “Go ask her if you don't believe me.”

Leia brought her hands to her mouth, tears shimmering in her eyes. “You better not tell me my grandchild was born a week after, Benjamin. Oh my god, a baby! _Han!_ ”

Rey drifted back to Ben’s side, smiling fondly at him. “See, that didn’t go _so_ badly. And your dad is really happy. He did hit Luke for keeping it a secret, but it was gentle, no harm done. And when I promised pictures, everyone seemed happy enough.”

“Mom could have taken it a bit better, but she'll get over her shock eventually,” he replied, kissing her forehead. Tucking her in against him again, he brought her over to where the tree was and sipped at his coffee, admiring the multi-colored lights. “Merry Christmas, sweetheart,” he said as he handed her a gift from himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are going so well for them, aren't they?
> 
> Would be a shame if...
> 
> Something...
> 
> Went wrong...


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, guys. <3

Armitage Hux was not a subtle man, but he did often enjoy the element of surprise, the thrill of imparting unto the unknown. He hummed happily as he waited for the perfect moment to _surprise_ someone. He’d been dreaming of this moment for far, _far_ too long and today, he hoped, would finally be the day.

The math department secretary gave him a wide berth as he hummed merrily to himself, bustling from his office to the lobby to the halls and back again, an endless loop that he moved about with a buzz-like intensity. He even smiled at the students he passed, exchanging well wishes for a new semester with the braver ones.

When he finally saw that familiar tangle of dark hair and lumbering height moving down below, Hux broke off nearly in a run, going so far as to forget his coat in his haste.

“Ren!” Hux shouted out when he finally made it outside.

Turning his head, Ben raised an eyebrow at the man running up to him. “Hux. You're looking rather chipper.”

“Ah, yes! It's the thrill of a new year and a new semester. Always exciting to sit and guess what changes lie ahead, all those endless possibilities.” Hux grinned and clapped his hands together in front of him. “How was your holiday, Ren? Do anything exciting? Anything...life-altering?”

The sheer _tone_ of Hux’s mood threw up all sorts of red flags in Ben’s mind, and he faltered slightly in his step. “It was good,” he replied slowly, watching him out of the corner of his eye. The ginger was up to something, that much was for sure. Hux was _never_ in a good mood, not unless he was being a conniving little shit.

Hux smiled even wider at that. He clapped a hand, roughly, to Ben’s shoulder and began to lead him away from both of their buildings. “I had the most _interesting_ conversation over break. I ran into Bazine, you know Bazine, from the HR department, and after some drinks, we got to talking about this and that and everything. And do you know what she told me?”

“And what's that?” he replied lowly, resisting the urge to shrug his hand off.

“She told me that you applied for a second person to be under your insurance last year. I told her that was odd, as you don’t have anyone in your life but your cat, but she said it was true. And she knew it was true, because apparently the status of said relationship was changed over the break. It would appear _congratulations_ are in order. Married, Ren! You went and got married! And do you know _who_ you married? I mean, obviously you do,” Hux taunted merrily as they arrived at the administration building.

“You seem awfully interested in my personal affairs, _Armitage,”_ Ben said, working very hard to make it seem like the man’s words weren't getting to him. Truthfully, his heart was pounding and he was terrified, because he knew Hux knew and he wasn't getting off so easily.

“Well, you see, it isn’t just _me_ who is interested in your personal affairs.” Hux turned them as they stood at the steps of the building, both his hands on Ben’s wide shoulders. He glared up at him, his smile downright haughty now. “The university would be _very_ interested to hear how you went and married your _student_ , Rey Niima, the very _day_ after she graduated. Or how you adopted a cat together. Or how you added her to your insurance and paid for her hospitalization while she suffered a miscarriage. Although the information is a bit muddled there, as some accounts claim it was yours while others are certain it was Poe Dameron's. The girl certainly has a type.”

Feeling his blood go from ice to boiling in the matter of an instant, Ben came to an abrupt stop and turned, grabbing Hux by his oh so pristine tie. He brought his face closer to the other man’s, glaring into those icy blue eyes. “I would _really_ advise you to stop talking now.”

“Really now, Ren, why so testy? You can just knock the bitch up again, no harm, no foul,” Hux shrugged.

It only took a fraction of a second for Ben to move his hand from the tie to Hux’s throat, squeezing tightly. He was glad they were out of range of any other eyes, or else he'd be in even more trouble. He dug his fingers in right over the windpipe, threatening to crush it if Hux so much as sputtered one more thing out of line. He wanted to defend Rey, to tell Hux not to call his wife a bitch, but that would just confirm Hux’s suspicions even more. So instead, he held his tongue and just stared, letting the man see every bit of his barely contained rage.

Hux laughed, a broken and strained sound. “Gotcha.”

“For what, exactly? Defending a student from you calling her names? For defending myself from your accusations?” Ben growled back, stepping in closer until he had Hux pinned up against the nearest wall.

“For one, placing your hands in a harmful way on a fellow faculty members,” Professor Gwendolyn Phasma said, stepped out from behind a tree, holding her phone aloft. “And for another, we’ve seen the receipt from where the previously-known Rey Niima purchased that ring on your finger. As well as your marriage certificate. Just...give it up, Ren. Go up those steps and resign and no one will ever have to know what we know.”

Instantly releasing Hux, Ben stepped back and shook his head, raking both hands through his hair. This wasn't happening, he couldn't believe this. Everything had been going _so_ well, and here came Hux and his henchwoman Phasma. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he considered his options. He could just resign, he really could, but somehow he didn't believe it would just stop there. Part of him wondered how they gotten access to such documents, and the little voice in his head whispered that they'd been stalking him and Rey. Finally, he just sighed and turned in the opposite direction, needing to think.

________________

Rey was chewing her thumbnail and nervously petting Daisy with the other as she waited for Ben to come home. They needed to talk but it wasn’t the type of conversation had on the phone. It was the type of conversation where she handed over the damned letter she’d opened and just waited for him to tell her what they were going to do. He had to know.

She jumped when she heard the front door close, spooking Daisy so hard that she went skittering away.

“Ben?” she called out, even though it was stupid. Of _course_ it was her husband. Who else could it be?

In the entryway, he unwrapped his scarf and hung it on the coat rack, his jacket following suit. He came into the living room next, his face somber. Seeing her expression, he knew something had happened to her too. “You first,” he said.

She turned and grabbed the letter off their coffee table, handing it over to him. “They’re opening a formal investigation as the to “legitimacy of my undergraduates degree”. Someone knows, Ben. Someone knows.” She swallowed down the tears that threatened to spill, even as her hands shook. She needed to stay strong. They needed to be strong.

“It’s Hux,” he told her as he took the letter, reading it over quickly. “I had an...incident with him earlier.” He sighed heavily and went to sit on the couch, slumping forward to hold his head in his hands. “He knows, and he and Phasma gave me the ultimatum--resign or they tell.”

“You can’t resign! They can’t win!” Rey insisted, her eyes blazing with passion. “There has to be something, _some_ sort of loophole. Your mom! Let’s ask Leia! She has to know.”

Frowning, he gripped her hand and dragged her down onto the couch with him, tucking her head under his chin as he hummed in thought. “I don't know that she'll be able to help, really. Hux has us by the throats--it’s damning how much they know, Rey. I don't know how we'll be able to get out of this one.”

She growled, burrowing further into his hold and pulling a blanket over their laps. “I hate him. Why can’t he just leave us alone? What does he even _get_ out of this, besides sick joy?”

“That's pretty much it,” he mumbled back, kissing the top of her head. Leaning against the back of the couch, he pulled her with him, taking a brief moment to appreciate how tiny she was compared to him. She took up almost no space on his lap, and as he would his arms around her and held her snugly, he shrugged. “I mean, we can try to call my mom, but I really don't want to hear a bunch of 'I told you so’s. I honestly think I might have a literal rage fit if she fucking says that.”

“She wouldn’t!” Rey insisted. She nuzzled up under his chin, sweet and reassuring. “I have been texting with your mom basically nonstop since Christmas. She really loves you, Ben, and she really wants what is best for you and us. I’m pretty sure she would support us fighting the school if we have to. She knows you love your job, and my internship is compromised if my degree is and she knows how badly I want _that_. I mean, how can we raise the baby if neither of us has a job?”

“We could always become hobos and live in a nice cardboard box,” he offered, trying to lighten the mood, even if it was a stupid joke.

“Hmmm...you, me, two cats, and our baby, all in the nicest box poverty can buy. Sounds like a dream,” she said, sighing into his embrace fully. It was pretty hard to be too worried when she felt so safe like this, so happy and warm and protected and _loved_. “Call Leia, honey. She’ll know what to do.”

Groaning, he fished his phone from his pocket and dialed Leia, refusing to let go of Rey. Hugging her to him with his arm over her chest, he rubbed her arm soothingly as he waited for Leia to answer. Once she did, he blurted out, “We’re fucked.”

“I’d think so, what with trying for a baby and what not,” Leia snarked immediately, not one to shy away from such topics. However, her son rarely called so she knew something pretty bad must be up. “What’s wrong, Ben?”

“The school sent Rey a letter. And I'm in deep shit with Armitage,” he said, getting right to the point. “And...we need your help.”

Leia sighed heavily, feeling her every year of life weighing down on her very soul as she pictured a bleak future for her son and his new family. She was glad, though, that she was Dr. Leia Organa-Solo and not someone who easily gave up, and she already knew what to do. “Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry. But don’t worry, okay? I’ve been looking into the rules a lot since you two showed up with your little Christmas surprise and I know how I can help. Get in contact with your TA from last semester as soon as possible. Their testimony is going to be key to keeping both you kids safe and employed.”

“Anything else?” Ben prompted, chewing at the inside of his cheek. His TA had been competent; vigilant, even. Surely she would have noticed anything going on between them had they been trying to game the system. But they hadn’t. He'd gone out of his way to ensure he was treating every single one of his students fairly, ensuring that he didn't help Rey study for his class anymore than he would everyone else. Kaydel would definitely have their backs without even realizing it.

“Is there any chance that Rey had an...unusually close relationship with any of her other professors? Those in her major are going to be scrutinized the hardest now, but even her gen-ed professors are going to be interviewed. They’ll be looking to demonize one of you, and if they can prove that she had made a pattern of this, they’ll revoke her degree. _Not_ that I think she has, she’s such a sweet girl, but if she was being shown constant favor by her professors for _any_ reason, they’ll make the leap to sexual contact,” Leia said.

“Jesus Christ,” he muttered, dragging his hand over his face. “Dameron. She did with Dameron.” He still wasn't happy about that, but it was in the past and now they were facing the effects from it.

Rey frowned at Ben for a moment before she realized what was being asked. She groaned, pulling the comforter over her head. Stupid, stupid, _stupid_ past Rey!

Leia also groaned. “Great. That idiot can’t go a single semester without being involved with a student, I swear. If that becomes known, there’s no way they’ll let her keep her degree.” She frowned. “I wouldn’t have pegged him as her type. She seems like the type who would have eaten him alive. I thought he went more for the docile...um...easy types.”

“Yeah, it's a long story. Not that this was _my_ first time, either,” he admitted somewhat sheepishly. “But no one else knows about that. Of that I'm fairly certain.” He sighed softly, rubbing Rey’s arm even more, trying to bring her some semblance of comfort while his own nerves were being frayed.

“Well, I can’t give you any more shit because then I’d be a hypocrite. Listen, let’s just try to cover our bases as best we can. Your TA will be our golden ticket.” On second thought… “Benjamin, _please_ tell me the other time wasn’t your TA.”

“No, it wasn't my TA, mom. It _was_ Rey’s best friend, though. Before I met her. And there's something else. I _may_ have choked Hux today. And Phasma got a picture. I'll take any repercussions for that, of course. But Rey’s degree will _not_ be revoked,” he vowed, shaking his head at his own stupidity. How easily he'd given in and acted on his temper. Hux had probably been betting on that, too.

“I can’t say that little shit didn’t deserve that, but let me see what I can do about Phasma. Her loyalty can be bought for the right price, I know it.” Leia sighed. “If Hux exposed you two, there will be a hearing. I’ll see what I can get done beforehand. It’s my job as a mother to protect my kids, and I will do whatever I can to get the straightened up in the cleanest possible way.”

“Thanks, Mom. Just let us know what we need to do.” He looked down at Rey, covering the mouthpiece of the phone as he asked her, “Did I miss anything?”

Rey shook her head, thinking of nothing. “Just our thanks.” She’d text Leia more, later. They were planning a dinner soon, hoping to continue to fix the damage of years ago. She now hoped Leia wouldn’t judge her too hard for her involvement with Poe. How in the world did she explain it without coming across as...well.

Seeing the look on Rey’s face, he shook his head. “Stop. You're not a slut, if that's what you're thinking. If anyone is, it would be me. You're perfect, and none of that matters now.” He tucked the phone back into his pocket and tugged her down onto the couch with him, arm around her waist. “We’ll figure this out, okay? Through thick and thin, you've got me.”

“Ditto,” she said. “And you’re not a slut, either. We’re both grown adults who explored our sexuality before finding each other. Nothing is wrong with that.”

“No, nothing is wrong with that,” he repeated quietly, smiling despite the situation. “Although now that I get to express it with you, I'm much happier. And I hear that sex is a great tension reliever.” Smirking, he kissed her head before standing and scooping her up into his arms to take her upstairs. They had a baby to try for, after all.

Later that evening as they laid in bed together, Rey on her back with a pillow under her hips to keep her tilted, she shared with him the other letter she’d received today. RM had finally given her a start date for her paid internship, beginning at the start of their next quarter April. But she was invited to come shadow and observe on a list of dates, the first of which was in two weeks. The letter from school had given a hearing date of one week from now.

She hoped she’d get to meet the team.

________________

Hux was aglow as he strolled into the administrative building. He’d been riding the satisfied high ever since last week when he’d confronted Ren, although it had begun when he’d run and tattled to the president of the university two days before. Although the professor inside of him _did_ regret knowing that taking down Ren meant taking down a young woman he’d heard was an exceptionally bright student (and he was impressed to learn that she’d graduated early even after her medical mishap), Ren had to go. He chalked it up to her misfortune for hitching her wagon to Ren’s sorry, pathetic ass. The girl may be brilliant, but she was clearly still too young to understand that her choices had consequences.

Perhaps he could offer to cheer her up after she realized Ren had ruined her life? He did recall noting that she _was_ a pretty little thing. As long as she didn’t bear Ren any dratted offspring between now and then, of course. He preferred to stay clear of such messy things.

Hux’s good feelings dissipated, however, as he turned the corner and saw Dr. Organa-Solo and Dr. Solo standing outside the appointed room with Ren and the girl. _Great_.

Looking over at Hux as he approached, Ben narrowed his eyes a bit but said nothing, unwilling to fall into another trap. He kept his hands shoved into his pockets, and he'd refused to take his ring off to before going towards the board. He wasn't ashamed of his wife, and after everything they'd been through, like hell was he going to disrespect her by taking his ring _off._

“Look who it is,” Han supplied, glaring at the ginger himself. “Mr. Tattle-tale.”

Ben turned his attention briefly towards his father, shaking his head. “Don't even bother. He's not worth it.”

“Don’t antagonize him, Han,” Leia agreed.

“I should have _guessed_ the whole family would band together. No matter. Perhaps we can solve several of the universities problems at once,” Hux sneered. He looked from Han to Ren, smirking. “Like father, like son, _indeed._ Although legend has it that Dr. Solo went on _many_ more...digs, shall we say?...than you, Ren. Perhaps you _didn’t_ live up to your family reputation. No matter, you still wielded the same results.”

Rey gripped Leia by the wrist, holding her back.

“Being married to a beautiful, kind woman? You're so right,” Ben retorted back, rolling his eyes.

Han just growled, his hands bunching into fists. Ben had to get his temper from somewhere. He wanted to hurl insults right back at the red-head, things like how he was a bastard child whose family barely wanted anything to do with him. But that _might_ also strike a little too close to home with Rey, so he held his tongue to avoid offending her in the same blow.

“Let’s just go inside and be done with this,” Rey said, reaching out to hold Ben’s hand. She also hadn’t eschewed her wedding ring today. She knew they could obtain her marriage license if they wanted to, so why pretend they weren’t married? They weren’t on trial for getting hitched, they were on trial for what basically amounted to favoritism. Leia had reassured them that they could fight this. Rey trusted her.

Nodding, Ben led Rey inside and up to the front of the room, ignoring the eyes of other professors gathered up at the front. He pulled out the chair for Rey at one of the tables and scooted it in behind her before he settled beside her. Han and Leia took up a spot behind them. It was basically a courtroom setting, just without a legal ruling coming down from the 'judge’. Underneath the table, he gripped Rey’s hand for reassurance, for both himself and for her. They could do this. No matter what happened, they'd still have each other. He just hoped she didn't resent him too badly if her degree did get revoked.

The president of the university, Yu Statura, was looking through a file as they entered, making sure he had all the information necessary before they began. He raised an eyebrow as the odious Armitage Hux came in, smirking like a smarmy little pest. He hadn’t wanted to entertain Hux’s claim, but when he was handed the marriage license and several other pieces of evidence, he had no choice but to investigate. He was a bit surprised to see the couple in question coming in hand-in-hand; impressed, really, that they’d decided to show a united front.

“Good afternoon and thank you all for taking the time out of your day for this. We’re here to discuss the legitimacy of the undergraduate degree obtained by Miss--I apologize, _Mrs. Rey_  Solo, as well as a call to action regarding Professor Kylo Ren, hereafter known as Professor Ben Solo, and the accusation of an inappropriate relationship with a student,” Statura began. He sighed, looking from Ben to Rey, the formality in his tone falling away. “Listen, obviously you two are married. I see that. Everyone here sees that. But you both _do_ understand why this hearing is taking place, yes?”

“Yes, Mr. Statura,” Rey replied immediately.

Ben nodded, as well. “Yes, we do.” He wanted to say more, to explain how it wasn't necessary because he hadn't shown any favoritism to her, but he knew only the evidence would speak to his claims. “Call whoever you need to, sir.”

He gave Rey’s hand another squeeze.

“I’ve gathered interviews from every professor Mrs. Solo had whilst attending our university. Most of your professors had glowing things to say about you, Mrs. Solo, and a thorough examination of your transcript shows that you were capable of successes and failures in even your targeted area of study. However, in examining your academic record, I see that you were enrolled in Professor Solo’s class twice. Professor Dameron made a plea to the university to allow you to drop your classes last year without reprimand, at the same time that Professor Solo had added you to his medical insurance. I am not asking you to divulge any medical history to me, Mrs. Solo, that’s not relevant to this, but there is a lot of...shall we say...mystery surrounding this situation. There is a suggestion in here that you may have also been involved with Professor Dameron, although that seems to just be speculation,” Statura said.

Rey swallowed, her heart rate spiking at this. Damn Ben for being kind and caring and saving her stupid life.

“Professor Solo, what drove you to add your student to your insurance?” Statura asked.    

Ben answered easily, sticking to the facts without revealing too much information, “She had a medical emergency and no other coverage.”

“Professor Solo, what was the nature of your relationship with Mrs. Solo at that time that made you think that you were her best option for this?” Statura asked.

“A friend,” he answered honestly. “Someone who didn't want to see his student die from blood loss.”

Statura sighed heavily. “Solo, you need to answer _honestly._ ” He pulled something out of the file and held it out for everyone else to see.

Rey gasped. It was a photo of her and Ben standing in his classroom, close together. It was from the day she’d miscarried, probably only a few minutes before, judging by how they were standing. She wondered who had creeped on them like that, who was being so nosey that they’d decided to not only take the picture, but then somehow put in Hux’s hands.

Why did she get the feeling the person _was_ Hux?

“I was not _with_ Mrs. Solo at that time, President Statura,” Ben said, sitting more straightly. “I cared for her, yes, but I was not in a relationship with her during the period of time in which that photo was taken.”

Statura narrowed his eyes at the younger man. “Professor Solo, I am aware that what you teach is English and that you have a command over prose. Your phrasing makes it sound like you and Mrs. Solo may not have been involved on that day, but on others instead surrounding it.”

“We weren’t together when that photo was taken, sir, but we were together in the time before and after it,” Rey admitted, hating the dancing around. “Our relationship began when I was not his student and it ended shortly after we discovered I was enrolled in his class.” _Because I was pregnant with someone else’s child_. But again, that wasn’t necessary.

Statura sighed again. “But it seems like it began again? May I ask what possessed you two to tempt fate, again?”

Rey shrugged sheepishly. “I needed the credit for my degree and his was the only course that worked in my schedule.”

“Is Kaydel Connix here today?” Statura asked. He appreciated Rey’s honesty, but he had a feeling that, judging by the blush on her cheeks, there may have been a bit _more_ to why she’d chosen to enroll in Solo’s class. He wished the university didn’t make him do things like this. He was young once, too. He remembered what it was like to be young and have lots of...emotions.

“Here, sir,” Kaydel said, standing from her spot in the back row. She moved forward to stand at a little table off to the side in the main part of the room.

Ben felt pretty confident, as Kaydel had been alone with him ample times, and nothing had ever happened with it. She was observant and smart, and she wasn't a liar. That had to work in his favor.

“Records here show that you were Professor Solo’s teaching assistant these last two semesters. Is that correct?” Statura asked.

Kaydel nodded again, her blonde hair done up in her signature buns on either side of her head. “That's correct, sir.”

“Miss Connix, during that time, were you often alone with Professor Solo?” Statura asked.

Rey’s eyes went wide. Oh god, no. This was somehow more embarrassing. Surely they didn’t think that Ben was sleeping with every cute girl he came in contact with?

“Yes, sir. I often had to meet with him in his office to go over some assignments he needed help grading,” she said, her face unreadable.

“Did Professor Solo ever proposition you inappropriately?” Statura asked.

Her brows furrowed at that, and she looked almost angry as she replied, “No, sir. He never gave me any impression that he was anything except professional.”

“What was Professor Solo’s grading process, Miss Connix?” Statura asked.

“He had me cover up the names of the students on every assignment he personally graded. Everything else that I graded, he made sure to give me space while I did it,” she answered, tilting her head slightly. It all made so much sense to her now.

“Did you ever observe Professor Solo changing the grades you gave afterwards?” Statura asked. “Had you ever gone back and checked over the grades he’d submitted for the students to make sure they matched the ones you assigned?”

“He asked me to double check them, even triple check them sometimes. They always matched up with everything else. President Statura, I do not believe Professor Solo showed Rey any sort of favoritism. I was well-involved throughout the entire class and with grades until final grades were posted. I never saw any unfair treatment.”

Statura nodded at that. “Thank you, Miss Connix. You’re excused.”

“Thank you,” she murmured, dipping her head as she disappeared to the back of the room and took up her previous spot.

Ben frowned slightly, wondering what else would be thrown their way. Hux was probably going to have something else up his sleeve, if Ben knew him correctly.

“Professor Gwendolyn Phasma, can I have you come up here now?” Statura asked.

Phasma strutted to the front of the room, taking up the space Kaydel had just been standing in, her hands clasped in front of her. “Yes?”

“Professor Phasma, I have been informed that you have additional evidence that there was something against university policy happening here. What, exactly, is that?” Statura asked.

“I have proof of an assault by Professor Solo against Professor Armitage Hux that happened about a week ago. Regardless of the outcome with him and his _wife,_ this is something that cannot be ignored,” she said, handing a small envelope up to where President Statura was sitting.

Ben felt his heart sink, but not as much as it would have if Rey had lost her degree. He could worry about his own career, as long as she had hers to fall back on, still.

Statura looked down at the photo, bringing it close to his face as he scrutinized every detail. “Assault, you say? I don’t see any hands being laid on a person here.”

“What?” she snapped, whipping her head up to look at the man. She shifted closer, her long legs allowing her to just barely get a look.

Hux was at her side in exactly one moment, furious. “That--that _brute_ laid his hands on me for no reason!”

Statura looked at Hux, raising an eyebrow. “For no reason, you say? Professor Hux, if he had no reason to, quote, lay his hands on you, unquote, then why was Professor Phasma standing by to document it?”

“Because he was concerned for his safety when he confronted Ren about his affair with Miss...Rey,” Phasma said, placing her hands on her hips.

“Seems a bit contrived for my tastes. Almost like a set up to be sure that Professor Solo loses his position,” Statura said, leaning back into his seat. “Listen, _Hux_ , I appreciate you for bringing this issue to light, but it would appear that Solo covered his bases well and behaved as well as he could, given the situation. Those two are married, not just screwing around, so clearly the relationship they have is something solid and real. While the university certainly frowns upon such relationships, it would seem that Mrs. Solo did not benefit any more or less from the relationship, nor did Professor Solo attempt to lure any others into his fray. Now let’s put this little situation to rest and move on with our days. It’s the beginning of a new semester and I’m sure we all have plenty of work to do.”

“But--but--but!” Hux sputtered.

“We’re done here. Congratulations, you two,” Statura said, getting up from his seat and moving past Hux to speak to another professor.

“But--but!” Hux seethed, shaking with rage.

Positively _beaming_ with excitement, Ben threw his arm around Rey’s shoulders and tugged her in against him, kissing her soundly. He was beyond happy that he didn't have to hide anything anymore, that their relationship didn't have to be kept to the shadows. Rey was going to get her degree, and he was going to keep his job. He kissed her for every single moment he hadn't been able to in the past and held her tightly against him before releasing her only to help her up.

He could see Hux and Phasma both standing in the corner, vibrating with fury, but it really didn't matter anymore. Their looming thundercloud of angst was finally lifting and they were free to live their lives. They could move wherever they wanted, and do whatever they wanted to do.

“How long was that internship of yours again?” he asked Rey, his mouth pressed against the side of her head.

“One year, starting in March,” Rey replied, sighing happily into his arms.

“You better write Statura the _nicest_ thank you letter for today,” Leia hissed quietly. “You have no idea how much argument it took to get him to drop this. Or how much money.”

Han smiled and clapped Ben on the shoulder. “But the new Organa-Solo student union will be a beauty, won’t it?”

“I'll even send him a bouquet of flowers, and some gift cards to his favorite restaurants,” Ben promised, chuckling. To Rey, he said, “I was thinking...so that you don't have to drive so far, what if we find some middle ground place to stay at that's equal distance between your internship and my job? Maybe buy another house…”

“A new house? But Ben, that’s where--!” _Where we first made love_ , she stops herself from saying. She knows she’s irrationally attached to his house, attached to the memories they’d made there in the last year, all of the highs and lows that they’d faced together. Every time they made dinner together, she thought of that first time. Every time they laid in bed together, she thought of that first time. Even when they sat on the couch together, she thought of when they’d had ice cream together. Every room in that house had a memory for her, all of their firsts, and she was heartbroken to leave it behind.

“Your first house together! How exciting. Oh Rey, it’s so lovely being able to set up a house,” Leia sighed happily. “Lots of happy memories to be made in your first home that you bought together.”

Rey turned to her mother-in-law and realized that that was true, too. The memories they had in his current house were the memories of their dating life, of their hook up and their attempt at a relationship, of their break up and then their make up. Perhaps, now that they were married, they needed to find a new place to make memories.

“I’d love to buy a house with you,” Rey said. “A nice quiet street, maybe, with a great big yard for our kids to play around in.”

He smiled at the image that created, of their first born toddling around the front yard while Rey was already working on their second, her stomach swollen with their next child. They had to get past baby number one first, and safely, but it was a nice image. “I’d love that, too,” he chuckled, kissing her head again.

Hux and Phasma finally left, finally seeming to realize that lingering about wasn't going to change the outcome of the decision. No one missed them as Ben took his family, mother and father included, out for dinner at a little diner that evening in celebration. There was laughter all around, followed by great food and a few drinks, but not too many, since Rey had tapped on his shoulder during the end of dinner and informed him that, according to an app on her phone, she was the most fertile right now and they had business to attend to.

“Put a baby in me, Professor,” Rey purred as they stumbled into their bedroom, having clawed each other’s clothes off from the moment they got home. She was reminded of the first time they’d come in here, her clothes having been torn off her as he pressed her against the wall next to the door. The only difference, she realized with a grin, was that Jax had still been shy and there was no Daisy at his side to come and chirp at them at the door.  

Smirking deviously, he dragged her on top of him as he fell backwards on the bed, wanting to watch her move above him. “Maybe this time,” he nodded in agreement, shifting until he was poised at her entrance. He dropped her down onto him easily, letting her do the motions of rolling her hips while he reached up to cup both of her breasts. He couldn't wait until she was pregnant, and he just knew he would love her body even more, how full her breasts would be, how wonderfully adorable she'd be while she was led around with her huge stomach. He wanted it, and it didn't take too long before he was panting underneath her, fighting his body.

She panted above him, her hands digging into his broad chest as she used him for leverage, alternating between rolling her hips and bouncing on him, using his body in every way she was accustomed to by now. Even though they were doing this for the main purpose of procreation, Rey was just as happy to pin him down and fuck him senseless when they weren’t trying. Sex with her husband was never an obligation or a chore, and even though tonight’s was driven by one goal, they both knew it was also a celebration of their love.

A noticeable weight had been lifted from both of their shoulders at the knowledge that both of their jobs were now secure, and they’d thanked his parents endlessly for everything they’d done to make that happen. Leia had revealed that Statura was initially furious, but she’d argued on their behalf, reminding him that “if the kids were just fucking, it would be a problem. But a marriage, a legally-binding contract between a man and a woman that promised love forever, was something that should never be punished.” Just before they left for dinner, Leia also let it slip that she’d gotten her brother to agree to come back to the school to give a lecture once a semester on “surviving in the modern world without modern advances”, as they’d be begging for ever since he departed from the university twenty years ago to live his hermit life. Rey knew that her in-laws had taken every risk in protecting them. She was endlessly grateful.

“God, Ben, you feel so good. So, so good,” she moaned out, grinding her pelvis into his to get some stimulation on her swollen clit.

Slipping his hands down to have one grip her hip while his other worked between her legs, he gasped with each bounce of her body over his. “Fuck, baby, you’re going to make me come,” he breathed, the tendons in his neck straining with his effort to hold back just enough until she did. “Come for me first,” he demanded, thrusting back up into her. “Come for me and then I'll fill you up. I'll put a baby in you, I'll give you the world if you just fucking _come!”_

Rey nodded, trying so hard to just get there. His fingers felt wonderful, slipping so easily along her, and she brought one of her own hands up to tweak at her nipples. She hated moments like these, when she just wanted to let go but her body was stubbornly holding on. It was strange, because she never wanted to stop fucking her husband, but in moments like these, she just needed to crest that first orgasm and then things would get _better_. Convincing her stupid body of that, however, seemed to be an entirely different matter and she let out a stream of frustrated obscenities as she felt it get closer, closer, closer…

 _“Ben!”_ she finally screamed, going completely still above him as she collapsed forward onto his chest. She could feel herself clenching around him, could feel every last inch of his wonderful cock buried all the way to her cervix, pushed exactly where they needed him to be to get their prize. She’d heard that some couples grew bitter and cold to each other when trying for a baby took too long. She was positive that they could never be like that.

Shuddering with her, he bucked his hips up against hers and groaned against her ear, arms coming up to clutch her around him. “Pretty sure that's our winner,” he whispered with a soft chuckle. “And if not, we'll just have to get more creative in the bedroom. You'd mentioned you were interested in roleplaying. Such a shame I don't have a hot, sexy female student to keep me company anymore.”

“Professor Solo, are you suggesting that I dress in a slutty little school girl outfit and seduce you?” she asked, smirking.

“I certainly wouldn't complain,” he replied, kissing her mouth gently. “I'm very fond of your skirts--easy access.” Smiling, he rolled with her to press her into the bed, pressing his mouth along her throat. “If you're feeling particularly devious that day, you could always forgo panties, as well.”

“I seem to remember you also have an affinity for me in skirts without panties,” Rey said, smirking at the memory of it. “We can never send our kids to private schools. Plaid is forever tainted.”

He barked out a laugh at that, shaking his head. “Of course not. No daughter of mine is going to be in one of those uniforms. No way in hell.”

“Or else she’ll attract some pervert boy who won’t know how to keep his hands off her. And, being my daughter, she’ll tempt him at every chance she gets,” she said.

“Well, I guess I'll just have to go buy a gun to keep them away,” he mumbled, reaching for their blankets. He grabbed her 'special’ pillow and placed it beside him before situating her so that her hips were tilted a bit. Laying beside her, his head resting on his own pillow, he smiled gently and brushed his fingers over her hand, twining his with hers after a moment. “I love you, Rey.”

“I love you, too. And if you think you’re going to be _that_ creepy dad, I’ll drag you upstairs and keep you away,” she said, lying their joined hands over her stomach. “But, for now, let’s just focus on making you a dad.”

Humming contentedly, he nuzzled into her hair, tucking himself against her side as he started to drift off to sleep. Things were good, life was good. They'd won, and they were going to have a family soon. Rey Solo had come crashing into his life and even through all of the trials they'd gone through together, they'd managed to come out on top, getting everything they could ever want in the world. Their plans may have been different in the beginning, but they'd converged together until they practically merged into one person with the same ideals in so many ways it was almost scary.

Ben was happy. His wife was happy, healthy, and they had a family to start. It was a task both of them took _very_ seriously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much if you've stuck it out with this story this long. The first part was rough, we know, but we appreciate every single one of you.


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